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- Hide Preview | 104 Comments | submitted 2 months ago by Darthmorelock [Post Locked]

Good morning Reddit.

This is a long one. TLDR / Conclusion at the bottom.

Preface:

This post is not an easy one for me to write. This difficulty primarily stems from the primary target audience : myself. There are, however, a few major reasons why I am choosing to post this online, among them accountability and internet points. However, the main reason is if my experience can help even one other person wake up from the stupor of hedonism, then it's worth it. If you find yourself with strong goals and desires you fail to act on, browsing the web for hours on end, stuck in the loop of work - staring at a glowing box - not sleeping enough - repeating, and constantly carrying around immense guilt to yourself about not achieving your goals, then I urge you to read on.

Context:

I've been staring at screens for as long as I can remember. Some of the most vivid memories from my childhood come from Runescape, Smash Bros, Age of Mythology etc etc. But I was always a "bright" kid. One who they placed in the advance courses, I never had to study or take notes. All my friends and teachers called it a blessing, but only a single teacher recognised the real problem - it was too easy. After years of being able to cruise on my talents, I had deeply ingrained habits of procrastination and pleasure seeking. I did not have to work for my rewards. So long as I showed up to class, I would ace the tests. I learned to fear hard work and always search for the easy way out. My study habits were about as bad as a rich kid's spending habits. Instead of harnessing and cultivating my natural talent, I used it as a crutch.

This all meant that I could play video games and go outside with my friends for 99% of the time I wasn't in school, all the way up to my senior year of high school. That year I took several AP courses, and nearly failed all but two. The very first time school ever demanded anything challenging from me, I failed to actually put in the work. By this stage, my habits were minted in steel.

As I got older the games got better and better, to the point that I rarely went outside at all. The summer after graduation, I started my new addiction. I started smoking marijuana daily only months after trying it. While I do not believe there is anything inherently wrong with pot, it gripped me completely. Upon arriving at University, I got myself expelled by selling it. In hindsight, I was likely to fail several classes and lose my scholarships anyways. For the first time in my life, I had a taste of what my hedonism led to - A life of depression and stagnation.

Since my expulsion, I moved to Scotland to go to University. I have to live in the country for three years to establish residency. I've been here for two, and both of those years have been spent almost entirely going to work, smoking weed, and staring at glowing boxes.

Unfulfilled Goals

Despite my terrible habits, I have always been ambitiously minded. I have a strong desire to be a writer, be it film or books, and have had this goal for the past 6 years or so. During my last two years of high school I was part of one of the best writing program in the states for highschool students. It was a wonderful opportunity, and I learned so much, but this too, I feel I wasted. I half-assed nearly all my assignments, only did the required reading half the time. The only mechanism I had for entering a state of flow was deadlines

Since graduating, I often find myself in a daze thinking back to those two wonderful years. Yet in my more clear moments of thought, I realize that by idealizing the past, I'm condemning my future, gripped by the fear that I will have peaked in high school.

About once a quarter, I go into a fear-fueled state of minor progress. I'll read some beneficial book like The Shallows or Mastery. I'll fill out the 4 Hour Work Week dreamlines, detailing what goals and wants I have. And for about a week, I'll improve, before slipping right back into my high gaming stupor.

Waking Up

When it still in school, I also picked up the habits of all nighters. I taught myself that boring sleep could be replaced with hours and hours gaming and videos. I would often miss morning classes, but that never amounted to much more to letters being sent home. Now, in the real world with a real job, I've been an hour or more late 6 times. Time before last, they said I'd be fired on the next. Somehow, I'm still here, but I can feel the thin ice cracking below my feet. One more all nighter - oops I missed my alarm - and I'm sacked on the spot.

That is what started this fully honest self assessment. I later looked through my own steam library in horror, browsing the hours played numbers. 1200 hours in Kerbal Space, 400 in Team Fortress 2, a few hundred here, a few hundred there. I thought about the ten-thousand hour rule, and realised had I been working on writing, or learning any skill, for that amount of time, I would be well on my way to becoming a true expert. Instead, I can build a pretty rocket ship.

Most recently, I put myself through extreme pain for absolutely no reason. After Christmas break, I got back home and had roughly a week left before I had to go back to work. Most of my friends had the same, and so I began what would become an insane gaming marathon of approximately 80 hours. At the end of it, I got into argument with someone in the minecraft discord server and then realized just how long I had been sitting there. I had not eaten in nearly 40 hours. I quickly got off the computer, ate something, and lied in bed. My extremely sleep-deprived brain began to have intense hallucinations: auditory, visual, and even tactile. I convinced myself I was dead, and stuck forever in a waking state, never to sleep again. I was still wired into the game in my brain. When I finally did fall asleep I became instantly lucid, still playing games in my dreams, unable to get the rest I longed for.

This intense experience was my breaking point. At that stage, I started to change. I now find the act of playing games/smoking to be dis-pleasurable. I am very conscious of time wasted now, yet that still didn't break the habits, but it planted the seed for the commitment I'm making today.

Conclusion / Commitment / TLDR

If you've read this far, I want to thank you for hearing my story. I hope if you find yourself in a similar situation, this helps you recognize from example that short term pleasure leads to long-term pain, and visa versa. I'm only 21 years old, and already I'm filling my life with regrets

This is the part where I make a commitment. I am tired of wasting time, and wish to do so no more. For the next 30 days, I'm going cold turkey. I vow to stay completely sober, and to not use my computer. (outside of work) Further, I will not browse unrelated websites at work (99% reddit).

After the 30 days, I will allow myself to game or watch movies on weekends only. During my abstinence, I may only relax/unwind by going outside, speaking to real humans, reading books, etc. If I need to use a computer for a legitimate reason, I'll go in to work early or go to the library, rather than using my own game-filled PC.

