TL;DR
Meeting and gaming women is a numbers game. The more you game and meet, the more you'll get laid. Focusing on one woman, whether a flake, a date, or even an LTR, is missing the point. If you want to have success with women, you need to cycle through a lot of them.
Body
It’s a numbers game.
I know that’s not a popular opinion, but with women of high to even middling SMV, it’s a numbers game.
And that’s true even if you strictly devote yourself to the principles of TRP.
I’m not saying lifting, learning game, having a mission, reading, and all that other stuff doesn’t matter—it most certainly does. You vastly increase your odds by doing all those things.
But unless you’ve achieved an unbelievably high status, a significant percentage of girls WILL NOT fuck you—actually even if you’re a fucking rock star that’s true, because some girls will see you as too high status and it’ll scare them off, and that’s the point I want to get to:
In a world of open hypergamy, where women find 80% of all men to be “worse looking than medium” or “below average”, it’s a numbers game. And the numbers are NOT in our favor. Women are unbelievably picky these days to the point of being unreasonable.
I see a lot of pissing and moaning on this sub about different methods of meeting women, e.g. cold approach vs. SOD (swipe/online), and some guys dismissing cold approach because girls flake, but I’ve got news for you: the same thing happens in SOD. You just don't see it.
How many girls swiped left on you—looked at your picture and thought “eww”? 95% or more. Hundreds if not thousands. How many girls matched and then ditched when they viewed more of your profile? A third to half, right? And how many girls did you start a text chat with who suddenly dropped off the map after a short exchange? Another third to half, and it's usually the hottest ones.
So stop lying to yourselves guys: it happens all the goddamn time. To everyone—even the fucking Chad’s we glorify as chick magnets. No guy gets every chick he goes after. Actually not even close—that’s just not how it works.
So instead of worrying about the fact women flake and having a fragile ego, just accept it: women flake. I remember watching a YouTube of James Marshall, a dating coach and PUA who’s an incredibly handsome dude with a silky Australian accent, saying that for three weeks straight one time, every single number he got flaked on him.
That’s not because he’s bad looking or shitty at game. It’s because women are incredibly random, mercurial beings who are ruled by their emotions and bad at making decisions. If you’ve done any amount of cold approach you accept the fact that you could run the same exact game on a girl in a bar on two different nights two weeks apart, and one night she’ll blow you out because she's in a shitty mood and two weeks later she’ll go home with you because she's horny.
The other thing is that life doesn’t just even out on some equal plane—it goes in streaks. Think of basketball—it’s a game of runs. One team usually outscores the other for certain periods of time, but over the course of the game it tend to even out. Or if you’ve ever watched or played baseball, you know that guys have slumps—even the best players—and then they hit .500 for a week with four homers.
Fishing is actually a great analogy for all of this: because even the best fisherman sometimes gets skunked or doesn’t catch that many/big fish from time to time. But he’s got a tremendous advantage over the amateur who goes fishing a few times a year—he’s got more experience, better gear, knows all the best spots, understands his quarry, is in tune with the environment, etc.
And that’s like the Red Pill player: if you lift, learn game, etc. you have a huge advantage over blue pill beta billy. I just spoke to a friend yesterday who was going on a 6th date with a girl he’s barely kissed! Fuck that was painful to hear (as most of us know, 3 dates max—if at that point she’s not putting out, NEXT). I tried my best to tell him to just pull the fucking trigger and make a move, but he didn’t, because he doesn’t understand game or the nature of women—and I should add, she’s a 6 at best because he met her on Bumble and he’s no Chad (sorry, but at this point, I just don’t believe guys who say they regularly match with HB 7+ girls on SOD; maybe if you’re like in the 5% best looking guys AND have great photos, but the statistics show that 98% of guys match with women who are at best, average looking—most guys who say they’re killing it on Tinder are liars with small egos).
But even if you’re an incredibly handsome guy who knows game, you’re going to have streaks where you fail, where women flake, play games, blue ball you, etc. Plates break. LTRs and marriages fail. That’s true no matter how badass or red pilled you are, and more often than not it’s because women are fucking weirdoes and AWALT.
So here’s the thing guys: focus on the wins. Did you get a number? Good. That’s a win, you did something right. Hell, for the newbie it’s a win to go up to a girl and tell her she looks nice while making strong eye contact. But what if she flakes? Fuck it. Women flake—at least you got the number. And no you can't fuck a number, but if you get enough numbers you'll end up in bed with a girl sooner or later.
And in the end, that’s what it is: a numbers game. For most of us, even the best of us, whether you’re using cold approach or OKCupid or social circle or whatever, there are more “no’s” than “yes’s.” There is more failure than success. It’s a numbers game.
