I just realized something, and I need your help.
I'm a freshman college student. In my room, smoking pot, watching YouTube videos Friday and Saturday nights eating Sheetz until past 2am. I'm doing all the things I enjoy because I'm an introvert, this is simply how I have preferred to spend my free time.
I've read TRP, and the most influence it's had over me is convince me to join my school's Boxing club and lift 3-4 times a week. I wouldn't say I'm unattractive, but I know that to get anywhere sexually around college, I could most certainly bear to lose 20 more lbs.
So here I am, browsing Snapchat. I vicariously live through them but secretly yearn to be in their place. I see these two girls, smoking 8 and 9, grinding at the newest club on the main street, and it dawns on me that I'm doing everything wrong.
I've gotten so many people's snapchats, which is virtually the only way to communicate in my university, and yet I know none of them, and they do not know me. I've grown strong from my physical labor to improve my confidence, and have achieved much academically, but socially speaking I am just another pot-smoking dorm rat, and I realize now that I am not satisfied.
You can tell me to get off my ass and cold-approach men and women, forge my own kingdom, and go clubbing solo and sober showing I don't need friends or alcohol to have a good time, but I've tried, and it's just awful; how going to a club by yourself makes you the anomaly, and that without a group, you are alone in the club.
Seriously, though, whose idea was that, anyway?
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My point is that I know I have not done enough to get what I want out of the college life. I am wasting all this time stuck in Monk Mode, lifting, smoking, gaming, jerking off, study, sleep, repeat. This is a monotonous life, and I want more, but to get started I need friends, which seem ever so rare these days.
I have rushed multiple fraternities, and the one I decided to pledge for put me on Hold this semester. I know the Fraternity life might be my only shot at climbing up the social ladder at this point, but Rush Week has ended and I'll have to see on that. This semester, I will continue to work hard on my body and mind-
But how do I build my social network from the ground up?
NorthernWarriorRP 5y ago
Some man hamster in overdrive here. You seem to be misunderstanding the principle of Monk Mode if you're still frequently indulging in mental masturbation (gaming,) neurochemical masturbation (rec drugs,) and literal physical masturbation.
Monk Mode as a conceptual process exists to help individuals train their internal mastery over mind and body (and "soul" or "spirit" or whatever other trash title one prefers to subsequently tack on to the subconscious mind in suspension of critical thought.)
Masturbation != Mastery
Continuing to return in solitude to simple, easy cascades of cheap dopamine only serves to further reinforce the subconscious psychological schema that makes you feel trapped. You stop to think critically about your situation, and it causes you anguish, yet in the moment of performing the aforementioned actions, your brain is pumped and primed for that expected dopamine hit. The subconscious cognitive dissonance this perpetuates is debilitating. "I only feel good when I do the things that I don't feel good about having done later".
Monasteries are not full of self-isolating, pleasure farming indulgence gluttons. That sounds more like a typical undergrad men's dorm. The titular monks live in self-isolation, intentionally denying themselves whatever pleasures they can live without, to better facilitate their unending search for some higher enlightenment.
Metaphysical bullshit aside, the critical component to be distilled from this is the prioritization of maximum effort, minimum reward pursuits. The "reward" in question not being the lifelong results of the pursuit, but the immediate neurochemical "rewards" of the given pursuit.
Monk mode is about breaking and retraining the dopamine addiction common to most young men today. It is about learning to derive pleasure from increasingly difficult pursuits, instead of neurochemically jumping from one overstimulated dopamine release prompt to the next.
With or without lifting, nutrition and style, a self-isolating, blazing, gaming, meat-tenderizing life is incel mode, not monk mode.
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MindlessCalendar 5y ago
Questions go on the asktrp subreddit. This isn't a main sub post.
[deleted] 5y ago
Join student groups. I was in a frat but groups can even be better in some ways because there's a specific interest that draws everyone to it, meaning you're more likely to be around people who have things in common , meaning it'll be easier going.
And give it time, and put yourself out there a bunch of different places/experiment. Something will click.
AsmellyFinger 5y ago
Holy shit, you sound like a shit show. You're in college with all that ass wherever you go and you're jacking off and smoking pot.
Get out and talk to a girl, if she seems interested in you then ask her out.
YoureSupposedToBeYou 5y ago
Start small. Find one real friend you vibe with and build from there.
Imperator_Red 5y ago
Join a fraternity or social club? College is the only place where I never struggled to maintain close social ties.
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GraveApparition 5y ago
That ain't monk mode buddy
Hoosierusch 5y ago
Getting put on hold for a frat sucks. If they take you next semester great but in the meantime I'd recommend looking at other groups.
The lifting and Boxing are a good start but mix it up with something else that requires more teamwork. There are a lot of club sports like Ultimate frisbee or rugby that could be a good thing to try. Are you religious? Than check out your local religious student group.
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Again college is what you make it and the fact you're figuring this out Freshman year is a good sign for making it a good experience.