Summary: Reaching the saturation point where your funnel of girls starts to overflow for easy replacements of broken plates and you ability to get girls is high enough brings you the true abundance.
Body:We talk about abundance regarding a lot here in TRP. Abundance is important because it automatically adjusts your behavior to more high SMV behavior. It weeds of most of the neediness and lowers the possibility of oneitis (careful, the danger for oneitis is always there).
When I started out spinning plates I wondered for a long time why I don't feel "fully abundant". It didn't matter if I had 2, 3 or 4 plates in rotation. Something was kind of missing because I still felt some level of neediness and couldn't be fully relaxed.
Now when the situation has been good for couple of months, I think I've understood what is the difference in spinning plates vs ... spinning plates - It's all about the saturation. You want to be high SMV enough with decent game that the cup is overflowing. What do I mean by this?
Funnel not saturated with girls: Spinning 3-4 plates - You have these restless thoughts that if 1 or 2 plates break, you have to go get more and it will take atleast 1 month to find a quality replacement and if you are busy - this may be pain in the ass because you don't necessarily have time to go out every weekend etc. Getting girls is more of a process for you and you have to spent energy and push yourself to do it.
Funnel is saturated:
- Spinning 3-4 plates but - Girls keep coming because here and there when you go out or do couple of DG openers, they are most of the time successful and your close ratio is high. You are not restless because getting girls isn't a wearing process for you where you have to jump from failure to failure for some time. If you don't have time to go out, you also have accumulated over the years a roster of past girls who you can easily msg to resurrect a replacement. You genuinely can pick which girl stays and which goes and you may even have couple of girls in a "standby list".
anrii188 5y ago
Well, what you said is basically to master your game and have a lot of potential plates. So it s a process and a huge investment in energy and time. Why the need for plates!! I find it as a copy and paste of a cultural behavior. True freedom from neediness for me lies from geeting the right conclusions which is shortly said: i don't give a fuck, i am not entangled to their actions, i seek happiness my own way without the need to be a slave to pussies.
tchower 5y ago
I'm hitting the gym twice today bro! Fuck it!
LifeMaxx 5y ago
Currently getting 100 matches a week on tinder thanks to 4 years of looksmaxxing. It has put me in this stage which is bitter sweet because you honestly DGAF about most girls.
Frenetic_Zetetic 5y ago
I applied abundance mindset to doing business instead of with women, and now that my business is booming said women flock.
Don't make women a priority.
Work on yourself and your career/business.
They will follow once you start succeeding.
You'll also have a legit reason to have a strong frame instead of having to fake one indefinitely.
Zech4riah 5y ago
Good if it happened for you. If we talk about money - high income made no difference in my woman life and I still think that it doesn't matter too much what your income is as long as you get along.
Only when you hit millionaire level income, it starts to makes a difference. Outside of that, other traits mean much more.
whuttupfoo 5y ago
Having a high income is different from owning a business. Just the title alone of being a successful business owner opens the eyes of women. The fact that all your money is made from you, rather than depending on someone above you, is a huge tell. The schedule is much more malleable and you can have more spontaneity in life.
Frenetic_Zetetic 5y ago
I guess I should stress it made the most difference in MY frame. Knowing I can afford pretty much anything has a huge positive impact on your attitude and outlook, and other people can feel it.
I was already 6'0" and I'm a personal trainer...so I might already have had an edge anyway lol.
Olga_Schmutzer 5y ago
So you already had abundance for a while, and after some time your abundance mentality developed!? No need to make this more complicated by giving it another name like 'saturation point'. ;)
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Forgive me the nitpicking. I understand your message completely! I'm in the same boat right now. Like somebody else also said: it seems to coincide with the anger phase disappearing.
Zech4riah 5y ago
No, I felt truly abundant when there was more women coming in that I could handle ie. funnel got saturated.