If you reply to this with any comments or pm me, I won't see it. Reddit is part of this too, and I won't be on it for the next 30 days either. I'll post an update in 30 days to let you guys know how I got on. Thanks again for reading. Wish me luck.

[-] [deleted] 155 Points 2 months ago

Going to get downvoted for this from drug lovers. But smoking pot will do more damage to your motivation than having an hobby playing games. Just prioritise the things that need to get done. Other than that, why not enjoy playing games? It's an hobby. One that provides a lot of joy in a world where most people are obsessed with their smart phones.

[-] someonesopinion6969 39 Points 2 months ago

Agreed and i fucking love smoking weed. its the problem for me that brings out every other unhealthy habit.

The reason why this guy and most guys here want to give up games is because we are wishing to build another life/better life and clearly playing virtual garden keeper won't help us persist in the goals we actually think about achieving instead of completing a set task that someone else has created for us.

​

Videogames are just a virtual work simulator, better to find something else to work on

[-] masterpiece00 26 Points 2 months ago

And movies are escapism and modern jobs are wage-slavery etc - Not like there are many alternatives, this is the world that has been developed, why fight it.

[-] throwaway-aa2 15 Points 2 months ago

Disagree. Movies are more of an experience, whereas with games, the goal is to make you feel like you've accomplished something. A movie can give you an experience in around 2 hours, and you can watch multiple of them, and continue on with your day, and serve as a great way to connect with other people (women even). It's not uncommon to log hundreds of hours into a single game, and it's very uncommon to find valuable men or women who play them, or talk about them... and that's from someone who still actively plays video games.

[-] masterpiece00 8 Points 2 months ago

Maybe games these days - but back in the day game developers used to employ STORYTELLING with life lessons if you looked and listened - Max Payne was great.

[-] TemporaryPhilosopher 3 Points 2 months ago

Look there are great games that you could argue are educational.

Examples-- Civilization, Factorio, EUIV, CKII, Total War, & Cities Skylines.

But largely you have an innate desire to achieve things in a given week. And by achieving things in this game, it fulfills that need to achieve. Once you've done some Runescape tasks or optimised your factory in Factorio, you may not be able to motivate yourself to do worthwhile boring tasks in life.

[-] throwaway-aa2 1 Point 2 months ago

I bet if you asked 10 people about Max Payne, at least 6 will only remember it for the slow down time (gun time) effect, with the guy jumping to the left / right and shooting. I don't argue that the game had a good story (again, I play video games) but you could watch like 6 of the best movies of all time, in half the time it would take for you to get half way through that game, and come away with a lot more stories told to you, complete with life lessons.

[-] masterpiece00 1 Point 2 months ago

MP was just one example, but how much you take away from anything is dependent on your taste. After one game - Max Payne I wanted to be a writer or comic book artist, hence it on it's on had the potential to point my life in a different direction.

[-] throwaway-aa2 1 Point 2 months ago

I get that. Again.. I'm not saying video games don't have value. It would be one thing if I was a non gamer saying this shit. I've played video games all my life, and still do, and there are some really great games that are definitely worth your time. My thing though, is they're a dime a dozen, and most teenage boys play video games because they're forcefully kept (by society, by their parents, by their schools) in a situation where they can't go out and achieve.... so this is why they play video games, watch anime, etc. It's their testosterone driving them to compete, and achieve. Video games are the metaphorical hamster wheel, that allow us to feel those feelings of competition, and achievement, without working hard in real life. Of course there are problem solving skills, building reflexes, and great stories / art in this video games. But I think the medium in todays day and age, does more damage and harm than good.

[-] menial_optimist 1 Point 2 months ago

Generally, the farther you go back in video games / movies, the more the developers / creators clearly respected the assumed intelligence of the viewer. These days it's been discovered if you make something dumb enough to be consumed by the lowest common denominator you will sell well, and this is reflected in all modern movies and big company video games.

In the video game world, only small indie studios creating games for niche markets ever approach respecting the individuals intelligence.

[-] jreed11 6 Points 2 months ago

It's like with anything—everything in moderation. Video games can be amazing outlets for learning. When I was younger I used to play role-play games (mainly political in nature) online with thousands of other kids. I learned how to write through those experiences, and that skill has put me ahead of many of my peers in college. That's something I took away from "gaming."

Had I been glued to my chair all day and every day, however, whatever benefits I would have accrued would have been offset by the ramifications of playing so much. But so too can movie-watching become a dangerous affair. There are people out there who do nothing but watch television.

Addiction doesn't discriminate in terms of its venue—you can become addicted to anything.

[-] throwaway-aa2 5 Points 2 months ago

I will forever disagree with this angle... I've heard it a million times. Yes you can get addicted to anything. However, there are some big distinctions to make:

