Meditation has been quite a lifesaver for me. From just sleeping well at night to dealing with batshit crazy BPD chicks, there's not much that a good session can't help you with. For you guys who lift, have a good career, but still find yourself anxious when talking to girls meditation might also help you ground yourself more and it may be the missing piece that you need.
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But for most people who have never done it before, it can be a bit confusing and frustrating at first. There are so many types of meditation to choose from so where should you start? I recommend the Do Nothing meditation for beginners:
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Do Nothing Meditation:
1- Get into a comfortable position. No you don't need to assume the Lotus Pose. Just make sure you're comfortable. Sit with your back against the wall, or lie down on your back facing upwards, or lie on your sides, whatever. Make sure you feel as comfortable as possible. This is important.
2- Set your timer for at least 30 minutes
3- Close your eyes and Do Nothing. And I mean do nothing. Don't try to clear your thoughts. Don't try to relax. Don't do anything. If you're tense just be tense for a while. If your mind is racing with thoughts let it do its thing. If you feel anger/loss/shame about losing your oneitis then feel that. Do not do anything to stop it.
4- DO NOT MOVE. This is the most important part. Let your mind and emotions run havoc as much as it wants but your physical body must stay STILL. This is why it's so important to find a comfortable position. NO MOVING is allowed in this meditation. Don't twitch your fingers, don't fidget your arms/legs/whatever. Be completely, physically, still.
5- Hang in there until your timer goes off.
6- If you move, you fucked up. Reset the timer and start again.
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That's it. That's the Do Nothing meditation.
Why this works:
Anxiety is caused by a feedback loop between the body and the mind. A thought occurs, you feel it in the body, you react to it by fidgeting, the mind picks it back up and adds to it, and so on and so forth.
By forcing your body to remain perfectly still, you essentially cut the loop. It's no longer a closed loop and the signal can't build up anymore. You're also simplifying things by not trying to do too many things at once. Beginner meditators often have expectations of clearing the mind and getting rid of negative thoughts. Ironically, the pressure they put on themselves is also making those same negative thoughts and mind clutter stronger. So let the mind do whatever it wants, while you just focus your attention on not moving the body at all.
Doing this will also help you to be more mindful of your body in general, and the side effect of that is reduced anxiety and stress.
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All the best, guys. Hope you liked this short tutorial.
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ethansight 5y ago
Setting a timer right now, I tried the meditation sub but of course TRP has the most relevant info hah. Great post!
majorbollocks 5y ago
Awesome mate. Let me know how it went for you
dDiegoDLV 5y ago
A for Effort OP, but D for content. Just sit there and do nothing for 30 minutes as a first meditation session?
This was posted somewhere else on TRP I think https://quietkit.com/.
I think Headspace has a couple weeks of free 10 minute meditations. There are other meditation apps.
LightSkinKen 5y ago
The trick for me is to be present. Eckhart tolle says when you think of the past, when do you think about it ? NOW! When you think of the future , when do you think about that? Now! And when the future does happen, when does that take place? Now!!
Really Ask yourself: is there a way I can know for sure, if my right hand is still there?
This basic question should get you out your head or hopefully eliminate the thoughts altogether, and start viewing through your body and the present
[deleted] 5y ago
I prefer this one, it takes just 3 min ;-) .. f#*k that meditation
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=92i5m3tV5XY
PranksterLad 5y ago
Not sure how to start and what’s the best way to start
zncmckskaowidixjsjai 5y ago
10 minutes is enough, especially if you are a newbie
When thoughts come accept and acknowledge them.
[deleted] 5y ago
Tried this, still not levitating
[deleted] 5y ago
Newbie here! How does one accept a thought? Do you let it run its natural course or recognize it and remove it?
majorbollocks 5y ago
Thoughts are to the mind what heartbeats are to the heart. Thoughts happen to you, not the other way around. They happen to you whether you like it or not, with or without your consent. Even if you don't want them, they will still be there. They are very impersonal. They don't care about you and whether or not you need to be bothered at the moment. Sometimes the thoughts that intrude your consciousness are super fucked up thoughts that make you go wtf..
Once you realise this you'll learn to disassociate yourself from your thoughts. And when you get to a certain level of disassociation, it'll help you out in cold approaches, dates, sex, lifting, job interviews and frankly a whole lot of other things that involve having a clear mind.
[deleted] 5y ago
Thanks for the wonderful response, suddenly letting my thoughts become my existence feels irrational
NotSoHastyHobbit 5y ago
Just let it come and go, like the air that fills your lungs and leaves and the blood that leaves and enters your heart.
zncmckskaowidixjsjai 5y ago
I recognise it and when I do, the thougt removes by itself because i do not attach emotion to it.
