Most of you are not ready for LTRs.
That's right.
Go to AskTRP and it seems like half the questions are about problems they are having with their LTRs.
In my opinion, LTRs are somewhat of the final boss of TRP. Similar to the final boss of an RPG video game. What do you need to defeat the final boss in an RPG? A ton of experience in various facets. Fighting the final boss in an RPG without the needed experience will result in a crushing defeat, and LTRs are no exception.
What do I define as a successful LTR? A successful LTR isn't one that lasts. A successful LTR is one in which the man holds frame and does not become a doormat over the duration of the relationship. The problem is so many men are so thirsty and so invested in their LTR, that they make sacrifices and compromises, and turn into a doormat for the woman to walk all over him, just in an attempt to keep her happy. Yeah, the relationship may continue, but at what cost? A lot of the AskTRP posts, sadly, have this dynamic, even if they don't outright say it.
I think the LTR failures I see in the TRP community are rooted in 2 core issues.
-
One, is when the man is in an LTR before being red pilled, then becomes red pilled, and tries to retroactively shoehorn red pill principles into his existing LTR. This is a recipe for failure, because you have already poisoned the well with your non red pilled behavior in the LTR prior to being red pilled. Any attempts at injecting red pilled principles into the LTR will be met with resistance, because it will come across as fake and try hard. Chances are the LTR is already a lost cause because you already are a doormat, and she doesn't respect you. Once you are a doormat, there is no undoing it. If you are in an LTR and them stumble onto TRP, terminate the LTR. You can't undo the blue pilled behavior that has put you in a position of permanent weakness. A red pilled LTR can only succeed when its red pilled from the beginning.
- Two, is when the man becomes red pilled, then tries to use his new red pill knowledge to immediately jump into an LTR right off the bat, instead of playing the field, spinning plates, and generating abundance. This is also a recipe for failure, because as I pointed out in the intro, its like going straight to the final boss in a video game without working your way up to it. You aren't experienced enough, you aren't equipped enough, you're going to lose. I believe men who get red pilled and immediately try to jump into an LTR with the first girl they see is almost always done out of a lack of abundance, lack of knowledge, and oneitis.
I am a firm believer in the 25/25/25 rule when it comes to LTRs.
-
At least 25 months(2 years) of being red pilled. Minimum.
-
You are at least 25 years old
- You have banged at least 25 different women.
If you meet these 3 criteria, you might be ready for an LTR. If you don't? Do what you want. But you are setting yourself up for eventual failure. Don't come crying here when shit hits the fan.
The 2 year minimum rule is important. My grasp of TRP knowledge 2 months after being red pilled in 2014 was different from my grasp of TRP knowledge in 2015 a year after, and in 2016 two years after, and in 2017 three years after, and so on. You are constantly learning and gaining knew knowledge. 5 years in for me and I still learn new things.
The 25 year old requirement is self explanatory. You shouldn't be committing to a woman at a young age, play the field. Don't restrict yourself. Also, maturity. Women will respect an older man more, you are at a disadvantage trying to make an LTR work at a young age.
The 25 n-count requirement I think is the most important and is non negotiable. When you have fucked a lot of women, you learn an important virtue - women ain't shit, and no one woman is special. You learn that all women have downsides, and things about them that are not appealing. It helps you not put women on a pedestal. It helps you learn the true nature of women. And it allows you to know what you want. How would you know vanilla is your favorite flavor of ice cream, if you have never eaten chocolate or strawberry? Why would you commit to an LTR in a woman when you haven't sampled the field and you don't know exactly what you want in a long term relationship?
The 25 n count rule is important mostly because it teaches you abundance. Abundance is the core, central tenet to living a red pilled life. If you haven't experienced abundance, you are not truly a red pilled man. Abundance unlocks red pill nirvana and allows you to see things much more clearly. I think the abundance right of passage is when you have repeat sex with 3 different women in the span of a week. AKA, you fuck 3 women you have already fucked before in the span of a week. That's when you earn your abundance merit badge. I do not see how a "red pilled" man can have a successful LTR when he has not experienced a period of abundance in his sex life. Having a harem of women who will have sex with you at your whim is an antidote to pedestalizing one woman.
Once you are mature enough, once you are wise enough, once you are experienced enough, and once you have successfully experienced abundance, then you might be ready for an LTR. But, its not easy. I attempted my first red pill LTR about 4 years in. It was not easy. I couldn't imagine attempting it without the necessary experience or wisdom needed. I almost certainly would have become a doormat.
The most challenging part of an LTR is even if you do everything right - keep up a good appearance, take care of yourself, eat right, hold frame, run dread, and all of that - the woman is always going to be attempting to gain the upper hand in the relationship. You will deal with a non stop barrage of shit tests, comfort tests, whining, and nagging. In order to navigate these seas, you need the following arrows in your quiver:
-
The notion that this woman is not special and is replaceable. Most men fail here because they LTR'ed her out of oneitis, so she has been pedestalized past the point of no return in his mind. Avoiding oneitis is a hell lot easier said than done and requires extensive experience, seasoning and willpower.
