So, I figured this may help people as it's a realization I recently had swallowing the pill.
I'm 26, young I guess, maybe too young for a mid life crisis. That would be if I wasn't already the manager of 300 people and run millions of dollars of processes. This has driven me to a maturity level that is unique to me for my age.
Reading the redpill something hit me. I am going to die one day. Wait, not just that, I am going to be post wall myself one day. I'm 20 years from being 46. 20 years. If women only have ~12 years of being prime, from 18 to 30, men are lucky that we get from 30-50, a little bit longer of a window. However, that window will go by. I will NOT get a second chance to do everything I've dreamed of doing. I get 1 chance. 1 shot to posture my life in such a way that gives me steady returns of success. 1 chance to be young. It will pass. Who do I want to be as a 35 year old? A 45 year old? What am I doing to get there? Is my relationship now helping or hindering me becoming that person?
I kind of emotionally clicked. I dont have years to waste in a relationship that is draining. I dont have time to try and save a woman or be an emotional tampon for a woman. If I want to be financially stable, socially successful, and have a life I can be proud of... I have to start building that NOW. Like a IRA, you have to keep contributing when your young and work hard when your young, because when your old your capability will be diminished. If I focus on women now making them my goal now, to please them, to worship them, to win them over when I'm 40, I'll have nothing.
I also started thinking, man when I'm on the phone with my SO and shes being a bitch, or nagging or unpleasant... I am losing my time. By letting her do this daily I am investing my resources that should be going to my secure future into someone else that is clearly unable to provide returns. I am throwing it all away. I have began to feel jealous. Jealous of my time. I CANT get it back. That scares the fuck out of me. I dont get back the hundreds of hours I've wasted the past 3 years putting up with bullshit, when I could have been doing so many other things. I could have been doing juizitsu and be a bad ass fighter now. I could have been practicing trading FOREX and be great at it now. I could have spent my money on myself and be debt free with over $2500 a month disposable income by now. I could spend my time talking to people who are adding to my enjoyment in life at that moment, not taking it away. I got a $25000 loan as a 21 year old. Stupid I know. I always joke.. you know how you BLOW 25k? $20 at a time. Well, I realized you know how you BLOW 20 years of your life you'll never get back? 1 2 hr debate with a harpy at a time.
I dont want to be 40 saying the same shit. For the first time ever, when she got all shitty about something I got angry. Not angry because she was wrong, or she got under my skin with her harpy accusations. Angry that she was about to try and take my time again. I said clearly and with conviction I dont want to discuss this. She said well you think you can just let this go like it's no big deal you cant do that. I said, yes I can. It felt great. Reclaiming my time. Refusing to spend another minute in a stupid fucking debate.
I dont have to argue with her about why I do what I do. I dont owe her that fucking answer, and she and I forgot that. I dont owe her my fucking time. That's my God damned resource and I wont waste it anymore. I'm getting older, I'm losing the best days of my life, and I want to know I spent every day wisely just like I wanna spend every dollar wisely. I dont get a redo. When I'm 50, I dont get to try again. I have always said, man I wish I could go back to college. Now I realize I dont need to. I DONT want to be 50 saying. Man I wish I was 26 again. No body wastes my time anymore. And the manipulation that women try to use to convince me that I owe them my time or resources... is no longer something I think, or more importantly feel. I hope this helps someone come to the same conclusion.
Kuroshitsuji2323 5y ago
Yeah, I wouldn’t say you got till your 50 for the waall. Maybe 40. It’s been surveryed, women stop getting looks around 35, and men 40.
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Flintblood 5y ago
Gold. If you can't avoid a LTR, try to run tests to see if the LTR is worth it. Definitely take a long time to test the LTR before you ever consider marriage.
The_Chiselnator 5y ago
Quarterlife Crisis is so fucking common that every 25 year old in the world gets it
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aaaGreg 5y ago
I think it’s called a quarter-life crisis
room_303 5y ago
Living to 100? - well, good luck i suppose.
infamous3238 5y ago
With the rate life expectancy is growing, very possible.
Bisuboy 5y ago
Medicine is going to advance significantly. I think most guys that are 20-30 today, held office jobs and had a decently healthy lifestyle will be pretty fit until they are like 90.
Look at people like Patrick Steward, Sylvester Stallone or Donald Trump (or even Bill Clinton, he is probably still dicking bimbos). These people are still fit and enjoy life well into their seventies.
Hormone and/or stem cell therapy will vastly enhance our useful lifespans.
untonyto 5y ago
Mainstream medicine is a golden goose that thrives on status quo dysfunction. Anyone who lives to 90 will do so in spite of medical advances. The whole circus is well concealed by our collective commitment to hymn the glorious march of scientific progress oblivious to reality.
room_303 5y ago
Posts millionaires and billionaires as examples.
PrettyBelowAverage 5y ago
Look up studies showing how people are living longer and longer bud, no need to pick apart a comment that is pretty spot on.
.. I mean just my grandparents on both sides of the family are in their 80s/nearing their 80s now.
Bisuboy 5y ago
You don't think these treatments are going to become more affordable over the next 5 decades?
Yakatonker 5y ago
Not if the AMA, establishment government and media have any say. The rates of obesity in North America are appalling. Further more they're trying to subjugate stigma of obesity for women, more blood for the economic god, or what ever abomination they worship.
charlybr0wn 5y ago
That’s why he specified decently healthy. Obesity wouldn’t fall under that
Bisuboy 5y ago
This plus I think the obesity trend will eventually have to change. Western countries are getting fewer and fewer children (especially rich and intelligent people often have 0 or 1 children), so it becomes vital to have people working at older ages in order to pay taxes.
