At the end of Part 2, I elected to join the military, in part, to become more like my roommate and lady-killer mentor, Chad. Now, it had always been something I considered, but I wouldn't be honest with myself, or the readers, if I didn't say I was motivated by my desire to improve my success with women. In the desire to remain anonymous, I will not fully disclose my rank, branch of service, or job. Lets put it this way: I had a very, very cool job in the military. I wasn't just a mechanic or something lame. I figured if you do something, do it right, so I made sure to ensure my success and happiness. As a result of my rank and job selection, I was surrounded, once again, by other ambitious, attractive, successful men. My first duty station was down south, next to a beach, in a pretty cool city.

Though I joined the military for the wrong reasons, I was very happy there. I was financially stable for the first time in my life, I was in great shape, I didn't smoke weed all the time anymore, I had great friends, and my job was fun, ambitious, dangerous, and exciting. It really is true that accomplishing difficult and complex tasks builds confidence. For the first time in my life, I was confident in my abilities and felt solidified and accomplished as a person. This had nothing to do with women and everything to do with my physical fitness and my career success. Prior to joining the military, I was too focused on women, and had not really spent enough time examining my future, my career, and what I wanted out of life. All of these things are FAR more important that pussy folks. I finally had a mission that I cared about, and I felt amazing. I began spending the majority of my time working out, studying for my job, reading, and building a secondary revenue stream outside of my military service. It helps with confidence and game when women become an element of your life, and not just your primary focus. Being in a beautiful location with tons of sun, college campuses, and young women around proved to be a fantastic location for game. I supplemented with dating apps, but I quickly found that it really is just a waste of time. I had much more success running beach game and bar game. I did quite well. I consistently had about three regular plates at a time, and sprinkled some ONS in the mix. Still, I wasn't really enjoying myself, and it was mostly out of a desire to prove to myself that this was possible, boredom, and pure need to have a sexual release.

As was the reality for almost all of the single men in my job, I was pulling great results. Retrospectively, I am not entirely sure that this was due to improved game, and likely was similar to my success in college. If you have a high enough SMV due to your looks, job, or social status, a lot of women will overlook your internal flaws simply to lock down someone that is successful and grants them the ability to gain your SMV. If you lay a bit of dread game and understand this, you can reap easy access without really developing internally to the extent you would need to without having a very manly and attractive career and disposition. Nonetheless, after about a year of better results from game than I had ever had, I eventually reached the point where I "grew tired" of just having plates and ONS. This is a difficult situation to explain. Honestly, I had never really let go of the idea of the one. My experiences with Chad and my experience the first year of the military had left me empty. I wasn't angry any more, and I had never been delusional, but I certainly wasn't happy. I was successful in my life, physically, financially, and socially, but something felt empty. No matter how many women I had in my bed, no matter how many nudes I had in my phone, I just could not fill the void of the love that I had so long been told existed. It was then that I began to believe that the RedPill while important, was not the whole story.

AWALT isn't true. I'm just pre-selecting for slutty chicks. There isn't a "One," but likely, there are many women that could be a "one." These women don't want to date me because I have become a fuckboy, and while women don't want to fuck beta pussies, they also don't want to date slutty dudes. Maybe I have become too emotionally closed off, and these women just don't want to date someone who seems like a sociopath. Love has to exist right? I have felt it before. It wasn't a lie! I'm super confident now in a way that could only be developed from facing substantial odds of death at work every day, women won't leave me if I wrap them in. My frame is rock solid, I can easily keep a LTR because of my confidence and love of my life outside of her. Tie this in with plates stroking your ego trying to lock you down, and you start to develop some real cognitive dissonance. At this point, I really started looking for an LTR, and thats when Jan comes back into play.