-
The willingness to put your foot down and say no. Most men fail here because they are afraid if they make her mad she will leave, due to their lack of abundance and options. Since she represents 100% of his supply of pussy, its either be a doormat, or she leaves.
-
The will to walk away. Most men say they are willing to walk, but how many would actually follow through with it if needed? Women are in tune creatures, they can sense when a men is so invested he would never walk away from the relationship. They know. And they will use that to their advantage. Man -> Doormat
- The perfect balance of dread game. Dread game is a tricky subject because too much dread is just as much of a thing as too little dread. Too much dread, or dread that is too obvious and not subtle enough, will lead to a wave of comfort tests that you will ultimately end up being tripped up by. Dread game is a learned skill. The best dread game is subtle and not blatant. Dread is implied. If you are actively trying to "dread" her, you are trying too hard and being too obvious.
If you can successfully arm yourself with those 4 things, your LTR might have a shot at success. But the issue with those 4 things, is that they are all learned weapons via experience outside of LTRs. You can not just read about them and apply them and expect to have them work for you right off the bat.
That's my write up on LTRs. No doubt AskTRP will continue to be flooded with LTR questions from men who aren't ready for them. And no doubt this post will be replied to from guys thinking their situation is special, their unicorn is special, this doesn't apply to them, and they know better. That's fine. Like I said, this isn't a rule or requirement, do what you want. I'm just trying to help you all understand what it truly takes to have a successful red pilled LTR. If you want your LTR to work for you, and not be a constant source of agony and stress and disappointment, it might be best to adhere to my advice. Don't come crying to me or AskTRP when you ignore it all thinking you know better and then your LTR train runs off the tracks, crashes and burns.
BloodColdRed 5y ago
I like to think I got something out of the year wasted in my LTR (just got out), but it was very little if anything. I was this exact guy posting in AskTRP and an endorsed contributor said this exact thing to me, "You are not ready for an LTR." I believed him, honestly I did, but I went through with it anyways because I wanted to fuck her a lot and it was fun. But here were the results:
I literally felt like I couldn't do anything. I had no motivation, no discipline, and didn't pursue my goals. The opportunity cost of being in that relationship was more money than you could imagine.
I may never be able to be in an LTR because pussy is still important to me and it makes me so weak when I have it 24/7.
BlueEstee 5y ago
While I agree with your claim that the majority of people here are not ready for an LTR, I don't agree with your 25/25/25 rule.
It feels like you just chose an arbitrary number that would look good when wrote three times next to each other.
25 months - some people are so traumatized, socially awkward and damaged it might take years for them to fix themselves. Some are naturally alpha and just need a bit of polishing up their social skills, or focusing on lifting and being dominant.
25 years - while I agree that the older you are the more respect you get, some men due to life circumstances can be more mature at age 20 than a 40 year old guy who's lived his whole life in his mom's basement
25 women - true, you can't claim you've seen it all when you've only had sex with 3 girls. But again, some people need to fuck 10 women to get a feeling of abundance, some need 50.
The main point is: you need time to learn how to be a man. You need time to become mature and to become good with women. But people are different so don't let anyone else decide for you when you're ready.
Just be honest with yourself, because deep down you know whether you've caught oneitis or not.
namethisbooty 5y ago
jumping into a LTR can be extremely useful for inexperienced men ; it was so for me!
volvostupidshit 5y ago
Sometimes we need to experience it in order to get it.
FearGarbhArMait 5y ago
I was with you when you said the community isn't ready for LTR. Then you lost me when you said you shouldn't compromise. Healthy pairbonding involves being dependable on eachother, which inturn means making compromises.
There are 3 people in a relationship, you, the woman and the union between you two. Your claim is giving her all the power is bad, which I agree with you. However the polar opposite knee jerk reaction of constant ultimatium thinking is very unhealthy. You have to take care of youtself, take a little care of her and spend energy on the union of you two, to be healthy.
RStonePT 5y ago
She goes first, because she has to.
Healthy isn't two equals. Healthy is a good woman on best behaviour doing her best to keep a man happy before he moves on, and him sending his overflowing happiness onto her
reversec 5y ago
masturbate before doing something shit.
max_peenor 5y ago
Ug. I need a tampon after reading that.
In any relationship, there is the dominant partner and the submissive partner. In a void, women will feign dominance with outrageous and/or childish behavior, thus prompting the man to try and fix things. You can skip past all this bullshit by maintain the dominant position yourself.
