tl,dr: Eat less, move more.

Let's get real here. I have struggled with attempted weight loss for about three years. I have tried every diet on the planet, even going vegan. I saw some initial successes but would soon relapse, because most of those diets are simply not sustainable long-term. I know for a fact that many here are currently suffering that same fate because statistically not a lot of ham planets ever get juicy in their lives.

So if Keto, Low carb, Paleo and so forth are all crap, what does really work? You know it already. Eat less, move more. Gotta be in that caloric deficit. If you haven't already, and you probably have, get your measurements in that calculator and find out for yourself. IIFYM has a relatively precise one. For most men, the range for losing weight is anywhere between 1700 and a whopping 2000 calories. if you haven't already noticed: That is still a shitton of food! The lack of sustainability of most diets, the urges, are what makes people go way beyond that and stay fat.

You want a lifestyle change. The good thing about it: It does not have to be a struggle. You don't even have to cut out your favourite foods. Flexible dieting (also known as IIFYM) is a scientifically proven and sustainable way to keep you full and in that caloric deficit. Take it from a guy who has lost almost 30kg(!) of body fat in a year while maintaining most of his muscle and not starving himself. Genetics do play a role, but if you are honest with yourself you will lose weight.

It is important to track on myfitnesspal. Use the barcode scanner for less hassle. Do get used to it. At the beginning it sucks but after a while it's routine. Don't tell me those 30 seconds are too much to ask.

The 80/20 rule of flexible dieting

I was cruising around 1700-1800 calories which for my height and genetics is relatively radical. In 1800kcal you could fit a normal sized KFC meal and still lose weight! (just don't eat a damn family bucket by yourself) However, doing that regularly will increase your chances of all kinds of diseases. My point is: Do indulge. But do it like a normal person and not like an addict. You can have a cookie. You can have a piece of cake. You can even eat a fucking cheeseburger. People don't get fat from eating one of those. The reason I was fat for most of my childhood was that I got high and ate a full kilo(!) (2.2lbs) of fries by myself. That is not a healthy relationship with food, that is fucked up. Nobody forces you to eat dry chicken with broccoli every day and there is no need to.

As the 80/20 rule states, 80% of your food in a week should come from healthy sources. Think whole grains, organic meats and, of course, fruit and vegetable. Add to that your protein shake. 20% can be whatever you want, as long as you stay in reasonable range of your caloric limit and move your ass to the gym. Again: The magic is to have A BIT of that guilty food, not a truckload!

Do what you can afford and don't get too crazy

Organic meats and veggies are great and you should opt for those if you can. If you have a local weekend market, that's a great place to get those. But doing all that is usually expensive. And there is no shame in just doing what is in your budget range. Being healthy is expensive. Some tricks exist, like going to a shop as late as possible to get discounts.

Also: Don't get too crazy about always being healthy. The reality is that most of what you can buy in the supermarket basically kills you, by use of preservatives and other chemicals. Even organic canned stuff is still canned stuff and contributes to making you older. If you look at guys like "the 50-year-old teenager (youtube)", they rely on a raw food diet. But who really wants to live on cucumbers for the rest of their lives? I have an occasional diet soda but I don't replace water with it.

Eating out and on holidays

Do eat out. Don't withhold that from yourself, especially on holidays. Again, do it like a human and not like a ham planet. Share desserts. Skip the wine. Ask for the salad instead of french fries. Don't order a second round of bread. Preferably don't eat out more than once a day while on holiday. Use your brain while looking at the menu but don't be too hard on yourself, as long as eating healthy remains the norm. Depending on where you are, salad bars, vegetarian/vegan restaurants and similar stuff might be on offer and it is obviously wise to opt for these things. Such places rely on Carbs. Carbs are not your enemy, as slow burning carbs will make you feel super full and fuel your workout. Just mind the macros and get that protein intake.

