Summary: OLTR Candidate slept with ex-FB and told me about it. Nuclear level shittest.
Body: A bit of a background. Since my last failed attempt on trying to verbalize and get into an official OLTR (can be found from my post history), I've been working on new girls and reached a phase with one of the girls where we are dating but we are not sexually or emotionally exclusive and I have overtly communicated that I'm seeing other girls as well. This discussion happened ~3 weeks ago (on a 4 months mark) and it went good this is probably because I learned from my mistakes. Even tho these two "talks" we are talking about here weren't at the same phase of relationship. I think that things I've tried to improve since last time helped. They were primarily:
- I screened the girls more carefully to pick a good candidate who is more likely to have an OLTR
- My early non-monogamous frame was much stronger and obvious than it was last time (dread, accidental hints about other girls, my responses to her questions about "other women")
- I gave her a lot more comfort before engaging the discussion about the fact that I'm seeing other women.
Anyway, to the actual shit test which happened yesterday. I went to her place. She was acting distant and cold (shit test element #1)right off the bat. I smelled that something was going on but proceeded like everything is normal. We had some casual talk about how our week has been while I was touching her sexually because that's what I always do at the beginning. Then it started. We had a discussion which were something like this:
She: "We should probably be just FBs" (shit test element #2) to which I responded
Me: "Ok, if that's what you want"
She: "I'm a bit confused. My old acquaintance was staying at my place when he was visiting the city and then we did this and that" (shit test element #3).
Me: "Yeah, no problem, I hope your friend liked the city" (yeah, this was only thing that came to my mind, playing stupid and assuming she was showing him places)
She: "Well he wasn't exactly a friend tho"
She: <kept babbling about she being confused and don't know what she wants and making sure that I get the point and what this friend or "acquaintance" was>
At this point I just let her do her talking and I kept petting her and grabbing her ass etc. like she were casually talking about her every day things. Needless to say that the combination of these elements hit me to some extent - after all this is a girl I was starting to care about (otherwise she would be only FB). So we have:
- She was playing cold and emotionless
- She said that we shouldn't hang out anymore - only to occasionally have sex
- She told that she has fucked someone else
I can tell that women can really hit you hard if they want but for me this was a learning experience. When she told me that she had fucked someone else (and she could have hidden it if she had wanted - she really wanted me to know) I had a moderate spike of jealousy and disappointment for around 5mins and then it faded away over the next 10 mins so I was pretty much clear after 15mins into discussion even tho she kept hammering whole this time. After this ~15min duration she then asked "Why are you so silent? What are you thinking?". I responded while grabbing her ass and tits "I want to fuck." and then we had sex and she returned to her normal state and was my good girl again for the rest of the night.
Later at night she basically called out her shit and bent totally into my frame. She told me things like:
- She was annoyed because she can't get (emotionally) further from me even tho she tries. She is emotionally attached
- She compares me to other guys and even the guys she has been attracted to before, feel like nothing.
- She started planning "our future"
-
She had been "annoyingly loyal" to me and she isn't interested on other guys
Lessons Learned and conclusions:
- As many guys who attempt open relationships know, girl who gets resentful before accepting the reality, may shit test you by fucking some other dude or two
- Doing this kind of "revenge fuck" doesn't mean that she will be running around and fucking others whole time rest of the relationship.
- Women are really great combining different shit test to build up a nuclear level shit test
- If this happens you, you will truly see how confident you really are.
- Thanks to TRP, I knew what was going on on logical level which helped a lot dealing with negative emotions
- Experiencing something like this makes a situation where a guy hits on your girl in a club feel like a walk in a park.
- It also may be that she never fucked a dude but that doesn't really matter. She wanted to see if I'm really the guy she perceives me to be.
EDIT: I decided to add this statement here because most guys can't think anything else but some other guy fucking their woman. I choose to attempt open relationship because:
- I have a desire to pair bond while fucking various women on the side.
- Monogamy doesn't work (no matter how alpha you are - statistics are all there)
- I don't wanna hand over my balls to a one woman who can then decide where my balls can or cannot be (sexual monopoly).
- Also polygyny doesn't work in western society or it's really hard to find women who agree into it long term.
EDIT2: I think this is a good thing to mention as well to give you some context because there is so much hate going on: She is begging for my commitment and exclusivity every time we see - sometimes covertly, sometimes overtly and she is really annoyed that I keep seeing other women (yeah, so surprising).
