This in essence is just a little venting and was written mostly for my own therapeutic benefit but could be of use to someone so I figured I’d post it.
First a little story about my red pill journey. I discovered the red pill several years ago when trying to determine whether the girl i was seeing was a slut, I came across a post titled ''10 signs you're dating a slut'' or something to that effect. At the point of this discovery I was not exactly red pilled but aware of it, past relationships had taught me that woman can profess their undying love for you one day and then fuck your best friend the next. I knew not to trust them, I knew not to value them and deep down I knew that the Disney fantasy of true love was a malicious lie. After reading the sidebar and pretty much every post for around 6 months the reality had sunken in, my eyes were now opened and I found a certain liberty in this revelation. I stepped it up at the gym, I worked on my game and slowly but surely I started to improve and experience consistent success with women for the first time in my life. I thought I had life hacked that I had succeeded and that I was impervious to the wiles and deceptions of women. I began spinning plates and here is where the story takes a turn for the worst. Within 3 weeks of moving into uni I had 3 plates but this didn't last, I started enjoying my time with one plate in particular and I ended up letting my others fizzle out. I'm sure everyone knows where this story is going. I have been seeing this plate for around 8-9 months now, at first I was still surrounded by my newfound success and thought that I would be invincible from feelz for the rest of my life but this was not the case.
When I first started seeing this plate I couldn't have cared less whether she lived or died but slowly she began to grow on me... like a fungal infection. At first it’s a small rash, barely noticeable but it progresses and spreads becoming larger and harder to ignore. She was a well behaved plate, enjoyable to be around and good in bed, she also had MASSIVE tits which I think may play some part in all this, I’m talking G’s and they were perky to boot. Around a week ago now I started having this strange feeling, this urge to make her my girlfriend. i suddenly felt like she deserved it, she had been pleading for exclusivity for months and for some unfathomable reason I wanted to grant her this favour purely to make her happy; even when I knew it was detrimental to the relationship and wouldn't improve my life at all (I get sex and everything else I could possible want from her right now so why the fuck would I want to make her my gf). I didn't fall into the trap, I didn't act on it. She is a huge slut and is NOT gf material in any sense. This begs the question of why I felt this urge, this strange yearning to do something for someone that would bring me nothing. The answer is blue pill conditioning and I hate it. For whatever reason I still have this pathetic fantasy in my head that I want to settle down with a wife that would love me unconditionally forever even though I know no such thing exists and can ever exist and tbh I'm sickened and disgusted in myself for even wanting this. I feel dirty for holding on to this pathetic notion; I know it is a lie so why do I still want it? I can only assume it because i have been conditioned since birth to want it and that would also explain why it is so hard to get rid of. It’s like some CIA brainwashing shit that happens to every male in the West and tbh I'm sick of it. It needs to change, it’s like society is actively sabotaging the lives of every male on the planet; this stuff sounds more akin to dystopian fiction that reality. Maybe it’s because my hormones are a little off balance because I’ve just finished a steroid cycle and clomid makes me depressed as fuck but I felt like I needed to get this off my chest.
If anyone is curious about the plate, as soon as I finish writing this post I'm going to block her off everything and ghost her like an absolute sociopath. Whilst she has done nothing to warrant such an action, it needs to be done, if this continues any longer I believe I would become infected with a devastating case of oneitis and obviously that cannot be allowed to come to fruition. It is going to be difficult, it takes a certain strength to just ditch someone you've spent so much time with when technically they haven’t even done anything wrong but nobody said life was supposed to be easy.
blackjackANDplates 5y ago
In the same way that a Blue Pill conditioned “beta male” believes he best represents the new “alpha” definition, so to do a lot of Red Pill aware men who play the same game of applying their own traits to what should be considered or appreciated as “alpha”. Nowhere is this more apparent than in Trad-Con circles – an Alpha is a guy who takes care of his family and is respected as the head of the home. He takes care of his duties to family, God and country, etc., etc. Really all this is is another grab at affirmation of personal worth. Blue Pill “betas” believe exactly the same self-fulfilling thing from a different set of ideological beliefs.