Of course, bad genetics and/or unhealthy living could kill you. You could get cancer next year and die 6 months after that. However, if you live a reasonably healthy life, reduce most risk factors and have some luck with genetics, I am sure that there will be tons of medication to prevent illnesses that destroy your mind (such as dementia and alzheimer's) and medication to keep the body fit for a longer time period. I think TRT, growth hormones and stem cell therapy can have a big effect even today, so just think about what will be possible in 40 years.
TheEnglishman28 5y ago
This bitch was so dumb, she thought a quarterback was a refund
[deleted] 5y ago
Don't use this line in public srs
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ImmunosuppressedTau 5y ago
Nice post. really hit home for me. Been thinking along the sane lines. Im near 24 now and Ive achieved a lot. But not enough, I want to look back when Im retired and say " Damn, I lived a baller live"
Cgbgjr 5y ago
Retiring soon, and hopefully you will be saying "This is going to be great!"
JPSYCHC 5y ago
So basically you’re saying, you shouldn’t have stayed in a shit relationship that made you miserable? Yea. You’re supposed to like being with your partner. Otherwise why are you with them? For the sake of having a girlfriend?
hazaraMoghul 5y ago
I am a nurse. I see young people and people in general die alot. All i can say is enjoy your life man. You just have to see with u r eyes dying people every day to believe this post. Patients with millions $$$ in their account and they cant even die pain free.
I would say lift, eat good, travel and aim for high position job.
BillyRedRocks 5y ago
One of the most important lessons we have forgotten and re-learn here is that we're all mortal. Knowing you'll die one day makes you wish you use your time the way YOU want to. All of those things that seem too hard - would you rather not try and one day be full of regrets on your deathbed? And what if you don't get to a deathbed? What if a truck driver runs you over tomorrow - would you be happy about all of those chances you didn't take and all of that time you wasted? If not the don't let her waste your time, better yet don't let anyone waste your time not even you.
[deleted] 5y ago
Reminds me of The Rubaiyat of Omar Kayyam:
RPmatrix 5y ago
A Chinese guy named Chufei, from a small village had a horse. A beautiful strong stallion
Having a horse made him 'rich' compared to the guys who'd have to saddle up the wife/s to plow the field
One day his horse jumped the fence and ran away! ALL the neighbors came over and they all said variations of "you poor bastard Chufei, the gods have frowned on you and you have suffered a great loss"
But Chufei was a wise man, and he replied "maybe"
A few days later Chufei wakes up to find his horse back home with 'it's GF', who just happened to be pregnant, so suddenly Chufei had 2 horses and another on the way!
The same neighbors rock around and say "Chufei, you lucky old bastard, how did you know the gods would smile on you? You surely are the luckiest man alive!
To which Chufei replied, "Maybe"
You see, a few days later while his son was trying to put a bridle on the new horse, it kicked him and broke his leg
The neighbors show up "Chufei, what ill fate has befallen you, it's a devil horse! Your son wont be able to able to walk for months! You poor bastard, karma must be catching up to you!
Chufei replies, "Maybe"
Because, a few weeks later war breaks out in the neighboring province and an agreement means that every able bodied man must go and help fight ... but Chufei's son ain't going anywhere in a hurry!
The same neighbors come over, joyous that Chufei's son has been saved from "near certain death"
But now! What a wonderful and magical horse she truly is, you are such a fortunate man Chufei, your son is safe, you have almost 3 horses, what a wonderful life you shall have
Chufei replied, "Maybe"
Stop trying to control the world OP, it doesn't work like that.
Life is a constant series of "maybes" and sometimes "now what?"s
It's up to you to become "a strong, open, cool Man who's "big enough" to accept the things you cannot change , change the things you can and bewise enough to know the difference between the things you can't"
I'd recommend a good dose of LSD to break you away from the 'formatted world' you currently live in, let it be more 'organic' ,, you're too into 'time management/control' which stems from a fear of losing control. Shit happens bro and you Need to learn how to 'accept it, deal with it and move on'
and FFS don't get into the "sunk costs Fallacy" ... in fact go and read up about it, it might trigger an awakening in you, hopefully
edit: I'm happy to see so many relate to an old story that is to me it's part of my 'essential philosophy' ... shanti
dojorno 5y ago
Fantastic, love this story
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kendallb183 5y ago
That's just it. The realization I had is I need to own the shit I can control. Stop allowing myself to worry about stupid arguements over stupid shit. Maintain frame, keep enjoying the life I have. Dont spend time entertaining negativity. All RP teachings. And also, be willing to accept the things I cannot change. AWALT was part of that. I used to need damn xanax to function because of anxiety. No longer do I have such problems because I really dont give 2 shits about things I cant control. I find myself wrapped up in those things sometimes and I gotta keep catching myself and habit building. Not getting upset when my SO is.. I cant co trol her emotions. Or her reactions to my actions. I dont try to any longer. The point isnt I need to monk mode business myself for the next 20 years. The point is I want a life with meaning. Good friends, great memories, tangible and intangible results. Looking back and seeing great friendships, great times, success in my career, ect. Wasting time arguing or fighting with my SO or any woman is a waste. Spending time people pleasing is spending time on other people I should be using on myself. I used to people please like a mother fucker. Would spend tons of money on random people to get them to like me... shit like that and it just isnt worth my time.