EDIT3: Because typical western female behaviour in the beginning/early stages of open relationship seems to be a bit unclear for most guys. I'll add this:
When you educate yourself about open relationships or get your own experience, you will quickly notice that it's quite normal that a girl, who would like to get into exclusive relationship, will fuck a guy or two at the beginning to "teach you a lesson" and when that doesn't work, she will only rarely if never fuck a another guy even when the relationship is open. Basically open relationship most of the time transitions to "polygyny by womans choice" and if it doesn't why should you be neurotic about what she is doing at her spare time as long as she is responsible (condoms etc.) and it's a mans job to find a woman who can be trusted in this kind of scenario (which I'm doing right now, even tho my "evaluation phase" is labeled here as oneitis, hamstering etc.)
It seems that open relationship is the only way to have a serious LTR-level relationship while freely fucking (without cheating) other girls on the side. If someones has a better way to achieve this, please let me know (and no, I don't count moving to muslim country and arranging forced polygyny as an option or serial plating girls with whom you delay "what are we"-talk as long as you can).
Papiless 5y ago
I know how you are thinking about this. I have been in the same situation previously, mainly, me fucking other girls and girls fucking other guys to "get back" to me. Trying to fuck my swag up.
All I can say is that you are coming from a blue pill state of mind, since you believe in open communication and that she will tell you the truth. The best way to meet women and fuck women on the side is to just MEET WOMEN AND FUCK WOMEN. Do not try to go down the road of "absolute honesty" and "open relationships" because it is bullshit - you can not trust a woman like that. Tell her nothing, just fuck other girls on the side.
I broke up with my girlfriend two days ago, we used to have an open relationship before I gave her commitment. Trust me it is not worth it. The scars are always there and you - or her - will not be as honest as you are supposed to be. Trust issues will be extreme, high drama, good sex but nothing else. It will drain you emotionally.
Zech4riah 5y ago
In open relationship, no one gives sexual commitment but possibly only emotional commitment. So I'm not sure what you had there. You had something else which I'm trying to build here. You were open and then you pussied up to traditional monogamy and lost your freedom and kind of lost your status (and being unattainable) in her eyes. I'm not sure if the drama ensued before or after you gave commitment. If after - I'm not surprised, if before (and after) you did something wrong. Now when my girl has accepted the situation, she is doing everything she can to impress me and be the best option for me - thanks to my honesty which revealed the situation (I admit that sometimes this is achievable without overtly communicating it).
In open relationship woman doesn't have sexual monopoly and therefore you have sexual freedom which is a greatest thing man can have. The well known "TRP style" of delaying "what are we talk" and hiding the facts that you are trying to fuck a girl isn't working long term and everyone who is spinning plates knows this. You achieve sexual freedom only short term with this strategy - I aim for long term solutions.
Girls rather share a high quality man than settle for low quality man.
[deleted]
[deleted]
machocornflakes 5y ago
I see this as nuclear level delusion.
If women are abundant, I don’t see the logic of engaging in a OLTR. The fact that people associate themselves with such terminology baffles me. It seems like the perfect recipe for unnecessary conflict. You’re taking a high road, rendering it normal and patting yourself on the back for it.
SeasonedRP 5y ago
Dealing with something similar. Plate got angry a former friend of hers friended me on FB. Then got cold, distant, and unresponsive for a few months. And kept asking about my best friend, if we had talked, if I was going to see him on business trips to his area. Implied something then reversed and said she didn't. He denied it but also said why would you care, you are a rock star with lots of women. Now all the signs point to it. Him being distant to. She did it to get at me for accepting the request. I am not going to see her again. Can't accept that level of disrespect.
Redpiller77 5y ago
This is female level hamstering. Demote to plate, she broke you already.
Gr0o0vy 5y ago
" it's quite normal that a girl, who would like to get into exclusive relationship, will fuck a guy or two at the beginning to "teach you a lesson" and when that doesn't work, she will only rarely if never fuck a another guy even when the relationship is open. "
​
Cope of the week
INNASKILLZ2K18 5y ago
This is mental ward level delusion.
Cope of the year
ArdAtak 5y ago
I don't think fucking another dude is a shit test. She cucked you and you played along.
[deleted]
Bone_Coat 5y ago
I understand OP, also, I understand what is wrong here... only time will tell
but let me say (IMO), open relationship is one thing and LTR is another one, there's no such thing as an OLTR
Xhaka-Laca 5y ago
.....and this girl is LTR potential? Wow
oooKenshiooo 5y ago
How to get cucked and hamster it, 101.