In the process both the plugged-in and the unplugged create convenient archetypes for the opposite of the apex they want to believe they are and what they hope will be confirmed and rewarded. Usually these are binary caricatures: the Alpha ‘Chad’ is usually whatever image of the popular high school jock that used to be their nemesis fits, while the Beta ‘doormat’ is the George McFly character whose introversion and lack of social intelligence places him at the bottom of the dominance hierarchy. Either one of these guys can be seen in a positive or negative light depending on the perspective of who’s doing the viewing. To the Nümale, whatever that classic Beta does should be what’s appreciated as ‘alpha’ and to the Trad-Con an Alpha is the guy who dominates, but only insofar as he sticks to what they think is his ‘duty’.
Funny how both tend think the Alpha Playah, the self-important ‘Cad’ who women tingle for, who follows his own sexual strategy shouldn’t be considered ‘Alpha’ in spite of women consistently, predictably rewarding him with sex and genuine desire. Rian nailed this part; Alpha makes her wet, Beta makes her secure. Our Instinctual interpretive process understands the visceral reasons why women get worked up for that physically ideal guy who also completes the fantasy of the Alpha Fucks side of Hypergamy. But our Emotional and Rational processes want to recreate a reality in which what we have is what women really want. So we try to persuade and convince women to act against their own Instinctual interpretive process with respect to what they should find sexy and genuinely desirable – us, just as we are. We want to change the Game to fit our capacity, our skill, our genetics, to excel in it.
Beta men don’t just hope that women will perceive their own redefinitions of ‘alpha’ as the accepted ideal, they build lives and systems of belief around convincing others and themselves that we’ve evolved past the visceral realities of what arouses women. Trad-Con men, even Red Pill aware men, do something similar – they hope that their own definition of what should constitute Alpha, and best describes themselves, will likewise supersede the natural evolved impulse of what a woman’s hindbrain perceives as an ideal Hypergamous opportunity.
RPGivesYouWings 5y ago
Low value post overall but the reminder of how the Disney Fantasy Fallacy gets in our heads at times is appreciated.
Curious though as to why you're going to ghost her when you could just start adding other plates? I'm not saying she's too good to let go or that you should have a scarcity mindset about finding other pussy; rather, I'm suggesting it might be better for your own psyche to demote her and add other snatch to the roster. She's not a princess, prove to yourself you can treat her accordingly.
Required reading: HumanSockPuppet's Guide to Managing Your Bitches
Jimmy_Greenteeth 5y ago
The reason I'm ghosting her is to stop any potential for the development of oneitis. I am always looking to add new plates but I've been focused on studying recently and I am booked in for surgery in two weeks so its looking like I'll only be able to add new plates in September at the earliest. Also I'm under no illusion that she is a princess and I definitely do not treat her like one. I think the reason she has been such a good plate is because I've played the redpill game constantly with only a few slip ups.
RPGivesYouWings 5y ago
Of course you know you, so you do you. Maybe a tactical retreat is the right move here. Food for thought: you caught yourself this time, how do you make sure you catch yourself next time?
Me personally, I always date more than one chick to fight off that Fantasy of “maybe she’s different.” Caught myself wondering the other day if Plate A would be good LTR material... then Plate B drained my balls along with that nasty thought.
Ma838b 5y ago
I have learned so much valuable information from the subreddit. But some things I’m still confused about. Does no one on here believe in a happy relationship? I’ve seen happy relationships in my life, (friends, parents, etc) and I know no relationship is perfect, but I think it is kind of depressing to think that no one will truly “love” you. Is it a generational thing?
[deleted]
[deleted] 5y ago
People will love you, but it's conditional.
Hell even parents conditionally love their kids. You think Hitler's mum loved him?
poohead3 5y ago
Yeah, probably. He wasn't (allegedly) gassing jews as a kid.
Jimmy_Greenteeth 5y ago
Women are incapable of love or at least incapable of experiencing love the way a man can. There is no permanence, their feelings are so fleeting and fickle. Happy relationships from previous generations are largely a result of their time. being a slut used to be shunned instead of celebrated. There have been studies done that suggest that the less partners a woman has the more successful her marriage will be. With every partner the chance of divorce rises by around 10%.
[deleted] 5y ago
[deleted]
[deleted]
[deleted]
gbdoragnic 5y ago
> at first I was still surrounded by my newfound success and thought that I would be invincible from feelz for the rest of my life but this was not the case.