  1. Some things are more addictive than others... and "everything in moderation" has always been a soundbite that sounds good on paper, but isn't actually reality. Plenty of people are ridiculously successful by not doing things in moderation. The Rock never had candy his whole entire life, and had it on some talk show. Some people have lifted their whole life. Some people have "not" been just about moderation... and I don't feel like our goals here are to achieve a "moderate" life. Also, cocaine in moderation isn't a thing.
  2. Some things on paper are better for us, so it makes more sense to develop "addictions" (or affinities) to those things instead. If you gave me a "choice" of what I could be addicted to, it would be working out, approaching women (not women themselves, mind you), working on my career, and learning (reading books, etc).
  3. I think some people are really too caught up in their own "story" to see that, by and large, people don't get the experiences you do from video games. First off, you mention video games when you were younger. Yeah... it ain't sub 2000's anymore homie. Games like that back in the day were a dime a fucking dozen back in the day, (and yes, I played some of them... typing of the dead, and couple of math games too), and they're even more rare today, and not even remotely known. You can always pick your cute little exceptions, but keep in mind that it is the exception. Plenty of people spend tons and tons of times on games like Call of Duty, Halo, Overwatch, and more.
  4. So in terms of television: I'd argue that television is far far more useful, for a couple of reasons, one being that television is a much more social activity than television. Now... don't get me wrong, I think television isn't the "best" use of time (really depends... movies are definitely better) but much less absorbing, and a much more social activity in todays world, than gaming.
  5. The type of person that makes this post, doesn't share your experience. Let me put it like this: this post is like a fat person saying they want to cut desserts out of their diet. You're the normal sized person saying "well just eat in moderation". One, you don't have problems with the issue, so of course it's easy to give advice from the frame of your own reality, rather than recognizing that someone is probably suffering much more than you are as they have a stronger addiction / affinity to it than you probably do. Two, you make a lot of progress as a fat person employing a stricter diet... that's how it works. Three, most people who say "eat whatever you want in moderation" are usually the people that aren't the rare breeds of perfection in society (in this example, in terms of your body)
  6. The reason that video games are worse than most modes of media, is that, unlike anything else, it gives you a sense of satisfaction and accomplishment. It gives you dopamine and allows you to "pretend" at being successful. Games are literally developed around the idea of making you feel like a hero, feel awesome and accomplished, and convincing you to play more, and buy more. TV and movies definitely try to give you positive and fulfilling experiences, but you're a third party, watching that experience.

​

[-] weag5l 2 Points 2 months ago

I think you are both missing the point. Games, media, and other drugs can become problematic because they are a meaningless escape from reality. This is true of addiction in general. The important question is not "how many hours should I spend gaming." The important question is "how many hours do I spend in MEANINGFUL contact with other humans."

I mean, if you are a pro gamer or something, then that's different. It's a profession. You could also study film or read great works of literature and use these later in life to help you grow your mind and think. More importantly, to be able to discuss these things with other people.

[-] throwaway-aa2 1 Point 2 months ago

You could also study film or read great works of literature and use these later in life to help you grow your mind and think. More importantly, to be able to discuss these things with other people.

This is my point exactly. Movies and TV are about giving you an experience, and usually that experience can be thoughtfully shared with others. Video games, the experience as it relates to people, is more centered around "oh shit did you see that headshot?". There are no clubs where people come together to discuss the "stories" and "experiences" of video games, nor do they really help your mind grow and think, at least not comparatively to other forms of media.

​

[-] dendankdame 1 Point 2 months ago

ever heard of catharsis? movies and theatre also accomplishes something in ourselves in the shoes of a protagonist.

[-] throwaway-aa2 1 Point 2 months ago

I understand that. But again, not in all movies (not too many video games have bad endings, otherwise they don't justify the effort). And I think when it does happen, it doesn't have the same impact. Most video games are a 10-40 hour journey, and it's not like a "oh I got a girlfriend" thing. It's usually a "I started from nobody, ended up being someone", and they use that to propel the gamer to invest time, which usually culminates in selling a bigger payoff, and accompanying dopamine spike.

I don't completely disagree with you: movies aren't perfect either. But video games are on another level.

[-] dendankdame 1 Point 2 months ago

yeah. I see your point but, if you compare it to books time is not an issue. can you compare a movie with brothers karamazov? it is not about how long it takes to finish it. it's the experience. games medium has very long way to develop.

but when it does it'll change the industry forever. like it or not, computers will be used in "story telling". movies are tomorrows theatre. like matrix it was not possible in 80s but cgi is like one more camera today.

3d modelling will be much more photorealistic some day. search for maya, 3ds max renders for 3d people. when you shoot movies with computers only computer games will become just interactive movies. and there will and should be interactive books too. but whole computer interaction with story telling is way too new and can't change ancient ways overnight.

[-] eccentricrealist 2 Points 2 months ago

I'd consider some games works of art. Bioshock, for example. There are games like Stardew that are meant for you to grind, though, and I'm wary of those

[-] throwaway-aa2 0 Points 2 months ago

Key word: some. Bioshock is a much older game, and a dying breed at that. But this is the point: you can't reach and point out the "couple" of video games that are those experiences. You act as if we don't know about those... we do. But you act as if, anytime makes a post like this, recognizing that they have a problem with video games, that they're talking about those specific video games you're pointing out. They're not. They're talking about the general gaming experience. So they'll go buy Bioshock, God of War, etc, finish those games...they're like what... max 40 hours if you don't engage in the grindy side quests? What's next after that? The same ol search for the dopamine that video games give you continues? That's the point here. This isn't a post from someone saying "hey where are the video games that are experiences"... this is a post from someone who knows they spend a lot of time on video games, not on these types of games, and they know it is ultimately not fulfilling, but yet they still play and chase those dopamine highs. Saying "oh what about Bioshock" is you not really understanding the general gamer mindset. Again, I'm saying this, as I own and play video games... but it's one of those things where, I generally find that I'm better off not doing.

[-] someonesopinion6969 2 Points 2 months ago

That's like saying i'm going to dress as a girl because xyz does it.

You have a choice to live your life staring at computer screens completing pointless tasks, or you can choose to build a life that you want to lead. it's about real world accomplishments so you can actually have a life worth feeling happy about instead of becoming a schlub who's only achievements are getting at the top of a leaderboard

[-] masterpiece00 1 Point 2 months ago

Not really, that's just ticking off societal boxes and responding to your cultural programing - I'll get approval of dad or this girl if I accomplish X, I'm now a valuable person because I graduated from Z college and have a degree. I'm with an 8/10 and guys would die to fuck her, I'll be somebody when I move into that house and make 6 figures.

