The Essay:
https://therationalmale.com/2018/06/18/big-fish/
Excerpts:
Big Fish and the Cookie Lady
There is a larger dynamic at play in all this, one I probably could add an addendum to in my second book, Preventive Medicine. An aging Beta male, and particularly one with a notable amount of money, success, fame or status is a big fish for a necessitous woman. A woman who’s long practiced in using her sexual agency to its best advantage with men knows a prime target in an older man who’s never unplugged himself from his Blue Pill conditioning. Bourdain was one such big fish, and his Blue Pill conditioning, his eager white knighting and immediate deference to the feminine, his soul mate idealism would’ve been instantly recognizable to a 42 year old woman long accustomed to being the center of orbit for many a prior Beta.
I don’t want to call it an epidemic, but there is a set of women who look for aging men with resources to befriend and pretend they have a genuine interest in. Men with even moderate means and a Blue Pill conditioned idealism that ‘love springs eternal’ are prime targets for women who can read and assess that man’s state from years of practice. A woman who shows interest in a man who’s been starved for affection, sex and a real connection with a woman (married or not) will seem like more than an oasis in the desert. She’ll appeal to his romantic, idealistic Beta soul; a last chance at ‘true happiness’, a true miracle, as he enters his old age.
My own father was one such target for a woman we called the ‘cookie lady’.
My dad passed away from complications of Alzheimer’s/dementia before he was 72, but before his dementia had really become apparent the ‘cookie lady’ had already made a mark of my dad. My father was also what I’ve called a terminal Beta. He never unplugged to his dying day and lived a life based on the old set of books, being a good provider, dutiful, responsible and he was perpetually disappointed by the women in his life never reciprocating with their intimacy and appreciation the ‘rules’ clearly stated should happen. They never loved him in the way he thought women ought to be capable of loving him. Nevertheless, dad always clung to the (noble?) belief that if he saved his pennies and was of the highest service to women that eventually, one day, his efforts and quality would be appreciated by the right woman. He was a good example of the Savior Schema.
The ‘cookie lady’ understood all of this – all of dad’s Blue Pill conditioning, the way he thought the world and women should work, the old social contract investments, his idealism about women, everything – all of it in less than a week. She really wasn’t all that different from my step-mother in that respect, but at this late in the game, at her age, and noticing the subtle hints of cognitive degeneration in dad, the stakes were much higher for her long term security. I should also add that I would include my own mother in this schema; she’s a lovable loon, but she knew a good opportunity for security back in the 60s, so it may be my father had a knack for attracting this type of woman due to his Blue Pill idealism.
The reason we called this woman the ‘cookie lady’ was because she always brought my dad fresh baked cookies when she was trying to play into his Blue Pill end-of-life last ditch hope for happiness. We never knew her real name and if it hadn’t been for my dad getting very upset with us for preventing him from rewriting the ‘cookie lady’ into his will and power of attorney within the first month of her ‘dropping by’ we may very well have been suckered into her scam too.
Brixylian 5y ago
A lot of that is obviously true. Like Cassandra, a fair warning to the uninitiated. However, life often is neither black nor white. All the fun, the wielding of power and experience occurs in between the dogma.
I'm 54. Fairly successful. Wasn't divorce raped. Two sons' who can see through the matrix.
Having fun is easy. Executing a plan resulting in success takes discipline per annum.
I've maintained a few close younger friends for over a decade. They used to be in their 20's, now they're esconced in their 30's. Still hot, still friendly, still useful.
Yes, they take more materially than they give. Obviously... they're chicks. Do we have fun, and is it the carefree release I require to sustain my productivity, without a doubt.
One thing is Paramount. Take and get what you want from them. Always. Treat, them well. Make them laugh. Know what you want. This is a hybrid transactional age. Decent looking older men are golden. Just don't be that guy described by Tomassi.
reluctantly_red 5y ago
This! There's no need to be a jerk but always make sure the relationship isn't a one way street.
My first wife's name actually was Cassandra -- that should have been a hint.
NorthEasternNomad 5y ago
My father is a mans man. If it breaks, he can fix it. If it can be built, he can build it. Tough, stoic, life experience smart. Quintissential Red Pill.
Except where women are concerned.
His "cookie lady" is his third wife. Younger. Attractive, when he met. Into all of his hobbies and interests, from hiking to kayaking to nature photography. Even ok with not having kids despite being 10 years younger than him.