There, fixed it for you.
44361066 5y ago
What’s the point of caring for a woman (beyond sex) who fuckes other men? Are you a cuck?
tyronethejabrone 5y ago
Bro didn’t you see. He passed the nuclear shit test. He can’t be a cuck he’s a total alpha wizard
MikeTyson91 5y ago
Next step: seeing a woman you "start to care about" getting fucked, aka ultimate nuclear shittest-breaking alpha magic.
Zech4riah 5y ago
If you educate yourself about open relationships or get your own experience, you will quickly notice that it's quite normal that a girl, who would like to get into exclusive relationship, will fuck a guy or two at the beginning to "teach you a lesson" but when that doesn't work, she will only rarely if never fuck a another guy even when the relationship is open. Basically open relationship most of the time transitions to "polygyny by womans choice".
Open relationship is the only way to have a serious LTR while freely fucking (without cheating) other girls on the side. If you have some better way to achieve this, please let me know (and no, I don't count moving to muslim country and arranging forced polygyny as an option).
wobbleelbbow 5y ago
Yep. Pathetic. Infidelity is never a shit test. It should be a deal breaker. Though in OP's case she was supposedly just a plate but why would he want such a plate to ltr if she fucks other guys? Cuck mentality. I do not understand such men. Maybe I'm just old fashioned.
Even. Patrice O'Neal let his gf fuck other dudes but then again that's what he was doing from the start and he wanted her to enjoy other men.
Still though, unless you want children or cohabitate with such woman, letting her fuck other dudes should be off limits.
OVOXOKing 5y ago
"My GF(Well I like her and she turned me down 3 times but I think it's just a shit test) is fucking other guys and got a restraining order on me. How do I pass this shit test?!"
Zech4riah 5y ago
You ask this like you think that you will find that one unicorn woman that you will spent rest of your life with and who won't cheat on you even if a proper Chad tries to pick her up :/
lapeparoja 5y ago
Any option is better than willingly be a cuck that is for sure
Philhelm 5y ago
I don't think the issue is the open relationship part, but the fact that you want to LTR a woman who will be fucking other men. You already admitted to feeling jealous when she talked about her friend Chad, so it seems that you are setting yourself up for disappointment.
grandmasbroach 5y ago
No, some of us are actually capable of not getting emotionally attached to a slimy wet hole. If she wants to fuck other guys, cool. She just isn't going to do that when I'm around. You on the other hand...
[deleted]
tyronethejabrone 5y ago
You can continue to put up your facade but she will break you
grandmasbroach 5y ago
By the looks of it, she already did. He's still with her after she fucked another guy. He already is cucking himself, doesn't get much more broken than that.
tyronethejabrone 5y ago
She doesn’t see through him yet
Zech4riah 5y ago
We are not together. Please read the post.
sadomasochrist 5y ago
Why would you get into an open relationship LTR with a plate that you don't have kids with?
You're provisioning when she threatened to promote you to AF?
Zech4riah 5y ago
I have a desire to pair-bond while having sex with various women on the side.
And nope, haven't spent a dime on her (actually I think she has put more money on me) and probably keep it near to zero in future too. Co-habitation, which would change this manner, is a distant thought at this point.
Thotwrecker 5y ago
Why do you have a desire to pair bond with a woman who's fucking other dudes? You are putting up with the drama and headaches of a LTR, but only getting a plate out of it. Instead, you should aim to put in the low effort / care that you'd put into a plate -- let her worry about trying to get you to "pair bond" with her.
There's nothing wrong with your plate fucking other dudes, in fact, it's expected, but why would you want to be burdened with the type of relationship where she shares and tells you about her other man/men and what they do? Sounds like you're taking on certain aspects of the listener / friend role and then because you know TRP, you're able to manage your jealousy and perform the right moves to still fuck her. But, why?
It's OK to want a LTR if you have the sexual experience necessary to select a high quality LTR candidate. But if you want a LTR, then it shouldn't be open on her end -- either fuck around on her, or be loyal, that's your headache, but there's nothing to gain by letting her lease out her pussy to a different AF when you're the one who has to emotionally support her.