[-] Flynn-Lives 1 Point 2 months ago

Sounds pretty defeatist and boring to me

[-] Brixylian 2 Points 2 months ago

In 1977, "Combat" on the Atari 2600 blew my mind. Even as a13-year old, I knew that it was an irrevocable game changer. Watching the development of gaming and gamers over the decades has been a marvel. It's an art form that often contains incredibly immersive narratives and fantastic design.

I adore gaming, and weed. Started as a youth and have never looked back. I'm retiring in two months at 55, having achieved the bulk of what I set out to do, so many years ago.

Gaming and weed aren't the culprits. Though they are easy targets for excuse or blame. However, they're a symptom and not the proximate cause.

Those who escape via gaming and/or weed to their detriment, do so because they are either unhappy with the state of their lives, or are teens with the liberty to experiment and fuck up. Fix the underlying cause for one's unhappiness or discontent and gaming/weed disappear as the problem.

For those who are relatively content and accomplished gaming and weed merely take the edge off living a disciplined life. There are way worse vices in this life that consume and ruin. Remember, "the cake is a lie."

[-] Aroundwork 1 Point 2 months ago

Fuck man, what if you want to become a Twitch streamer or work in the video game industry? That's the deep conflict I'm having with myself right now -- video games began probably as a form of escapism and certainly were addicting for me at various points in my life. But I do genuinely enjoy them and have an exciting life outside of them as well.

[-] someonesopinion6969 1 Point 2 months ago

I dont think there is anything wrong inherently with wanting to work in the game industry or having a career streaming, the problem becomes when you spend all day and have nothing to show for it. empty meaningless dopamine, completing tasks ie videos/playbacks will have some meaning to it as you will have successfully completed an assignment etc

if you can finance from your interests then you'll never 'work' a day again

[-] flipwater 6 Points 2 months ago

But smoking pot will do more damage to your motivation than having an hobby playing games.

I disagree. Games are designed to be as addictive as possible. They hinge on the most vulnerable parts of our brain. Companies literally hire psychologists for this stuff.

Meanwhile weed just happens to be some plant that does interesting things to our subjective experience. It can be habit forming, but it's not as directly addictive as video games.

My opinion is also based on my personal experience of course. I've found video games to be massively more addictive than weed. And draining on my motivation. I can be a stoner and still be incredibly productive in general. But video games wire our minds to seek out similar low-effort low-reward activities.

[-] [deleted] 5 Points 2 months ago

Everyone has their own vices and will hamster why it's less addictive. Meanwhile people will say games are bad but watch TV and be on the phone all day

[-] flipwater 4 Points 2 months ago

watch TV and be on the phone all day

I mean those things are addictive as well, and low-value. I just finished reading Deep Work by Cal Newport (highly, highly recommend) and he put it into words really well. Shallow work (easily repeatable activities, from browsing Reddit to sending work emails) is almost everywhere in society, and our brains have been wired to constantly seek out similar shallow activities. To the point where even when we try to go into deep work (distraction-less and immersed, difficult but high-reward activities) states, if we haven't been training to do so, it's nearly impossible to stay focused.

Video games are even worse than the average shallow work because they've been specifically designed to get us hooked, so we clock a lot of hours and our brains end up heavily rewired. And they're really effective at this. So our neural circuits fire again and again as we continue to play the game, becoming more and more hardwired. Netflix is the same, or maybe even worse because you literally don't even have to lift a finger once it starts—not even to play the next episode.

And here's where the key difference lies with weed: you can do any activity while you're stoned. So it depends how you use it.

  • If you smoke weed while chilling with your friends on the beach... dope, have good times and develop/maintain social skills and mental health
  • If you smoke weed and zone into a long code sesh... dope, get some deep work in
  • If you smoke weed and play video games all day... well shit
  • If you smoke weed and binge on Netflix all day... well fuck
[-] heartbroken_nerd -1 Point 2 months ago

If you smoke weed and zone into a long code sesh... dope, get some deep work in

You can't state crazy stuff like that and not give at least a few examples. Point me to at least a few people who worked like this as they were building a successful career (a business if it's an entrepreneur) or I call bullshit.

If you smoke weed while chilling with your friends on the beach... dope, have good times and develop/maintain social skills and mental health

Wow, abusing a drug to lubricate (for lack of a better verb) your social mind (as well as the people around you, effectively creating a circle where everyone's under the influence of a substance) is now called "developing/maintaining social skills".

It's like saying that drinking alcohol when you go out to meet girls allows you to develop/maintain your pick up skills.

[-] flipwater 4 Points 2 months ago

You can't state crazy stuff like that and not give at least a few examples.

I can do what I want lol. I'm not writing a scientific thesis. I have multiple stoner friends who are incredibly productive and love to get lots of work done while stoned. I like to have long code seshes while stoned, depending on what the code is like. Believe whatever you wanna believe though, I'm not trying to convert anyone into a fellow stoner coder.

If you do want famous examples of productive stoners, though, think of musicians.

abusing a drug

Not sure you understand what "abuse" means, if you think smoking weed is inherently abusing a drug. Or maybe you just don't know much about weed.

lubricate

No, the purpose is not to lubricate one's social mind, the purpose is to have fun.

"developing/maintaining social skills"

Picture a stereotypical group of highschool stoners who smoke weed together. You think they have better or worse social skills than the group of nerds who stay indoors playing World of Warcraft everyday? A huge part of socializing is the ability to have fun, joke around, laugh, connect through nonverbals, etc, all of which can be (and usually are) done while stoned with friends.

It's like saying that drinking alcohol when you go out to meet girls allows you to develop/maintain your pick up skills.

You're acting like I said weed improves your social skills. I didn't. I said smoking weed while chilling with your friends improves your social skills. Yes, you can develop your social skills while drinking or smoking weed, the two are not mutually exclusive.

[-] ImNotSue 6 Points 2 months ago

This is something I think is important nowadays. How you use your time is just as important as what you spend it doing.

