Purpose: a remedial beginners guide to striking up conversations. don't be that self-conscious guy in the corner that makes everyone uncomfortable just by the quiet anxious energy he gives off
Me: Blue Pill / "Nice Guy"/ autistic, swallowed the pill 3 years ago. Devoured sidebar and hit the gym. I've gained 30 lbs, I've gotten way better at striking up conversations, flirting, being the Captain of my ship, I enjoy going out on my own, I enjoy going out with friends more, I get IOI's. I'm not TheUltimateCAD but I dabble, and the option is there. Side Note: don't get married. If you're obsessed with raising your own kids, don't get married until you've spun plates, have solid frame, and find a naturally submissive woman. Even then, don't. No frame early in my marriage will always hold me back, even after doing the 12 Steps of Dread.
I get compliments on my conversation skills. A few comments to a blue pill friend; the guy red-pilled himself and now has the social life of a rock star. He thinks its because of me, really it's all him, I just nudged him into being himself and to stop apologizing for breathing.
Body:
Casual conversation struggles have 3 causes
1) you're in your head
Talk to everyone throughout your day. Talk to the person in line behind you about how crazy that new variety of Pumpkin Spice Latte is, and you're a little embarrassed about how badly you want to try such a girly drink. Or weather, just talk.
Don't be afraid to be that weird guy that just talks to people out of the blue. Comment on the world around you to the people around you. Ice breakers/openers are a security blanket: Your body language and energy are FAR more important than what you say. Be relaxed, DGAF, Amused Mastery frame help bigtime.
When you can't help but overhear a conversation, chime in with a comment. I'm often invited into conversations if I do this casually over the shoulder while keeping my body language relaxed and pointed towards the bartender.
Roosh's Day Bang! is top notch. His section on Old People Game is one of the most useful tools I've ever learned. Example: "Hey, is that the new iPhone Z? I'm in the market for a new phone" (knowing full well the iPhone Z doesn't exist) Let them educate you about it's features. Eventually they'll drop some info that you can use to turn the conversation. Example: "How is the camera? I take a lot of pictures and want a phone with a good camera" turns into them showing you vacation photos from Belize, turns into you asking about their trip to Belize and bonding over swapping crazy travel stories.
2) Save it for your diary
Nobody wants to listen to a lecture about your middle class upbringing, droning on and on, like your boring Uncle Mark forcing everyone to watch slides of his trip to Kansas. Kansas sucks.
People want to be the experts. People LIKE divulging information. Allow them. It gives them validation, makes them feel interesting and important. When someone divulges a small detail about their life, you have the option to ask about that detail. Like in the above example from Roosh. From phone to Belize in under a minute.
Watch Joe Rogan's podcast on youtube, he's a master at being relatable, entertaining, controversial, challenging his guests, and still having them do most of the talking. The less you divulge about yourself the better.
3) You're Boring
The job interview date questions are gross. Where do you work? Where are you from? She'll be hoping a "long lost friend" walks in the door to save her from you.
Be Daring Play the provacateur. Come up with a few apolitical theories that are divisive. Example: Most of the Harry Potter is filler and amusing side stories. You could skip most chapters and not lose much. Harry Potter fans HATE this and more importantly, they LOVE telling you at length how bad it is; especially if you're absolutely overconfident in the face of how dead-nuts wrong you are. Amused Mastery frame here.
The Art of Seduction by Robert Greene covers a lot of these roles you can play. The rake. The coquette. etc etc. His book contains too much information to internalize right away, so pick one that suits you and focus on that for awhile before exploring other chapters.
Banter Create ridiculous make believe scenarios "I wish I had a Maserati, why don't we steal one? You'll have to be the getaway driver though, I don't know how to drive a manual." Continue the conversation with the age-old Improv response of "yes, and..." until you spin off into another conversation topic. Refer to her as your getaway driver the rest of the night. Eventually morph that into your Driver. Then your Limo Driver. Then your Butler. Then have her call you Sir. "nuh-uh, it's Sir [name]"
The Art of Charm podcast covers this: episode 6, 8 and 409 are on banter. Not perfect material but the best I've found. You probably already did this with your bros in high school anyways, just learn to apply it to strangers.