SeasonedRP 5y ago
I read it as advising to avoid compromises that lead you to becoming a doormat and not as literally advising never to compromise on anything. Compromising on minor things is not big deal. The men he is speaking to are so desperate to have an LTR that they compromise on major things and tolerate behavior that causes the woman to view them as weak and lacking in self respect. He isn't saying to go around issuing ultimatums over minor everyday occurrences. Also, I think it is important for men newer to RP to err on the side of avoiding LTRs instead of getting into/maintaining LTRs. Having an LTR shouldn't be the goal for these men. If he follows RP principles and one happens, great, but these men should be neutral about getting into one. They shouldn't selectively follow RP and discard key teachings in the desperate hope that it will help get into an LTR. LTRs are very difficult to maintain even for men who are natural at this or who have absorbed this for many years.
Imperator_Red 5y ago
Dude, come on...
Psychological_Radish 5y ago
How is this getting so may upvotes? Mallard didn't say you should never compromise. You're talking out of your ass.
BlindingTwilight 5y ago
“There are three people in a relationship, you, the woman and the union between you two.”
This made me throw up in my mouth. This is one of the most blue pill things that has been said in here without a ban being issued. The fact that this blue pill nauseating comment is being upvoted shows that most guys here are not ready for a relationship, exactly as OP stated.
EgocentricMegaloMan 5y ago
Relax man, he’s just regurgitating what his couples counselor told him after the last time I filled up his old lady in a portashitter
mattizie 5y ago
How is this comment the most upvoted one on this thread? Fuck this place has gone downhill. trp.red when?
Imperator_Red 5y ago
Yea it's really bad.
mallardcove Endorsed Contributor 5y ago
This reads like something I would see on the relationships sub
I see this example used all the time, but a successful LTR is when the man is the captain and the woman is the first mate.
Obviously a dynamic when the man holds 100% of the power is unrealistic and unsustainable, but the man is the one who holds the power and leverage in a successful relationship. When the man starts ceding power and leverage to the woman, that's when things go south, because she is not going to be satisfied until she has total control and leverage. The man slowly leaks more and more power away and then all of a sudden he is a doormat. That's why its best to establish firm power and leverage boundaries from the start.
This is why marriage is such a raw deal for men. Because his greatest weapon, the ability to walk away, is taken away. But the women holds onto her greatest weapon, her vagina. It creates a power imbalance of the woman rationing her vagina and only allowing access to it when certain conditions are met, and these conditions always seem to get more and more steep. This leads to dead bedrooms.
The "equal balance" notion to a healthy LTR is total bunk. The only way both parties can be happy is when the man has the upper hand. A woman is unhappy when she has the leverage, because in order to gain leverage, she has to turn the man into a weak beta bitch, which causes her to lose attraction. Maintain power, maintain frame, pass the comfort tests, treat her every now and then.
[deleted]
Imperator_Red 5y ago
And it has 40+ upvotes. I think shows how many men on TRP are reading the words on the page and think that some of it sounds good, but are ultimately stuck in the blue pill mindset and are not really internalizing the core message.
8380atgmaildotcom 5y ago
Reading the comments and how the OP has a bunch of upvotes is proof we need Endorsed Contributors.
Everyone wants to use redpill to fuilfill bluepill dreams
mallardcove Endorsed Contributor 5y ago
Instant gratification is the problem
I would say that most men come to TRP because they had or are having problems with their oneitis and are looking for help
So they swallow the pill, but instead just try and apply it as a quick fix to their oneitis.
Not enough men who come here realize TRP is a slow burn and a long process.
8380atgmaildotcom 5y ago
The pain and depression are not worth baring for many. I red TRM ~20 months ago and I still find myself slipping into blue pill land all the time. Sometimes you just don't want to believe it and it's easy to take the "good" from the sidebar and have moderate success before facing the "bad" (In reality there isn't a good or bad there just "is")
FearGarbhArMait 5y ago
This is 100% true. Seeing the world as accurately as it is, is difficult. Our ideas and soceital constructs shield us from inconvenient truths.
TheRedPillRipper 5y ago
It's not just men. It's everywhere. Instant gratification. Pinging the Amygdala constantly. People are evolving to reciprocate digitally in place of reality.
Life is a slow burn but only if you're fired up for it. Everyone else is just burning out.
awakenedspirit1 5y ago
100%. This is a fantastic elucidation of a red pill LTR
FearGarbhArMait 5y ago
I agree that a man should lead but to give the advice that you should hold all the cards all the time, is ridiculous. It's bad advice for 99% of this sub who will do the extreme. There's people here making post because they have approach anxiety and they keep reading about frame and relationships instead of conquering their fear.
A man doesn't have to hold all the power or even all of the cards. He just has to keep course, be the rock. Constantly dreading, constant ultimatiums and constant polarizing behavior is going to cost some unlucky sap a relationship they may be interested in.
SomeCleverMoniker 5y ago
I'm pretty sure mallardcove gave very specific instructions on a minimum of cards you need to hold in your hand, he never said you should hold all of the cards. Women are way way more natural at card games than men and if you play with them without knowing what you're doing they'll trample you. Luckily, this is also their greatest weakness, since they mostly lack the ability to get even better at the game.
good-look 5y ago
You’re scared of an autist taking op’s advice over the edge. Better for TRP advice to have a few autists going extreme rather than having a mass amount of well-intentioned men turning into beta cucks. That shits for the relationships sub.