The guys who focus on the flakes and the no girls still have that thing most deadly to the red pill player: oneitis. They’re still focused on a single girl when they should be focused on creating abundance. Figure out a way to get more numbers. Figure out a way to make those numbers more solid. If you lack the frame and confidence to cold approach, figure out a way to get more matches.
As Mystery says: “beauty is common.” That’s true! So stop it with the oneitis. Instead of worrying about the number that flaked, or any individual girl, give yourself as many opportunities as possible, and over time things will work out. You’ll run into a yes girl—maybe a bunch of yes girls like I did this fall/winter.
But that will only happen if you give yourself enough opportunities to meet them.
Because with women, it’s a numbers game.
Edit: a week later and I get a number from a girl who approaches me and get a first date lay. I got two other numbers that same night and they're both interested. The last five or six had flaked. Just the way it goes.
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FlakyAnimator 5y ago
agreed. 'Game' is played on the yes girls and the maybe girls. Whether they are in that category is largely down to how you look and out of your control. You need to be her 'type' for you to have a shot
DigitalDragonSlayer 5y ago
Best thing sales taught me.
RevolutionaryPea7 5y ago
It's not even just women that are a numbers game. Most things in life are. Successful men fail more than failed men have tried. You just have to keep trying.
SirAustinHumphrey 5y ago
Noob here- is game essentially just using your words to convince her that you’re high status?
Ive seen james marshall say that the most valuable thing u can do is make a woman FEEL. Is that what game is?
How do you convince a girl you’re an “alpha fucks “ guy if u dont have the jawline muscle or height for it?
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tyronethejabrone 5y ago
Da fuck?
I would say why is this guy giving people advice but you kinda answered that
valourtore 5y ago
dude must be on gear to stay fit with once a week gyming
BazingaBen 5y ago
In the last article link you mention to stay away from carbs. I recent did a very successful cut on the following macros 50 carbs, 30 protein, 20 fat.
Did it for 3 months and got ripped. Carbs aren't bad if you stick to whole foods, potato, rice and so on.
Good writing and I can echo very similar experiences with women who just don't know what they want, the same one can make it easy for you one night and knock you back the next week then want you the week after without you changing a thing.
Pooptrition 5y ago
I’m not classically attractive, but I lift and wear an unusual style. It filters out a lot of girls, I guess, as you are judged for your clothes. But on the other hand, when you catch an eye, you’re a rare commodity. It also makes me feel authentic to myself.
Besides that, i got involved in some cool music scenes, and gained some social status. I crush at school and live life ethically. Honestly the pussy does just fall into my lap. I have a primary partner who lives a country away, and we do our separate thing. I don’t consciously go out, but I seize opportunities to start conversations, not just with women, but all kinds of people.
I guess I have high SMV. But I’m playing my own game. It’s not a numbers game, cause women aren’t even the end game for me. Though I do want some kids soon.
For me, the best tools to effect my multi year transformation have probably been the Zen Studies Podcast and the Art of Charm podcast. Early on though, people like Tyler Durden (the pua guy) helped a lot.
justgotalpha 5y ago
It’s definitely a numbers game and from my experience you have to escalate fast enough depending on the situation. if you are gaming a girl in a bar the objective is to get laid but if she gives you her number and does not fuck you that night do not and i repeat DO NOT TEXT THE GIRL OR CALL JUST MOVE ON!! YOU WILL NOT FUCK HER AND SHE WILL PUT YOU ON ORBITER MODE!! Most women go out to get live validation from simps outside of social media these days and they are complete desilusional when it comes to finding the “perfect man” ive come to the conclusion from my experience that when you dont fuck the same day you are been put into the backburner, you hop into the list of all the other simps and sometimes even quality guys that are waiting their turn to fuck her!!! When she text you outta the blue and tells you she wants to hang out please be aware that your turn has arrived!!!
tchower 5y ago
Thank you for writing this! I’m getting really tired of seeing comments or posts from these betas where the guys talk about “well Chad this” or “if SMV 10” then there would be no rejections or game needed, and no shit tests ect. ect. Mythic Chad is cool to fantasize about and an ideal to live up to, but the practical way to get girls is approaching, along with improving your life and self-development.
TwentyEighteen 5y ago
I don’t like the phrase “it’s a numbers game”. It implies that the most important factor is approaching tons of women. It understates the importance of SMV and game.
If you employ this strategy while being low SMV with no game, your probability of success will be extremely low. you will have to approach tons and tons of women to succeed. and the woman you eventually score will be low SMV too. Leading to an overall demoralizing experience.
It’s very important that you improve your SMV and game, which will improve your success rate. Resulting in less effort in the approaching side of things.
warlordchad 5y ago
I'm not saying SMV or TRP don't matter--they most certainly do and I think I made that point pretty clear in the post. What I'm saying, however, is that even with high SMV and an understanding of TRP, it's not just as simple as walking around and pussy just shows up at your doorstep waiting to get banged.