RPmatrix 5y ago
Bro, I'm not being nasty, just honest. You are a "people pleaser" who thinks that by 'making others happy they will do they same to you ... which is Bullshit.
Most people are self centered numptys who "do as their told" becoz they don't have any 'original thoughts' to work with from the get go. Shitty parents usually begin this process and shittier schools complete it!
Dude, who doesn't?!
We ALL want a 'satisfying life' BUT you wont find one by 'doing what other people tell you "is the way" to achieving one.
Words are cheap --- look at their Actions and the lives they lead ... most people 'put up a front' in the hope 'other people' will acknowledge them! It's called "virtue seeking"
ALL of us want to be "happy and satisfied" BUT IF you're NOT finding it by "doing what you're Told" then (IME) the chances are you're being Told 'wrong'.
That's why TRP exists. To expose the Bullshit and share The RP Truths with each other so that you won't waste your life finding out the hard way you've been fed a load of Lies by idiots who only parrot what they hear ... not 'think'!
Bro, try taking 1000mgs of magnesium per day and watch the 'anxiety' start to disappear Here's a large article explaining the science of it
It's the best $10 you'll ever spend on 'health supplements' (it's one of the few I take, ideally one's diet should be sufficient BUT as most people don't eat 'well' they become Mg deficient which = anxiety and an overactive mind you can't get to 'shut up'!
The Mg will resolve this! (drs dont get paid benefits to tell their patients such things -- what's worse is MANY don't even know this shit in the first place! They only 'know about' the drugs "in the literature" which they are taught to Rx before anything else! They'll give you SSRI 'antidepressants' rather than be honest with you and tell you to "start Eating "properly" (NO 'junk food etc) and to begin exercising regularly and lose (a lot of) weight" and that's just for starters
BUT people are Lazy and don't want to put in the Effort required and so tell the dr that they "just want a script" so they can get back to work/play/whatever as they 'haven't got time to do all those things' (get healthy and stay healthy). They just want a bandaid solution and an instant fix
Bullshit! You've admitted you ARE a "people pleasing control freak" so stop Lying to Yourself. You can't 'fix' what you don't think is 'broken' and let's face it bro, you're not posting this coz your life is all rosy
This guy brilliantly explains "why" you're thinking like you are .... But only You can change it!
At least you're having a go, which is more than many males
RPmatrix 5y ago
Firstly, (even with 'stream of thought' writing) you NEED to learn to FORMAT your posts bro
Esp IF you want people to read them.
A Block of intense text with Zero 'punctuation' is extremely difficult to read and many wont ... and that's something you can change Right Now. (remember, Tomorrow never comes) SO start NOW! (i.e. edit your posts)
BTW there's a HUGE difference between 'pleasing people' just 'becoz you can' -- and 'pleasing people in the hope they'll "like you" becoz of it --- and (hopefully) recognize "what a 'nice guy' you are, and then treat you 'accordingly' ... but it doesn't* work that way when it comes to relationships and fucking women
BUT IN reality just look at how your 'gf' treats you, like the easily manipulated guy you are . . . and it's clearly Not working with her is it? You don't have the 'control over her' that she has over you ... and that's not going to change, ever, As soon as a 'better easier option' comes along you wont know what happenened!
That's why you're here asking for advice
In a nutshell mate, you've got a LOT to learn about Life and TRP's a great place for you to begin, (So, first read ALL the sidebar material AND the sites like The Rational Male) and it will take some time (possibly years) for you to 'internalize' TRP's teachings/advice
Read "Michael's Story" from TRP's side bar (up the top) and listen to how your gf and her friends talk about "life" which includes their 'bfs' etc ... when you're not there! It's a bitter pill to swallow But the disease it prevents is Much Worse!
Your 'relationship' with your 'gf' is over mate, she's just there becoz you have made it so easy for her ... why leave?
I'd bet dollars to donuts she's already fucking around (and you have NO idea ... just as she likes it .. AWALT)
BULLSHIT!
Bro,, "the journey of a thousand miles starts with a step" and you're not going to become a 'new man' overnight! Your 'relationship' was over a long time ago BUT you can't see that. You are still hoping "your gf" is a unicorn! FFS mate wake up and smell the Bullshit!
You are SO focused on 'the future' I'm surprised you even remember to eat "now"! You'd be the death of a party!
Have you ever heard of "spontaneity"? It's quite remarkable how many fun things there are to do IF you just 'go with the flow' instead of trying to 'control everything' so that "things turn out as you want" That's fine for work, where planning and organization are VIP
BUT it sure doesn't work when cold approaching women. I mean how the fuck do you 'organize' to 'cold approach' a girl?
And any 'master of the art' will Tell you that "spontaneity and the ability to keep the conversation flowing in a fun way" IS a huge part of great Game.
Cold approaching, you have NO idea wtf this chick''s going to say to you when you approach her BUT you'd better have an extensive range of replies at the ready (and NOT about your work/skills) IF you're going to succeed in even just talking to her let alone get her number or better, take her 'with you' wherever your spontaneous nature takes you.