I lived the same story, I thought I could just spin plates, have sex with random women forever, I didn't want to ever be the nice guy again, and enjoy life.
> Around a week ago now I started having this strange feeling, this urge to make her my girlfriend.
At least you didn't simp so hard and ask her to move in with you in 5 days
> I know it is a lie so why do I still want it?
It's not a lie, you are hardwired for it once you understand what love is, you will be able to channel that energy correctly, she will have your back,
> I couldn't have cared less whether she lived or died but slowly she began to grow on me... like a fungal infection
This is true love, true care, you aren't a robot, as much as society likes to paint us as sociopaths we just realize love and respect come after sex, you will always fall in love
this is a good thing. You couldn't care less whether she lives or died is you being a real person, most men will never even make it to this step to admit they just want to have sex with a women and if she dies tomorrow he won't shed a tear.
> She is a huge slut and is NOT gf material in any sense.
That is up to you, but make sure you are ready to cut her off, going back would be to late, I decided to give in to this feeling and been married for almost 6 years, she is amazing, sex,love, cook meals, works and helps me build my business, she really stepped up and helped me when I was down, I really got lucky because I committed fast and she could of easily fucked me over so many times. She is a good person with a good work ethic and humble, I'm not saying she is the one, but AWALT, my wife is still AWALT as fuck and that mushy stuff turns her off fast.
[deleted]
[deleted]
BurnoutRS 5y ago
Is the idea of Disney love a malicious lie? Or is it rich fantasy woven by idealists with the intent to produce a better world by stimulating the minds of children and filling them with idealistic nonesense?
a bit of both I would imagine but I want to interject a dose of reality into these posts. Often when you first see the falsehoods of the BP world you feel you have been betrayed and naturally you paint these pictures of villains concocting propaganda to brainwash you and keep you down.
I dont think its really that simple. I dont know that Disney would have been creating any of his works thinking "yes! yes! this will turn them all into subserviant little beta males, so easy to control" but I will say with certainty that once the effect took hold and people noticed it, anyone who stood to benefit from handing out Blue Pills would start.
Theres definitely people lobbying to keep shit like this alive. Blue Pilled men are probably a large source of revenue for jewelers, chocolatiers, for instance. Even we on this sub stand to benefit from the majority of the population being unaware of how the world actually works. Yknow, in the ways outside of how it detracts from our existance when you imagine the swaths of white knights that might be ready to make your life hell if the find out youre a redpiller
vengefully_yours 5y ago
Blah blah blah blah girls are terrible and a bunch of other blah blah shit, must end blue pill. Good luck with that.
Be concerned with yourself. You do your thing and realize the rest of them are unwilling to be unplugged. It's their fucking problem. You have pussy on the brain, bitches do not matter, they're playthings at best. There is a new crop of girls turning 18 every fucking day.
Even in my teens to 30s, pussy was not my focus, and I had a very high drive that required me to get laid at least every three days. I got good at game and would fuck a girl as long as I could, then find another one to put on the roster to fuck when that one stopped spinning. It's part of your life, not all of it. Who cares if she had great tits, in ten years they won't be so great, but there will be a thousand 18 year old with great tits out there. The feminists are making life shit for girls far more than us. They end up miserable and alone, desperate for the attention they got in their 20s, but unable to get a man they'll find acceptable due to idiotic high standards. They're making it easy for us, all we have to do is not act like you are, lift, and be aware of when a bitch is trying to get you in bed.
It's a strange thing to most that the more you want the pussy, the least likely you'll be to get it. Concurrently if you don't want it, you're not going to get it, so you need to put some effort in, just not all your effort.
Categorist 5y ago
You're doing what leftists keep doing: you believe that it is "education" that is the dominant reason of you having this urge to commit and sacrify your freedom for one girl. Truth is, these traits are rooted deep inside every male (the guy sacrifies himself for the girl, while the girl sacrifies herself for the child, hence allowing the cycle of life to continue).
What education can do is actually suppress or help suppressing these traits, which is exactly what TRP is: it is an acquired knowldege. There is no need for blue pill conditioning, but there is a need for red pill one.
ghostninja33 5y ago
The thing about blue pill conditioning doe is it gives the media control over our thoughts even farther, which is their goal, so of course, they promote blue pill thinking, its the logical thing for them to do.