And all that lasted right up until marriage. At which point, she lost interest in everything except sitting around the house, complaining about how far she gotten. Like that's not the natural follow on from utter laziness.
Watch out for Cookie Ladies. They're real. They're out there. And they are predatory.
Laballia 5y ago
What is the red and blue pill? A book?
eaazzy_13 5y ago
No, redpill is more of a philosophy, a mindset and sexual strategy to maximize happiness and success for men of all ages.
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Jyontaitaa 5y ago
Great read but your comments on Anthony Bourdain needs its own thread.
Investigators have stated there was no alcohol or drugs in his system when he died.
However they ignored the large bag of blue pills spilt all over the floor and the fact that his suit of white armor was about as durable as porcelain.
The main point being whatever terrible human being Ms Asia is she is not responsible for a man choosing to take his own life. She is a uniquely terrible being, no doubt, but Bourdain set himself up for the fall and then pushed himself over the cliff.
Men who define their worth and their worthiness to live through the affections and qualification of others are never going to be happy.
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a_passager 5y ago
Earlier generations of my family and friends' families have lost countless thousands through these later-game marriages.
Usually the expectation is that a new wife will help the man live longer. Though, this often doesn't prevent the new wife from being added to the will should she fail
trentreznor95 5y ago
"There is an epidemic of gold digging whores in this country"
ozenmacher 5y ago
This needs to be read more, I wish you had a different title to get more men to read this. Something about Bourdain would surely bring more here for this since he was so well known.
Anyways, it really is a great example (and truly sad) how deep the BP mindset runs in western society. You are talking about a man, an independent badass who was worth millions traveling the world, who still had BP mania and, in the end, entrusted his happiness to women, obviously which he took with him to the grave. Sad sad world we live in, and as others noted, MSM doesnt care or even bother talking about why.
DysfunctionalBrother 5y ago
Hold up did i just read at the end there his Dad tried to get her into the will after one month?
"He never unplugged to his dying day and lived a life based on the old set of books, being a good provider, dutiful, responsible and he was perpetually disappointed by the women in his life never reciprocating with their intimacy and appreciation the ‘rules’ clearly stated should happen. They never loved him in the way he thought women ought to be capable of loving him." Shit.
monkeemagik 5y ago
At 49 years of age and after a 28year marriage I can honestly say that Rollo and his books have not only woken me up from a deep slumber, but literally, saved my life. Let me repeat that. SAVED MY LIFE! Thank you Rollo and all those that are doing this essential work.
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Rollo-Tomassi 5y ago
Thanks, glad you could benefit from it
Bcano 5y ago
Rollo! Just finished your book! It gave jut what i needed and my life is heavily improved! Ill take this chance to thank you!
ahg1008 5y ago
You saved my life at 23..Blue pill me actually got engaged to a borderline.. and she ran away after the engagement.. Red pill got me away from committing suicide. I look at the earlier version of me and just feel like throwing up! Thanks Rollo!
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ahg1008 5y ago
Nothing is worth killing yourself man.. Everyone you think will give a fuck will simply continue living without you..
I_am_Jax_account 5y ago
It's a sad (but true) state of affairs when the information that saves modern men's live can essentially be summed up as, "don't give a woman any contractual, financial or emotional investment".
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red_philosopher 5y ago
This story exemplifies the threat women pose to men who refuse to embrace change and and apply rationality to a situation. As the world changes, you as well must change.
AllahHatesFags 5y ago
I took one look at Asia Argento and saw immediately that she was damaged goods. You'd think a man who has spent so much time traveling the world and has so many experiences would have been able to spot that but I guess he was a lot more beta and a lot less intelligent than he seemed. A man with that level of fame and fortune should have no problem banging hot women in their 20's on every continent but Bourdain was stupid enough to go for a post-wall feminist with tramp stamps and BPD. Such a waste...
zephyrprime 5y ago
An old guy with a lot of baggage will sometimes be able to relate much better with a woman who is damaged goods than with a girl who isn't. A girl who isn't damaged seems too innocent to them.
ReformSociety 5y ago
What the hell is up with your username?
And I agree--most celebrities aren't really that smart... we just build this image in our head that they're these incredible, god-like people due to their status.
