I've learned over the past 4 years that humans aren't black and white, we all want different things, but there are some constants that will never change. Here's a constant, feminine attracts masculine and vice versa. A truly feminine woman will NOT be happy with a feminine guy.
Okay, we all know that, but struggle with another problem now...How to be masculine.
This is where the light bulb went off for me.
I was reading through the top posts on this sub and came across a gem. "Women are attracted to certainty".
This law flows through everything us men are trying to achieve. It's why we go to the gym, it's why we work on speaking with deeper voices, it's why we stand up straight, it's why we try to be calm, it's why we cold approach, it's also why we use dread game. All of this is to show how certain we are. This is the same as confidence.
Why do you think we read so many self improvement books? We're all looking for certainty, trying to believe in ourselves. This is also why we speak confirmations to ourselves. We're trying to find confidence in ourselves.
What does all this entail? For me, it means I should start today. Fake it till I make it. Accept myself fully, speak and take action with certainty. Breath certainty, exhale certainty....Did I mention certainty?
Now that you know this, think about all the actions you take and things you do that are bread out of uncertainty. For me, I talk too much and joke too much....Why? Because I'm uncertain whether or not others will like me or not if I'm myself. Those are a couple of my problems, though there are a few more.
Now, I know I didn't lay down a game plan for you to follow, I just passed on some obvious info that some of you may have missed like I did. Just understanding this has really helped me out a lot. I can't stand the gray area, and this knowledge has made my life a little more simple. A little more black and white, just how I like it. It sums up most of the principles we hear here.
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Don't give a fu*k
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Have solid frame
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Don't talk too much
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Agree & Amplify
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Text for logistics
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Make strong eye contact
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Lift
- Etc...
All of this is summed up like this....Find certainty within yourself, and express it through your actions and body.
P.s. Again, apologies for the format of this post, I'm on a mobile device and it's difficult to place bulk lettering etc...
[deleted] 5y ago
i propose an alternative: don't give a shit about uncertainty. act according to what you value and what you want in your life. uncertainty is just something you experience in your head, and is as relevant as you make it out to be.
RedwallAllratuRatbar 5y ago
I love masculine women. High iq, little irrationality, good genes for future kids. Dem talks
omega_fat 5y ago
Broad shoulders, smokes, swears a lot, could drink me under a table any time, and best of all, fucks me with a strap on.
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Sir_Distic 5y ago
Can we ban people for using clickbait titles please?
JaspersChest 5y ago
Not a click bait title, atleast, I didn't intend it to be
[deleted] 5y ago
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JaspersChest 5y ago
Did you read the post? Or read the headline and skip to the bullet points? I summed the bullet points up with one word, that's what this post is about.
abramN 5y ago
so much of TRP boils down to self-integrity: know who you are, ACCEPT who you are, follow through on reasonable self-improvement goals, and above all do not allow others to define you or your life goals. You set your own destiny, and action based on that realization will draw like-minded people into your life. Letting your shortcomings define you, or pedestalizing ANYONE (not just women) will make you feel and act like a lower-value PERSON.
jonpe87 5y ago
a negative aproach: Woman are not attracted to insecurity... the moment you think: "Am I enough?" or "I'm enough." you lost.
Robster25 5y ago
Sorry, but I think there is no substance behind your post. You should explain your points.
E.G.:
Have your own opinion and be true to yourself. Don't change your opinion just to impress a girl.
You get solid frame by knowing who you are, by following rules you have set for yourself, by having standards and not taking shit from anyone. By being happy with yourself and by knowing what you have to offer. You have to know your own worth.
Depends entirely on the situation. If you are telling a story, you have to talk much. But don't talk just to talk, but because you are making a point.
That's only one way to respond to a shit test. You can completely ignore shit tests, too.
Because you are giving away too much information about yourself what will make you boring in her eyes.
Lift for yourself only, not for girls. I lift because I don't like to see a fat fuck everytime I look in the mirror.
This list is way too unorganized...like throwing some random points out there. I would appreciate it, if you would've taken the time to make a proper post. Thx for your effort, though.
ghosts_of_me 5y ago
Those 7 bullet points were not meant to be the substance of his post.
absolutelynp 5y ago
Yes and besides, he states in the very beginning what the substance is, that certainty stands behind it all. I can work with certainty mush better than with the plain "just be confident".
JaspersChest 5y ago
As I said above, this post isn't a guide or a manual. It's basically an attempt to show the underlying reason for everything that we do. I personally hate how unorganized things seem to be. I wanted to find the roots of the tree, the reason why we do what we do, and it seems we do what we do so we can reach a state of unwavering certainty/confidence. I also use certainty as a standard that I match all my actions up against. If what I do doesn't show certainty, I don't do it. If I can't speak about something with certainty, I don't speak. If I'm uncertain whether or not I can hold my own on in a fight, I lift and take martial arts. I want everyone to strive for solid ground and confidence in their abilities.
Robster25 5y ago
Certainty takes practice. You are always uncertain at the point of the beginning a new hobby/job/whatever. I think what you mean is persistence.
JaspersChest 5y ago
Yeah you need persistence, you have to learn, but don't go into a new hobby with your head tucked down. All the great men I know take on new challenges with their heads held high and with great confidence that they'll master it. If you're gonna try something new, don't be timid, take it head on with confidence that you will figure it out.
scissor_me_timbers00 5y ago
File this under: be irrationally self confident.