Next, most girls know exactly how to Game guys, (give them a whiff of pussy and let them think 'there's more to come' IF you do what I want you to
it's what Life Tells them to Do, how to 'live', they've gotta "get a good husband/provider for her kids" and they've been learning how to do by watching their moms, sisters, freinds and of course the MSM, Disney and Dolly who have 'guided them' since they were little girls into this 'fantasy' (Disney was a 'eugenicist' who believed in the "selective breeding" of the human race, (Kelloggs inspired Hitler) with all 'defective' humans "humanely dispatched at birth"!
sorry bro, now back to women -- I keep getting interrupted while writing this
A HB's mild shit tests knock guys like you 'into orbit'. And they Love doing it as it makes them 'feel powerful' --- IF your GF were completely honest with you she'd tell you she is Only using you becoz you Let her!
You've made it EASY for her (just like so many guys do, and then they 'wonder why' it's not working!)
You MUST move on bro, first in your mind and quickly followed by Life changing Actions, like lifting, there IS NO "excuse" not to!
n You see, your Life is "now, now, now, now, now and so on forever. You will be alive in a minute and you were alive a moment ago BUT the Only time you can actually DO anything in, is "Now" ... and only 'now'!
How many people (do you think) who died in a car accident were thinking about their 'death' when it happened? What make You so sure that you wont be diagnosed with cancer next week -- cancer from all the stress of trying to 'gain control'
Control freaks are usually extremely insecure people who are scared shitless of the UNexpected, which is why they MUST have 'control' ... in the hope of avoiding 'disasters' -- But notice how there's very little "grey" in a CF's world? IT's "either/or" with no 'in between', no 'compromise'.
Now think about this;
The ONLY time you can "be happy" is NOW!
So stop living your life in some 'imaginary future' where you've considered everything which could go wrong! FFS how about focusing on the things that can go 'right'?
and "expectations Are the basis of disappointment" Stop 'expecting' -- having reasonable expectations of things like "you can expect the buses will be working" BUT you can't expect things that are 'emotionally based' aka "feelz/likz" which are the primary motivators of simple women
Go to TRP's main sub sidebar and read Michael's story, The Misandry bubble and RP 101
and then get back to us ... but in the meantime, start working on parting ways with this girl
kendallb183 5y ago
It just hit me. A way of explaining it is I lived my whole life expecting and even looking forward for the opportunity to please and help others. Litterally sacrifice myself in some capacity to help and take care of people. What I learned is at the end of the day if I am making all of her dreams my own, I am sacrificing my own dreams. If I spend all my money trying to help people or be liked I am ending up with nothing, not just broke but also with bad friends or no one at all. I used to think I was put on this earth to do for others, and I'd be lucky if anyone ever wanted to do for me. Then I realized... it's no ones job to do for me but my own. I am losing time, wealth, respect all by giving those things to others and not myself. If I put as much into caretaking myself as I have people in my life this far, I'd be nearly a millionaire, have my dream house, dream car, be able to travel, and have really great friends that cared about who I am not what I could do for them.
untonyto 5y ago
This is all true and righteous. Because I independently came to the exact same realizations myself about a month ago. And every day affirms the truth of it.
magx01 5y ago
Just don't fall too far into the trap of always having to be 'on.' Burnout is a real thing. Cortisol is your enemy and stress is a killer. The number one death bed regret is time not spent with family/friends. It's never about money or work or whatever. So pursue your goals but take time to decompress and if you find yourself viewing that time as a 'waste' well take it from this 36 year old: Kid, you're fucking up :) It's such a cliche by this point but in my late 20's I went on a camping/hiking trip and did a giant dose (7 grams) of mushrooms one of those nights (I had a fair bit of experience prior to this- never jump in willy nilly) and when I got back I ended up closing down my business and took a job that paid half as much and I have not looked back since. I now spend time in nature every day (or close to it) and I meditate regularly. I started living a minimalist lifestyle and I have honestly never been better.
That $3000 a month mortgage on that gorgeous house that looked great on social media and impressed people in person (but had empty rooms I never even used.....such a waste)? Don't miss it for a second. Nor do I miss the extra stress and work that went into paying for that stupid thing.
No one can live your life for you or decide what would be best for you but I think I can say with certainty that human connection, nature, self reflection and time away from modern trappings like downtown areas, commutes and cubicles is inarguably the healthiest thing with respect to human well being. You can be CRUSHING the game from a capitalistic/western point of view while losing what I am starting to think is the real game: (get ready to cringe) the human soul/human well being game.
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scissor_me_timbers00 5y ago
Yeah I’m commencing a deep dive into psychedelics too right now, trying to radically reorient my mind and life after a decade that’s left me profoundly disgusted and imbittered.
magx01 5y ago
Just don't eat chicken wings on mushrooms. I used to love chicken wings.....
kendallb183 5y ago
So I tall about work more, but I absolutely agree with social too. Taking building a social life full of energy and fun with friends that matter and add to my life. But that starts by not allowing myself to waste my time resource on people who aren't that in my life. Its throwing away time I wont get back
RPmatrix 5y ago
that's a negative feedback loop! You'll never get Anywhere using that method!
FFS how do you "qualify" a friend? They're not like colleagues!
kendallb183 5y ago
A quality friend adds to my life. Has hobbies of their own I can go and enjoy, and enjoys hobbies of mine. Loyal, when your going to get into a fight you know you got your boys with you. When really tough shot in life happens they try to pick you up a little. It's your job to get up, but there waiting for you.
RPmatrix 5y ago
ok, but how do you ascertain who's a "quality friend"?