Nighttime urges

We usually crack at night, especially if we stay up long for work or reading Reddit posts. Step number one should always be to drink water. Carbonated water will make you feel fuller. If you crack, don't order a McDonald's delivery, instead, opt for a small healthy meal! Eat a salad, some chicken or even a damned protein bar. It is not about starving but controlling these urges. Check VitruvianPhysiques 10.000 calorie challenge for some motivation on eating disciplined (he eats all those calories in healthy stuff).

Do not drink, mostly

I never advocate abstaining completely but with alcohol, there have to be strict rules in place. A pint of beer has almost 200 calories, mostly coming from empty carbs. Wine is even worse. Whisky and spirits do not have carb calories, but alcohol calories and high amounts prevent muscle recovery. It increases appetite tremendously and you will be useless the next day. Getting pissed raises cortisol levels, turning you into an obnoxious bitch. There is really no use for that. I used to love drinking because it is one of those instant pleasures, but after seeing what it does to people, my urges to indulge became less and less. I do like the taste of beer and usually drink on one day of the month and not more than two pints. You could even drink that amount once a week if you really want to, but anything higher will seriously slow down your progress with no benefits.

About sugar

If you really need soda, opt for a diet one. Know that too much of that might cause cancer, even the Stevia variant. Limit it, e.g. to once a week. With sugar, about 30g-60g a day is alright, when most of it comes from natural sources. I try to stay on the lower end and most hipster places nowadays sweeten with agave or date syrup as well as coconut. You can have a dessert now and then, try to share it with someone (and mind the macros). A friendly reminder that, if you really have to, there is low-calorie ice cream on the market.

Do HIIT cardio

Proven to release increased amounts of Human Growth Hormone= more gains and fat burning. Also great for the heart. It's worth to get a heart rate monitor (breast strap with a watch) off eBay for these. Aim for 8 sets of 30 seconds but you may start much lower (e.g. 3-4 sets). Either run and go as fast as you can outside or use a stationary bike. The beginning will be hard but your cardio will improve very quickly. You will notice to be able to go harder and longer soon. Add some levels outside by going uphill, etc. If you are super obese start on the stationary bike as it will be easier on your knees and ankles.

Some proven "magic"

These are some scientifically proven foods and supplements that help with weight loss. They can ONLY be part of an already healthy diet and NEVER work without that.

  • Ceylon cinnamon: speeds up your metabolism. Get the organic one off Amazon as store bought ones might not use Ceylon. I put that into my protein shakes and coffee
  • Speaking of which: Coffee! Same effect as above and halts your appetite. Try to limit it to one per day as caffeine tolerance rises pretty quickly, leading to a mild addiction/dependency. Also fucks up your teeth, wash your mouth by drinking water directly after.
  • Coconut oil, Olive oil: Both great for heart health (healthy fats), cook with them and use for salads.
  • Hemp seeds: High in Protein and healthy fats
  • Avocado: Get used to it. Healthy fats galore and fibre
  • generally get your fibre intake straight. 30g per day from natural sources is fine. It will burn fat tissue around your organs.
  • Flaxseed: Fancy and expensive but might prevent some of the most common types of cancer in men
  • Cucurma (Turmeric): Get used to this spice as it, again, prevents some of the most common types of cancers in men
  • Fish oil supplements, if you don't like fish. I don't.
  • BCAA supplements to prevent muscle loss. Science is not yet 100% sure on these, I personally use them.
  • Also read up on Broccoli sprouts. Just a tiny bit of hassle but incredibly healthy.

Be in it for the long run

It will take time. Your weight will stagnate. That's all perfectly normal. If you do it this way, the realistic way, your edge on others is that it is sustainable, with little risk of ever going back to the old ways. Getting from obese to not or only lightly overweight will take about a year, depending on genetics and some other stuff. A year might sound like a lot, but is it really that much in the grand scheme of things?

My sources are scientific papers which you can find if you google each point. A great book that covers all of this is "How not to die" by Dr Michael Greger.

edit: formatting