FearGarbhArMait 5y ago
Every response so far has had an idea and a purpose. This is just an echo chamber response. Please come back with a well intentioned comment.
jamesistheman7 5y ago
This is the redpill community, men should have MOST of the power if not all. It's in female nature to seek a protector, and someone who is better than herself in terms of intelligence and resources. So men should defintely hold most of the power in a relationship because men are meant to lead relationships.
FearGarbhArMait 5y ago
I agree with that but this is an unhealthy extreme.
That is VERY unhealthy. Understand that everything here is a tool from a box. Non of this is a philosophy. Stop treating it as a philosophy, you're gonna have a bad time.
I recommend reading up on the psychology of trust, pairbonding and relationships. You can have a healthy relationship, where she doesn't cheat and walk all over you without keeping her in a constant state of fear.
TRP is very useful for encouraging men to take care of themselves and be better, it is also useful for initial attraction. It is nothing but dogshit for LTRs.
Imperator_Red 5y ago
100% incorrect. Willingness to walk away and constant dread are the only ways to have a relationship in 2019. Women are hard wired to seek strong, competent men with many options. This is a matter of life and death for her subconscious evolutionary brain. The very fact that you can walk away is what makes you attractive to her. I've had relationships where the woman knew that I was never going to walk and I've had relationships where she knew I could walk at any second. Guess which ones were healthier. Guess which ones I actually had better "pair bonding" as you keep bringing up.
By telling men not to apply dread and not to be ready to walk away, you are telling them to intentionally make themselves unattractive to women. Shame on you. The only way around this is with an ironclad contract called marriage 1.0, in which you sacrifice your right to walk away and she sacrifices her right to withhold pussy. As the state no longer enforces this contract upon women in marriage 2.0, dread is the only tool we have.
Like the other TRP LARPers you probably think that dread and willingness to walk away means being a jackass to your gf or directly communicating to her that you'll bail if she pisses you off, which it of course is not. The truly fucked up thing is that you are saying that this is unhealthy, but we all apply this standard to any relationship in our lives (other than blood relatives). If my friends aren't meeting my needs, I walk away. If my job starts abusing me, I walk away. Yet I'm supposed to apply Disney rules to my LTR with a woman? Lol GTFO.
How does being dependable mean making compromises? It doesn't. They literally have nothing to do with one another. Dependable means trustworthy and reliable. Compromising means settling a dispute by mutual concession. I'm still scratching my head trying to see the connection you make between these two completely unrelated concepts.
max_peenor 5y ago
In what way? Does it cause your blood pressure to be high?
No woman is a port in a storm. You will not a find a safe harbor; you are supposed to be her safe harbor. Your preparedness has little to do with her state. If she knows these things, she will feel safer with you, not live in fear. She knows you are a rock. She knows you will defend your prerogatives. She knows you won't get pushed around. These are the things that keep her by your side, because she knows these things keep her safe from other threats, as long as she behaves.
Men live in this state from the moment they hit puberty. And it often does raise their blood pressure.
SeamusAwl 5y ago
It should be more along these lines:
Be willing to leave
Maintain the appropriate dread levels
Always have the plan and make the decisions. (This doesnt mean you dont consider them in your decision making)
[deleted]
Spicychickenaholic 5y ago
Somebody wants to LARP TRP but still go home to his loving monogamous wife. OP posted the minimum requirements for TRP. Facts don't care about your feelings. You wanting to have some committed LTR doesn't change that.
It's also not "extreme". Anything less than that is not TRP. You don't give someone heart surgery by rubbing their chest. It's like that way for a reason.
8380atgmaildotcom 5y ago
Homie needs to listen to patrice
largepaycheckaddict 5y ago
When it comes to the 25 n-count rule..
What do you suggest to red pill guys who may be morally against having sex with just any woman? Mine is around 16 or 17 chicks.. more if you include only BJs.. but at this day and age in my life I’m happy I don’t have any STDs and want to keep my body that way.
That being said, I feel like I’ve reached that plateau where I’ve had enough Shenanigans and sexual kicks where women really aren’t shit to me even if she fucks good. I can walk away if need be.
mallardcove Endorsed Contributor 5y ago
25 isn't a hard rule. It's just a number used to illustrate the concept of abundance and playing the field. I'm like you in that I don't get much satisfaction over meaningless sex anymore and its less about quantity and more about quality.
g0dfather93 5y ago
Your post prefaces the n-count requirement as "non-negotiable" (your words) and here you're saying it's not a hard rule. Eh, I don't want to argue semantics. Whatever you've said on this n-count topic and this comment, here's my take: All you want is to normalise sex as a regular, approachable activity that you've had plenty of experience in, so that you do not lose frame and act like BP moron for sex from your LTR when things get serious and the initial sparks have stopped flying. Many men make this mistake of breaking their stance in an argument or disagreement because they want the pussy at the end of day, and women are quick to learn and use it against them. If you actually do not give a damn about the sex in LTR, you can actually hold on to your principles. Basically your method is a hack towards this, and I think it should work.