Such things take time and shared experiences
or are you still hanging with the people you know from school?
kendallb183 5y ago
Yeah actually. I have a few very close friends that go back to when I was like 13. I watched your video, it was very interesting for sure. I saw a lot of things I can agree with and some small things I dont think apply to me. I wasnt ever given participation trophies, my mom was poor and abusive. I had to work at age 13 to provide for my family and pay bills, so getting handed stuff or instant gratification isnt quite relevant for those reasons.
I self admit to people pleasing and have been working on it for maybe 2 years now. Which is why I got to the realization I wrote about. I know certain things make me feel like an asshole for not doing them but WISNIFG is def something I've been working to internalize. It gets easier and easier and I start to understand what is and isnt my problem to fix or worry about.
You mentioned weight lifting. I've been an avid lifter for years, maybe 10 years now. I'm 191 lbs, 8% bf, 5'10 so I've got some muscle on me. It's a passion. I actually was inspired by the realization I came to, to start studying for my CSCS. I think that with my masters would maybe let me open my own gym, which would be amazing.
I identify with the video you sent in that I am scared shitless of people but at the same time enjoy them and their company. I think the scared shitless part comes from the isolation I went through as a kid. I was locked in a room for months at a time, had no friends at school until 6th grade because I would always come to school jacked up from my mom beating me... and I was so beta because I was always scared to get hurt... which lo and behold caused me to get my ass kicked at school too. So there i was, mom beating me breaking my arm and shit, going to school getting beat up, having no clean clothes or clothes in general eating next to nothing, working every minute I could to provide for my sister and brother and protect them. Really has been hard to overcome. One step at a time I think.
My first girlfriend in high school was my only escape from this harsh reality so I made women my drug. I never learned how to create my own happiness. In college I fucked around 30 women and it was great but I had no fulfillment, to your videos point. The anxiety I used to feel that made me need xanax was a constant fear of being disliked, being wrong, or losing the opportunity I gave myself through school to escape from my childhood lifestyle.
I've spent the past 3 years on TRP internalizing many things. Seen therapists about my past. Focused on learning to stop trying to people please, being ok and comfortable with my own separate opinion. It was so bad I couldn't even distinguish my own wants from someone else's. I would adopt their desires and execute for them. I've worked on self acceptance, learning how to make meaningful relationships, not making women my source of happiness, and being able to be confident in what I want and want to do.
RPmatrix 5y ago
Mate, thanks for the awesome reply, I can read much in and between those lines and I'm quite impressed. You sound like a good bloke who's doing pretty well ... sorry if I came across a bit harshly but I wasn't in the mood for crap, so I'm glad I could help. The fact you see value in my posts reflects well upon yourself -- it's 'projection' of the 'good' kind!
I'm nearly twice your age and both my parents were dead by the time I was 17. I was 'on the streets' briefly and life went on. I could fill a dozen big books on the things I've been through. I became very successful in my mid 20's, sold the company (clothing) and moved on. Life has not been 'easy', but I've always stayed 'fit', eaten well and that alone has saved my life and got me laid numerous times! I've had an adventurous life. Traveliing is well worth it, but go backpacking, don't be a 'tourist' (with an itinerary) be a 'traveller' who 'goes where the wind takes you' -- I can't recommend it highly enough
BUT I could write all the important things in one.
It's very late where I am and I'd love to giive you a big reply but not now
You're doing well, I can't recommend the magnesium enough re: generalized anxiety (read the article I linked in another reply, it's valuable knowledge)
Like I also said, "it doesn't happen 'overnight', IN FACT Life is ALL about "the journey" for at it's 'end' is the death of what you call 'you'!
SO enjoy each day/moment as best you can and work on emphasizing all the good things you see/experience around you. An "attitude of gratitude" works wonders, simply being thankful for ALL the 'little things you have' -- as many people in this world don't have them
hey this 'poem' really sums things up nicely, you might know it ... read it thoughtfullly and realize it was written a while ago ... but the advice it gives is, as it says "as perennial as the grass" ... it's "advice that continues to grow the more you think about it"
The Best things in Life ARE "free' ... learn to discover them as they are 'personal', what floats your boat just may sink mine! So "live and let live" and as 'knowledge Is Power', learn, be curious and enjoy how amazing this world Is!
Sex with women are just a bonus of playing the Game, but it's intimacy which is the true goal of we humans although most fail to see this. Honesty and integrity are rare virtues but the people who ARE them are the humans we need in this world ... and as far as I can see, although we're going through a 'global rough patch' ... they're the 'birthing pains' of a new kind of world. e.g. seriously, when (and it will be when the Big guys start) the 'automation' of 40% of today's jobs make those jobs 'disappear' in the next 10-20yrs, WTF will the world Do?
We simply can't maintain the (insane) Keynesian based economic Crap much longer, like the USSR in 1990, the whole world is in for a shake up of major proportions --- think civil wars! Hopefully they will be short and minimal but there's a large group of people/individuals in this world who think they Know Best for everyone else and they'll use weapons to 'prove it"
this mentality will destroy mankind BUT IF we chose to share the planet's resources, WOW it would become heaven! Check out R.Buckminster.Fuller's "Dymaxion World" -- the guy was a genius (and his family, one of the 1% 'elite)
He has come up with functional plans which would give everyone on planet earth a MUCH better life ... it's just no banks woould "profit" from his ideas, in fact they'd lose money -- and so his work has been ghosted.