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Return of The Original "ONE" - Jan

In order to fully explain the significance of this next chapter in my awakening, I must first explain that I spent the first 13 years of my life living in the South. This is where I met Jan. Jan was my first crush. She was my first kiss. It was a childish, puppy love, sure, but puberty wrecks a young boys mind, and Jan had remained a very important part of my pre-RedPill existence. I moved a thousand miles away for High School, and had remained out of the South until the military brought me back. Initially, Jan and I obviously lost touch. Facebook become huge around the time I graduated from High School, and Jan and I reconnected. For years, we maintained a friendly relationship via Facebook and the early flip phones. We talked often, and shared experiences as older teens and college students. I even saw her and her then boyfriend once when they where road-tripping through my college town. It is a powerful thing, first love. And it can work wonders on someone who believes they have left their miserable Beta existence, but who hasn't fully accepted the reality of women.

Jan had recently ended a LTR that had taken her to the West Coast, and had moved back to our southern hometown shortly after I decided I wanted an LTR. She lived about an hour away from where I was stationed, and I immediately began chatting her up again. This was the first time we both lived close to each other again, and the first time we where both single at the same time, so it was perfect. I ran game like it was my job. I passed shit-tests left and right. I got sexual, and she got sexual. At first. Through texts. The reality was, I was completely infatuated with her. She was absolutely gorgeous, tattooed, pierced, about to start med school, and a smoker with a tiny waste and a FAT ass and an appreciation of thongs. The smart bad girl type. Oh how I have a weakness for you. We texted and talked on the phone all the time, and I started to develop feelings for her like I had not felt in years. Our first date would be a different story. I drove up to see Jan and hang out.

The date went well. Just had some coffee and caught up on old times. We went back to her place and she smoked some herb while I drank a beer or two. The conversation was of the deep, intellectual variety, not the typical superficial conversations that I had with all of my plates and ONS. Oh Jan, you really aren't like the others! We spent a long day talking about Rick and Morty and the mysteries of the universe while Jan got stoned. I listened to her sweet, poetic voice recanting intelligent insights of literature and philosophy that I had never heard from a woman since Monica. We jammed on her guitar collection while she serenaded with her sirens voice. She did her own version of Smells Like Kevin Bacon by IWresteledABearOnce. How is such a beautiful, smart, and talented girl also such a badass!? I am infatuated.

Of course, I was so infatuated with her that I didn't have the balls to escalate. Yea, we touched a few times, but I didn't even go for the kiss after our day together. I just drove off into the sunset in my pure sexy V8 American Muscle. I couldn't believe myself. I couldn't believe I didn't even develop the courage to kiss. I haven't been afraid to kiss a girl in years! I'm running train with my plates and these beach/bar girls. Why am I a wreck right now? Oh!! She must be the One! Why else would a smart, successful, experienced, confident man do this? By some miracle that I still don't fully understand, I did not blow my chances with Jan. (If any of you guys can provide some insight into how Jan didn't ghost me after that debacle, please give it).

Jan texted me and told me that she had a fantastic time, was surprised and upset that I didn't kiss her, and couldn't wait to see me again. I was stoked. The next time, she came down to see me. We got hammered, played some pool and darts, and even got invited to the strip club by a bachelor party. Some drama ensued by a ONS that I didn't realize worked at the strip club, but that's another story. Me and Jan fucked all night. I was damn sure escalating this time. Bathroom, bed, shower, roommates bedroom, kitchen, pool, hot tub, car. If there was a place, we fucked there. She was my kind of sub, and I was her kind of dom, and that shit was wild. She left the next morning, and we kissed goodbye. I told her I was falling in love. She said she was too. I had come full circle! I was alpha enough to seduce, fuck, and keep a HB9! My life was complete!

We made plans to meet again in three weeks. I had some fraternity brothers coming for a visit, and I just knew they would get along. They would have plenty of good ganja she could smoke on. They partied like us. It would be great. We kept talking and texting. We told each other we loved each other. We spoke on the phone every single night. She had a "family emergency" the weekend she was supposed to come back down and couldn't visit my friends, but that was okay. We rescheduled and she was coming down the next weekend. She wasn't happy in our shit ass home town. I had new orders to move further West in four weeks. I figured hell, we only went on two dates and fucked once (well, multiple times, but on one occurrence), but why not ask her to move with me, we love each other, and long distance sucks, right? So I did, two days before she was scheduled to come visit me. And guess what happened? I never heard from Jan again. She had a new boyfriend in two months.

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For more on my RedPill journey, stay tuned for Part 4.

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