THEdirtyDotterFUCKr 5y ago
I would recommend that the 25 females you bang should be AFTER you have taken the pill. (inside that 2 year period) Some males can stumble into pussy at least a half dozen times while being beta.
magx01 5y ago
Imo LTR's are always a losing battle because they are not at all reflective of human biological nature.
MatrixofLe3adership 5y ago
I would assume that to be fucking obvious because...ya know, it's the Redpill
tyronethejabrone 5y ago
If someone is red-pill aware and they are subconsciously pulling some blue-pill shit in an LTR in an attempt to make/keep female happy, it is inner game that they lack. Inner game is the key to it all. With strong inner game you won't worry about reacting accordingly, you just will. Maybe it's just my personality, but I don't think so.
Strong inner game is having your shit together. It is respecting yourself. It's valuing yourself. It's valuing your time... enough to be able to walk away. All this becomes easy if you become something that you are proud of. The red pill teaches all of this. This is what the red pill is. PUA is outer game. TRP is inner game.
I like this post. This is good general advice. But you can have a "successful" LTR being under 25, having banged less than 25 women, and being red-pill aware for under 25 months. You can also have a very unsuccessful LTR being over all those numbers.
Yes sleeping with lots of women helps... a lot... and I will always advocate experience. But it ultimately comes down to inner game. With strong inner game, outcome independence and abundance mentality are naturally attained. You need less from others. Therefore you hold more power. If you, dear reader, have yet to read The Zeroth Law of Power by u/Whisper , I highly recommend it. It is the backbone of TRP.
Verne42 5y ago
That post by u/Whisper is nothing more than the cardinal rule of relationships of Rollo Tommassi, written like 8 years ago: https://therationalmale.com/2011/08/19/the-cardinal-rule-of-relationships/ I choose to believe he either came to the same conclusions on his own, or read it, forgot it and, and reimagined it (still w/o remembering haha) Any case, great insight
RStonePT 5y ago
Nothing here is new. Everything is a retelling of a story as old as the caveman, retold with a different voice behind it.
And if you don't think that's useful, consider that a few billion people have told the story and plenty of guys still don't understand.
FearGarbhArMait 5y ago
TLDR; Love yourself, respect yourself.
tyronethejabrone 5y ago
Yes. But it is a lot easier to do that impeccably if you actually increase your value and self-worth.
[deleted] 5y ago
[deleted]
tyronethejabrone 5y ago
Self-worth is essentially self-esteem
And whether it be low self-esteem, a small dick, or some childhood issue, most bodybuilders are overcompensating for something
HBenedek38 5y ago
You're a fucking idiot.
The average number of lifetime sexual partners is around 9-10. By your logic most people would never enter a LTR, not to mention if you don't have a crack at a LTR before 25, you'll have a hard time.being in one.
You're a goddamn idiot.
Agnael 5y ago
Such a butthurt comment
The whole point of TRP is about getting above average results in any field, by improving yourself to be an above average person
Rapp5601 5y ago
I just want to say thank you for this post, I definitely feel into the category of guys asking stupid LTR questions in asktrp. It's been a goal of mine from the time I was blue pilled to be married by 25. Your post didn't change my mind on wanting to be married young, but I definitely will take your advice on at least 2 years of red pill knowledge and 25 notches. My question is if an LTR is the final level in a video game, then what are the previous levels in order? I just want to know so I dont go screwing around.
rus9384 5y ago
IMO and IME LTR are not the boss for many guys at all. I wish to have some close FWB, but I never really wanted monogamous relationship. I think I'm not unicorn here.
Whether it's about experience... not sure.
Zech4riah 5y ago
This sentence (among some others) sets the premise which states that if you are trp enough, you can make monogamy work when the fact is that no, even the most TRPd guys here fail at LTR in the end. We are not designed for monogamy and it really rarely (happily) works even if you do everything right.
So guys might just stop bullshitting and end this TRP version of the disney fantasy that you could make LTR work. They always fail in the end or at least the odds are really stacked against you no matter how red pilled you are.
But I agree on this post on "short term LTR"-wise (which means that you can make LTR work for 5-10 years if you follow the rules and fulfill the prerequisites.)
Chaddeus_Rex 5y ago
How good looking are you? For guys from poor families who cant afford to dress well or are in debt trying to attain a better career, they cant dress well. But if theyre good looking they can make it work. If not, good luck using TRP principles to get laid.
Looks is what gets u in the door, being Red is what keeps you in.
You need to have looks to get in. If u dont, u are done.
wholewheatdirtydog 5y ago
Excellent post will be saving this for reference in the future.
linkofinsanity19 5y ago
I don't remember who exactly posted it, bit it's a pretty popular one. There's a post on here about women on the beach and taking them on a boat out to sea. That perfectly laid it out for me.