Conclusion
You don't talk to people b/c you live in your head/smartphone and miss hundreds of opportunities to connect with people. Don't sleepwalk through life, be alive. You're fucking hilarious with your mates, don't be afraid to yourself. Say that stupid shit you were just joking about with your buddies.
source material: Roosh V's Day Bang! is sidebar for a reason. Why are you on TRP if you haven't read it yet?
the first dozen episodes of The Art of Charm podcast covers the basics, but ignore AJ's bluepill relationship advice. Episode 409 on Banter also
The Art of Seduction by Robert Greene is a textbook. Read it, then cherrypick a section you want to practice
The Joe Rogan Experience
TL;DR: don't be a self-conscious loser. Chat people up by commenting on random shit that comes into your brain. Forcing yourself to be a verbal person all the time will help you be mentally prepped for when it counts: that chance encounter with a lingerie saleswoman at the bus station or whatever. You're hilarious with your mates, the only reason you're not that way with everyone is fear.
​
This is my first TRP post, give me your feedback.
AutoModerator 5y ago
Why are we quarantined? The admin don't want you to know.
Register on our backup site: https://www.trp.red and reserve your reddit name today.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
strikethrough123 5y ago
This all depends on SMV. If your SMV is high, you’re the charming extrovert with great people skills. If your SMV is low, you’re the annoying nerd.
If anything, frequently striking up random conversations is a good way to determine SMV.
Onein1024th 5y ago
basic social skills --> mastering game --> higher SMV
lifting and style will only up your SMV so far if you open your mouth and prove yourself an awkward dork
Edit for clarity
Vikingcel 5y ago
If your smv was high you wouldn't be an awkward dork, you'd be the quirky hot guy.
[deleted] 5y ago
[--removed--]
Onein1024th 5y ago
Apparently it's easier to find a victimhood wallowing in ugliness
Be attractive : clothes, fitness, hair, jawline
​
Don't be unattractive: charisma, DGAF attitude, Amused Mastery frame
I've seen model-looks jacked dudes blow it by being awkward and shy. I've seen ugly balding guys crush it
c4toyourdoornobeef 5y ago
bruh my guy said jawline. I agree with the other things but not everyone has a Chad® jawline.
Onein1024th 5y ago
nobody's perfect, including you. deal with it
c4toyourdoornobeef 5y ago
lol? You name the things that everyone has control of ie fitness, fashion etc
and then you jump to "nobody's perfect"
lmao
good_guy_submitter 5y ago
What's the purpose of this conversation? There is none.
Onein1024th 5y ago
apparently to bicker about whether or not we should submit to nihilism or do the best with the cards we've been dealt and hit the gym.
every post on game here is full of incel comments like this lately
DeChef2 5y ago
Why is this black and white to you?
Don’t worry about the things you can’t control.
Don’t make excuses for the ones you can.
odaklanan_insan 5y ago
I -for instance- don't have a remarkable jawline, but have a stunning collarbone line, along with solid shoulders.
I'm sure most people have "something" to go with.
ElCidCampeon93 5y ago
Can confirm. I'm not a model looking guy, I'm reasonably attractive enough to pull a lot of hotties. I get awkward though because I'm too much in my head, not to mention that I used to hang out with a lot of rejects in high school. But I'm here on this subreddit to learn tips on how to not do that type of autistic shit and to make red pill principles instinctual.
MinistryOfTruth_ 5y ago
am model looking guy. Awkward af and a huge nerd for 40k and lord of the rings and fantasy books. Girls think I'm mysterious and laugh at any lame or awkward things I say. It's easy to get laid with most girls I want even though I feel I don't have game.
When I let myself get fat and dressed shitty a few years ago, I was like a pariah to hot girls lol. My personality and passion for nerd shit didn't change, I just got muscly and fit instead of being fat and started dressing better.
odaklanan_insan 5y ago
You pulled a lot of attention but, you still didn't get a lot of sex right? I know from xp.
Your game is the finisher.
[deleted]
8380atgmaildotcom 5y ago
But game is fucking easy when you're going down the mountain instead of climbing up it.
The fluctuations are super apparent. If I'm looking even half decent I just sit there and don't do anything and girls are always trying to open. If I'm looking like a fat flub then no shot.
I'm super quiet introvert that only talks when he needs to talk or when he's drunk but when a girl is into you then you don't have to do any of the talking they'll do it for you. You just have to pretend to listen.
empatheticapathetic 5y ago
That’s only one subsection of girls.
odaklanan_insan 5y ago
Working on your looks is one of the red pill basics. No one's telling you to ignore that, by only developing your game.