Olga_Schmutzer 5y ago
Then your feelings are more congruent with reality than mine, I guess. It took me a long time (around a year) to find comfort in the actual abundance that I experienced. I think the abundance mindset is not a prerequisite for true abundance, but the other way around. At least for me. Or the last waves of the anger phase were messing up my ability to really experience the abundance.
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max_peenor 5y ago
You don't have to spread out your time evenly. At my peak, I had one wife, one mistress, one girlfriend, two weekly visit girls, one girl that blew me at my office (yeah, yeah, I know) and between half a dozen to a dozen occasional booty calls--aka fragile plates. Each class got a very different experience from me. You can probably guess which didn't even get sex. Keeping a girlfriend and a mistress at the same time was the only thing that was tiring, so once the girlfriend fell off I never did that again.
monsieurhire2 5y ago
What was the weekly hour commitment to all of that, and over what stretch of time?
Also, who knew about knew and what was their attitude / demeanor?
Also, did your wife / mistress / girlfriend have their own side thing going?
Also, what is the distinction between the mistress and the girlfriend?
max_peenor 5y ago
The mistress and girlfriend split weekends and maybe once a quarter I'd spend the entire week at their place. Most people would have thought we were married since we spent all of our time together when together. I had gotten to the point in management where I was always working but hardly doing anything, which meant I spent a lot of time on the phone instead of the office. This is why you rarely see your CEO. This allowed me to have a lot of time with these two.
My two regulars would usually get two nights a week each, but I'd stay over only if I have a business thing going on the next day nearby. No "dating" stuff--just sex and maybe sleeping.
Blow girl was basically whenever I went to my main office, which was pretty random.
The fragile plates would be fill in the weekdays when I could slip away. The vast majority of them were collage girls with flexible schedules or working women in industry--most were probably attached, but I didn't ask and they didn't tell. If they couldn't host, be it at home or an office or something, there are a lot of hotels in the tech areas of the Bay Area that cater to horny office workers looking to slip away for a couple hours to fuck. I did indeed cross paths with people I knew--again don't ask, don't tell. In terms of time commitment, may a couple a week for a couple hours.
Most people could handle this schedule except when you have the top two vying for time. That was unsustainable for any schedule.
The plates were probably misbehaving as much as me, so nothing was ever said. The regulars both tried to upgrade, but it just never happened. They were as booked as me, I suspect and I wouldn't hear it. The girlfriend was a bit jealous of the mistress, who didn't give a single shit. This eventually led to the girlfriend bringing in another gal she'd been lez'ing out with to form a triad. That definitely increased her cut of my time, but eventually her friend betrayed her because she wanted me to herself. The whole thing went to tell.
There was a multi-year period during the dot.com bubble that I hardly ever saw LCF. She had some kind of boyfriend thing and then eventually a girlfriend. The former was viciously jealous of the latter. Never really figured out why they were a pair, but now I'm to the point where I no longer care. The girlfriend and I were longtime friends and remain so, thought neither of us see here hardly any more. She thought she was a turbo dyke until she found the right guy; that was definitely a pill moment for me, because I thought the same of her.
At one point, the mistress was married and I didn't even know it. She didn't have a ring and I saw no trappings of a marriage. It fell apart after six months (shocking) and I didn't find out until a year later. Our time together was for us and rarely did we discuss anything else.
Girlfriend came off a really bad divorce and some health issues. I was her first real thing since and she showed zero interest in others--other than the lea'ing out, of course.
I've written at length about this part before, but here are the highlights. I never did the romance/dating thing and I assumed my marriage went to shit because of it. I figured I'd give it another try. It was ok, but ultimately it isn't me--I'm an insufferable ally cat and a lot of gals seem to be a-ok with that. The mistress and I was entirely physical. We did nothing that involved spending money on each other; she refused any gifts even if just mementos. Just sex.