This whole post is an example of using TRP ideas and strategies to achieve a bad end goal -- the strategy is fine, but it's being used to satisfy a beta urge. If she's LTR material, then LTR her, cohabitate, build a life, love each other, all that gay shit. But if she's not LTR material (aka the type of bitch that you know will never really satisfy you, she just checks the right marks and is easy available pussy) then don't try to make her a LTR, just plate her.
Zech4riah 5y ago
That's the price of having open relationship. Long term polygyny is somewhat impossible in current western culture. Also, I'm not sure what drama you are talking about. She telling me that she fucked another guy - that's pretty much only drama I'm getting and in the end, that drama is only in my head if I want to make a drama about it.
It's only burdening if you have issues or doubts about yourself. I'm improving on this and I expect to be almost 100% DGAF pretty soon regarding she fucking other dudes (which she barely even does even tho she is allowed to do).
Possible future emotional commitment goes both ways. I agree that you can see this as a loss for a man but I see a total sexual freedom while having LTR (emotional bond) as much greater thing for which I'm willing to sacrifice some things.
Majority of men have this "beta urge". Typical red pilled guy thinks that if he is redpilled enough, he can make LTR work but the reality (biology) is that monogamy doesn't work.
Again. Monogamy doesn't work and I have no desire to keep spinning plates until I'm so old that I can't even get hard. I guess the age is kind of relevant here. I wouldn't recommend younger guys (under 35) going this route. Typical red pill sexual strategy (spinning plates) is preferable for the guys under ~35.
Thotwrecker 5y ago
You wrote an entire post about how much of a "sheer nuclear shit test" it was, not me. Call it something other than drama if the word drama triggers you - you spend hours of your time contemplating and mentalling framing this thing that happened.
If you want to see it as "my girlfriend fucks other men, while I listen to her emotional bullshit and fuck her too, but it's OK because I'm secure with myself and I think that this is as good as it gets for me anyway"... then sure -- give it a try and report back.
I don't really get it - and this isn't even from a cynical point of view. The majority of men do have the urge to love and be loved and form emotional bonds, and all of that -- but honestly, I think it's totally possible to get a girl to only fuck you, while you occasionally fuck other girls. If you're high enough value, you can do that, they let you do it. And if you can't get to that level with a girl, keep her as a plate.
Zech4riah 5y ago
Yes, this is how much drama it induced (and in time, if similar situation occurs, I expect my reaction to be more DGAF): "I had a moderate spike of jealousy and disappointment for around 5mins and then it faded away over the next 10 mins so I was pretty much clear after 15mins into discussion even tho she kept hammering whole this time."
The post was for guys who are considering open relationship to learn what to expect. Not for myself. But obviously I wouldn't use my time and post my experience regarding this again because people don't see value in this.
Yes, but the "contract" has to be open to both ways. Some girls in open relationships fuck a another guy once or twice in the beginning, some don't, and minority uses their "green card" regularly.
The first attempt of attempting the overtly verbalize that I'm fucking other girls went south on me. She was the exactly a girl who wouldn't have fucked any other guys but she just couldn't stand the fact that I would fuck other girls and we "broke up" (at 7 months mark when I couldn't delay talking about this anymore). This time I chose a girl who I thought to be a bit more open on the idea and succeeded (with obvious little set back).
But yea, as said, now I've overtly verbalize the situation but we aren't in open relationship yet (she is a high tier plate). In following months I will be evaluating situation before I actually promote her to an actual girlfriend - if I even do that.
And I don't want just occasionally fuck other girls. I wanna keep spinning plates on the side. Additionally, this girl is bi-sexual so there is much to gain when in a while I start to introduce other plates to her and get to threesomes. She just need to dial back her jealousy a bit first before I feel comfortable to do that but we will see (in following months).
grandmasbroach 5y ago
Bro, you need to go monk and re evaluate, well, everything you think you know about trp. It doesn't matter if you're spending money, because you're giving them something even better in their eyes, your attention. Sure, you aren't being used for money. But, you sure as hell are being used for validation.
Just so you're aware, you're the orbiter now... The other guy she cucked you with is the alpha in this situation. They were probably laughing about you when they were fucking. You aren't ready for an ltr, much less an open one. I mean, you got cucked in what was basically an open relationship ffs. Lol
whatdidshewrite 5y ago
This is all just speculation. No one can possibly know what is the correct/incorrect interpretation of OP’s situation until it’s over. At the end of the day, he needs to make his own choices and learn from them
Zech4riah 5y ago
Orbiter doesn't get sex. I do. Everytime I see her.
