Today's society has forgotten just how powerful a man's outwardly limited and subtle ways of expression are.

As children, all of us go for exaggerated emotional expression. As we grow into adults, the manner in which we express change. For men, not only does testosterone inhibit emotional agitation in favor of drive and fire, the very manner of expression becomes extremely subtle, even reaching stillness. Not wooden or robotic, but subtle and stoic.

Now this is an important point that goes unsaid -- it's that men's gestures of emotion are far more subtle, but the very subtlety in fact makes them much more powerful. A man's emotions get more powerful the more subtle they become. Men become more powerful the less reactive and more proactive they are.

Popular narrative would like to tell you that unless you aren't losing your shit and using your tears to solve the world's water crisis, you're not having enough feeling. The reality is that a man's silence can be more powerful than a woman's tears. A man may shed a single tear silently with more power and dignity than a herd of wailing women. A small quiver in his voice can convey the equivalent of a woman or a child crying all night over a stack of paper towels.

Actually getting too emotional and solipsistic is a sign of a big ego. That makes a man unattractive. It takes him out of being in the moment. His creative energies get stuck. He simply can't be at his best the instant he loses control of his mind and emotions. Men therefore show just enough emotion to convey power, but never so much that they lose it.

An excessive display of emotion by a man can cause too much damage, unlike that of a woman or a child. The reason why women can't really handle this very well is because it's simply too much for them. They're looking to you to stabilize them.

Many movies get this part of men's emotions wrong as well - where they need their actors to get mad to increase the drama index of their story. The best example of this is Apollo 13, the Real Story : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=69LDSL-9--g

The Apollo 13 movie is accurate in the events, but it likes to show management and the astronauts as emotional and furious and losing their shit from time to time, getting bitchy and blaming for the sake of impact, whereas in real life it was their cool as ice policy that brought them back home with emergency after emergency and every chance something might not work at the last minute. One can see how little emotion is actually way more powerful than losing control over them. Astronauts and pilots are trained to stay calm and focused emotion rather than disturbed emotion under pressure.

You think a whiny cry baby "in touch with his feminine side" who thinks that only talks and feelings matter could have landed on the moon or handled an emergency situation like this?

One can also see the example of the best sportsmen and athletes when they're in the zone. They might look calm, but at that moment they're performing like a beast - all sorts of adjectives are thrown around to describe the impact of it and yet it is formless. One person even described watching the phenomenon as a religious experience. The most impressive performance seem like effortless magic. But it's a fine balancing act. The moment they've lost their mind, or think or feel too much, they've lost their performance.

Now men indeed do fist pumps, grunt, scream a big "Yeaah!" or "Come on", but it's because such expressions when coupled to a major victory or action release a small rush of testosterone and boost power, confidence and focus. However, this is in fact reserved and never overdone, the moment it does, it becomes an antic and looks fake. In scarcity lies value, excess of anything makes it cheap. In general any display of emotion that decreases testosterone in a man is not attractive. Low T men tend to emote more like children (a problem when you cross 50, which is reason who knows what number why you should lift for life).

Take a look an USAF general's speech : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4auM08D-S\_E - subtle, but powerful. Or a Navy Admiral's : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pxBQLFLei70 (He gives some very good advice). Or this guy, who gives some amazing fitness advice : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IZcOAQoE81A -- Even a sense of humor can be absolutely and especially devastating when delivered nonchalantly. Good speakers like this are incredibly impressive. The common thing is their subtle intensity that you just can't miss. Your first reaction is to respect them at a visceral level. This is what we're looking for.

What's the real difference between stoicism and a being a block of wood? Well, unless you're autistic, in stoicism you're fully present in this moment. But if you're mentally absent from reality, it will show up in your body language as as uncaring or indifferent. Your involved presence is what gives power to the subtlety of your expression. A lowered ego allows a man to tap more deeply into his power and intuition - too much agitation of thought or emotion ruins intuition. All he needs to do is to be intensely present in the reality of this moment. Intensity, not agitation.

But that doesn't mean the road is easy. The path from child to man needs intense training. And life can get overwhelming - the weight of past memory and future uncertainty and shocks can weigh one down too much at times. But there's a solution for that too. If you get overwhelmed, you have a nothing box built in to your brain - it's an internal man cave, designed to detach you from the craziness of your mind. Meditation and presence are the key to unlocking it.

To conclude, women's emotional expressions are like the waves on a lake. Men's are like the lake underneath the waves, it has its own depth and intensity.