Though LCF did manage to get an invite to holiday dinner to her once, I suspect as an excuse to have her boy thing there too, and she actually accepted. This was fairly early in our time together so she was only 19 pushing 20 at the time. It was a super weird dinner; we invited a lot of other people. There is me, a 30 year old with a blonde bombshell 19 year old sitting next and acting very submissive and deferential to everything I do. Across the table is 29 year old LCF and her 22 (I think) weird boy thing who never opened his mouth. You could feel the confusion in the room, so much so because that's probably the first time some of them realize we were married, whereas others figured out that we weren't THAT married.
After dinner I left them to clean up and we bounced to go fuck.
The girlfriend absolutely refused to see LCF or even talk about her, though not like I tried, but they were actually acquaintances before we even met.
monsieurhire2 5y ago
Well, thank you for taking the time to reply at length.
In your opinion, what would you say the women shared in common in terms of their attraction to you? I mean, it seems like the mistress who never accepted any gifts, was probably genuinely into you, as in, YOU were the gift that she wanted, and that was more than enough. But I'm curious about your thoughts regarding all the random plates, etc. I mean, was it because you presented status? DGAF attitude? Game? Prospect of commitment?
Thanks again.
max_peenor 5y ago
Since a very young age I've been an imperious fuck. I like people to follow my rules and I don't care about theirs. It's just how I'm wired. However I was never evil about it. I communicate well with others. I am generous and thoughtful. So I got/get away with it. As an example, and I don't remember this, but I'm told when I was five I told my father, a giant angry kraut, that I didn't have to do anything he said. And stared him down on the point. He was so dumbfounded by this he didn't know what to do. Yet he didn't have to tell me what to do: I did my school work, I cleaned up myself and I didn't get in trouble with others. Fast forward to my corporate life--early on if there was any vacuum of control or leadership, I would just take over and start telling people what to do. I once went from a consultant to running an organization of 45 people in just a week, because the guy that was supposed to be in charge just wasn't doing.
I think it just highlights how women like controlling personalities. They complain about it, but they aren't really complaining about THIS. They don't like mate guarding. They don't like when you interfere with their feminine mechanizations. They don't like it when you get clingy. They do like being told what to do from someone that just does it without drama or hesitance.
monsieurhire2 5y ago
Ah, I see. Yes, this makes sense. Natural leader.
Yeah, most people hate any kind of responsibility or accountability because it involves bearing risk, which people are indoctrinated against in school. I mean, school is one big act of obedience, every day, day in, and day out, and the slightest deviations are punished, so now vast swathes of the population are risk-averse rule-followers... which is, of course, by design. Those that resist, become the leaders.... or wind up in jail, or fail miserably.
With regard to the mate-guarding thing, I would say that in this day and age, it seems like the main thing is, that if you want kids, make sure that they are your own, and then you've come out ahead of most people.
Another thing would be, no in your face, public cuckholdry. You can't control what people do on their own time, and in private. You can keep an eye out for it, and then leave. You can make it a boundary for leaving. But that's about it. This would tie in with people's fear of public humiliation and loss of public status.
Redpiller77 5y ago
Do you have a 10 inch dick? Serious question. I have never met a woman that refuses gifts (the mistress).
monsieurhire2 5y ago
If the relationship is based on love, or really good sex, gifts aren't necessary, as they are nothing more than tokens of affections anyway. I had an affair that lasted a few years, and she said it was the most fun she ever had not spending much money. We went to the beach, cooked meals, went to parks, went dancing, hung out. Just being together was rewarding enough in itself. Everything else was just window dressing.
She was drowning gifts and material possessions prior to me, and obviously it didn't fulfill her, though she didn't that would be the case, because before that, she grew up poor.
max_peenor 5y ago
No. I think that's how she boxed me. Women do that. They set up expectations and you are supposed to stay in there.
McVaghunter 5y ago
I always see guys complaining how spinning plates and getting new phone numbers/dates requires a lot of time and effort but the fact is if it does require you a lot of time and effort it simply means that your SMV is not high enough yet.
True abundance is when you no longer have to keep a plate just because it hasn't broken.