She can't exactly cuck me because we are not sexually or emotionally exclusive. She isn't my GF. We aren't in a committed relationship. We aren't currently in OLTR.
It's all there if you just read before judging.
EdmondDantes777 5y ago
She cucked you. In the modern age of sluts and strong empowered wammen, orbiters get sex all the time.
Zech4riah 5y ago
How can she cuck me if we are not in relationship? I'm pretty sure that's a prerequisite for cucking.
yeezusshityall 5y ago
Unlike most of the dudes here, I think that's an admirable goal, but it's almost fucking impossible lmao. Open relationships are almost always trainwrecks just waiting to happen.
Zech4riah 5y ago
They are trainwrecks if they are initiated by woman when the man is weak.
She is begging for commitment and exclusivity from me everytime we see - sometimes covertly, sometimes overtly.
grandmasbroach 5y ago
You mean like when she's fucking other dudes? ???????????????? You're her orbiter you dumbass!
nofilmynofucky 5y ago
While she fucks her ex lol
Dude. Stop listening to what she says and start watching how she acts.
Zech4riah 5y ago
How she acts...let's see:
nofilmynofucky 5y ago
why are you trying to LTR a literal hooker lmao
INNASKILLZ2K18 5y ago
Yeah, this makes zero sense.
Yes, you passed a test by not being jealous, but the fact you are considering her for an LTR, and saying she has months to prove herself, is insane.
Sounds like you're in denial and rationalizing. You're hamstering that 'she was just nuclear shit testing to get my loyalty. I came out on top'.
In reality she's a fucking whore. She fucked another dude to 'try and break you'. You turned around and rewarded her by fucking her, and giving her attention. You think you're in control, but she is.
She fucked some dude, told you, you fucked her and spent time with her. Jesus, wtf?
She now knows she can fuck other guys to try and get to you (which is bullshit, she's just fucking cuz she wants to), and you'll hang around and give her attention.
You should have walked out. When she blows up your phone cuz you didn't put up with her shit, you maybe fuck her and next. Or at least very very low plate status if you need it.
Either way, show by behaviour what you don't put up with, stop hamstering, and go game another woman.
This whole LTR possibility is absolutely fucked. She failed it big time, already.
The problem is, you are emotionally invested and she's in the running for ltr. I have no idea why she hasn't destroyed herself on both of these.
Withdraw all attention, demote to low low plate, maybe just fuck a few times, secure other women and ditch her.
The fact you are invested, I would say just bail completely. Start with someone else and get your shit together.
Gr0o0vy 5y ago
she failed big time but his coping mechanisms are even worse
​
if he LTRs her and actually ends up having children with her he deserves whatever that might befall him; and I do believe she can put a good girl facade long enough to get there; I bet she doesn˙t tell next time she fucks a guy.
INNASKILLZ2K18 5y ago
The level of rationalizing is high with this one.
The chick knew she did wrong, obvious by her distance initially.
Women hate taking responsibility and feeling guilty. She owned up, but he didn't bat an eyelid. He fucked her, and spent time with her.
She was probably glad she didn't get pulled into line, and was buttering him up afterwards. All that talk of 'I can't move away from you', is bullshit.
Truth is, she was trying to get his commitment, before this. You don't go fuck another dude, to try a different get another's exclusivity. You can, but it's fucking retarded. She should be earning commitment through loyalty. She's probably thinking this guy is a pushover
This guy has zero frame. Sure, he may hangout with chicks and fuck (I'm not believing he has other options, though), and listen to them bitch about guys. But they are doing whatever the fuck they want. Totally in their frame.
The main problem is him considering her for ltr. I didn't read a trace of him disqualifying her.
If my options were good, I would have walked out. Totally cool about it. She just played herself, and I have options. No sweat, see ya. Next. Maybe if feeling Machiavellian, fuck her then leave.
Chicks hate no closure and guilt. Phone would blow up. Soft next for two weeks. No reward for whore behaviour.
Detach, take out investment. Reevaluate in two weeks.
If abundance is good, hard next.
If needing a low low level plate while I create other options...
A) Direct route: Go over. Fuck her, then tell her it's just sex now. She can do whatever the fuck she wants. Zero attention, zero time after, zero anything else
B) Indirect. Do the same, just don't tell her it's only sex. Show her. Until she breaks.
I'd do the hard next if could...otherwise B.
