Just down below a poster listed out a set of behaviors that women use to take over the frame of a relationship and chain down a man's commitment. They include what I call Alpha Fucks, Beta Sucks
Nagging
Criticizing and shaming
Drama and Theatrics
All sorts of shit and compliance tests
Ever unhappy and not good enough
The courtroom - where you are on trial and you must be guilty, or her ego might die.
Getting him to work
However, just as men need sex, but also need a woman to respect and love him, women need commitment, but also need a man whom they can respect and be attracted to.
This is part of the betaization process and apart from genuinely low value behaviours in most beta husbands / guys, it is entirely politics of frame. Underneath the loving vibes and feels, our hormones mask the reality that both alpha fucks and beta bucks are essentially selfish in nature and are devoid of virtue (WTF is that?)
And this is the most important thing - the more she wins, the more she stars setting the narrative for the relationship, the more it validates your low value in her eyes, and the greater the contempt she will have for you. This will, it WILL, result in her eventually losing attraction for you and moving on.
The moment you agree to the trial is when you have already lost, because you will not win, not in her world, her frame, her rules. Her ego and emotions at that moment are only in a mood to inflict pain and validate herself. Be aware that her pain body (yes, women have it, I've seen it, often) usually comes to life in moments of extreme neediness and never allow yourself to get swept into that. Egos when triggered are utterly self righteous and rationalize their actions away, because if they're wrong, it just invalidated and diminished them. This is threatening and painful to the ego - very few women have any strength to let go of their egos. If it goes down, what's left of you? (or so it thinks).
You can be rest assured that an emotional ego will do everything to win. For all the talk of male ego, men tend to be more objective and truth oriented and this makes it easier to let go of their egos than women's sollipsistic nature allows them to.
The more her ego increases, the more her neediness and contempt, pain and hyper-reactivity increases, which is a feedback cycle. This will end in mental illness, because high ego and insanity are directly correlated. Don't believe me, look around. See for yourself - the modern woman. This is why trying to please her won't work - because her painful ego only increases.
If her ego becomes too needy, it can become a force of mutually assured destruction even.
I had an ex who was ax-crazy in running her "courtroom". I know what I'm talking about - most lawyers in the Supreme Court didn't have her natural talent. I lost, because it was a battle I could never win. She wasn't normal after a point - I realized the only way to win was to end it - she knew that and did everything possible If you let her have her way, she will create enough pain to kill the relationship.
Even if she doesn't overtly make your life miserable, she'll try to domesticate you into compliance. Unfortunately, a sanitized piece of life is a sterilized piece of life, and your mental castration will kill the raw, wild energy that triggers her sexual attraction and respect to you.
So what's the solution? The answer lies in your own growth and self awareness. You need to own your shit, improve your situational awareness, you need to know what's really going on. You need to stay stoic and not fall into her well of pain, you need to stop wondering what she needs and make her do what you need and what you know she needs. You need to shrug off the shit tests and compliance tests. You need wisdom to bring your wild horse under your command without castrating it - that way the raw power is ever available the moment you decide it's needed. You need to proactively set the standards for raising the kids. You need to let your family know that you are fully aware of what you're doing, and they should respect that. The more alpha you become, the less you will be castrated (although shit tests won't end, they'll become benign)
You need to keep the intensity of your energy and involvement with life very high, because the wild guy within you didn't die, he just changed form, but underneath that he's as wild as ever. Don't let the world forget that you own your wildness and their ideas to castrate you are not the solution.
A cat might make a cute pet, but only a tiger is held in awe. Because power. Because we respect and admire what is bigger than us. Because something greater than us makes us humble and snaps us out of our ego. When we have escaped the ego, the better side of ourselves emerges. Women are by nature far more reactive than a mature man - if a man knows this he can play her like a piano rather than breaking his head over wondering what she needs. A moon needs a sun to humble it, simple.
Wisdom, not castration, is the solution to managing your wild animal well. As a man you are already wired for wisdom more naturally than a woman or a child. Use it. Be a wise tiger, not a foolish neutered cat.
If you can use your relationships as an opportunity to get more aware, stronger and wiser, you have won the war, even if you lose the battles. Good or bad, happy or miserable, you will always find an opportunity for this one thing, to grow and become more aware, and I strongly recommend you to learn this art. This will ground you on a foundation that can't be shaken easily. People only shake you to the extent they can get away with it.
