Every week we post our Pet Theories and Ideas Megathread and invite you to share the new theories you've been developing while out in the field. Have you noticed any strange trends that you either haven't understood or have a pet theory about? Have you noticed something new or different that we haven't discussed? Are there any ideas that you've been formulating that wouldn't warrent a new post but you want to share/discuss? Do it here.
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Mr-Ed209 5y ago
A lot of the Jordan Peterson parts about 'harnessing your inner monster' can be applied to women and dating. For many unplugged nice guys, their own sexuality is the 'monster'. It's something they've been taught to be shameful of and never display unless a girl asks them nicely to do it.
There's a quote from one of the Peterson lectures;
'People should know after 3 seconds of interacting with you, that harrassing you will be a seriously bad idea'
It's a great quote because it provides so much insight into how to behave. It's context in male-male interactions is quite obvious. But it's also true in male-female interactions, say meeting a girl on a first date. The initial few minutes are so important for setting a tone and boundary for how the women will treat you from there on after. Many men end up being surprised at how quickly they can make the first move on a chick once you get it down (and the quicker you do it, the more likely she is to accept it). As men, women can't harass us physically or even threaten us in any way. But what they will often do is exploit men's naivety or passiveness for their own needs. The guys who succeed are those who push the envelope quickly and without shame, that's using the monster in a way. It could be something as simple as blatantly checking her out, up and down, as she sits with you or immediately putting your hand on her thigh.
At TRP we know that dating/sex is based on an exchange of value, whatever value that may be. As such a first date or first encounter should almost be treat like a negotiation or even an interrogation whereby each party attempts to defend their own wants. As men we want sex and women want security, attention and will use sex to earn it. You need to treat all interactions with women (that you want to fuck) with this awareness in mind. It's like getting a job, no one is just going to hand you money or grant you a cushy job offer. Pussy is a valuable commodity and you need to be skilled to negotiate it on your terms.
Pepethe1stofHisName 5y ago
Hypergamy in the office:
Women are going to jockey for position at work as if they're competing for resources for their children within an alpha's harem.
I'm in a senior leadership position at a small company, though I'm not the CEO. I'm clearly the only non-beta male. I keep finding myself getting shit tests and comfort tests by "professional career women" who regularly lose control of their emotions in the office. Hilariously, most of these shit-stirring conversations include the words "we should be professional about this and not get distracted from our work"
TimmyD80 5y ago
This is true. I’m a VP and junior partner in my firm, just recent junior partner, and the office hypergamy is ridiculous and they don’t even try to hide it. When I started off all the older guys had all of the hot young women, the women my age at the time, pining for them, flirting with them, going out to drinks with them, having one night stands with them, etc. As I progressed I was being sought after more and more, but still, the hottest women only went for the higher positioned men, I was being chased by the average looking women. Then I made VP, now the hotter women were asking me out directly and not hiding it, flirting and making it known to me that they were receptive to any attention I gave them, even when it was obviously work related and professional they usually answer back very unprofessionally like “anything for you, I’m all yours” with a lot of eye contact and lots of friendly touching and hugs. Now, I bought shares of the firm, I’m a partner. Holy shit. They know I could fire them on the spot, still some will just come out and say things like “I had a dream about us last night” “you’re looking good today, what are you doing later?” and just this morning one woman came in to give me some paperwork and she sat on my desk and asked what I was doing and went on and on asking me to explain things to her. I enjoyed the view, I’m a man, I like young 20 something’s in skirts, but I thought where was all of this attention when I was a young 20 something? I’ve gotten older, I am 40, and am not in as good shape as I was, and I have some grey in my beard, what does this hot young girl want with me? Surely I am not physically aligned with her tight young body. It has to be the money I earn, the status, the position, the big house with a pool, the vacation beach house. The Porsche I drive every once in a while to the office, sure it’s preowned but it’s a Porsche. These bitches want what I worked for.