I stopped playing time-sink games as much as I could and divided my time into two categories. Playing games socially with friends, and playing games for myself for the story and experience. I tend to gravitate towards games I can finish in a scant 10-25 hours and walk away with a concise and complete experience. This is like isolating yourself with a fiction book, no more or less a waste of time but with the same worth of diversion.

Move away from games that mean to give you a never ending pit to pour your time into. If you are playing online multiplayer games by yourself, be very careful. At what point is your time worth secluding yourself, for just another round? Worth not having a new experience? The 50th hour? The 200th? The 1000th hour? A thousand hours spent alone on a single repetitive experience sounds like a waste of time and often, but the same time spent playing with your mates, your old college buddies, your family? Balance it carefully of course, but there is value to that.

There is no difference for any other activity you may engage in that, in excess, can be a detriment to your well being.

[-] [deleted] 2 months ago
[-] [deleted] 1 Point 2 months ago

Not really unless you're a buddhist level 9000 monk you'll only replace them with other habits. You can say that replacing gaming with more productive habits is beneficial but to what end? It's all subjective anyways. As long as you've got a roof over your head and have food on the table everything else is optional

[-] Your_Coke_Dealer 2 Points 2 months ago

Agreed. I’d say both weed and video games are fine in moderation, but weed sneaks up on you a lot more than video games. Video games may waste your time, but it’s very easy to budget your time as soon as that becomes a problem. Weed you won’t know exactly how much you’re wasting because it turns off your motivation even more than it kills time

[-] BeatriceSantelloCute 1 Point 2 months ago

For years I have been debating just getting a flip phone and an ipod. I am much better without ny phone and today I just feel like smashing it to bits

[-] DayGameChirality 1 Point 2 months ago

That's a huge generalization. Dota addiction has been worse than heroin or any other drug I've tried in my life.

[-] [deleted] 1 Point 2 months ago

My gaming addiction hasn't killed me. Hasn't hindered me in life. I still make a lot of money to have all the freedoms I want. Not that I've ever done drugs though.

I just see guys in Red Pill hammer on how 'muh gaming is bad mmkay n unproductive!' when its all subjective anyways. And when you replace gaming you're only replacing it with another vice.

[-] DayGameChirality 1 Point 2 months ago

Drug addiction hasn't killed me either. But gaming addiction had hindered me more than I could imagine.

My point is far from "gaming is bad", it's relative and subjective just like you said. In my case, Dota was free, easily available on my computer, very stimulating and rewarding. Drugs, in comparison, weren't free, weren't in my room 24/7 and weren't as socially accepted as gaming. I could play 16h a day and my mom or friends would only mention it. In comparison, if I banged meth for 16h a day for weeks with no end, I don't think I'd go further than 3 days without raising firm concern.

[-] [deleted] 1 Point 2 months ago

I can understand that. For me my gaming addiction is fun but not debilitating. It doesn't stop me from getting the important things done. I guess I shouldn't call it an addiction but it's my main hobby I love it beyond most things in life.

But that's rather based on experience. For you it might be debilitating to the point it damages your life. I suppose anything can be destructive if it gets in the way of getting the important things done.

[-] magx01 1 Point 2 months ago

Not that I've ever done drugs though.

Yes you have. They are called dopamine and serotonin.

[-] nofaprecommender 1 Point 2 months ago

Weed actually helps me get focused and motivated. I think games have a lot more harm potential (for me, anyway, I believe everyone who says weed just turns them into couch potatoes, but for me it’s focusing and energizing—everything becomes interesting so it’s a lot easier to complete unpleasant/arduous tasks).

[-] SidewaysCircle 1 Point 2 months ago

I get addicted to video games very easily. That's all I did as a kid and now in college it is detrimental to everything trp says.

Weed on the other hand, more specifically dab pens, help me focus during class for some reason. My focus is terrible otherwise I will literally find myself sweating if I focus for too long to the teacher while sober it is crazy.

[-] [deleted] 2 months ago
[-] xgozax 1 Point 2 months ago

It’s fine when playing games is a hobby but for some it’s an addiction. For some smoking can just be a hobby but that is a very fine line to walk because I can also get lost in complacency if I don’t discipline my smoking. Pretty much if you have tendencies of an addict anything can become a negative. If it’s manageable you just gotta learn your own triggers and learn discipline.

[-] aosdnffoia 35 Points 2 months ago

Respect man, best of luck to you

[-] OutsideTheCage3 20 Points 2 months ago

Yes. For most guys video games are a waste of time. They're okay in small amounts, like other forms of leisure, but for many they become substitute reality.

[-] infurno8 17 Points 2 months ago

Hey, well first of all I wish you the best of luck, second I recommend you go to the stop gaming subreddit. I think it would be better for you to stop in increments instead of going cold turkey all at once. For me, it's quite easy to stop gaming but not going on Reddit is basically impossible, but the hardest part is stopping reddit. I've been trying to cut back time spent on Reddit by actually doing my homework and coding.

I'm also 21 and we're reaching that point where if we don't start really pushing towards our long-term goals in the next 3-5 years, we're setting ourselves up for a lifetime of mediocracy. And in my eyes, the worst thing a man could be is mediocre, I don't know about you but I'd rather be dead than mediocre. It all stems off to how much you really want it and no one else can force you to make a change except yourself. I have a friend right now in University for Engineering and this guy doesn't go to any of his classes and sleeps like 10-16 hours a day, it's really fucked up and he knows it but no amount of bitching will help someone that doesn't want to be helped. I've known this guy since grade 7, so around ten years now, and he was doing really well about two years ago when he was working 3 jobs at the same time, smashing bitches, and working towards his goals of getting money and a sick car. Nowadays, for some reason, he decided to go back to school and is now directionless and really lazy. An unmotivated man isn't a man it all, take a good look at yourself in a mirror and tell me if you really deserve to smash bitches and earn money. If the answer is no, and it probably is, then you've got a lot of work to do. But isn't there a saying on TRP? A woman is born but a man is forged, THIS IS YOUR CRUCIBLE MY BROTHER, and you either live or die here.... Good luck and hopefully I'll see you with me at the top in a few years.