Edit: Here's the post. https://www.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/9ooeft/are_we_there_yet/
GoingToMakeItBrahs 5y ago
I’d be interested in this post
ScoobySquats 5y ago
Because of the implication, right?
DownyGall 5y ago
They’re never in any danger
[deleted] 5y ago
Great post. I pass the 50/25/50 rule but willing to admit, I'm definitely not ready for an LTR.
throwlaca 5y ago
>You have banged at least 25 different women.
​
I have banged close to two hundred girls. But most of those 'dont count', you know what I mean.
[deleted]
[deleted]
tchower 5y ago
Not in an LTR currently. Still have not met the right to passage in my twenties, that’ll take hitting the gym a lot and continuing to improve on my life. Have been with some hot girls though, they all had constant drama and so I cut them all off before they could drag me down. But what you’re saying is, by the time you have failed the shit tests and you don’t have other plates ready, there’s no turning back?! Interesting.
vengefully_yours 5y ago
I'm a firm believer in not having a long term thing with a girl, sure as fuck not marriage. It's nothing but an expense, a drain on your time and resources. Sure fuck her for a few years if she is willing, because we need sex like anyone else, but fuck giving her any money or time that isn't earned, and time only if she is tagging along or naked for me.
I'm 49, I've had plenty of long term things. They all end the same way, I notice her cheating and I end it. They ask cheat, no matter what fantasy you have about them being loyal, they aren't. They ask cheat, and then blame you for it.
msammy_is_back 5y ago
My ex wife dumped me because I was a sorry ass blue pilled loser 13 years ago. Since then I have transformed my life - body mind and soul. I have a graduate degree, make well over 6 figures, ripped as fuck from being in the gym.
But, she still sees me as that over-sensitive bitch that couldn't stand up to her and always will even though I have far and away surpassed her in personal achievements and lifestyle.
To provide some further context, I didn't get to where I am being a beta bitch. In the beginning of my red pilling there was a furious eruption of anger. When you finally admit to yourself you've swallowed every lie about how a man should be and open your eyes to where it has led you its a life changing event. I stopped being a meek jokester hiding behind false pride. My wit stopped being light and ingratiating. I became dour and serious. I began to relish the opportunity to check motherfuckers that needed checking. I stopped suffering fools. I became a total fucking dick. Oh and holy shit did I ever fucking hate women - sociopath fucking cunts that I saw them to be. I stewed in that sewer pit for a little bit. OK so now what? I'm no longer blue pilled, but now I'm butthurt, frustrated, broke dick loser. I sought out counseling - carefully looking for someone who wouldn't try to coach me back into blue pill subservience. I found an older male PhD to use as sounding board along with my super conservative wealthy businessman A.A. sponsor (yeah I quit drinking too), combined the ideas and theories of each of these resources along with the A.A. big book and the TRP sidebar to formulate a different kind of monk mode. I was broken down and it was time to rebuild and the process continues over a decade later. Education, a career change, different tax brackets, refocus on fitness and many things I read and experienced in the process too numerous to mention, I am a completely different man.
None of that matters though with my ex. When the well is poisoned you can no longer drink from it.
As a matter of fact, right now she is in pretty dire straights financially, her boyfriend has no job and outside of filing for a protection order or eviction he's not going anywhere. No job, no car, she kicks him out he either lives with his elderly parents or becomes homeless. Not only that, she might lose the house I gave her in the divorce later on this year if a court decision goes against her and oh yeah she has health issues to compound things. A reintroduction into my romantic life would completely reverse the struggles she's experiencing. Her financial issues would disappear overnight, she could literally quit her job and have no worries about health insurance as mine grants access to the best care in the world.
I could fall back in love with her because she's the mother of my children and is a very beautiful woman, but I'm very sure that even if she were to take me up on the offer - she would only do it for convenience and not for love. I know how she works too, with the unemployed bf - she has total control so it works just enough not to be a completely unworkable train wreck. She likes control. Obviously, its not ideal for any woman, but it speaks volumes that she'd rather have some loser half assing mowing the lawn and doing the dishes to compensate for her health issues than be with me living in affluence never having to work another day in her life - and that's saying something. Its not that I'm some bridge troll she would recoil from in disgust, I'm still pretty easy on the eyes and there are women (some 10+ years younger) chasing me looking for LTRs at this very moment - I'm mid 40s but I have 6 pack abs and make $$$.