Being the sperglord philosopher that I am, I’ve come to realize that certainty in most domains of life, especially in terms of amorphous things like identity, is rare. It’s rarely rational to feel certain about stuff. But uncertainty is so psychologically uncomfortable that for your own good, and for attracting women— be irrationally self confident.
JaspersChest 5y ago
I like that, I like it alot
misterrbro 5y ago
For every 10 seconds a man speaks a woman speaks for 60.
monadyne 5y ago
Item #1 on your list actually trumps everything else on the list: don't give a fuck whether other people like or dislike you, whether they think you're talking too much or have solid frame... or anything! Don't give a fuck! Ironically, projecting the fact that you couldn't care less how people react/respond to how you present yourself causes them to perceive you as acting with supreme certainty.
So, it works on the mind-game level. Far more important, though, is to learn to *truly* not give a fuck. It's not to impress others favorably (although it does,) it's to liberate you from your own projections. YOU are the star of the movie you're in, not other people. They are supporting characters at best. That is *why* you don't give a fuck what they think of you or how they react to you. They're not that important. You are.
Many years ago, I was at a party and I realized I had to take a shit. I went into an upstairs bathroom and was sitting on a toilet with my pants around my ankles when the door opened and a chick walked in... "Oh, excuse me!!" she said when she realized what had happened, and quickly backed out of the bathroom and closed the door. Somewhere in the back of my mind, this scenario was something I had dreaded: to be caught in a supremely embarrassing position by an attractive women.
When it actually occurred, though, I realized: who cares? If the chick thinks less of me because she saw me taking a dump then she's not someone I'd want in my life anyway. I eat food. That means it's natural to occasionally have to shit. Anybody getting weird about something like that is an asshole. It wasn't much of a leap to realize that anybody who is critical of me and how I conduct myself, how I move through the world, is somebody whose opinion doesn't matter to me.
Interestingly, after that happened, any anxiety I ever felt in social situations sort of disappeared. After all, the worst thing had happened: an attractive woman had seen me in the least flattering situation imaginable. And it didn't matter to me at all. So, all the rest was downhill from there. In other words, I stopped giving a fuck.
[deleted] 5y ago
Going to try this, do you like constipated shits or runny shits for this?
omega_fat 5y ago
Right there and then, I stopped giving a shit FTFY.
JaspersChest 5y ago
Beautiful and inspiring story man
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rosewoodguy 5y ago
As someone with social anxiety, I often struggle with the ''fake it till you make it.'' seems impossible to just be confident even if its faking it ( unless i use alcohol) i just feel awkward. I agree with all your points but do you have any advices for guys like me who struggle in opening themselves?
Sir_Distic 5y ago
Hold your head up straight, chest out just a little, shoulders back slightly. Not too much but enough so you feel it. Repeat any number of mantras over and over if you need to "I like myself." "I don't care what anyone thinks of me." "I fucking love myself" Whatever works for you. Don't listen to anyone on TRP who says mantras are BP or stupid or anything like that. Do what works for YOU.
rosewoodguy 5y ago
thanks for the tips, definetly will try the mantras !
jonpe87 5y ago
dont try to be not anxious, let it be, see where it goes, be a expectator of this feeling, you can't fight with your brain you must let it learn trough the experience... you probably has a kind of mental image of others like they have some kind of autority over you, and even you knowing that it is not true your brain respond to social endeavour the same way, anxious.
Wycked_x 5y ago
stop kicking the shit out of yourself for being "awkward" and just embrace the awkward. Do something with the awkward energy. Being less awkward takes being awkward until you figure out how to be less awkward from all the times you were awkward.
52andjacked 5y ago
Look fucking spot on and don't give a shit. My shit is chiseled and my clothes accentuate my body. Don't hit the clubs until 1am. When they are all liquored up and you are sober. They eventually approach you. Happened every time. If you are jacked enough, look good enough, you don't have to approach them.
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Cantloginhere 5y ago
Fake it till translates to practice and become familiar. Familiar things don't make you anxious.
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Rollo_Mayhem3 5y ago
*Make strong eye contact
This has netted me the most pussy out of all, you can't just have strong eye contact without self-confidence and frame. The eyes are the whole window to the soul thing is true, you reflect outward what is experienced inward through strong eye contact. Also, you can use your eyes to communicate a lot without words.
TheTradingRogue 5y ago
Truth! Use your eyes...not your mouth....
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RemyPrice 5y ago
Then you haven’t swallowed The Pill.
Iwannachokekatie 5y ago
There are asian and mexicans too
7alfamale 5y ago
Wanna write a post, write a good one or dont
Andorli 5y ago
More generic stuff that has been repeated over and over and over and over and over and over...no deeper perspective on things, no insight...and people who were born yesterday upvoting this garbage.
Wow thank you captain obvious, no seriously thank you...this is life changing advice...beautiful and eloquent writing. Real game changer right fucking there...
I think instead of posting this generic pseudo motivational and pseudo philosophical garbage you should stick to just focusing on improving yourself first and get a deeper understanding of what Frame actually means before you half assedly try to to explain it.
JaspersChest 5y ago
I've caught your attention, made you invest, and also revealed your emotional weakness. I'm in your head and own you, unless you find the strength/wisdom to remain silent from here on out and not give anymore attention to this.
It doesn't matter what you say after this, if it requires your attention, that means you've placed value on defeating me and have invested precious time into doing so.
It'll make make my day if you comment back, but if you don't, I'll feel a little low value in your eyes ????
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