One guy I know, he’s about five years older dated and impregnated a young hot secretary from the office. She quit working and lived in house while she was pregnant. One day he came home and she had basically robbed him, took money out of his bank accounts by writing herself checks forging his signature and then had movers come and move furniture out of the house and she took his dog. That really hurt him was the dog. She had the baby and he pays child support to her, he never reported the theft and check fraud. That scares me.
Mr_Badass 5y ago
They love to gossip about who is potentially fucking who. I once had the Executive Assistant at my old job try to convince me to teach her how to work out at the company fitness center. No way am I shitting where I eat, especially at the company gym with the other coworkers there. She was 31 years old and the queen bee of the building. She was athletic and pretty good looking. I obviously don't shit where I eat but the old hags thought it was "adorable" how she would bring me the extra food the Executives left behind in the meetings. They would call her my "wifey" and assumed I was fucking her even if I didn't even have her phone number. I learned that old hags always assume if your single and decent looking that you want to fuck all the girls there.
Pepethe1stofHisName 5y ago
dude, that would be a yuuuge step up from this. No flirting, just jockeying for position and throwing insults during conference calls. All the childishness without any of the fun.
zyqkvx 5y ago
Use them as social proof to attract young women that do not work for your company. Make a point not to tell any of these women that you would never date someone at work so they aren't exempt of all dread.
econquest 5y ago
With all respect, and I'm just a beginner, but is it possible that you are reading more into it than their true level of enthusiasm for you? It's just flirting.
If you were twenty-four and society told you we'll give you five hundred thousand if you get your lady boss to touch you once, would you want to know if you could do it? Honestly, I'd like to know. Now, I know society isn't set up that way but you have to at least know. (I mean that these women are very strongly monetarily incentivized to provoke this from you. Society literally - not in some metaphorical way - pays them for this.)
Finally I have this to tell you: Monica Lewinsky. Bill Clinton was president for 8 years. And that's his stupid legacy.
But anyway in a work context in my very humble opinion the above is NOT overt enough! This is overt enough (said by her, completely unprompted by anything you did):
You then don't answer that, you just screenshot it and leave copies in four different places. But to me, that is the overt version. And you still don't do it, because Monica Lewinsky.
it's almost literally illegal. I want to be very clear that I'm only a TRP beginner and you obviously have more awareness and success than me.
(I add this because it's easy to want to spew bullshit and I think a lot of commenters don't mention where they are in their journey.)
Mr-Ed209 5y ago
It's because of status and it's really fucking powerful. I've traveled and worked a lot of jobs and experienced the differing preferential treatment which happens as a result of changing status. It's the most subjective factor you could ever be judged upon - but you could probably sum it up scientifically as 'he who best fits/dominates his environment'
If you're high up in the corporate world girls will take notice. They're designed that way. As a man suddenly thrust into a realm of attention from women its easy to assume they want something from you in a malicious sense. But they're really just responding to their nature. Enjoy it, take it for what it is. Realise it will end if you lose your job and whatever else.
Women are natural social chameleons because they need to be fluid to find good mates. They need to be able to sweet talk their way into new cliques and groups; and once there they will try and fuck the top men within them.
I've heard stories from a flight attendant friend of young girls like 19/20 y/o sleeping with pilots in their late 50s who have wives and kids back home. They know they aren't going to get any money, they know they can fuck younger and hotter guys. But they do it anyway because theres nothing like the draw of a dude who owns his shit and pays for luxury hotel rooms etc for young girls to get their alpha fantasy hamster spinning.
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CasaDeFranco 5y ago
Marrying your secretary and surprised it crashes and burns?
Marrying down is always a bad idea.
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CasaDeFranco 5y ago
Agreed, but a man who marries up typically still earns more. Statistically women of higher status inherent wealth through a trust, they don't earn it.
KBeer01 5y ago
If you can get a girl to mate-guard herself, you've achieved a new level of proficiency.
Case in point: plate put up a photo of her kissing me on social media, beta orbiters who all have been friend-zoned freak the fuck out, calls her a liar for "not wanting to be in a relationship" with them and now she's kissing this other guy (me)?!