Last year, in a moment of dumbass oneitis "I never stopped loving her" feeling I made the offer to her and she declined. Later that night, I was hanging out with some women who were a part of a group of old friends I worked with in the prior career and I told them the offer I had made and the response that I had got. They were gobsmacked. These women, although late 30s early 40s and not bad attractive, were single and working - struggling to make it. One with a kid turning 18 who was scared to death what her life was going to be like without child support, fearing having to tell her daughter she needed to contribute to the household bills in order for them to survive. They looked at me in amazement, one even tearfully saying "OMG I wish a man loved me like that and offered that to me". Two of the women wanted to connect with me on social media and shared their numbers with me - figuring maybe they could fill that role. Including my ex-wife, I'm in a different league than these women - an opportunity with me means an entirely different way of life - shopping the hottest brands, driving a new Lexus or BMW, personal trainers, plastic surgery makeovers, a life of leisure - requiring them only to be a sweet little supportive sex kitten, but the ex-wife can't do it. Like I said before I'll always be the old me in her eyes. I blew it with her years ago.
So the way I look at it now is I offered and she refused. Child support ends next month. After that, I really don't know how she's going to make it, but that is her problem now. Me? Currently accepting orders for a trophy and I'm in no rush. In the end, I'm glad I've built my life the way I have. No frustrations and it has allowed me to set myself up, clear my conscience, and look to the future for the first time in a long time - even though that was a painful process to go through. My ex was my deepest, hardest, most profound love I've ever experienced, but I think someone once told me divorce is like taking a shit, you don't try to shove it back in your ass, you just flush and move on. After a life of sport fucking, bad relationships, a wrecked marriage, being alienated from my kids, and a whole other host of bullshit the combination of dysfunctional women and my own weakness and stupidity that made me an easy mark did for so many years, I'm finally at a point where I can pick and choose my destiny with a clear head. I think that's where any of us would want to be.
SocialObserver01 5y ago
If women ain't shit, why would you marry one?
RPSilverfox 5y ago
Something I read here a while back that really made sense to me was to live like you’re single. If you truly do this while in an LTR you will put your needs ahead of hers and this will keep her chasing you. Put your buddies, the gym, your career, your hobbies and even your dog ahead of your LTR. I am not saying to cheat but keep your game up as well approaching and flirting just like you would if you were not in an LTR.
FinanceConnoisseur 5y ago
I’ve been with 176 women (24 yo), have followed TRP for 2 years (1.5 out of those years I was dating a HB9, and TRP blew up my relationship once things clicked) and all of this rings true 1000%. I don’t think you should even bother with a relationship until you are comfortable being alone, have all your finances covered, are somewhat stable and have real abundance if you want to date the real life version of a unicorn (No such thing exists, AWALT but you can screen to find a hot, well-put together girl from a wealthy family).
The women I’ve had sexual encounters with would fill a gymnasium, and I still forget abundance mentality when I’ve isolated myself from social circles because I’m focusing on myself, as personal growth is hard and draining and fucking lonely at times.
Attempting to grow, and maintaining frame without maxing our all your attributes to the best of your ability while in a LTR? Shit is so hard It’s not fair for the woman or to yourself imo.
mallardcove Endorsed Contributor 5y ago
Growth is a big reason why the 25 month suggestion is there. It's hard to grow when you have an anchor(LTR) around your neck. Your early TRP years should be about personal growth
bitchpleasebp 5y ago
Where did you meet most the f those? I’m 24 and have had sec with 46 girls. Your number fascinated me lmao
FinanceConnoisseur 5y ago
I spent 5 years working in the service industry. Started out as a bus boy at a restaurant, worked up to server, bartender and eventually started promoting at night clubs (Better money for a guy tbh).
If you ever want to have TRP concepts to click, work in the nightlife industry. I had large groups of female friends that consistently came out to party with me 3 nights a week. After that, it was just time. And whenever one group got bored, there word of mouth had 4 other groups lining up to party. I’ve slept with everyone from bartenders, business executives, bachelorettes, bottle service girls, Instagram thots to quiet studious University girls going out for the first the time. It builds a crazy abundance mentality and makes you ridiculous comfortable around women. You are also pre-selected. It helps that in my City (Toronto), there are about half a dozen hot spots that everyone wants to go to, and being well connected gives you stupid access.
One aspect consistent across all groups is that girls just want to have fun. I don’t care who it is, they get drawn to positive energy and good vibes instantly.
And boyfriends don’t mean shit, even if they are Alpha AF because in that one moment, if she has the tingles, and you appear to be subjectively more alpha. You’ll fuck. Half the girls I’ve been with have boyfriends, some were rich. Nothing internalizes TRP like banging a HB9 in your Honda Civic only to watch her get picked up in a Porsche by her fiancé who was a big dick Realtor in my city because he was “boring”.
I also think any service job is necessary just so you can get comfortable at cold approaching.
One thing I have begun to notice after cutting ties with that circle, entering Uni is status real but it is fluid depending on the circle. I have a perfect GPA and I am very active in school clubs now but I kept to myself and lifted first year. It was harder getting the attention of super hot girls at school away from the athletes and Greek life guys. I could Score, but they disassociated themselves with me in their social circles Unless I committed to some form of exclusivity. As I established myself by second year, they have instantly flocked. Status and being established is super important to girls. It seems obvious but it was interesting to observe and why I think don’t bother with LTRs until you’re settled.