The more needy you are for them, the more they can have power over you. Do not let your sun become her moon. For e.g. A man's emotional state that comes from a point of abundance is not something that needs his woman to make it what it is - it is energized by it's own energy. She only has power over what you commit to her. When you do not commit anything, she's powerless. Leave your needy ego at the door, and you will have more power and abundance than you can ever imagine.
Only when a man realizes this does he even realize how much power he had the whole time. He must put the right price on it, sex is cheap, commitment is not. To own your commitment even when the state laws and courts are against you requires a man to overcome the primal fear of death and loss - this enemy is only within. Fear makes him needy. Fearlessness is the much harder path, but it is freedom. A man needs spirituality, surrender and awareness for this reason (not religious, religion is just a betaization machine, but real spirituality knowing how the universe works and cutting down the false ego and it's illusions).
Every man comes with one more job in his relationship - cutting down her ego. You can't learn to cut her ego down if you haven't learnt to cut down your own - part of Red Pill is to realize that life's laws are bigger than you, and that itself brings down your ego to a point where positive transformation is possible. And you're not the only one who needs that. It's almost certain these days that she needs it far more than you.
The more her ego goes down, the more her respect for you will go up. Part of the reason why she goes into an emotional meltdown when she tests you (and when you pass the test) is that her ego did diminish, that too at a moment where it was rather enjoying the party, and this is painful to her at first, but when she's calm and more aware she respects you the more for it. It is actually the best thing for her ego to go down, it will allow her natural femininity to come out. Her own abundance will emerge, and she will learn gratitude rather than bitch about how life's always unfair and how she's the only victim.
The more her ego goes down and the more her respect increases, the more her hamster will justify your actions than her self righteous expectations - women really can't get rid of their hamster, so what happens is that her hamster works for you instead. Without a massive pruning of the modern woman's ego, it's foolish for a man to expect anything of worth for the price of his commitment. And the process only starts when a man acknowledges and embraces his role as the guardian of commitment and lives the life where he can put a high enough price that she needs to earn.
If your relationship doesn't survive that, it wasn't authentic to begin with. It's selfishness and ego could not hide forever, and eventually the truth had to come out. Better to be honest with the red pill and swallow it once, than to be deceived for life and ever frustrated. Self transformation raises your energy to another level, changes the very vibes of presence and transforms your relationships and your life. Those who are honestly incapable of staying with that will drop away. It's good for you down the road, and good for them, because in the process their egos probably received a sound thrashing they did not expect. They may keep doing the same thing over and over again until they wake up. In the meantime, it's time for you to live that high value life.
monsieurhire2 5y ago
Stopped reading at "just as men need sex..."
Sex is a luxury. You don't "need" it to live. It is not a necessity. You can lead a full, meaningful, productive, happy life, as a VIRGIN, if you want to. Hell, you don't even need to jack off, though that's a harder act to pull off.
One might argue that human contact makes life more bearable, but many people don't even enjoy it that much.
The notion that men are like animals who need sex, and women aren't, and that women only trade sex for provisioning or some intangible benefit is flat out bullshit. Their appetites are way more ravenous.
[deleted] 5y ago
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UnleashYourLife 5y ago
I mean yea,
But isn't it better to go in-depth for those who missed the point in the first place? I get it you know the topic from A to Z - good for you, but what makes you think others do?
curiouschipmunk1010 5y ago
I stopped reading 1/5 of the way... She's testing you...
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FereallyRed 5y ago
Something here doesn't sit right.
The premise should not be cut her down, but to raise yourself and maintain yourself in the superior position. Her sword is foam. It's play.
Ties into the idea you're automatically conceding power by giving her your shield to swing her sword at. No target, no game, she can't win. Take away your target. The king decides when the games begin.
Otherwise this is just Rian's Manipulations post
and my tiger analogy.
SKRedPill 5y ago
No, you don't get the subtleties of bringing down someone's ego and all the contempt it can generate when it gets big. Boundaries for example are a good way to put limiters on what's not acceptable. Raising yourself works precisely because her ego comes down when it looks up. Simply passing shit tests can bring it down. Shrugging off her episodes also robs her ego of validation and causes it to go down.
More than one man here has seen what contempt feels like, and more than one man has seen what happens when her ego goes down and she starts to respect you.