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0io- 5y ago
Just enjoy the being in love with the girl while it lasts. Maybe "true love never dies" but the experience of being in love is a temporary state like a beautiful day.
If you do simp out and get all soft and beta it will all come crashing down and re-affirm your red-pill ways.
If I were you I would spend the most time with the girl you like the best, and still see the other girls pretty often, but less often than your main girl. What you're doing now is working well. Keep doing what you're doing now.
Mangasbzo7 5y ago
"I'm falling hard for this girl, she seems wife material"
Lol its a trap. Wake the fuck up
aherrns 5y ago
Let's observe a minute of silence for the about to fall soldier.
sadomasochrist 5y ago
I think it'd be more accurate to call it a point of comfort. Most men have sex drives that far outstrip what they're able to accommodate. And I don't think we need to be autistic\binary about it.
The only men that are truly at a saturation point, where the amount of sex they can have at any moment and what they want are actually inverted (where sex on top far exceeds want) is basically the rich, famous and ripped.
The Phillip Defranco and Mystery situations are both great examples of very high SMV guys that show what's really up. These are guys with a lot of success that still showed there's work involved, loneliness etc. Imagine being Mystery before PUA was even really a known thing and still having recurrent crisis of confidence. Or Phillip Defranco and still sending out messages so cringy that random women would rather out you than hookup.
Maybe if you were an 80s hairband on tour, 90s rapper, etc. But evolution seems to have done a pretty damn good job of making sure getting to a point where your needs are effortlessly met is almost impossible.
Not that you can't be happy, comfortable, relaxed etc. Honestly I'm just taking issue with the semantics here. I think your takeaway\spirit is correct. But I don't want autistic\naive men taking this the wrong way.
And I'm sure some guys on here are probably cocky enough to claim every want or need can or is taken care for them indefinitely forever etc. But truth be told, I don't buy it because logistics are a mother fucker.
You could do it, but you'd just be picking up a part time job.
Make no mistake, you have to work the fields and even when the crops have good yields you know that there will be droughts etc. Plenty of stories of "everyone finding out about each other" and having melt downs, you get MeToo'd etc etc
Leaving scarcity mentality is just that. You figure out a lifestyle that doesn't make you feel as though you can't get your needs met. And I don't personally think you need to get yourself to a point or think about getting to a point where almost no men ever get to.
Sorry to pop bubbles here but few men here are even going to be Wilt Chamberlain. I think it's just more helpful for men to understand what you're going for is to just get out of that fear driven scarcity mindset and trying to find a sustainable way to keep that at bay indefinitely. And when or if the funnel clears out your sex drive is a tool to fill it back up, without that nagging fear that it won't in the near future.
Kurush559 5y ago
You ever feel overwhelmed and almost as if you've got too many things going on at once? That's abundance
Zech4riah 5y ago
Yes, and actually there is a little nuance related to this. When you reach this "overwhelming feeling", you must also accept that some plates start dropping because you haven't gotten time to see them in 2 weeks. At first you desperately try to keep every lead and plate aboard but at some point you just can't and you have to let them go. When you accept this, your mindset has refined one little notch more and you don't get frustrated anymore because of "missed opportunity".
omega_dawg93 5y ago
yep. and this is why i love my job. it involves offshore work, emergency work, out of state and international work and random assignments to fill in for others.
iow, i ALWAYS have a legit work excuse to flake on plates as i need to... working the ones who do better and pausing the ones who are starting to make demands a/o play games.
but i never stop recruiting more plates tho... got milfs and one very nice gilf in the current rotation.
DreamExpedite 5y ago
Hey man I realize that abundance is a tenet of TRP and I assume that it flows over from the dating aspect to other sectors of life. I've gotten pretty abundant with girls, because even though I live in a preeeeettty conservative society and I can't go out frequently because of college prep, I do regularly make out and stuff in the events I attend(fests, self improvement yada yada) . I'm pretty confused with what I should do at this stage because I know that confidence is not what you get before trying something out but after, and analogical to that abundance works alike, but I can't devote time and effort into that aspect of my life for now, so how do I like really consume and internalize this so that it becomes a part of who I am ?