I'm high SMV enough (lift guys, just do it) that I occasionally have women approach me, as one did last night. Actually a good illustration of this is later on at another bar, I was hitting on a two set. I had to leave so I asked one for her number and she said she wasn't dating, so I look at her friend and I'm like, "what about you?" and she gives me her number like that.
Some girls are yes girls; some girls are no girls. And most importantly girls are random. So yeah, it's always going to be a numbers game to some extent, no matter how high your SMV.
TwentyEighteen 5y ago
The phrase “it’s a numbers game” implies the most important factor is approaching lots of women. If this isn’t what you meant, then you used the wrong phrasing.
And of course your success rate won’t be 100% no matter how high your SMV is, but this doesn’t make it a “numbers game”. This would make many parts of life a “numbers game” just because success isn’t 100% guaranteed. Sports, career, video games, etc.
If a guy with low SMV and no game sees this post and takes it to heart, he’s in for a demoralizing experience.
Hombremaniac 5y ago
True, but no matter what, unless you go out there and approach women, you will hardly ever get any success.
So improve, that you should do until you die, but, as previously one post suggested, do not wait for the right time to act, as you might end up waiting forever.
1z1z2x2x3c3c4v4v 5y ago
Numbers example...
My friends (m/30) was recently single, he got dumped, and wanted to get back into finding a gf.
We created a 3 month plan, where at least once per day, he needed to approach at least 1 girl. He had to approach, open, make eye contact, smile, and go as far as he could to getting a number.
In 60 days:
38 Approached \ 5 Numbers \ 1 Hookup.
He is still with her (the one he eventually hooked up with), so he stopped approaching... (against my better judgement lol) This was only 2 months in. He had gotten real comfortable talking to girls by the 2 month mark, and I thought he could\should snag a few more before he committed.
He was initially hung up with approach anxiety and getting rejected. Well, after forcing himself to talk to girls everyday got him over that fairly quickly.
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SpiritStatic 5y ago
Anybody who has been in any type of sales organization should understand, nobody has a closing rate of 100%. And in fact, business owners who self-report that they have a closing rate of even 70-80% are usually misrepresenting themselves or outright lying about the situation.
No matter how great the product, service, or commodity, not everything sells to 100% of the people who receive its marketing.
I feel like the sales metaphor helps here, because it takes the petty emotional ego games out of it. Lots of men will get hung up on the stammering, "Bbbut--but if I were just taller she'd like me....!"
WELL MAYBE!
But also, possibly not. In fact, probably not.
Many factors will influence a person's buying decision. And leaving your personality and physical appearance aside, guess what one of the biggest is?
TIMING.
This is why any good sales rep knows that there is a great benefit to nurturing their leads over a long period of time.
If they cried and kicked rocks every time they lost a deal, they wouldn't be in this business anymore.
Toughen up and realize that even if you have all the features, the best marketing, and the right pricing (hope you're following the metaphor here), you may still not close the deal.
But guess what? You probably needed to have those 3 conversations before you had the 4th one that actually led to something.
So stay positive, and remember that at the very least, not everybody you meet is within the decision phase of a buyer's journey.
Nighthawkdragon8 5y ago
SO true. I view game as a business funnel, and will make a post about this at some point:
Brutal13 5y ago
Good points. I like how guys there sometimes combine game and sales.
Nighthawkdragon8 5y ago
Yeah if you get good at game it will help you in actual business sales so much as well. Same principles apply
CainPrice 5y ago
It's true that even "Chad" has girls flake on him, cheat on him, dump him, and so on. Even "Chad" doesn't get every single girl he talks to to have sex with him.
But Chad doesn't need The Red Pill. He just goes out and does his thing and does all right with women.
However, the guys you hear complaining aren't average guys who are fucking a third of the women they date, bitching about how two thirds of the women flake or act difficult.
The guys you hear complaining are the below average incel/MGTOW/omegas who are so ugly or socially crippled that they can literally swipe on or message a million women and get absolutely zero replies. Though most of these guys aren't actually swiping or messaging a million women - they're doing a few dozen, getting discouraged, then rushing to the internet to declare that it's hopeless and women only fuck Chad, which makes average dudes laugh at them because even average dudes get laid.