NobodyP1 5y ago
I have a huge ego and I keep reading that a ego is bad. But it helps my confidence? How do I lower my ego but keep my confidence
SKRedPill 5y ago
Outcome independence and fearlessness.
Belief is always good to have, but when you reach a certain intensity, you don't even need belief. The definition of ego is somewhat subtle and it refers to a sense of incompleteness and lack of abundance inside oneself.
I was reading an article about Ayrton Senna the other day, and one thing other drivers said about him was that he was so fast because he has no fear of dying.
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teabagabeartrap 5y ago
any advice how to do it? good example stories?
I don't want to go from zero to hard destroyer from one second into the other, only because I read something. Want to start slowly, building it up.
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SKRedPill 5y ago
Go to mrp. Those guys fight the betaization process everyday and are much more experienced at turning their lives around.
And read and implement the sidebar!
RandomlyChosenTitle 5y ago
In a word, frame.
Like OP said, check out the MRP sidebar. What you're talking about is being the oak, which is possessing all the requisite alpha qualities but with enough beta sprinkled in for comfort. The latter isn't necessary for spinning plates but is vital in a marriage.
oooKenshiooo 5y ago
Exactly. You need to mercilessly weed out her bullshit. There will be a point in time at which those things can be rationally discussed, whilst at the same time being a stimulating, bonding experience. But depending on how feral a woman is, and on how little control she has over her own bullshit, responses may need to be more primal.
whatdidshewrite 5y ago
How do you cut down her ego?
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GarethBaleWannabe 5y ago
I was thinking of making a similiar post on this, based on my own personal experience where my girl tried to betafy me.
She was trying to take control of life decisions such as where I live, in Toronto and how to spend my money when we didn't even live together. Her choices was the complete opposite of my financial, career goals and it pissed me off and I struggled to hold frame. I altered my course but I struggled to convince her I was doing the right thing, I argued using facts and it was not working. And you brought up a good point, her ego was way to inflated, because she wasn't at the same stage of life as I was when I was making those decisions, so what gave her the right to call the shots.
We would fight about this for months and I tried to be nice about the situation, but I finally snapped and called her out on being an obstacle in my goals and her inability to recognize when she doesn't have the knowledge to make certain judgement calls.
Now here was the thing she told me that shocked me. She admitted while crying to being afraid and insecure that I would find someone better and she as still struggling to get a foothold on her life and she felt like I didn't respect her when she raised her "concerns".
I told her that was bullshit, that I have been pushing and encouraging her to be better and to keep trying. And that if I become a better more capable person, she be being with me will become better as well if she stops being stubborn and arrogant and embrace the change.
She apologizes profusely and ever since then our lives and our relationship improved, the shit tests dropped, she listens and respects what I tell her.
So what I am postulating is that since betasization is her way her way of getting rid of the insecurity of you going after another girl by manipulating you to kill your attractive traits and commit to her, I think the best way is too lay out how exactly she will fit into your life on your terms and how she will benefit. This way, you maintain the leadership role and she remains attracted to you and you kill her insecurity. Most women aren't actually taught how to keep a man that is on the rise or at the top, pushing forward and has high amount of self-respect. Hence why they tend to get alpha widowed. So your probably going to have to show her how yourself.
Now going back to your point of killing the ego, I heavily agree b/c society has a way of hiding the realities of life and modern day women tend to buy in to the lies society tells them that actually degrades your overall quality of life. (Consumerism, cock carousel, wasteful uni degrees). Few people out there will tell them the realities of life until reality hits them, and some don't accept it when it does. So most often then not, they will come at you with this stupid ass frame, and we are going to have to break it if we want a LTR, if we can't well... on to the next one.
SKRedPill 5y ago
For most people, they are not thinking and feeling. Thinking and feeling is using them - it's wasting their energy on senseless BS that pretty much guarantees to set them up for failure. Women can be especially wavery, and sometimes a strong man needs to put his foot down to snap them out of it.
In my case none of this worked because my ex was BPD and her mind was out of control.
Eldudearino89 5y ago
BPD women are out of control. It's even better when their whole family doesn't think anything is wrong with them, AND don't hang out or help them. It's amusing. Then it's even more amusing when the person they cheated on you with is now their boyfriend haha poor guy little does he know......
[deleted] 5y ago
Betatisation process is inevitable in a relationship. You give up alpha in a commitment. It's the nature of the beast.