Thanks man and may you absolutely destroy your next workout!
FereallyRed 5y ago
Six is my saturation point.
Otherwise it takes up way too much time and energy just for logistics.
Four is my comfort zone.
And I'm ok with that.
Somebody said you don't know true abundance until you need to turn down pussy because you have too much pussy.
Truth.
TitusDorsus 5y ago
I reached that point too in November. That was at the same moment I quit the anger phase.
The cool thing is that you don’t even need to play game or apply PUA bullshit. You just act and it’s enough. Ultra low investment, no money spent on them and you automatically filter the one who you see playing games.
This is a huge shift of power. The only way they can keep you around is by respecting you, being kind with you and having good sex.
Now, I see the other guys talking to them and I know I have no competition, you can smell the thirst and how beta they are. They may have a lot of attention, but most of it is low quality while they know what I expect of them and if don’t have it other will give it to me.
This gave me leverage to focus on quality over quantity.
So grateful to this community. Thank you brothers.
OutsideTheCage3 5y ago
You'll also really know it when you find yourself turning down marginal notches, which it sounds like you're doing.
throw_it_away_like 5y ago
I get regular great sex from my HB9 nymphomaniac ex-wife whenever I want it. Besides the sex, she is otherwise an emotionally abusive awful person to spend time with, so I limit my interaction with her to fucking as she is still deeply attracted to me.
Even though I get as much as I want from her, I still meet and hit on women all the time, but I have abundance mentality because I am happy with non-sex part of the relationship with my lady friends and I can avoid any moral or financial obligation to them because we aren't fucking. It's super fun to have a lot of lady friends you can hug, flirt with and get chased by and I can just not care if I get to sleep with them or not. I can even lower my standards a fair amount as long as they have a good personality, because I'm not really trying to sleep with them and just want someone flirty and fun to hang out with. Why bother trying hard to sleep with them when I've got my smoking hot ex-wife who will fuck all day.
What I've learnes is platonic love and intimacy can actually be a lot of fun if you're getting enough sex somewhere else.
whuttupfoo 5y ago
This is not abundance mentality. You would be able to find a woman who’s just as hot, and fucks just as much, without the emotional baggage.
throw_it_away_like 5y ago
Yeah, probably. I'm also fucking her for other reasons. Mainly to make the divorce go smoothly because she still thinks she can get me back.
ReturningSpider 5y ago
Underrated post. You’d like to think 4 girls in rotation would help you feel secure, but more often than not this scenario just leads to 4x the stress lol.
Especially if you’re trying to keep them from finding out about each other
OVOXOKing 5y ago
Why do you care if they find out about each other unless you’ve been pillow talking about being exclusive?
ReturningSpider 5y ago
In this particular anecdote one was exclusive and the others were side chicks... so the mission really was keeping the side chicks away from main and vice versa
whuttupfoo 5y ago
Let all chicks you date know you aren’t into exclusivity, and they’ll go along with it. When you act like you’re into exclusivity, you’ve gotta keep up that lie for the duration of the relationship, and cause yourself stress like you said.
BrownGummyBear 5y ago
I don’t think that’s a smart long term strategy. I like to be up front about my intentions and if they don’t like what I have to offer I just move to the next girl
ReturningSpider 5y ago
It’s not. But a man finds himself in stupid situations because muh dick lol
OVOXOKing 5y ago
You know we don’t condone cheating around here right? It’s literally in TRP handbook.
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nsfwalt900 5y ago
Cheap thrills every night of the week from tinder really wore me down after a year. All pussy feels pretty much the same.
ReturningSpider 5y ago
No pussy compares to LTR pussy (if you pick a hottie with good attitude, obviously)
Zech4riah 5y ago
You are most probably confusing sexual attraction (pussy) with emotional connection and bond.