[-] Thalimarcus 8 Points 2 months ago

My extremely sleep-deprived brain began to have intense hallucinations: auditory, visual, and even tactile. I convinced myself I was dead, and stuck forever in a waking state, never to sleep again. I was still wired into the game in my brain. When I finally did fall asleep I became instantly lucid, still playing games in my dreams, unable to get the rest I longed for.

Reminds me of that Jordan Peterson argument that only through supernatural events can we get rid of addiction (e.g. Cigarettes)

[-] shaggyctes88 7 Points 2 months ago

I have been on denial many years, but I have comed to accept I'm a porn addict, been No-Porn, Nofap a few weeks now, luckly I have an LTR and a job to keep me straight on. Good luck man! Keep your head up

[-] Lubomir1994 7 Points 2 months ago

I have had 94 (real actual number) jobs at the age of 25. I have tried around 8 times to stop the internet (i browse from waking point to sleeping point, 16 hours a day) cold turkey but i couldn't. My nervous system is so fucked from gaming that I am tweaking from times to times and have panic attacks.

​

Also read on internet addiction, current brains scans prove that it's worse than heroin or alcohol addiction.

[-] AnakinRebornRage 1 Point 2 months ago

I have had 94 (real actual number) jobs at the age of 25. I have tried around 8 times to stop the internet (i browse from waking point to sleeping point, 16 hours a day) cold turkey but i couldn't. My nervous system is so fucked from gaming that I am tweaking from times to times and have panic attacks.

How did you manage to find 94 jobs, what have you been doing? And what do you do on the internet that last a whole day

[-] Lubomir1994 1 Point 2 months ago

Agency temp jobs in the UK. You can get one literally in the next 2 hours and all the requirements are not to be disabled.

Well, games, forums, videos, tv series, porn, gore

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[-] Menchstick 5 Points 2 months ago

I'm 20 and I recently realized I was in your exact same state. Every single thing you said resonates with me, from start to finish. When I get some clarity of mind and look at those 5000 hours spent on videogames I wonder where I'd be now if I'd done something of any value whatsoever.

The only good thing videogames have given me is English, in Italy it's pretty rare to find someone who can go past "the cat is on the table" and "I don't play the piano very well", so in the time I usually spend playing games I'm doing some freelance translations for about a cabbage and a half a day.

When I was in highschool I was miraculously able to get a great routine, wake at 6, sleep at 10:30, while also hitting the gym 3/week. It lasted for 3 years before I fell back into my trashy habits, this time reading fiction 8 hours a day instead of videogames.

It feels incredibly shitty to know that going back to the gym I'll have to start from scratch, having lost 12 KG of weight due to skipping meals for whole days and walking like a madman.

I know you won't read this but venting does help sometimes, even if no one is listening.

[-] BawbtheGoat 5 Points 2 months ago

Only 400 hours in tf2?

Fucking ameteur.

!also holy crap this hit close to home!<

[-] JohnWangDoe 3 Points 2 months ago

The only game I play is Squad. I am always a squad leader, this allows you to develop leadership skills while enjoying yourself. Coordinating with 48+ people, logistics, defense, attack, taking suggestion from squadies, understanding how to maximize the abilities of each player, and so forth. That is the only game I allow myself to play at the end of the week.

[-] battmaker 3 Points 2 months ago

These details match my life to an eerie level of detail. (But I didn't move to Scotland and didn't smoke weed quite as frequently as you.)

If you are like me, you will regress and read these comments. I hope you don't. But if you do, have some solidarity. It's a battle and hedonism, which is what I also describe it as, is a mighty foe.

I have a great family and a beautiful daughter now who have helped to compartmentalize my hedonism. But I sure haven't beat it. Good luck to you sir.

&#x200B;

[-] DeGENZerate 3 Points 2 months ago

The reason you are making this vow in a drawn out post is because you are masturbating to your sobriety. You combined GLO's Pleasure Palace with Destroy Your Dick December. There is no hope for you and this post has made it clear that you are fucked with your efforts to fellate yourself in this whole process. Have fun weeding out in 30 days

[-] Vikingcel 8 Points 2 months ago

I'm suprised you are able to be coherent and despite the squirt of armchair psychology, I agree with you.

[-] DeGENZerate -12 Point 2 months ago

Glad you were able to reconcile your feelings about the Red Pill reality like a woman. Freuddle me this: Perhaps since you are an incel the masculine feminine duality that normally exists between man and woman instead manifests itself within you in the form of female like behavior.

[-] Vikingcel 4 Points 2 months ago

How would a man reconcile his feelings about the Red Pill reality?

[-] DeGENZerate -4 Point 2 months ago

Men with testosterone don't get caught up in their feelings about how the Red Pill aka reality is conveyed. Thanks for playing the game darling

[-] Vikingcel 2 Points 2 months ago

How can you tell if someone has got caught up in their feelings about how reality is conveyed?

[-] DeGENZerate 1 Point 2 months ago

Nothing I say to you logically will change your mind because you are using it to confirm your not having sex mentality. The red pill has chosen and they choose incel

[-] Vikingcel 4 Points 2 months ago

I just want to know how could you tell.

Are you trying to arouse emotions because logic doesn't work?