However, the hopeless mentality of putting all the blame on your looks and giving up on your game is not welcome here. That's what incels do.
If we are talking about which one comes first; they'll greet you by your looks and remember you by your personality.
You can get their interests with a charming face or a nice body, but what gets their panties wet is your approach.
Onein1024th 5y ago
Dude, that's awesome. I'm not nearly jacked enough to pull like that. A little game and you could crush it like no other
Vikingcel 5y ago
Being realistic > being delusionally optimistic
Oh yeah, we all did. It's just that neither of those guys are on TRP to provide us first-hand material to learn from.
odaklanan_insan 5y ago
I'm gonna write a post on this topic this weekend, describing how your game is the weapon that you hold in your hand. your physique only helps you in the combat, but without your weapon and combat skills, that's insufficient.
[deleted]
[deleted] 5y ago
[deleted]
Onein1024th 5y ago
Tell your story, write a post. The "doesn't matter if you're hot" crowd needs to hear it.
Congrats on the looks, I'm not a 10 but I'm a 6, could be 7 or 8 if I weren't so skinny (im working on that obviously). Good on you quitting videogames/pot. You've got all this free time, do something with it! Live a life that makes you the best version
With the right attitude and game and charisma you could slay, especially in Vegas!
[deleted]
[deleted]
Vikingcel 5y ago
I have gained 50 lbs since I started working out.
Onein1024th 5y ago
OP started at 140lbs so that 30 lbs doesn't mean much
strikethrough123 5y ago
The higher your SMV, the less game you need. Game and SMV are not the same, but game can alter the perception of your SMV. No matter how good your game is, you will have to try harder than someone who has higher SMV.
I agree that you should always strive to strengthen your frame by going out of your comfort zone, but you should also know that other people will always react based on their initial interpretation of your SMV.
Onein1024th 5y ago
so go lift, don't complain to me about it
sir_goblington 5y ago
SMV trumps anything you can say (game, social skills). High SMV you could be a blithering inept asshole and still pull more then the average guy with average social skills/game. SMV is what gives the perception of having good social skills or game.
Do you mean the carrots as arrows or greater/lesser signs?
[deleted] 5y ago
[--removed--]
Onein1024th 5y ago
I meant them as arrows. Edited for clarity.
Obviously hit the gym. But being shy will only limit your potential even if you look like a Greek god
papunigga031 5y ago
Yep.
It’s funny, when I bulk I become fat around the face which makes me look like a retarded chipmunk.
The difference in how people treat me when I’m cut vs when I’m bulked is crazy.
People will go out their way to do favors for you when you’re attractive. Everything you say is funny or charming when you’re attractive. You can get away with anything when you’re attractive.
When you’re unattractive, it’s the opposite.
Be attractive.
MinistryOfTruth_ 5y ago
can confirm, from same experience. clothes also make a HUGE difference, though if you are fit and hot shit clothes don't matter.
[deleted]
omega_dawg93 5y ago
I'm from New Orleans, Louisiana and everybody talks to everybody.
people here strike up conversations with anyone anywhere and just start talking mainly about the saints and the weather and where you went to high school.
think opposite of NYC. girls down here are very open to casual talk. your game has to be even tighter here.
Onein1024th 5y ago
and this is an intro post. To tighten up past that, start passing shit tests, Agree and Amplify, Amused Mastery, pressure flip/challenge.
I've barely scratched the surface
Auvergnat 5y ago
Boring conversation is boring. Interesting conversation is interesting.
The only difference between the "charming extrovert with great people skills" and the "annoying nerd" are people skills.
mrmaldoror 5y ago
Don't agree with this sentiment.
People skills are a part of SMV.
Also great job OP, already pretty good myself but I think they are great tips for beginners. "yes and" was a big game changer for me.
massivewang 5y ago
If you’re the annoying nerd and you’ve redpilled then this potentially is a part of your process of overcoming your deficiencies. What’s the mantra that’s constantly repeated here?
“Don’t wish it was easier, wish you were better.”
One of the most frustrating and challenging parts of redpilling is realizing that it may take you YEARS to overcome your issues. Simultaneously it is one of the most inspiring/hopeful aspects as well because you eventually will overcome them if you’re consistent.
In the beginning I was:
Seven years later:
It takes time, but it’s worth it and it works. The anger phase subsides. You go from 0 pull ups to sets of 10. You start noticing women checking you out. You find the confidence to approach and succeed with women you never thought you’d have a chance with. You realize that you’re more competent and capable than 90% of corporate america. Etc.
strikethrough123 5y ago
This is my point. Improve your SMV and then you don’t even have to try. Being able to hold a simple conversation and escalating will be enough.