Yes, OP let her get away with it, and is deluded in not disqualifying her then and there
[deleted] 5y ago
[deleted]
Dakstradamus 5y ago
Cause trp is just another reddit echo chamber with the universal reddit rule: Rules for me, not for thee.
TRP sees women for their true selves. Sub-human cock holsters.
It should not surprise anyone that trp commandments are rife with contradictions, double-standards and mental gymnastics.
I'm curious to see if anyone has a legitimate response to this question.
I believe trp would answer: because the woman should be in your frame 24/7 and adhere to your rules, or else you're a cuck
Zech4riah 5y ago
Yes, good points and I'm considering all these. She is pretty much only a plate at this point alltho higher tier one. Plates are expected to fuck other guys too.
[deleted] 5y ago
[deleted]
Zech4riah 5y ago
I've noticed this happening automatically. I'm considering demoting her to FB. All the thoughts about LTR have almost vanished - not because she fucked another guy (that what happens in open relationships) but because she disrespected me by telling me and reminding me couple of times about that.
hobeezus 5y ago
To me this sounds like the most logical reaction. She doesn't have enough respect for you for it to work out in a healthy way long term. I second what other guys are saying that she will fuck you over. She will if you give her more power than she has now. Maintain frame and spin the plate until it breaks, don't buy it a china cabinet.
mrmaldoror 5y ago
I have to agree, you are in over your head and your analysis reads as delusion. Have fun though !
EdmondDantes777 5y ago
These aren't "shit tests". This is just honestly. She's cooled off you and has moved on.
She doesn't respect you and sees you as a spineless dude who gets off on getting cucked.
That isn't what pair bonding means lol.
OP you are hamstering and spinning the wheel like crazy in this thread. It's time to be honest with yourself.
Zech4riah 5y ago
Check out EDIT3 in original post. I added it for this kind of comments.
EdmondDantes777 5y ago
You're spinning the hamster wheel kid. Everyone is telling you the same things because it's true. We're trying to help you, stop throwing our help back in our faces.
Zech4riah 5y ago
The thing is that the advice keeps coming from guys who do not know, understand or have experience on open relationships. The dynamic is quite different in some aspects versus monogamous relationship.
This isn't a typical monogamous situation (which is the base for advice I'm getting). If I was attempting a monogamous relationship and girl behaved like this, I would have already nexted her.
Also, no need to slip in words like kid to attempt to lower me beneath you. We can probably have a discussion like adults.
EdmondDantes777 5y ago
Why do you think this? You got cucked and you're hamstering. End of story, bro. Get off the wheel, stop being defensive, and listen to the solid advice that everyone is telling you.
Zech4riah 5y ago
Because almost everyone is stating against EDIT3 which is well known among guys who do open relationships. Don't believe me, search the internet (or keep blindly telling I'm wrong without and experience or knowledge about open relationships). If you educate yourself, then you probably have to change your argument to "all you guys (guys at open relationships) are getting cucked and hamstering" but that's a different discussion.
Btw, I still don't understand how I can be cucked by a plate? We are not together or exclusive. You really think your plates/FBs don't fuck other guys?
EdmondDantes777 5y ago
why do you think you're the only person in this thread who has experience with open relationships? You're deluding yourself. You got cucked, end of story. Move on and learn from this or don't.
If you saw this girl as just a plate you wouldn't have written your original post with three edits+all of those defensive comments where you deny the fact you were cucked in the first place. Get off the hamster wheel and learn from this bro.
Zech4riah 5y ago
Already told you (in EDIT3). This kind of behaviour from a girl who wants an exclusive relationship, which I'm not agreeing to, is quite normal and most guys who have experience in open relationships and have educated themselves about the matter, know this. Also I don't see many comments which go like "in my experience regarding open relationships xyz" or something similar.
She is a girl currently with plate status which I'm sort of starting to date (oltr candidate) and thinking about promoting because she survived the fact that I overtly told her that I'm seeing other girls.
Now, if within this framework you think I've been cucked - ok then. I guess based on your definition, all guys in open relationships are being cucks so we have no common ground to continue this discussion.
Jkarl1 5y ago
Seriously dude, the neurosis is unbelievable with you. You are not in an open relationship with this girl and you don’t want one either...That’s just the justification you came up with so you could make yourself seem alpha while she fucks other dudes and you sit here and write blog posts about her and fantasize about her all day. This girl will destroy you and hopefully you will take that and grow to be a real man and not a orbiter/Cuck like you are right now!