[-] DeGENZerate 2 Points 2 months ago

Logic doesn't work on you. If it did your name and posts wouldnt say incel, but they do despite all of the information both I and the Red Pill bring to you. You are a lost cause and bring otherwise hopeful guys into your loser frame. The only reason we are having this discussion is because an incel doesnt get to have an opinion in the Red Pill and these Red Tards still dont understand hence why they upvote you

[-] ZeppKfw 1 Point 2 months ago

I feel like you can amass thousands of followers into your cult. Just do that man.

[-] [deleted] 2 months ago
[-] ex_addict_bro 2 Points 2 months ago

Post to make you feel good while you accomplished nothing ... with a relapse plan.

F-

You’re going to play Fortnite in a week or so.

[-] [deleted] 1 Point 2 months ago

Best of luck friend, I quit playing videogames in December after my birthday. Glad to see others doing the same.

[-] Neo_Trunks 1 Point 2 months ago

Much love my dude, this shit is truly hard to shake off...I'm atarting an experiment myself, abstaining from videogames, porn and social media for a week; and replacing it with cold showers, movie nights with family and learning japanese. All this while working out, of course.

At least it's a start. Good luck on your journey!

(P.s: If I ended videogames forever today I wouldn't even be mad! I got the opportunity to experience Red Dead Redemption 2, and that game will live with me until the rest of my days)

[-] lokilis 1 Point 2 months ago

It's amazing how similar this is to my own story growing up. My addiction isn't quite as bad as yours though.

I am very conscious of time wasted now, yet that still didn't break the habits, but it planted the seed

I'm at this stage. When you come back in 30 days, let me know how it went and if you still think cold-turkey was the proper approach. And tell me about what other things you found to do in your spare time.

[-] ya_stepdaddy 1 Point 2 months ago

I had to realize that life is the ultimate game for me to quit video games altogether. Time spent doing anything increases our experience. Reaching a goal is gaining a level. I can relate to you in so many ways man. From playing RuneScape endlessly to never having to really work hard in school and then fucking up in college. It’s depressing... and weed with video games only lets you escape from that reality. Turn around and look that monster dead in it’s eyes and just change who you are ashamed of. It will take time. But it won’t take as long as you think. Good habits over time will make you a happy man. Kill your current self that is keeping you down.

[-] VinterBot 1 Point 2 months ago

When we reach our lowest point, we are open to the greatest change.
Good luck.

[-] eccentricrealist 1 Point 2 months ago

Funny thing is once you've found something that keeps you busy you'll just naturally play less. Between work, school and exercise I've little time or energy left at the end of the day. I still play, but it's not all I do.

[-] kingofgambling123 1 Point 2 months ago

PUSSY!. Just joking. I play games and smoke weed just as much as you do and I'm a 25 year old virgin with no ambition =(

[-] Pilliam66 1 Point 2 months ago

You know what you need to do right?

[-] 2comment 1 Point 2 months ago

Note to you in 30 days:

Instead of telling yourself what you won't do, you should fill the void games attempt to do. Games aren't addictive just because it's new tech but because it tries to fulfill old, primitive urges via new means. Competition. Achievements. Activity. Thrill of victory and possibility of defeat.

The reason games suck people in is the effort bar is lowered for similiar rewards. It's like cooking for yourself vs fastfood. Everybody knows the damned fastfood is garbage, but it's so convenient that they rather slowly waste away on that once they are hooked rather than cook for themselves.

Find something fun to do outdoors that does the same functions, especially on the damn weekends. Sun can get pretty damn addictive, we need it for vitamin D. So can activity. Some sport. Solo or partner or team. Doesn't matter exactly which. Then continue on with it consistently. Milestones and irl improvement will replace gamification/achievements.

After a while, mashing buttons in video games will feel really hollow in comparison especially if you cold turkey that for a long while.

[-] [deleted] 2 months ago
[-] NobodyP1 1 Point 2 months ago

I enjoy video games but not to that extent where I forgo sleep. Good luck though

[-] SidewaysCircle 1 Point 2 months ago

This post is really about to save my college self thank you

[-] Captain_Quick 1 Point 2 months ago

This is some good stuff. I'm going to be excited to see your update.

[-] Standgrounding 1 Point 2 months ago

Gaming inherently isnt that bad.

I tried to "rip it off" before 2 years but I felt so strikingly lonely and empty I couldnt help but fall back in.

So instead I decided to consciously limit it: Max 3 hours a day and ONLY with friends. Making gaming a tool for socialization rather than competition/relaxation tool.

Also, do the replacement: gym, job(i love my job), actually god damn studying, etc.

I am a 19 year old and real shit made me get my shit together.

[-] Insendi 1 Point 2 months ago

I quit cold turkey runescape 2 weeks back, had my cousin change the e-mail and password. while at first it was hard it honestly become a lot better for your life. keep at it brother

[-] -Fidelio- 1 Point 2 months ago

I did exactly this last year. It was really fucking hard and really fucking worth it.

[-] [deleted] 2 months ago
[-] TotalPigeon 1 Point 2 months ago

Doesn't it just bring a tear to your eye? The sad game addict upvote circlejerk going on for this thread, I mean. You're all pathetic. But seriously, have you heard of a diary? Could you maybe get one, use it, and spare us the life story? You aren't important and nobody here really cares.

If you have a point to make from your life, get to it and make a lesson, caveat: after you've actually seen success from changes and have some actual points to make. You've not contributed anything useful here, it's just wordspew. You don't even have the merit of having a lofty goal, and further it's not one related to sexual strategy (in theory the whole point of this board...)

Good luck with that shit anyway, you'll need it. Without any real replacement activity plan and the balls to actually force yourself completely cold turkey until the habits are replaced, you'll slide right back in before you know it.