AUTOMAG 5y ago
I always hear that people love to talk about themselves and like divulging information. I find this so hard to believe. I hate talking about myself and dislike questions directed to me personally from someone I don’t know. I guess I miss out on a lot of opportunities because I walk around assuming everyone feels the same way I do.
thewrecker8 5y ago
Pay close attention to even people you know. Most times when someone is talking about something most people will try and turn the conversation into THEM. Someone is telling a story and another person says "I hate that, I had that happen to me once...." and left thing you know they're telling something about them. Someone at work just got back from vacation. Another co worker is talking about how THEY went there and how it was for them. Or they talk about where they went last year. Most people love to talk and hate to listen. They'll ramble on about themselves for as long as anyone will listen instead of the opposite. Remember the saying you have two ears and one mouth for a reason you should listen twice as much as you speak. Get people talking about themselves and you'll learn a ton.
TFWnoLTR 5y ago
Practice talking about yourself.
I know that's not what you're getting at with this, but you should try. If you learn to talk about yourself a little more, you'll start seeing what kind of topics make for good conversation and what kind of things feel like an interview.
I say this as someone struggling to gain conversation skills myself, but I did once feel as you feel and I eventually learned I enjoy talking about myself when I manage to make myself sound interesting. And from that I'm learning how to direct others towards that same line of thought that gets you talking and talking about yourself.
Think about what kinds of things you are passionate about. For me its aerospace, or at least that's my go to with women. I talk about something super nerdy, but because I'm passionate about it and sound smart doing it I kid you not, some women eat it up, even if they dont understand a fucking thing I'm saying.
Just remember: it's not so much the topic of conversation as it is the energy you bring to it.
empatheticapathetic 5y ago
I am awful at this and no one ever wants to hear what I have to say, so I don’t try to improve it very much. No idea how to get past this as it’s a huge hurdle in my game and general personality. (I’m talking about strangers, not friends.)
papunigga031 5y ago
So be a listener. It’s much more beneficial for you if you’re a listener instead of a talker.
You never look like a fool and you gather tons of information about others.
Plus it makes you more likable.
Just don’t be a tampon. Don’t let people waste your time.
VirgilCaine_ 5y ago
How does one avoid being a tampon? I'm good at listening but i often find myself trapped in conversations cuz I don't want to be rude.
papunigga031 5y ago
Continue to meet your priorities regardless of external influence. So if you were going to do something in the first place, do it, regardless of the conversation.
This is how you hold frame. Make people enter your reality/chase you, not the other way around.
Onein1024th 5y ago
depends on the question. Probing interview questions are weird.
Hey, I've been thinking about getting a bright green mohawk, what do you think?
That's playful, fun, and a chance to give your opinion
sadomasochrist 5y ago
Try it out, it'll blow your mind.
Irtotallynotrobot 5y ago
Thanks for this. It's s good reminder of how much I have yet to learn.
[deleted]
[deleted]
warfarinrx 5y ago
Solid post. It’s scary these days just how many people are so deeply plugged in via smartphones / social media. They are not literal NPC’s in the liberal sense of it, but so many are as you said sleep walking through life. Don’t be an NPC! Be the main character in your life.
Side note: Never underestimate yourself. In this day in age your a LOT more than you think. Even just being able to ride a skateboard means you have a shit ton more coordination than a lot of people out there. Not mentioning the 2/3’s of our population that can’t get on the board without snapping it. Ignore those that attempt to bring you down due to their own piss poor self-image. Enjoy yourself always and be comfortable wherever you go.
vicvyper04 5y ago
Solid post, just what I needed to read ???????? thanks!
bestsparkyalive 5y ago
Dang. What a great post man. I struggle a lot with moving up past that quiet anxious vibe. Some days my physical frame helps me but others people can just sense it. And they stay the fuck away lol. Tough challenges to overcome. But this post is killer. Some real good applicable knowledge
Onein1024th 5y ago
you can do it. I used to be a regular Sheldon Cooper. Long road from there to here.
Take all the small opportunities to acclimate yourself to this new reality. YOU are now a chatty guy. Talk about the weather with the person behind you in line at the grocery store. Don't let an opportunity pass to say Hey or Nice Jacket or Crazy Weather Lately, Right? or This Song Makes Me Want to Dance But I'll Spare You. The calmer you can get while doing this, the better the responses.