Zech4riah 5y ago
Yes, I admit, it was a mistake to post this. Community isn't mature enough to have a discussion about female behaviour in the first stages of open relationship.
Things get very different when you verbalize your non-monogamy instead of delaying and dodging relationship related questions until the plate breaks.
Also there isn't really ECs roasting me here which makes me to believe that my post is utter crap in their opinion and they are ignoring it or they actually agree on it on the some level but are having difficulties putting the thing to red pilled frame.
[deleted]
civilizedfrog 5y ago
So you asked for her poonani right after she told you that she got creampied by another dude lol. I'm sure that she sent him text telling that you got turned on by being cucked.
umirin20 5y ago
Bro!!! This is what i dont understand. The correct response in my opinion would have been fuck her and break the plate. One wise man said “never try to wife a hoe”.
AutoModerator 5y ago
Why are we quarantined? The admin don't want you to know.
Register on our backup site: https://www.trp.red and reserve your reddit name today.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
[deleted]
AbleDad 5y ago
OP posted a solid field-report. My natural response in similar situations has been a "soft-next", but sometimes I simply "ignore" as the OP did. The one thing that you can't do is show jealousy, which rewards her behavior. Also per TRP, there is no way to negotiate her loyalty. You earn it by rewarding at appropriate times, ignoring silly behavior, applying the right amount of dread, and withdrawing attention when necessary. Again, well-played by the OP.
inbredostrptw 5y ago
Before hand she was emotionally distant and tells you she fucked another guy. You have sex, make her feel good I guess and then she’s saying she only wants you. Do you not see the blatant contradiction over the course of a day. You can’t trust what she’s telling you and shouldn’t make conclusions based on it.
smartstarfish 5y ago
OP has definitely internalized TRP
[deleted]
Philhelm 5y ago
Regardless of whether you have an open relationship, she disrespected you by talking about fucking another man.
Zech4riah 5y ago
This is a good (and almost the only) rational point here. I've given thought to this even before because I've had several fuck buddies who were telling about other men their were sleeping with but it didn't matter because their attempt wasn't to insult me. They just saw me as a cool guy who couldn't give a fuck what they do, which was pretty much true. (Also this is such a fucking great place to be and learn about women and how they think about men and their behaviour. It's priceless to listen how girls bitch about nice guys or too pushy guys).
Now, wit this girl it is a bit different story altho expected. There is emotional investment involved now (unlike with FBs). She really wants my commitment and exclusive relationship so she is trying to make me bend to her will by doing this which I won't. If this happens again (she openly telling or even covertly on purpose telling me about fucking other guy to disrespect me even I've expressed that I don't wanna know), then we may be going over the boundary and I may have to downgrade her to FB.
omen_tenebris 5y ago
you mean disrespected him by FUCKING another man.
yeezusshityall 5y ago
Nah, if they aren't in a committed thing, or they decided to have an open committed thing, she can do whatever the fuck she wants. The gross part is telling him about it like he should give a fuck who she's catching dick from. Open relationships are all about don't ask don't tell, and she told.
omen_tenebris 5y ago
Ah, you're right. It slipped my mind and that it was open lol
Aptote 5y ago
how? the ltr is "open"
no way i would commit to a woman who could being laying next to me with other men's sperm in her
her: "hi, honey i'm home from the gangbang, let's cuddle"
this is an open ltr...
Philhelm 5y ago
It's not that she's fucking other men, as was agreed upon, but that she's talking about it while with him. There's definitely a lack of respect there.
Aptote 5y ago
this whole thing isn't red pill way of doing things, is what i am saying
it's either a ltr or it's not. also the man is the boss of the relationship, not the woman
does he sound as if he is in charge or has a clue on how to lead a ltr?
Philhelm 5y ago
I agree with that sentiment. My only point for the OP was that even within the context of an open relationship, she disrespected him by going into the details.
I've never explicitly been in an open relationship, but also usually didn't get into LTRs, so assumed they were fucking other men. If they had talked about it I would have considered it disrespectful, even if I wasn't interested in LTR. Perhaps it could be broken down to poor bedside manners?
TwentyEighteen 5y ago
pair bonding with a woman that fucks other men. That’s funny
mooksno 5y ago
"annoyingly loyal" but fucks another dude
but
Zech4riah 5y ago
Yes, she hates the fact that she is not interested on having (more) sex with other guys even tho I keep fucking other girls whole time.
mooksno 5y ago
Boy she sure has you wrapped around her finger
Zech4riah 5y ago
I see it differently, I have her wrapped around my finger because she can't emotionally upset me and I can keep fucking my other plates while she knows it.