[-] IntersteIlarCat 1 Point 2 months ago

You're going cold turkey on your soon to be former addictions, which is excellent. But take heed: find yourself something else to do. Something interesting. Maybe something you've never done before. I know you wish to take up writing, but your brain might not be interested in doing anything else than what it's been doing--so maybe throw a curve-ball at it. Take up hiking. Or cycling. Or birding. Something outside if possible, away from where you spent your obsessed days. Something with incremental goals. I rode this far or this fast today; I added a bird to my life list today.

[-] redvelvet_oreo 1 Point 2 months ago

Best of luck to you. Everyone has their vices. I believe true mastery of ones self control is once you over come your addiction truly you can learn how to take pleasure in these small things with out over doing it. Merely a pleasurable reward to your self after accomplishing something whether it be small or big. I use to drink alot. It look me 3 years to really master not drinking daily. I dont want to quit cause I do enjoy beer or a whiskey with buddies the difference now is I can have one or 2 and not drink again for months with out any cravings or need for it.

Video games is something that hits home to alot here. I always treated video games as sort of a enjoyable fictional novel. I love story driven games but I do have the few online games I like to waste time with every so often. I just never understood how people can tank so much time into them though. I think the longest I ever put into an online game was 300 hours over a span of 3 years.

[-] SnowmanPacific 1 Point 2 months ago

Entering college I sold my high powered GPU for my gaming PC so that I can't play games and have never looked back. Godspeed. Vidya has destroyed the young.

[-] NikolaGeorgiev 1 Point 2 months ago

After I stopped playing PC games in high-school, I tried playing couple of times during the years after. It gets boring after 1 or 2 hours.

[-] CensorThis111 1 Point 2 months ago

You are better off making commitments to do positive things, than trying to commit to NOT do something.

If you make a hole, your instinct will scream at you to fill said hole. Build a castle, don't dig holes.

That being said, developing discipline through change is always a useful activity.

[-] [deleted] 1 Point 2 months ago

Thank your for sharing your story, we need you awake and active for what is about to happen. You can do it, I quit dipping after 30 years. It was awful for the first two weeks then it got better and now two years, I'm no longer a slave. Fight the urge and face it down. Now it is time for winning.

[-] VisiblePlan 1 Point 2 months ago

Well, you're basically me. glad to here u got through it, it always takes a great effort but it's worth it

[-] AshyLarry27 1 Point 2 months ago

Video Games do NOTHING but get the "Subconscious Reward System" and "Dopamine Hit" going.

When you play a video game, you "win" things, you "win" small battles, the storyline "progresses," your team "wins."

All the dopamine from these "WINS" create the illusion that you're being "PRODUCTIVE." Your mind thinks things are going well. It thinks you're the hero in the game, and you're makng the most of your life, saving these imaginary creatures from the bad guy. It thinks you're that MVP QB finally bringing home a championship to your favorite team. It's all going great.

Then, the power button goes off. The reality hits, you just wasted an entire day staring into a screen and pushing some buttons. There were no ACTUAL productive things done. You're back to your boring life where video games take the center stage because you're not actually a successful QB, you're not some bad ass warrior saving the victims.

You're just some guy who needs to go back to the gym, get back in shape, start attacking your life goals and purpose. Doing REAL productive things. Getting REAL productive "wins" going. Something that is impacting your REAL life.

Good Luck man!

I honestly believe all the dopamine hits caused by fake wins from video games and social media are a big reason we have this large increase in some of the mental health issues out there.

[-] TommyTheThird 1 Point 2 months ago

Appreciate your post. But i really thought you were addicted to day/night game

[-] subrosa215 1 Point 2 months ago

Hey Darthmorelock,

Thanks for sharing your story! It takes a lot of courage to realize and admit the problem. I am in recovery myself for drinking and drugging but I was also addicted to video games as a kid. I think that you've taken a big step in your recovery, but I will warn that it's very difficult to beat an addiction cold Turkey on your own with goals like "for the next 30 days". Myself as well as many other of my fellow addicts have made the same proclamations and failed miserably. I've gone 30 days or more without my addictive behavior and then relapsed right back into my old ways. Alan Watts calls it banging the drum to find the fugitive, in that making these lofty goals of a month or more of nothing can backfire. That's why we make a point within 12 step groups to say one day at a time. Instead of being so future oriented we deal with our addiction in the present on a daily basis. Whether we realize it or not making goals like 'for the next 30 days' can lead to a yo yo binge of deprivation and hard relapse. This is also known in our 12 step community as "going it a lone" or doing it on your own. When I used to make those big announcements to the world of quitting x y and z cold tukey, it was always done on my own and thru delusions of self control. I failed over and over. There is a saying that the opposite of addiction isnt abstenince, but rather authentic human connection. Sense of community in healing addiction is of utmost importance. This is a place where you can share your authentic self warts and all while being accepted. I recommend finding a local 12 step group for ITAA. Here is a link www.netaddictionanon.com

[-] [deleted] 2 months ago
[-] magx01 1 Point 2 months ago

Man I hope you got some time in with the Resident Evil 2 remake before you committed to this because it's fucking AMAZING.

Kidding of course.....sort of. Kudos to you for attempting to gain control over this and the good news is at 21 you have SO, SO much time left ahead of you. It's not over yet, even if you stumble a few times on the path to betterment.

[-] AfricanBushDoctor 1 Point 2 months ago

Everything in moderation, too much of any thing is bound to have adverse effects.

[-] mseand 1 Point 2 months ago

I thought this post was about doing pickup (GAME) at first phew

[-] sumZy 1 Point 2 months ago

Why would you get scholarships if you failed your AP classes?

[-] SwoleBenji -1 Point 2 months ago

You could just monetize your gameplay, be it through entertaining others, selling an in-game currency, or (assuming below age 23) professional gaming in tournaments and contests.

[-] masterpiece00 -7 Point 2 months ago

This post is pretty intense for such a small thing -Nothing wrong with playing games, just cut down a little.