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IvyExcess 5y ago
I'll add to this as a "chad". I've had girls cheat on me, use me, play me for a fool, try to pull shit that I called them on and they either blew up cause they knew the game was up, or they dropped to their knees right then. I had a girl stop the hookup after I called her sexy just the other night. She left and alllll her friends, after hearing about my non-reaction upon her leaving (pretty sure she was bleeding but was being a lady about it, props to her actually), are now hitting me up. I have fucked a supermodel and the next day had a plate straight cold shoulder me after not escalating with her. This sounds like bragging but this just goes to show that some days (weeks, months, years) you win some and some you dont. That can be 5 minutes apart sometimes. Eyes on the prize which is being the best you, and keep going. There are treasures ahead, and Angel's reward boldness and despise mediocrity
edit: and TRP helped me figure a lot of shit out, even as a guy successful with women, i left SO FUCKING MUCH PUSSY on the table, and once i found TRP, that stopped happening. i went from n14 to n100+ in less than a year. Just saying - it works and its true.
OVOXOKing 5y ago
And this is a good lesson that the longer you play the game, the more victories you get!
BP guys trying to take the RP get discouraged when they don’t get immediate pussy from a HB8 or 9.
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Zech4riah 5y ago
Good realistic analysis. I'm surprised that internet alphas are not crawling to insult you with statements like "Your game sucks or you are fat and ugly".
I'm not sure if stating that "It's numbers game" is the unpopular opinion on it's own. It's unpopular because there is often a vibe that you can't influence things that make it less of a numbers game.
If you are an average joe with average looks and limited experience with women, you can go from getting laid with HB8 once per 1000 approaches to once per 20 approaches when you improve your SMV and game.
darksidessj25 5y ago
From what I experienced girls gravitate toward the ALPHA male. I learned to become an ALPHA and I have to say that I get about 80% of women attracted to me that I interact with because of the behavior that I exhibit. I did a warm approach the other day and the girl was looking me in the in the eyes the entire time, preening her hair, smiling, etc. I had about 2 other girls look at me too that were 8s during a span of 10 minutes The better you get at flirting the more attractive you become toward other women and around them. I didn't want to believe the ALPHA shit but I gave it a try and it improved my Game dramatically. I also took online classes from Viking Lifestyle (I recommend this), RSD, and Todd V.
This is from my personal experience. I stay the fuck off Tinder cause it's depressing. I use bumble and I sometimes match with 8s and 9s. I also had three women approach me in real life. Last Friday I was standing outside of a bar/restaurant and a mixed set comes over near me (proximity) and one of the girls turns around and looks at me directly in the eyes and asks for my opinion. I wasn't doing shit either. It really is a numbers game dude. You just gotta get better at improving your odds.
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helterskelter1988 5y ago
You’re the one spewing BP shit here dude. I’m a good looking guy myself and I overall I had more failures than success. Nowadays I do fine but back when I had the looks but was socially retarded it was fucking depressing to have decent looking chicks approaching me and suddenly getting dry because I had no game. This shit is real. Chicks will go on a date with a decent looking dude with game over a hot buff who’s socially inept any day.
yungassed 5y ago
Your mind and body are a manifestation of one another. They may be mismatched while developing in your teen years and early 20s, but eventually one catches up (or down) with the other. A large part of being Alpha is looking good and taking care of yourself, because looking good is a decent indicator that you value yourself and have your life somewhat together. Being good looking doesn't even mean having model level looks, it just means taking care of your body (stength + body fat %) and having good style/hygiene.
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Your mindset it toxic and you will continue to be unhappy because of it. Even if you somehow managed to convince a girl to give you a chance, you would probably end up hating and resenting her as well because she can't lift you out of your own toxic worldview.
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yungassed 5y ago
Lol 2 months? That alone tells me you dont lift, try like more than 2 years. And since you're saying its gonna work for you, I'll make the probably wrong assumption that you already tried it and are decently in shape with a nice haircut. In that case, if you all want to do is bang a a hot slut, just go on vacation to Bali or Vegas and bring some coke, it's like bears to honey.
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TwentyEighteen 5y ago
Precisely. It’s funny when guys attribute their success with women to their “game” or “alphaness” , when it’s their SMV doing all the work.
BigWeenus42 5y ago
^ All three usernames check out. Gtfo whiny faggots and go lift something heavy.
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TRP_Introspection 5y ago
Definitely something to keep in mind. Also can't forget the menstrual cycle and how it plays a role in female attraction.
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IvyExcess 5y ago
Figure out a way to become a leader of something - interest club, musical group, sports team, etc and leverage your status
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IvyExcess 5y ago
if you think you can, or you think you can't, you're probably right.
atticusfinch1973 5y ago
Zomg your life is over. At the age of 39 I started fronting a band and at 42 I put together a beach volleyball team.
You need to change your outlook and stop thinking it's too late. You have maybe 60 years left to do stuff.
BobbyPeru 5y ago
Oh man, this brought back memories of when I coached this beta Billy. He did four sessions with me, and all he wanted to do was argue, yet he had gone on four dates with one woman and didn’t even kiss her. After the fourth session, I closed the book on his case, and I wouldn’t have accepted money if he offered it for more sessions