I've had an over inflated ego that has been growing for months and months, ever since I lost my virginity back in November. After that point I felt like I knew exactly how to pull girls and I thought I was an absolute pussy slayer.
But ever since I lost my virginity, I've had absolutely no luck with girls.
Failure, after failure, I tried new things, new approaches, new ways of thinking, getting overwhelmed by my overthinking. My outer game is fucking abysmal. I can barely even approach a girl. But still, the ego was strong - I still felt like a sex god. But today, it was the straw that broke the camel's back. I was left red faced. This was over a text by the way. Absolutely pathetic. What fucking sex god gets red faced by a few pixels?!
Afterwards, I realised:
Fuck. I don't know shit.
There is so much more that I don't know.
Ha. I ain't a sex god. I'm a 17 year old boy who is still learning how to become a man, let alone how to game girls.
I feel disgusted that I was even giving advice on askTRP! Ugh.
I've let this whole situation get my head. And I didn't even fucking realise it for 3 months. That's another thing as well, I reinforced this whole sex god bullshit with the fact that I thought I was in general a humble person. Well shit. I'm not that humble after all.
Now, I've accepted that there were parts of my ego that I had, was completely wrong. I feel refreshed, I feel calmer, I feel more accepting to fail again, and try new things out. I feel more confident with who I am as a person. Failure is a such a beautiful thing when you recognise it and learn from your mistakes.
monsieurhire2 5y ago
What you need to understand is that:
Girls from 16-22 are at the peak of their SMV, and they are your peers, and so naturally, you are attracted to them, however....
You are low on the totem pole, because all you likely have to offer them is.... dick in the box!
Your competition is guys ranging from 16-60+ Yep, that's right, girls your own age are being approached by men who are NOT your peers. Wealthy businessmen. College guys with cars. Yuppies. Musicians. Actors. Celebrities. Thugs. Sports stars. You want a reality check? This 15 year old girl at my high school would get a fake ID, and go to bars down town and pick up grown men. No high school boys for her. Also, you are still competing with your peers. Do you even lift, bro?
Moral of the story: stop chasing the women and start building value and attracting them. Play the long game. You will get laid along the way. If you chase after them but fail to build value, eventually you will flame out.
Also, you're 17, so don't beat yourself up. You are lucky you have the internet. When I was your age, I only SUSPECTED this stuff was true, but I was constantly being gaslit by everyone. Now everyone can instantaneously compare notes.
This means that your approaches fail not because they are unsound, but because you are not seeing the bigger picture of ALL the other options the girl has. Think of all the older men who are approaching her at malls, restaurants, wherever she goes. That's why you're failing. You're up against way bigger fish. Yeah, you can get laid at that age, but it usually doesn't last because of hypergamy. Unless you're like a Justin Bieber, a rich kid, or one with prospects, you'll constantly be facing down the threat of more successful men trying to poach your women.
Giant-__-Otter 5y ago
Welcome to the marathon. Lift, game, frame.
INNASKILLZ2K18 5y ago
Arrogance is a killer. Humility and 'beginner's mind' go far.
KeffirLime 5y ago
It's a common occurrence, no sex all your life, then you bang a chick and you think the floodgates have opened.
It's good to ride the high, but eventually you come back down to earth and realize there's still work to be done. Good on you for taking a step back and self reflecting but don't lose that mindset entirely.
Confidence and self belief are beneficial, it just needs to be coupled with a healthy self awareness and solid work ethic. Keep it up.
ZachMeadows 5y ago
I was about to reply something along those lines. What you said is very wise.
Only 'problem' is, wisdom comes with age, as you experience life.
If OP really is 17, then he's still got plenty mistakes to make, and hopefully to learn from.
At least he's on the right tracks. I cannot say the same for me at that age.
TheTyke 5y ago
I agree with you. There's a reason so many philosophies based around self improvement include 'Learn from your mistakes and they are no longer mistakes' and variations of.
Being self aware, working to objectively understand what you do wrong or badly and how to improve it, is a really important skill. Ego is definitely an issue for pretty much everyone. I struggle with it a lot. Whenever I learn new things and feel I've come to a revelation of understanding, then I want to tell others and can be condescending or not articulate myself as well as I think I can.
It's important to respect oneself and be confident in who you are without becoming egotistical or narcissistic. Don't cling to false beliefs because you feel they are 'your' beliefs etc.
I'm glad you've had a positive experience come out of what could have been simply a negative. It's a good feeling too when you learn about yourself. We've all been there.
One thing I will say though, is don't put so much weight or value on casual sex and having sexual partners. I think there's been a derailing of TRP and MGTOW and all these movements. Where it has devolved into 'I can get X amount of women and have had X amount of sexual partners'. It should be about having a fulfilling and happy life.
Be a positive influence on the world, be happy and proud of what you are and what you accomplish. Have fulfilling and satisfying experiences and relationships with people. Don't succumb to the false pressure of buffing your N count up like it's a leaderboard you want to rank on.
Having 1 true and fulfilling relationship with someone is far, far more valuable than having 100 flings that go nowhere and only leave you with a feeling of ephemeral satisfaction.
TRP is a good resource to use to help navigate the field of modern dating and society. How to figure out who is worth your time and potentially IS relationship material. It has a lot of wisdom inside it, as many other similar forums do. But I think it's worth bearing in mind what you actually want out of life and relationships. If you do just want to smash some pussy, then do your thing and that's great. But it isn't a competition to do so. Use the resources such as these at your disposal to live a fulfilling and happy, positive and good life.
Good luck and much love.
keeponlifting 5y ago
He will not be able to find the type of fulfilling relationship you've described until he has been with enough women to understand the different types of women. And only then may he find a LTR candidate, if he wishes it so but I'm afraid that after gaining experience on the true female nature, he'll be appaled by it.
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novalentineforyou 5y ago
Always do your best to get a more realistic understanding of life and the effective way to live, rather than sticking stubbornly to your old ideas of the world and yourself.
[deleted] 5y ago
It's good that you're humbling yourself and coming down to earth, but don't be afraid of letting yourself have an inflated ego every so often. You should constantly practice confidence, just don't be a total douche about it.
[deleted]
IronManAlan 5y ago
Book recommendation for you - Ego is the Enemy by Ryan Holiday
[deleted]
kingofgambling123 5y ago
Pretty sure you are a virgin
tomrule 5y ago
do what i do. stop trying for the 9/10 and go for the 2/3. less rejection to deal with and a plate is a plate. your not going to marry them.
olimpicus 5y ago
I'm 35 now but i always dated cute girls my age in school. I was poor but good looking and maybe i had some decent game for my age i don't really know.
I had sex with some hot 16 yrs old when i was 18 i didn't wanna start earlier but i had oportunities with hot girls before and after. I like TRP but i don't think all girls fall for old guys with money or fame. I even have female friends and one of them is cuter and earn more money than her husband and no, she doesn't cheat. She is just loyal. But she is part of the minority of women i'd agree on that but most men aren't loyal either
olimpicus 5y ago
Some 16 yr old cute girls fell for some rich old ugly guy. I had sex with one of them anyway being a poor kid
DayGameChirality 5y ago
Dunno dude, I feel dishonest with myself this way. I prefer Blackdragon's rule on that - on a scale from Ugly, Average, Cute, Hot, go only for Cute & Hot girls.
THEdirtyDotterFUCKr 5y ago
go for cute and hot, be friends with ugly and average.
of course I haven't been 17 for decades so what do I know.