She keeps forwarding me all the messages. Laughing our asses off. Effort from my side - close to zero. Get a girl to the point where she mate-guards herself, it's the ultimate display of submission, especially when she full well knows that 20+ other guys pining for my position will see it. Heartless? Nah. Just female nature at it's finest.
Lordadidas 5y ago
I'm currently in an LTR and I expect this kind of behavior. When you expect it, I suppose it becomes part of your reality and your frame and women pick up on that. A strong frame helps, as always. It's just how my world works, they can either join me in my world and follow the rules in it or they can leave.
dongpal 5y ago
Or secretly enjoy two different worlds...
KBeer01 5y ago
Some young and naive girls never had a dating life during high school. Then, after school,they become hot and start receiving the typical inundation of cock. These girls, however, tend to want a relationship much more desperately than simply wanting to ride the CC. I think it's partly because they never had somebody that they could call a boyfriend before. There is a certain social status boost associated with that for girls.
Be careful with these girls. They tend to get very obsessive with you and you should manage expectations calmly and with clarity. She will try to rush things. She will ask "so what is this, are we together?" etc. Manage these expectations kindly but firmly. You are the one with the wisdom that she has to listen to. Tell her that you are only still dating and that relationships that work develop with a slow and steady pace. Is it a bit of a cosmo answer? Maybe, but she'll get it and fall back into your frame.
The above is especially important if you are spinning multiple plates, one of which is said girl as above.
Mr_Badass 5y ago
If you're her first boyfriend be prepared for codependency to the extreme. She will be very insecure about her body usually.
SimpleJacked 5y ago
Both men and women without experience act desperate and obsessive. Hot or not AWALT. She will fuck Chad and seek resources from Billy. Just because she hasn't learned yet doesn't mean she won't. It's more likely she already has and you are hamstering away her darker nature.
At least you have several plates so please don't drop them. This girl is calculating not just inexperienced.
Mr-Ed209 5y ago
I've been having a lot of thoughts about what oneitis actually is and why 'heartbreak' occurs. It's universal in that most men have experienced it at some point or another in their lives. Some deal with it better than others, some learn some don't etc. One thing I've always took issue is the explanation that it stems from 'scarcity'. Obviously that can play an element but there's a lot of other factors involved.
I put it down to future investment and I think it serves a very real biological function; which is to motivate your commitment of resources to a woman. That is at the end of the day what the struggle is all about. It's why it invokes such strong feelings of betrayal or disgust to think about 'your' girl sleeping around and whatever else. It's a negative/positive emotional system that has formed evolutionarily - in that it's existence makes child rearing and whatever else less likely to fail.
And it's not obvious how is the best strategy to deal with it. Many of us might have felt extremely motivated in life when 'in love' to the degree where it was beneficial for our futures. Going into work in a better mood, feeling like life is 'together' and having a purpose comes naturally at this time. When you lose 'the one' it's not about her, the grief stems from a loss of future security and goals. For example if you began to orientate your life in a way where you planned on getting a home with your 'S/O' and you find her shagging chad. Then you have bigger problems than simply ditching her and seeking out a new person to fuck. Your future is now destroyed; you have to completely rethink so many aspects of your life. Suddenly work sucks, and you lose motivation because your current path serve no purpose to any long term goal or mission.
How to avoid oneitis is simple. Avoid any thoughts and expectations future investment with a girl and you'll be fine. Safe to enjoy anything and everything in the moment. But your brain has a part of it which seems to be hardwired to push those thoughts to your consciousness a lot. I think also that oneitis has a tendency to hit smarter men more harshly - because those are the ones who invest and plan for their respective futures the most.
It also explains to some extent the difference between male and female love. Women do fall in love and do become infatuated - but for completely different reasons to men because their motivation for doing so is different.
Matematik150 5y ago
the older you are, the obvius is the redpill. When does it hit hard?
EramSumEro 5y ago
I woke up after my first living-together LTR ended.
theoracleofbromaha 5y ago
Jordan Peterson is the trendy poster boy for all red pill themes.
On another note this JP over instrumentals is ???? https://m.soundcloud.com/akirathedon/jbpwave-a-jordan-peterson-lofi-hip-hop-mix
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