I_am_Jax_account 5y ago
You know who is a surprisingly smart celebrity who people seem to categorize as stupid - Mike Tyson. He talks kind of awkwardly but that guy is seriously filled with insight and wisdom.
ReformSociety 5y ago
Blowing all his prize money and filing for bankruptcy doesn't scream 'smart, insightful, and wise' to me.
I_am_Jax_account 5y ago
He wasn't smart back then but if you watch his new stage show, he talks about what a "chump" he was, specifically with regards to Robin Givens, and he nails a lot of it right on the head. Lots of red pill truths in that show.
EscapeTheGoat 5y ago
My father is showing signs of dementia and I am deathly afraid of this situation too. Someone should make a post on protecting your family's assets from conniving women.
[deleted] 5y ago
Maybe talk to a lawyer? I’d imagine the solution would be to get his assets put into some sort of trust with the children in control of it.
Auvergnat 5y ago
Another fantastic piece, thanks.
Also loving the links to earlier, fundamental, posts. I always end up reading those new posts with five more tabs open to older posts to re-read.
I'm just astonished to see the mainstream answer to male suicide. Its only cause is depression. Its only cure is "more communication". The only thing done about it is sharing a phone number to a helpline, as if a man on the precipice of self-destruction wants to pour his heart out to a complete stranger on the phone.
I can understand that women can't even fathom the male condition and may be puzzled by this phenomenon, but surely men can fucking relate and understand and explain others? I didn't need Rollo's posts to figure that when a soldier kills himself after coming back from deployment to divorce papers and the reality that his wife doesn't love him and he won't be able to see his kids grow, it's goddamn fucking obvious why he did it!
SKRedPill 5y ago
You know when a man wants to give up on life?
When he has no solution or light at the end of the tunnel or when he feels everything he committed to was a waste of his life. He needs solutions, action steps and real help, not an emotional hose that does nothing to solve his problem. If you want an emotional boost, I should let you know that men push each other up by using strength, goals, orders, power talk, drive, never give up, etc... as motivational tools.
I've been there briefly when everything I did failed. Finally I told myself - I'm gonna fight and win, or I'm gonna go down fighting, but I won't quit on life, I will fight to the end. Joined the gym, yoga and meditation and found new goals to create value in.
I have observed many times the attempts of my mother or female relatives to try and help me when I was stressed by talking it out, but it never worked. Because what bothered me was not resolved. I also learnt later on that it was a bad idea to let them know of your issue down the road as well - the whole 'vulnerability' thing.
And that's why more communication never works for men. It achieves nothing, except maybe a little bit of solace in knowing you're not alone.
There is really only 2 things a man can do - solve it and accept it , break up with his past and move on. But there has to be some solution, some new way - the engine cannot be in throttle with no gear selected.
This is not so easy when there is so much commitment and investment, but sometimes realizing that this moment is the only one you live is very helpful. But so long as a solution or a new road isn't found, a man will hurt.
The male brain is driven to commit to value. When a man realizes that something he spent all that energy for had no use, the pain is on another level. He will then either fall apart or find something else of better value and commitment.
This might be just why spirituality is often stumbled upon by men. The Buddha himself had a red pill moment when it came to the reality of life. The answer to every issue a man faces is - strength, in some form. Females can be vulnerable, they support each other differently by venting out their emotions, while men need strength and answers.
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Dude this post is really hitting home. Fuck. You basically just described how I feel.
ImHerWonderland 5y ago
Do we have any posts here on the sub relating to stress and suicide? I'd love to read them, honestly feel like this sub is the only place where I can relate to people on a very personal level.
Edit: I reread your post and realized you essentially laid it out. I'd still be interested in seeing more posts like these if we have any, but thank you for taking the time to write this up.
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scissor_me_timbers00 5y ago
You do great work. It’s literally life saving to some. Bourdain may have not gone down such a doomed path w his women in the last few years of his life if he had been savvy to a red pill perspective.
It’s truly astonishing to me how our institutions of higher learning are actively misleading people about reality (not that’s its malicious— theyre just as deluded by their ideology), and the only way to get a grip on real dynamics in the real world on certain issues is to discard our institutions of higher learning and go to underground writers for an actual understanding. If you take a step back and really absorb the totality of our present situation in the West it really boggles the mind.