If we talk about sex and pussy, I like the saying: "What is better than a good pussy? A new pussy."
ReturningSpider 5y ago
Nope. Good emotional connection is definitely a thing that can happen. Granted, sexual attraction is a prerequisite for it... but trust me, new pussy feels bland compared to good pussy + connection.
Not to say new pussy isn’t fun in its own right...
riggedved 5y ago
Don't forget the few seconds of "empty soul" feeling right after cumming on an ONS.
Spinning constant plates makes me feel empty AF.
But what the heck, this dick needs dump its cum somewhere.
Although agreed, nothing beats good pussy + connection.
I'm spinning this particular plate since last 4 months. This is purely an FWB for me, whereas for her, she is constantly trying to betafy me, and get even a drop of my commitment. A 7/10 (good looks, slim, a little on the shorter side, high up in the corporate ladder, adviser to a bunch of startups), in the beginning, the sex was normal. With time, as we connected more and more, the sex got even better. Last week we had absolutely mind blowing sex.
Then she popped up the "Where is this going" conversation.
Next session, meh sex. Because emotionally I was not able to satisfy her queries.
Zech4riah 5y ago
Exactly, emphasis on "+ connection".
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Mangasbzo7 5y ago
Tbh I've found you only really need 3 girls at once. 1 who is your main plate (most reliable one), 2 who is a plate you fuck for a bit of variety now and again, and the 3rd who is the failsafe plate who you fuck like once a month, and really just exists so you can still fuck in the event neither of the first two are available
As soon as you start to notice the "plate speed slowing down" pre-empt the fuck out of that shit and replace her ass
pieroit 5y ago
I reached that point many years ago. It didn't make me happy as being in love and being loved back.
Which of course pertains much bigger risks
LMM-GT02 5y ago
It’s all about risk adjusted return or as some may call it... seeking alpha.
I’ll stop.
Foobyx 5y ago
I wonder how guys here have so much free time to spend with 4 girls.
HoldDatCrew 5y ago
Lol I remember I had 5 plates going for a few solid months. It honestly sucked. I cut it down to 2 to just be able to handle life. There was one week in which I fucked 10 dif girls off tinder in a week. Put alot of miles on my truck.
Ochialoc 5y ago
Did something similar too. Spend about a month fucking as many girls as I could, mostly off Tinder. It was a great ego booster, but it fucks your life. Work and fuck was all I did. After about 20 girls I had no more sex drive, just continue because I could. Then I simple stopped since I could barely hold an erection. I just wanted to do other stuff.
Funny side note. Around 10 of those girls said after fucking that they had never done anything similar (sex on first date). Jesus, the anti slut defence is always on, even when they have cum on theirs hair and mouth.
HoldDatCrew 5y ago
Lol, I have heard that same sentence, "I don't usually do this on the first date". Actually, they may not, becasue most of their first dates are probably with incels who can't escalate or build tension. I just lauhg and go along with what they say, but continue escalating.
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Mangasbzo7 5y ago
Input I will put in here is that its likely you will regularly need to find new girls, bc I have found with a lot of girls when the initial honey moon period ends (usually 6 months max), they start acting up and taking liberties, so at that point its actually usually much more worthwhile to just find a new bitch than try and teach an old dog new tricks
mental_models 5y ago
these are good ideas
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Abundance is in part important because of the psychological frame. You're in a process oriented state, and you are making rational decisions, rather than emotional, desperate, results-oriented decisions... If we want to go full-nerd.
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but yea, saturation point is interesting
Nighthawkdragon8 5y ago
4 girls in your rotation is abundance, but not even close to saturation point. I think more than 10 girls gets overwhelming, personally (max I’ve had is 10, and I can’t imagine having time for more than 10 girls while meeting new girls)
Nighthawkdragon8 5y ago
Lol least humble brag I've ever made.