He designed (and patented) the first 'geodesic domes' which finance much of his lifelong research ... it's time to start focusing on The Real World, NOT the one 'they' talk about in advertising and on 'the news' or any other MSM bullshit propaganda. Your job is probabbly part of that all! IF it is, FFS get a job that isn't ...and can't be automated .. even by an AI
that's what you need my friend .. now I'm off to bed, g'night from downunder, we'll talk again, and feel free to ask me anything by pm if you like, I;ll help If I can
The molecule Fullerene is named in his honor as it's the same shape
abudun79 5y ago
Good analysis, I like the way you think about your lifetime. Big plus for you.
But in the end you just reject basic inter-sexual interaction, but you haven't got the guts to face it. You are pissed that "who you are", your success and what ever you like about yourself, doesn't make her keep her feelings for herself, because you cannot handle the "downside" of her female behavior and try to rationalize why you run away from it.
Dravous 5y ago
yes, but this only happens when you're literally too frail to avoid pissing yourself. if you're 83 and can pop a viagra and handle your shit, you're not post-wall.
Bearhardy 5y ago
Slow clap this hits the spot
banthrow 5y ago
My last LTR was quite nice in that sense. We never argued about anything. Se was sweet as pie.
I never treated her too good. And she loved it, until one day, she didn't. She stop answering texts, and I got "we need time" out of nowhere. Don't know the reason, maybe too much dread, I suspect she swing branched.
BTW I'm 40
cBIGONE 5y ago
Yeah you have to watch for the silent ones. They are the worst possible because they don't even throw you hints that you are acting like a little bitch.
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JDRoedell 5y ago
I don’t believe in “midlife crises” anymore. It’s just a term conditioned people and women use to try to keep men “in their pen.”
NormanoSilurian 5y ago
Yeah, it's often used in superficial conversations as a quick put-down for a male's behaviour which some cunt doesn't agree with. However, it is a real phenomenon. It hits when you feel you've reached the (arithmetic) halfway point. It lasts 2 -3 years. It's as real as puberty, except its a psychosexual event, rather than hormone-based.
JDRoedell 5y ago
It’s definitely used against men today when they try to pursue their goals and happiness that may not “line up” with the fem centric view.
I don’t know about it being a real phenomenon, at least not one that hasn’t been conditioned by our current social order. Do you really think Ug the caveman had a midlife crisis? I would venture a guess that men didn’t have them in the 1920’s or before. Too busy being masculine and surviving
NormanoSilurian 5y ago
Yes, I'm almost certain Ug the caveman and most of his brethren had midlife crises (confined to those who survived to a mature age, of course). That's precisely why we have them in modernity. The purpose of a midlife crisis is to encourage fully grown men to consider leaving their current mate and start a brand new family with a younger woman. This would tend to have the effect of doubling the progeny of each man who takes the plunge. Hence there is a very significant potential reproductive benefit (evolution's two engines are survival rates, and reproduction rates).
JDRoedell 5y ago
Ok, you’ve possibly changed my mind. That makes sense from an evolutionary biology perspective. I was mostly pointing out that in today’s bluepill society “midlife crisis” is used by the FI to shame betas who start getting “out of line.” I also look at midlife crisis behavior as a man realizing he didn’t make himself his mental point of origin and trying to get back to what makes him happy more than anything else.
Patresko 5y ago
"Juizitsu"
Great post though, thank you for it.
TheBiss 5y ago
Better to have figured this out at 26 then at 46 like I did, after she burned through all I had and then started branch swinging for more. AWALT.
xenigala 5y ago
Why are you with this woman if she is so unpleasant?
kendallb183 5y ago
She isnt always unpleasant, and I've let her get away with acting how she has and me just lapping it up and saying her frame. I suspect if I quit being a bitch, maybe she will stop acting like the man shes following...
RossDDMarshalls 5y ago
Her negative behavior will probably always be a part of her. A high quality woman won't temporarily turn into a low quality woman in instances where her man acts like a low quality man. A high quality woman will remain high quality and just leave (or branch swing) if the man's quality is low enough. Maybe she can improve, but in all likeliness any improvements will have to be redeemed by a future partner.
Even if you improve, you're in a bad spot and are making a huge mistake if you're walking on eggshells. Know what's good to do and no to do, but don't be afraid to do anything.
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RPmatrix 5y ago
the problem is the OP's 'broken' bro ,, like he says
The problem is OP still thinks she's following him and is clueless
he needs to start with the sidebar and see the Truth about this bitch .. and esp himself
Aywing 5y ago
" But how many of these people have real power, real destiny, real dynamique for their place, and their time, and the lives of thousands of people? I will tell you—four. Four people in this room with power, and the rest are like the rest of the people everywhere: powerless, sleepers in the dream, anonyme...You know the kind of power I’m talking about, don’t you? Real power. The power to make men shine like the stars, or crush them to dust. The power of secrets. Terrible, terrible secrets. The power to live without remorse or regret." Shantaram
I read this recently, somehow gives clarity on existential crisis.
cant_fix_crazy 5y ago
Ditch the bitch. Daily fighting is not a good sign of things to come.
archetypicalman 5y ago
Shit man, this was deep. Really touched a nerve there.