SovereignSoul76 5y ago
It's amazing to me that Rollo and Roissey are the absolute ONLY guys to discuss/highlight the role of his cheating GF in all of this. I mean I knew it wouldn't be the focus of mainstream media attention, but the silence was goddamn deafening. NOBODY?!
zephyrprime 5y ago
Did asia argento cheat on him?
iamtheswoop 5y ago
God, what a powerful article. I hadn't been following this story at all, but this is absolutely shocking! Thanks for all your work Rollo
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zyqkvx 5y ago
I read so much stuff I feel like I'm doing rounds around others.
Something that I find very interesting about GLO is he keeps dropping by and dropping references I've chuck never heard of before. How does he come upon this info? I'm about the last person that would ask that question.
I know all kind of profound stuff and rarely mention any of it because I know people don't want to hear it. GLO finds profound stuff from god knows where, and drops the info exactly where people are interested in it. There's a lesson here somewhere.
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dialecticwizard 5y ago
The presence of god did not prevent families sleeping 5 or 6 to a bed in Victorian London with a high incidence of parental abuse of the children. These social tendencies and the ones we have today are built into the surrounding social economies and in capitalism the fetishism of money and commodities are uppermost. And men as well as women are equally guilty. We. Those of us wise enough to be objective, see this.
sadomasochrist 5y ago
This was also planned for early in the industrial revolution. They knew that people would define themselves through products long before people were "Puma or Adidas" guys, or "an LV Woman."
I agree here as well. It's best to understand her in the same lens Bourdain has, just from a different angle.
While these men are looking for a woman to fill the void in their soul, the women they attract are trying to do the same thing. Mark Manson observes this form a blue pill lens. He needs a woman who will prop him up and reassure him that love, for the sake of love is real, all expecting the benefits that a woman's real love brings.
Guys delid themselves when they are confronted with evidence that is indisputable, that they are incongruent and they are accepting that for X number of years they were wrong. Or what we call a forced unplugging.
Here's the thing. I greatly dispute the idea of Cookie Lady having malevolent intent. You are in your own way too.
Now don't get me wrong. There are plenty of malevolent Cookie Ladies.
But most of the time, women are playing out their script and they're mostly passengers to this. If they were able to exercise self awareness to this end and control it, evolution could not function. So the idea that women are en masse manipulating men is just patently absurd, when instead, society simply allows her to operate spastically at the whims of desire.
And so as observers, a lot of other guys just look at these women master manipulators, when instead it's just two personality disordered people running into each other, and one draining the other until their supply runs out.
It might be cookies, for some men it's crazy sex etc. But either way, they don't know themselves or who they are, and they move right on.
At TRP the development of a true self is one part because there is a large minority of NPD men here, so it's part of the program here not by any random chance. The true self is necessary for resiliency, or else NPD men get drained by BPD or narcissistic women if they remain idealists.
We call this true self, the mission. To replace narcissistic pursuits with ones that are more resilient.
zyqkvx 5y ago
Insightful post, but riddled. They know what they are doing. It's just that there is no stigma. It's hard for men to grasp the rationale behind women's souless one-sided hauls. Men do something similar. The shirts I wear on my back, produce, electronics, etc. are produced by essentially caged slaves. Then it is shipped here and a local retail soft-slave rings it up for me. But there is no stigma so we do it with no abandon. We can rationalize 'it's sad, but best it gets', or ' I wasn't born a king and they weren't born in America'. There's just enough truth there to rationalize it and for the stigma to disappear for good. But women take that to the next level with pre-meditated conspiracies. They are able to rationalize it similarly as above and remove any stigma. I could only imagine what self talk that goes through their minds when they do it. Might be 'all the women do it, that's all we have.', or 'just because I can't lift a cement mixer doesn't mean I can't eat. I'm a surviver.' I doubt I nailed what's going through their head, but it's something that removes the stigma of the deeds.
Women and men are both extremely dangerous in different ways. Woman are below the radar because they are thought of as the stereotype moral nurturer.
harsheehorshee 5y ago
Um no anti Asian implications or racism need please. Especially if you haven't gone to those countries and only read us propaganda
zyqkvx 5y ago
You are calling me a racist to my face because I said there were slaves in china? That's libel, and an attack on my reputation.
Not only are you wrong, you started your argument with a cunty 'Um'. I rarely talk to pansies that start with 'Um'. Congrats on irking me.