[deleted] 5y ago
So the trick is to restrain emotion and letting it pass by recognising it and letting it pass?
zncmckskaowidixjsjai 5y ago
You aceept it, you do not testrain it, if you try to restrain it, it will not go away.
majorbollocks 5y ago
Accepting and acknowledging thoughts is actually more advanced. Easier and simpler to control physical stillness instead of mental stillness. Also, 30 minutes is good because Do Nothing takes a longer time to set in since you let mind clutter continue on purpose.
monkey__harris 5y ago
I'm sure 30 minutes is better, but for someone who has never done it before, 10 minutes is enough. Even 5 minutes can be a challenge. Meditation is wonderful, but the most important thing is to make it a regular practice. Starting at 30 minutes is a hurdle for most people.
[deleted] 5y ago
30 minutes of doing nothing? you must really have a really busy life lol
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LadzOnToure 5y ago
I’ve been meditating pretty much every day for the past 2 years. This is a helpful post but a few points:
it’s generally advised to not be as comfy as possible. You should sit with your back straight to help you stay alert. Just sat up right in a chair is fine. Likelihood is if you are laying down you will get tired or drowsy (sometimes referred to in Buddhist teachings as dullness).
wouldn’t advise beginners to start with 30 minutes. 5-10 minutes is a better place to start otherwise you will be discouraged and probably give up.
PranksterLad 5y ago
Ladz,
Can you help me get started with meditation, I really really want to get into it seriously.
majorbollocks 5y ago
Dude I just wrote a post for newbies getting started with meditation lol. What specifically are you having difficulty with?
LadzOnToure 5y ago
I’d recommend downloading the Headspace app. They do guided meditations and I’m pretty sure they still offer a free trial for 30 days. It’s the best app I’ve come across for teaching the basics and helping you get into a regular routine.
PranksterLad 5y ago
I thought Andy from Headspace was just in it for the money and wasn't really good.
LadzOnToure 5y ago
What makes you say that or where have you heard that? I’m not here to advertise Headspace, but I also feel obligated to defend Andy due to how much his teachings / app has improved my life. He spent 10 years meditating in India, Nepal, Russia, Thailand etc and sometimes was meditating up to 18 hours a day. watch his talks / interviews on YouTube and if you still believe he is in it only for the money feel free to explain why.
jango1502 5y ago
What to do when I am in this situation where I can only focus on my breathe for not more than few secs?? Any suggestion on that?
majorbollocks 5y ago
no that's concentration meditation, not doing nothing meditation. It's two different things. Doing nothing meditation is just that - doing nothing. No need to focus on anything or direct your attention to anything. Just watch your mind and body do their thing. Usually the mind is the busiest. Just watch it be busy. If you're just starting out you'll get swept up in the mind's latest dramas. That's ok. Just switch back to watching mode.
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icecruzader 5y ago
Try to sink your focus into your body. I like to imagine a shape of a body and imagine it occupying the space of my body. It really get me out of my head and into the meditation.
LadzOnToure 5y ago
That’s normal. If you meditate regularly for long enough you will improve your ability to sustain focus
jango1502 5y ago
Thanks for the motivation...so I just have to close my eyes everyday for 15-30mins and try to do nothing and let the focus problem gets improve automatically !?
LadzOnToure 5y ago
Don’t think of it as doing nothing. Meditation is active and you are directing your attention on the breath and following it. This is difficult because we spend most of our lives constantly distracted by our phones, TVs etc. Our minds are constantly wandering and we spend our lives lost in thought. It is surprisingly difficult to sustain your focus on one thing and be in the present moment. Your focus will improve if you keep training, every time your mind wanders, bring it back to the breath and re-focus. Think of it as similar to going to the gym, if you keep training your muscles they become stronger and can lift heavier weights. If you keep training your focus in this way it will naturally improve quickly.
jango1502 5y ago
Got it .. will try tomorrow itself
Koryphae_ 5y ago
try now, set alarm clock for 2min and go for it.
[deleted] 5y ago
I have never tried meditating because the thoughts just go off on their normal tangents. Anyway, I couldn't sleep last night. Was up until about 2am. Happened to read this post and said, why not give an honest go at meditating- like get past the part where the voices keep wrapping around themselves. So, I sat in a corner and forced myself not to move until the 20 minutes elapsed on the timer. When that 20 minutes was over, I laid back into bed and went right to sleep. I still didn't get much sleep, but had control of my energy next day. Something felt different about me. This was very good advice and I thank you for posting it.
majorbollocks 5y ago
Glad it helped. Keep doing it. The fact that you managed to sleep after the 20 minutes are up means that your body is responding to the meditation. Be sure to keep it up for maximum results. You'll be sleeping like a baby in two months or less mark my words.
smileceo 5y ago
How do you avoid to fall asleep?
SpaderAce 5y ago
I can't meditate lying down. I fall asleep too. Try sitting with your legs criss crossed and your back straight. Keeping your back straight helps you stay awake in my experience.
unbanned24 5y ago
I have the same problem people are gonna say sleep more
majorbollocks 5y ago
I think that's common for beginners. That happens because maybe you're used to having a busy mind and when the mind is less busy the body thinks it's tired and wants to fall asleep. Just sleep then. No problem. If that's the case then meditate at night before you sleep.