Saylor9191 5y ago
Thank you! I needed to read this! Yestuerday I finally broke things off with this girl after 2 years of being on and off. It's such a great relief! She was always negative, got offended easily, and always emotional. Think I stayed with her to try and help her grow as a person cause I saw potential in her. Well I was wrong and finally realized it yestuerday after she kept bitching about some little shit. So glad I got her out of my life and can continue with building up my future and just enjoy life! Thanks again man!
csajhr 5y ago
A quarter life crisis is very different from a mid life crisis. No matter how mature you think you are, you haven't lived enough to know what it's like to have a midlife crisis.
Your points are valid though, men should avoid emotionally draining, parasitic relationships no matter what age they are.
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daymi 5y ago
Set boundaries: "I don't want to talk about this click". It's not like you have to cut her out entirely, but if she wants to talk about inane stuff, she has girlfriends for that. Not everything has to be talked out.
It's not just all or nothing.
Also, find out what makes you happy. This doesn't work by thinking it over. It works by trying lots of things one after another. Very uncommon nowadays - but there's a reason men in the past did that.
So far I got: yacht license, went on one of the big oceans, learned rollerblading, learned piano a little, learned guitar a little, tried creating my own electronics (and saw how difficult that is O_o). Not many things stuck with me yet, but I've met a LOT of interesting people while doing this stuff - and it grew me and integrated me into the world.
In the end of the day your needs have to be met. If they aren't met, there's no reason to have the person in your life. Sounds callous and maybe it is, but otherwise you can't get your timewasters in check. There's no shortage of people who want you to waste your time (even whores, the pay direct money kind, want you to do it). Watch out.
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TheShearerComplex 5y ago
With out getting into too much personal detail, what was your issue with 25-26? Lost and didn’t know what to do?
PatsFever 5y ago
Nice humble brag intro, guarantee you’re an AP/AR manager if you’re in charge of that many people ‘processing millions’. Not really a sexy career track and technology is rapidly crushing that segment of manual process accounting.
kendallb183 5y ago
Nope, dont even know what an AP/AR manager is.
PatsFever 5y ago
What you do to have that level of monkeys reporting to you at 26? Guarantee it some plug and chug type role. I-Banking MDs, Big 4 senior partners, etc. have less direct reports, so with that many there’s no way it’s a higher education required type role. Love when back office dudes pretend they’re front office IPO guys at the firm.
saltyafrican 5y ago
Met a guy younger than this that claimed the same thing. He was basically appointed COO in Daddy's construction firm and he had project managers, bid managers etc reporting to him (as instructed by Dad to teach him the ropes) and they have several hundred people under them executing the construction work, not to mention the company subsidiaries (concrete supply, building materials etc) who have their own workforce.
kendallb183 5y ago
If you read another post of mine to a comment on here, my background is in it and it doesn't exactly make me a trust fund kid. I will say not all 300 are direct reports nor would I I them to be. I have maybe 20 direct hits that work for me and each has 15ish folks under them. Within a few years I'll be looking at 600-1000 total people. It's a fun job, mostly control huge logistical processes. I was awe struck the first time I requested to contracted a747 for quick movement of some stuff and it shows up 14 days later. There I was staring at a 747 I requested. Sort of an odd feeling. Highlight of my life was to go to Peru last minute to take care of some really important stuff. Outside of Lima though Peru wasn't very nice of a place. I hope to travel to Australia and cruise to Antarctica by the time I'm 35, so I can say Ive seen every continent on earth. Goals, goals.
kendallb183 5y ago
Lol, I still have no fucking idea what your talking about. Why is it so important to you anyways what I make my money doing?
PatsFever 5y ago
Saying your humble brag is likely a lie and if not you’re managing 300 burger flippers.
kendallb183 5y ago
Lol, so because it's something you cant fathom or could have done yourself... it must be a lie? How egocentric of a worldview you have
PatsFever 5y ago
I work in a major market, major firm, our senior partners don’t manage 300 people. It’s literally not possible unless it’s a plug and chug call center or something. You may sound cool to the 16 year old girls you tell that to, but any dude banging shoulders on Fortune 50 IPOs knows a burger flipper when he sees one.
kendallb183 5y ago
Wow your insecure my man. I've got no reason to lie, but if you need to keep trying to impress me go right ahead.
PatsFever 5y ago
You have a huge reason to lie. You’re posting on red pill trying to impress for karma, “it’s alpha to manage people, I’m so alpha if I say 300”. Let that fry grease hit you.
kendallb183 5y ago
Lmao, dude thinks he knows something... troll somewhere else man.
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vengefully_yours 5y ago
I'll be 50 next year. Been divorced twice, it set me back enormously. Despite the setbacks and people actively trying to hold me back/down, I had things I wanted to do. Call it a big fat hairy dream. I wanted a shop nobody could take from me. Income where I don't have to work every day to get it, and the time to do things with cars, airplanes, guns, and whatever else I decide to do that day.
my jobs through life were only to support myself and my car thing. I did what I had to, never made lots of money, wore out my body before I was 35. You could call it a hard life. But I had a plan, a place I wanted to be. Girls kept me from achieving it earlier in life. I fucked lots of girls, I had a crazy high sex drive until I hit 38. Lost track 20 years ago in the 80-90 notch range, can't remember them all anymore. Every color and size I could fuck on 4 continents.
In my 20s I thought I needed a girl around to be happy and not go crazy. Bitch was crazy. They all are. I like some of them, but have no desire to live with them. The reality of it is they are playthings, a pastime, a time waster like a video game but with orgasms. Fun to relax with a girl, but never the focus of my life. Now I fuck girls half my age easily, to the point where it's not even a challenge. If it drops off in my 50s, I'll fuck 30 somethings. Single mom 30 somethings that will never get my resources are still a nice warm place to Jack off. If I like her more than the rest, we will do more together than simply fuck.