THEN, you can chat up girls at the bar with whatever dumb bullshit comes into your head. Take them being polite as a win for now. Maybe even a good conversation. Someday, you'll use intermediate techniques to get numbers.
SMALL WINS give you the baby steps you need. Just keep pushing that comfort zone. Comfort = stagnation = death
GlobalAsshat 5y ago
Nah, I just farted is all. Stunk of half the bar. Some guy almost punched me in the face for it. Apparently I "disrespected" him and/or his woman. Another was laughing.
Another time I was peppering up the natural food aisle at the grocery store with my stink bombs as I was looking at protein powders. It didn't go over too well.
CamQTR 5y ago
Simethicone (gas-x) helps. It basically breaks the big gas bubbles into little ones, so you might let some little farts, but not the big stinkers that point you out in a public place. I know, because I have had terrible farts since around 1982 after eating some curry in a vegetarian restaurant. I ain't never been the same.
GlobalAsshat 5y ago
Nice but I was just trying to be funny. My farts are a way to show off my dominance.
CamQTR 5y ago
hahahaha for me it's a real problem, but still funny!
chewis 5y ago
I am glad you mentioned Joe Rogan. I see him referenced on here a lot, and I think he is a fantastic red pill example
[deleted]
GanjaAllDay 5y ago
Well written man, looking forward to more of your posts!
novalentineforyou 5y ago
I do my best to talk to strangers around me and learn about them. Most of the time it's not too exciting, but occasionally you will meet someone who (if you really listen to them) will tell you the most damned interesting things ever. A few weeks ago I talked to one guy who had been homeless for ten years of his life and for the past two years had finally been able to hold a job and pay rent. He was really interesting. A couple weeks ago I talked to a guy who was the best dancer I had ever seen. He started telling me about what it was like to grow up in Hong Kong and what the dance scene is like in Seattle. I would highly recommend talking to people wherever you are even if they aren't someone you are sexually interested in because it's a really rewarding experience.
[deleted] 5y ago
[deleted]
DouglasPR 5y ago
In my country women do cosmetic surgery left and right, even for minor "imperfections" that no one notices. If they can enhance their bodies, why cant we fix our hulls too?
ZachMeadows 5y ago
It's sad that a minor difference suddenly turns into a curse because you can't deal with it... God it's depressing.
You wanna know how great players stand out ? Being able to win no matter the cards dealt. Or at least put up a good show.
I have so much against me it's almost comical, yet I have some stories that my friends barely believe...
Sure being handsome help, to some extent. But being able to pull girls despite your so-called curse is what it's all about.
Or you can keep whining about genetics. More for me.
zhadyx 5y ago
If someone is deemed unattractive, no matter what action he may take, he will have a difficult road unless he’s extremely gifted in the aspect of game/frame. Physical appearance goes a long way when it comes to benefits and generally how society treats you.
I’m wondering if it’s worth investing in a surgery that will cost around 20,000$ that will play a big part to physical appearance that will hurt short term but help in the long run.
ZachMeadows 5y ago
I agree that someone ugly will have a tough life. Even to find a job, beautiful people have more opportunities.
My remark was more about what is a cursed chin ? And if you start like that, what about your ears, your nose or your hairline...
It will cost thousands or dollars for what ? Having access to slightly better pussy ? And even then, having no game will be a deal breaker.
It's not able vs disable person, more like local vs national league. You can still enjoy a good game, but better stay at your level to improve and then tackle more challenging opportunities.
Plus it's all subjective, some features are good looking, but for some girls, it's not that important.
And let's not forget she don't get to see your face when you doggy style her.
RightHandWolf 5y ago
It's not able vs disable person, more like local vs national league.
This is an important point, but I'd take it further. Most of the newbies are probably Little League bench warmers, or at least they see themselves that way. After taking the pill, they start to apply themselves. They hustle a little harder in Spring Training and spend a little extra time at batting practice, and suddenly they're off the bench and getting some playing time.
After a couple of years of working on the fundamentals, they start getting write-ups in the paper and there's a little buzz about making All-Conference or maybe even All-American if they really do the work. If they keep pushing the limits of what they think they can do, eventually they break the limits of what they can actually do. They start making the playoffs. Maybe even get a shot in the World Series. Guys like Rollo are like the New York Yankees, where they don't have enough fingers and toes to be able to wear all the World Series rings in their collection.
