Disclaimer: I want to emphasize that this is what works for me. It might not work as well for you as it does for me. But following these tips WILL improve your chances of landing dates with high quality women. For the sake of simplicity, I'm going to write all of these points as if you're using Tinder, although they apply to pretty much every dating site. With that out of the way, let's start.

The Profile

Never leave your profile empty. You don't want to post a novel, but you want to show that you have a personality. Guys will typically post a list of what they do, what they're interested in, and what they're looking for in a woman. None of this is necessary. When a woman reads your profile, she isn't going to care if you like football or you work as a stock-broker. And she's not thinking about whether or not she measures up to your standards. She wants to feel an emotional connection, and you're not going to have this effect by listing off your job title and what you do on the weekends. You need to paint a picture for her.

Here's an example of a bad profile that's all too common:

6'2'' (insert job title). In my free time I like to go out with friends, fish, lift weights, and play guitar. Looking for a fit and active girl who's spontaneous and knows how to have a good time

So, why is this a bad profile? You might be thinking - "I've written profiles that were similar to this before and I match with girls all the time!" Well, most of us have. And you'll match with some girls, but they're probably only liking you because of your pictures. To be blunt, this profile is boring, and no girl is going to get butterflies when she reads it. There's no playfulness or humor in this profile. It reads more like a job application. I also want to mention that height does matter to a lot of girls, but you don't need to put that in your profile. Let them ask you about it or better yet, show up to the date and surprise them.

So, what should your profile look like? Here's the one I'm using right now that gets me around 5-10 matches a day:

Call me simple, but nothing spells happiness more for me than editing audio files on my computer in my underwear with a cup of coffee. When I'm not doing that, you can find me in the gym thinking about my next idea for a story that I'll get 20 pages into writing then completely change.

Nothing about my height (I'm 6'3''). Nothing about what I do (I'm a full-time student in my mid-20's). Nothing about what I'm looking for in a woman (that's a long list). It's not show-off-ey, I'm not talking about myself too much, and I'm not talking about what I'm looking for because that communicates arrogance. This profile is meant to paint a picture of me as a playful guy who has unique interests, and yeah... I happen to work out but I have a brain.

The Pictures

Contrary to what some online articles will tell you, you don't need to use pictures that show you're a social butterfly, or ones where you're surrounded by girls. Pictures with friends are ok, but I would suggest you leave out any pictures with girls in them if you're the only guy. These types of pictures will make the girl looking at your profile think that it's either your ex, or you're a player - neither of which are good in her mind.

You should have 4-5 pictures max.

  • A clear shot of your face that's not a selfie

  • A playful/goofy one with a friend/friends

  • A full body shot in a unique place

  • If you have a good body, a picture of you relaxing on the beach or at a pool is fine. No mirror selfies (unless you're shredded). If you're not in good shape, don't use a picture like this.

  • This one's up to you, but it can be like any of the ones above.

The First Message

Side note: If a girl is really into you, she'll send the first message. Getting a first message is about the most obvious display of interest you can get while you're online dating, so if she messages you, assume that she wants you to ask her on a date and do it within 2-3 messages. These girls will usually act socially awkward on a date because they're very attracted to you. Don't let it throw you off though. Have drinks or whatever then when you leave the venue, tell them "We should just get this out of the way" and kiss them. They'll kiss you back 99% of the time. Most girls won't message you first though. They're afraid of rejection just like most guys are, so they're going to wait for you to make the first move.

This should be obvious, but never use "Hey", "What's up?", "How's it going?" or anything like that. These messages take no effort and they're boring as hell. You need to get her engaged, and - just like in real life - there's no better way to get someone engaged than to ask them a question. Your question should be playful and funny. This is the one I use every time:

"What's the weirdest message you've ever gotten from someone on here?"

This message communicates a few things. For starters, you're implying that you're not weird like the other guys on Tinder who send her things like "Sit on my face" or "My dick hangs low" (these are actual messages girls I've matched with told me about). It also communicates that you're on Tinder to have a laugh and you're not taking it too seriously.

Beyond that, this message is the perfect icebreaker. She'll tell you what her weirdest message is and all you have to say is "Lmao wow" or something similar. After that, she'll ask you what yours is. I actually had a girl message asking me if I would let her use a strap-on on me, so I use that, but even if you haven't gotten a weird message you can always make one up. I use this one because it's funny, sexual, and so outrageous that it gets a laugh 90% of the time.

After the First Message

After breaking the ice, your goal is to set up a date. Not get her number. Not get to know her. SET. UP. A. DATE!

The girls who message you first will be open to meeting you right away without talking at all. For the others, you need to do a little back and forth messaging. If they respond to your opening message (the one above) with something sexual, you can ask them the same "weird" message that they told you about after some normal back and forth conversation. Not only is this funny, it's playful.

For example, one girl told me that a guy messaged her saying that she owed him sex for some ridiculous reason. After laughing at the guy and having some normal conversation, I told her "Now that we've talked for a while, you owe me sex". She shot me down of course (in a sarcastic way), which is what I was expecting, so I told her "Well, I guess I'll just have to settle for a drink then." Normally, I would have sent "When are you free?" after that, but she beat me to it. Needless to say, once she told me when she was free I gave her a time and a place and set up the date. Be sure to take the lead and set the date yourself. If you allow her to pick the time and place you're putting yourself in the passenger seat, which isn't masculine.

Getting Her Number

Getting her number is important because it brings you out of the app and into the real world. If you've followed all of these steps, you should have set up a date. Now there are two options. You can either say something like "Sounds good. Here's my number by the way - (number). Text me", or you can wait until the day of the date and send her that message. I prefer to wait until either the day before or the day of the date, because it acts as a covert confirmation text. If she doesn't text you, assume that she's going to flake. If she does, well buddy, you've got her number and you can assume that the date has been confirmed.

Conclusion

That's basically all there is to it. Since I've been doing all of these things, I've matched with much higher quality women, and I'm getting more dates than I can even handle. Follow all of these steps and you should see similar results.