I had a focus through life that wasn't about pussy. Yes my overpowering drive to get laid caused me problems and made for many poor choices, but my focus never wavered. I'm not overly wealthy, but I have enough income to do what I want to do. It goes father without some twat leeching from me. None of my jobs were office types, no cubicle farms, it was all hands on rough and heavy lifting. That made me tough, resilient, knowledgeable, capable, and infinitely confident in my abilities. I went through hell many times.
You don't have to do all that, but you need the focus on a goal of where you want to be. Not some vague idea like wealthy out successful. I wanted to build things, specific things, and then employ them for the purpose they were built for. Until you have something similar, you're going to be adrift.
redpillcad 5y ago
Single mom 30 somethings that will never get my resources are still a nice warm place to Jack off.
Lol, once a man gets hard both mentally and physically then these single moms ensure he will never have a dry spell like the lovesick college scrawny kid he once was
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JJ3314 5y ago
I agree with Illimitable Men’s characterization of a man’s 20s as “the decade of power” where you should be focusing on developing yourself to the fullest extent you possibly can—with a significant focus on establishing your financial empire, skills, hobbies, and physique. Not to say you can’t always improve at older ages, and truthfully I would regard it as optimal to start significantly developing your physique, understanding of women, talents and intellect in your teens, but many of us are too immature at that point to understand the full implications.
The bottom line is that I agree: at your age you should be focusing ruthlessly on personal development. In a society where there was an intact social contract between the sexes, and your odds of finding a decent, as well as attractive, woman were relatively high, I would see value in investing in a marriage in your 20s. In modern times, however, it’s definitely worthwhile walking away from a SO who doesn’t have high enough relationship market value: in order for her to be worth seriously investing time in, she has to have proven to you that she is more than just an attractive woman, assuming that she’s even that. Is she consistently sweet and kind to you? Does she treat you with respect? Does she have a low partner count? Hell, even coming from an intact two parent household should be looked at, as AFAIK children of divorcees are at greater risk of the same for themselves.
DrankOfSmell 5y ago
I think that what I’m about to say might not be red pill, maybe it is because I believe it’s a mature view, but ones life doesn’t have to be amazing just because it’s finite. Nothing wrong with living a life on contentment imo. Not all of your wants need to be, or will be, satisfied to have a life worth living.
grewapair 5y ago
What you'll find if you are a typical guy is there are two types of women. One will just use you. She won't add anything to your life, but her expectations will be a mile high. You'll be running around trying to entertain her to keep her around and she'll be doing literally nothing in return, except pressuring you to do more to try to make her stick around.
The other type will convince you to adopt her goals as the "right" goals, and then you'll willingly work towards her goals, abandoning yours. She then just jumps on your back while you carry her towards her goals, having entirely given up your own. This girl is more insidious because she won't use you at all, she'll actually support you, provided you are moving towards HER goals, not yours.
Once you finally figure all this out in your 40s or 50s, you put WAY less effort into women and guard your goals much more carefully. That means 99 women out of 100 you would have gotten and stayed with (because society tells you you need one to be happy) are now literally worthless to you. Women approach me, and I just laugh.
99 out of 100 will just make you waste your life. You only realize this when your sex drive slows down to the point where you can think rationally. And when you see the next one you might be interested in, ask critically what she's going to bring to your life. The answer is not nothing, it's less than nothing because she'll distract you from what YOU want.
You have a 99% chance of losing, solely due to your next relationship. The biggest impediment towards achieving your goals is the women in your life. Act accordingly.
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VasiliyZaitzev 5y ago
Life After 30: How to Be an Old Guy
-You have one life. Here's how to enjoy it.
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supernaturalsecrets 5y ago
That's a good post. You have found the value of your time and you get angry when it is stolen by some one harping. Time to withdraw attention from this girl, to correct behavior.
dickcomments 5y ago
No, it is not unique. No matter what you think.
There is always someone better. Always some with more experience. Always someone more mature.
And, if you genuinely think you are that unique, you are hanging out in the wrong circles.
I was a multimillionaire by 19. Broke by 22. Retired by 30. Came out of retirement at 35 due to boredom and CEO of a multinational organization by 40. And, this was a "unique" company as well.
Thing is, I can name 50 other people with the same type of story.
What your post/story tell me is that yes, you are having an identity crisis. Not because you fear that "this is your life" but because on some level you know there is so much more you need to experience to truly mature.
I have no doubt that your accomplishments are many, and you have unique skills, but you really haven't matured the way you believe.
I've seen it many times before. It has happened to me, too. We'll both see it again... but you really need to look inward here.
AuntieXhrist 5y ago
Gawddam, about age 3 kids learn they are not an emotional cynosure but part of something bigger. Get over yourself and develop a genuine fully integrated personality
[deleted] 5y ago
Aint no body got time for that
daniael31 5y ago
It's not a mid life crisis. It is you being awake to the fact you're living a mediocre life. And you being angry with it.
botsquash 5y ago
Stop procrastinating and do something with your time
scissor_me_timbers00 5y ago
Managing hundreds of people and millions of dollars at age 26 is not a mediocre life.
evoLverR 5y ago
You're overthinking EVERYTHING.