I used to fall asleep everytime I meditate but nowadays I feel very energised and can't sleep so I switch to meditating in the mornings instead of at night like I used to
Genius1001 5y ago
Thanks for the post I have been meditating for about 3 months and I'm seeing results now.
AlQWEffos239 5y ago
Is music for background effect prohibited?
majorbollocks 5y ago
It's much better to sit in silence. The whole point of meditation is building impulse control and a more stable mind. Relaxing music will only introduce another form of impulse pathway.
riggedved 5y ago
I would highly recommend preparing before meditation.
Preparation involves doing some internal breathing excercises. These enhance meditation and provide resistance free energy pathways.
First, do the “Lom Vilom Pranayama “ for 6-7 minutes. This involves alternatively inhaling from one nostril and exhaling from the other. Google this for a detailed description.
Next, do the “exhale flutter” for 4-5 minutes. This involves doing quick, short, powerful exhalations from the nose. The focus should be on exhaling and not inhaling.
majorbollocks 5y ago
Nope none of this is necessary. Meditation in essence is just sitting in silence. It's about confronting the rawness of your own mind and psyche. That's hard enough already without having to add complex rules on top of it. Stick to the basics first and you'll be fine.
Cloudsurf89 5y ago
Will aim for 20 mins to start.
Serious question, what about an itch? Just calmly scratch it and carry on or do you then reset the timer?
Thanks for you post
Empodocles 5y ago
Don't scratch it. Observe the feeling, feel the itch, but do not scratch. You will feel it fading away. Focus on your breathing if it helps distract you.
cumfortably_dumb 5y ago
Not a good advice, just like it okay to let the negative thoughts wander in your mind pool, its okay to itch. Just redo it. If not immediately, then later.
You have to remember, you are trying to relax.
monkey__harris 5y ago
Meditation is not about relaxation. The point is to feel sensations but not react to them. Obviously if you're in serious pain then you move. But for something like an itch you should first try and be with that sensation, exploring it, paying attention to it, rather than reacting to it. Then, if you need to scratch, you scratch and come back to the moment.
majorbollocks 5y ago
You're both right actually. Meditation is about creating a space between stimulus/impulses and the action in response. Usually the moment you feel an itch you want to scratch it immediately and you do. With meditation you train yourself to watch the sensations first without doing anything. You can scratch it later if you want but the point is that you didn't react to it reflexively.
It can then be applied to a ton of things in life:
- If you're not in the mood to lift, you watch the laziness for a while and make your choice later instead of just scrapping it because you're not in the mood. Do it often and you will eventually be able to ignore your moods altogether and go lift any day you want.
- Instead of wanking to bust a nut, you can now wank to enjoy the whole experience and you can last longer in bed too. Yup sexual pleasure is also a sensation that can be watched.
- Instead of caving in and texting that bitch who dropped you over some stupid fight, you can now just watch your emotions and only decide to act the next day or preferably not at all. I've had girls come back to me because I just left them hanging and never gave them the satisfaction of an all out argument. Drives em crazy when you do that.
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Jay-jay1 5y ago
I like to meditate outdoors sometimes. In such cases I address the itch before whatever it is bites me.
cumfortably_dumb 5y ago
You did a better job at explaining what i wanted to. Thanks
icecruzader 5y ago
I'd add "Get in your body and out of your head" It's been the most helpful advice I've gotten to notably improve the results of my meditating.
krimpenrik 5y ago
for me it really helped in the beginnen to observe my breathing, this would help my mind stop racing/thinking about random things.
[deleted] 5y ago
i thought your supposed to not allow anything to think. what op described is "mindful meditation".
majorbollocks 5y ago
nope thoughts are not up to you. the fastest way to make thoughts even stronger is by trying to control them and "silence" them. You do not think. Thoughts are forced on you by your own mind.
The best way to counter this is to watch your mind being busy. Let it think whatever it wants, but keep your autonomy by deciding to not get involved.
dianachan84 5y ago
What if mosquito bites are itching? Sorry to comment this way to a serious post meant to help others but it is a serious question. Mosquitoes love me
majorbollocks 5y ago
Go someplace where there are no mosquitoes. Or invest in one of those mosquito nets. Get as comfy as you possibly can.
dianachan84 5y ago
I did. Some bite me anyway and manage to get in when i go in the garden even just a minute to hang the laundry. And even one or two days old bites can itch again all of a sudden. I spent all summer covered in mosquito bites
cumfortably_dumb 5y ago
well a very good question!! Since you cant do anything about it, stop pondering over it and start again. If you think, it was not my fault and you dont re-do it, I question you, did you really want to do it in the first place?
confusedguy911911 5y ago
Bpd chicks ? Bro you looking to get destroyed ? That’s like sticking your dick in a viper pit?
majorbollocks 5y ago
The only weapon BPD chicks have is emotions. If we have complete control over our emotions and not get attached, BPD and other cluster B chicks are the easiest lays of all. THEY will come to YOU to have sex. No game required. But then it's just sex they're not good for LTRs
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