You need to be on your A game, have nightlife connections, interesting hobbies, etc. You can’t ever trust a woman fully tbh, but at least minimize your chances of her getting the tingles for someone else.
A bit of a ramble, I’m on my phone but just some thoughts.
bitchpleasebp 5y ago
Thnx for response. Most of the girls I hooked up with were from going out to bars and clubs, and only a few at uni. And I agree, you can’t trust a bitch 100%...ever. I’m currently in a relationship, funnily enough I hooked up with most of those girls while in this relationship, and although she tells me that she would never ever cheat on me or do anything bad that could jeopardize our relationship, I still don’t the trust the bitch and essentially I just pretend it’s already happening. I’m not the only dog out here, shit I can’t be lol. As I was telling another poster, I recently fucked this girl who’s in a 4 year relationship with some guy, he’s on her screensaver and her laptop background, and she says she really does love him and wanna marry him, meanwhile she’s hitting me up almost daily while we’re on campus trying to have a quickie in her car. If she can do it, so can my girl, and so can any of these other bitches. It is what it is tho lol. Like you said, they can get the tingles for someone, and that’s how easy it happens. Also, I’ve found that their friends can be very influential too. The girl I mentioned, her co worker was telling her that she should fuck me cause I’m tall and hot. And she said that that turned her on more. Influential but not necessary.
All good playa. That’s a crazy body count, Jesus
BlindingTwilight 5y ago
Agree with most of this. On top of that LTRs are a little bit like riding a bull. It is lot’s of fun but it requires great skill or you get crushed.
[deleted]
stirringlion 5y ago
This is actually a pretty bang on post - good job!
toothpickhd 5y ago
I agree completely with this. I have been red pilled for 4 years now, 70 + lays, and a little bit younger than 25. At the moment in my first LTR. You need to learn to apply dread literally forever. It will never end. You can easily get complacent if you haven't had a lot of experience with the red pill. It's work. Even being younger, I know that it makes it even harder. As someone who is younger and haven't proven himself as a success (Millionaire status), if you want to LTR a top 10% woman, you have to continually succeed to that point or she will leave you. You need to sleep with a lot of woman and gain experience. You have to be the best she has ever slept with. Every girl will tell you that. You need to be so confident you are able to do that you KNOW you are.
Howdoiusesync 5y ago
how do you do that? Focusing on yourself?
toothpickhd 5y ago
Here are my steps to fully embracing TRP and getting most out of life.
​
Step1: Yes focus on yourself. Get up and get shit done. LIFT, like holy fuck go to the fucking gym. Always be trying to make money and find good hobbies
​
Step2: I believe this part is extremely important. You need to sleep with a lot of woman. You need to learn what attracts them. The only way to do this is practice. You have to approach them in bars, learn to game them. You have to learn to last longer in bed (comes with practice), learn to make them cum, learn that for the most part women love it when you take control and are aggressive in bed. Once you can do this, and you have slept with at least 30 women, and believe you can make any woman cum and fully submit to you in bed then you are ready for the LTR.
​
Step3: Now I believe in this part, because I want kids and I want a partner in life (captain + first mate lifestyle). You know that part from Step1: "Focus on yourself"... never stop doing that. You CAN NOT become complacent. At the end of the day women are hypergamous and if they feel you have given up, well there is someone else out there who hasn't. So keep pushing yourself to make more money and be better in the gym (increase your SMV always). Always remain flirty with her and lead her. If you are happy she will be too. This is especially true if you want to hold down a 9/10 or above. My gf constantly had blue checkmarks in her DM's before I started dating her. She knows the level of guy she attracts. Can't pout about it, just gotta grind and keep her on her toes.
​
Note: If you try to enter in a LTR before you have done Steps1 and 2 you WILL fail. Hell, even if you have done steps 1 and 2 you still may. Because people get complacent, and subconsciously she will notice it.
Kalepsis 5y ago
Many of us don't want LTRs.
FearGarbhArMait 5y ago
I find men go through phases for growth and the single phase is one of them. We want to screw around, build our circle, our careers and do occasional dumb shit. Eventually though we outgrow this phase and look more for a companion.
FuzzyBeanDip 5y ago
Excellent post. Good work adding value to TRP post quarantine. It is too rare these days.
[deleted] 5y ago
[deleted]
bitchpleasebp 5y ago
Say you wanna focus on yourself and what you’re currently doing (work, school, gym) and that you feel it’s not fair to her that you wouldn’t be able to give her the time and attention she deserves.
AutoModerator 5y ago
Why are we quarantined? The admin don't want you to know.
Register on our backup site: https://www.trp.red and reserve your reddit name today.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
trey_at_fehuit 5y ago
LTR is RP principles on hard mode
DoneScannedIt 5y ago
I think my take away from RP, is that I'm not ready for an LTR. Even after 20+ years of marriage.
Cvevea3 5y ago
I'm new here, what's an LTR