Onein1024th 5y ago
Are you lifting?
Don't sell your car to fix your insecurities. Only do it if it is the obvious next step for you. In that case, if it's what you want to do, go for it.
But have basic frame/game and be able to bench/squat/deadlift your own bodyweight
cupshadow 5y ago
Elder game is one of the most fascinating concepts I have learned, Roosh is really the king for coming up with such an idea. Funny enough, I tried it with a girl at a bus stop and all of a sudden she told me several things about herself. You may find some woman who will look at you with disgust but most of them will try to be nice at least.
Onein1024th 5y ago
That's where it gets fun because those divulged details can become the next topic of conversation if you deem it a good enough topic to ask
ExDota2Player 5y ago
I used to have social anxiety, I was afraid of people because I never talked to the average stranger. As I talked more, the fear went away slowly. I used to think I was being judged or there were people laughing at me. But striking up a convo here and there sort of cured me.
Stoicjaguar 5y ago
This put a smile on my face, loved it. This is why I love TRP it improves you. Also more resources , we need more Stuff to learn . Like the art of charm podcasts. Give us more O wise one.
Mellow__Martian 5y ago
What a fucking good post.
I used to have a bit of approach anxiety. I just started talking to random strangers because fuck it, chances are I'll never see them again. Even just saying a simple hello to people walking past on the street. Worked wonders for my self confidence and my approach anxiety is pretty much gone.
Real good post mate.
JessiCringes 5y ago
Wow, there was a time when being self conscious was a good thing. But now it's a bad thing huh. Why can't you be self conscious and be easy going at the same time? The problem with self consciousness is it's a double edged sword. And people think "If only I didn't give a fuck" But if you didn't give a fuck then you wouldn't be trying so hard to be super "social".
Also, I have never in my life gotten uncomfortable from anyone sitting quietly in the corner, and nervous/anxious vibes actually somehow make me more energetic. You guys seem to have this image of what you should be "Super social and outgoing" and what's the worst thing on earth "Not social" lol. Honestly I think this kind of view of the world creates anxiety and depression.
Could you maybe imagine the kind of person who isn't anxious, but isn't trying to strike up conversations with people all the time? Or isn't striving as hard as he can to become the image he has in his head of what a correct man should look like and act like? A man who is comfortable being himself and is truly a self made man?
This post like many others on here over complicate life which should be a lot simpler.
INNASKILLZ2K18 5y ago
Someone who agrees with how I feel. Not knocking the OP. If it works for you, and you enjoy it, then power and respect to you.
I don't see why it has to be black and white. OP makes it sounds like you're either an outgoing, social, talk to everyone kinda guy, or you're a 'self conscious and anxious', uncomfortable introvert.
For myself, I'm a quite guy. Not anxious, or lack confidence or anything of that nature. If I want to talk to you, I will, and I have no trouble having conversations with strangers and people I haven't really talked to before.
In general, though, I'm just comfortable in my own skin. If I acknowledge someone, or they me, I don't feel a need to suddenly strike up some random conversation, just so I can prove to myself I'm social.
I honestly don't think that's a drawback, or a need to worry that 'I won't be social enough for women, and my smv will be shit and yadda yadda'.
I don't see the need for fluff, in my life. Shit that really doesn't matter, or mean anything. Striking up a conversation about my phone, and finding out what shit someone likes to do with their phone camera, and how the convo leads to them telling me about how they one day took a photo of their daughter having a three headed baby...is pointless. Where do those things get me, or them?
This stuff might be good for social anxiety or approach anxiety, but I don't see a greatly significant reason to consciously strike up conversation with everyone beyond that. IMO, there is a neediness behind it. Why do you feel the need to have people think you're social?
Dancing monkeys?
If you need to consistently talk to everyone, to be prepared for when an attractive lady crosses your path, there is something deeper in your self esteem and self trust to work on.
The reason I'm hilarious with my mates, is because they are people I see consistently. Their relationship is of high value in my life. I share all sorts of things with them, and humour is just something great between friends.
Why I am not tying to be hilarious with strangers is well, because they don't greatly matter in the scheme of things.
I agree talking to people is a great help if you're tackling certain obstacles within yourself. The act in itself though, isn't of any great benefit past that. If you're not over exerting an attempt to be 'social' with everyone, though, it definitely is NOT necessarily for the reasons OP has stated. Reads more like projecting.
​