But it seems all guys can think is some other dude fucking their girl instead of seeing the freedom I've achieved.
missingkey2 5y ago
Can you please comment here later once she has wrecked you? Just so that we can say we told you so.
mooksno 5y ago
Seriously. I can’t even with this guy
[deleted] 5y ago
LMFAO OLTR is Blackdragon terminology, and he just put up a post about jealousy. I am now fully amused.
Aptote 5y ago
doesn't work... for you
OLTR is a contradiction in terms, pure fantasy without reality
you either give her commitment in exchange for her exclusive sex and all that comes with it or you don't
you can not eat your cake and have it too
huh? ltr is not for you. you are not handing over your balls or heart to her, you imply that she is in charge of the LTR (and you act like it)
whatever you are doing with her it is not an LTR
good luck
[deleted]
KronkIsLove 5y ago
1.
​
Dude... like... run. If you get into a long time relationship with her, she will fuck you over big time. She is playing you like a damn fiddle.
Zech4riah 5y ago
Don't worry bro, she still has multiple months to prove herself. I'm not in a rush and you never know if some other girl proves herself before her.
From monogamous aspect where you are probably coming from - I understand the worry.
grandmasbroach 5y ago
I don't understand people who post on here like you. You just laid out this story, and now have basically EVERYONE here telling you this is a bad idea. For some reason, you think the 100 other people are wrong, and only you're right... OK. Let's see how this works out. My popcorn is on standby.
[deleted] 5y ago
[deleted]
grandmasbroach 5y ago
That, and any bad behavior out of them is a shit test to be passed. Instead of them just dropping the bitch and moving on, they see it as a challenge. When, in reality, it's just bad behavior.
noct3rn4l 5y ago
I understand it: none of it happened. Kids a virgin typing fantasy with little to no real experience.
grandmasbroach 5y ago
Why would you admit to cucking yourself though?
[deleted]
composedtantrum 5y ago
Dude..I think she made you the bitch in this relationship. Get out before she gives you Chad's kid to raise
Zech4riah 5y ago
How so? I haven't given my balls to any one women as monogamous guys do. That's more of a definition of bitch in my eyes.
And don't worry, paternity tests are allowed here where I live.
magx01 5y ago
Well you're the one analyzing every little interaction and posting diary entries about it........
huggyblossom 5y ago
Do you get jealous when your female dog breeds with another male dog? No, because it's your dog and it's in his nature. All dogs are like that no matter how much they like you, why would you go on such a husssle for a case of AWALT.
​
Why would you value a FWB, Plate or w/e status you want to have with that girl so much - it's oneitis on your side for you to give a flying fuck. As long as you are receiving sex from her, which is what you want, why do you care so much?
​
If you want her as a GF, LTR investment, well then we're going on a whole different topic there.
Zech4riah 5y ago
Mm...oneitis? Care about what? Care about making sure she is a good fit for possible OLTR? Ofc I care about that, I won't be rushing into a LTR with a girl I don't know and haven't evaluated properly.
Now I got some real material to base my evaluations on. This is one of the good things in this experience.
LodiLu 5y ago
Speaking from experience her saying shes "not interested" in other guys, and she "cant get further" from you.. yeah its straight up lies. The only way to know if shes truly that attached to you is thru her actions... and if shes basically telling you shes fucking other guys, well that's your answer right there.
MikeTyson91 5y ago
This is the only right answer. OP's just trying to hamster in the "evaluation", lol.
Zech4riah 5y ago
When you get your plates spinning, you will get familiar with evaluation too. That's what you can do to girls you are seeing when you have more than one and then pick the best one. Why is it so hard to believe that this kind of things are reality for some guys?
MikeTyson91 5y ago
It's not "hard to believe". I've read enough posts on TRP to know that nearly everything is possible w/ regards to plating and whatnot. It's that your explanation doesn't really address any of the contradictions that were pointed out in the comments.
Zech4riah 5y ago
Please elaborate. To which points I'm not answering?
MikeTyson91 5y ago
Look up parent comment by /u/LodiLu
Zech4riah 5y ago
Yes, her behaviour is addressed in EDIT3 of original post.
Zech4riah 5y ago
We are only 4 months in. There is multiple months to come to evaluate her and she how she behaves.
[deleted]
[deleted]