I am a big fan of festivals and raves. I've always managed to meet a "rave bae" and hook up by the end of the night. Music festivals and raves are a great place to meet and hook up with women and I want to share my strategy.
First and foremost, you've bought a ticket to a music festival. You ideally should have bought this ticket for the music, for the fun, for the experience. This should be your #1 priority. If you're buying a ticket with the main goal of hooking up with women, you're doing it for the wrong reason and it will show in your demeanor resulting you being outcasted as a "rave bro."
The biggest thing is to have fun, genuine fun. Everybody can see when you are having genuine fun, especially women. This is a huge key to having success. If you're there with one goal in mind of deliberating seeking out women to fuck, you will stick out like a sore thumb. Don't go to an EDM event if you don't enjoy EDM.
If an event starts around 6PM and ends at 4AM. I will usually show up with my small group of friends around 8PM. You can definitely roll solo but I have found it exponentially more fun going with a group of friends who I genuinely enjoy having fun and dancing with and enjoy similar music. I usually go with the same group of 3 guys and we all have the same goal of having fun, meeting women and hooking up.
The first few hours is what we call our free time. Throwing it back to the old RSD days where they preached about having the first few hours in the club and doing whatever you want during that time period. This really releases you from that inner shy shell you may be having from work all week. Cut loose, get rid of all the jitters, and have a blast with your buddies but don't use it as an excuse all night to not approach any girls.
My friends and I will just dance and genuinely have a great time with each other. We pump each other up, we all can dance, and we make each other laugh. We really don't need anybody else and even if we didn't meet any women that night, we can still have a genuine, fun time with each other. I have come to look forward more to those few hours with my friends than the pursuit of women at times.
We will start "the hunt" around 11PM. You're going to want to find a girl by midnight or they might all be taken. Now don't take that as a solid rule. I've solidified my girl for the night as early as 9PM and as late as 3AM. Women are also actively looking for a "rave bae" of their own. Just realize, that there are women there who just want to enjoy the music, ones that are open to the idea of meeting someone, and some are just straight ready to hook up.
We will move around the crowd and find an area with groups of girls and continue dancing and having a great time. My friends and I know how to dance and I feel this has fast tracked our success at festivals. Girls equate good dancing to good fucking. Dance and have fun, take up space, and enjoy the moment with your boys.
Start looking around and start making eye contact with the women around you. By this point, if you're genuinely having a good time, they will start taking a notice. Now if you've been to a festival or rave before, you'll know that a lot of people are fucked up on something and it makes it extremely easy. It makes it easy because girls are more open (I've had more girls open me and dance on me and I didn't have to approach them at all) and guys get so fucked up they just stand there and do nothing and if they do, they're a babbling idiot.
Here's the key part.
If you get prolonged eye contact from a girl, smile (like you always should), if she smiles back, it's a go. You need to make a move right then and there and not hesitate.
My go to move is the "Hand of God." It dates back to mystery method days and I have found it works extremely well in dance game because you're not asking for permission but you're not being pushy and too aggressive at the same time.
Hand of god is simple. Once you make eye contact, smile and get the smile back. Just reach your hand out and if she takes your hand, just spin her towards you and start dancing and having fun like you were with your boys.
There are ways you can fuck up the hand of god though. You need to not appear to be needy, like you need her to take your hand or else. When you stick your hand out, You need to feel like you are the one pulling them into your world and giving value, and that value is fun. If you give off any other vibe, it's game over.
Girls just have to have a good time and if you show that you are genuinely having a good time, they will want to be pulled into your world, your frame.
Now you might need to do this a few times before the approach anxiety goes away. You will have girls who will flat out say no, you will have shy girls, you will even have fatties try and come out and dance with you without you asking. You shouldn't be affected by these rejections, you should be having such a good time with your friends that nothing can bring down that frame.
After you start dancing, you need to keep escalating. Dancing is fun for a bit but it gets boring if you don't escalate and change it up and have fun. Don't be butt hurt if a girl leaves, there is so much stimulus going on and you can only hold their attention for so long if you're not escalating and hooking up.
Just follow the simple DiCarlo escalation ladder. Hook up on the dance floor, pull to a bathroom, or get the logistics for a pull after the event. Keep in mind that a lot of girls will be rolling and after their rolls are over, their feelings with change as well.
Just have fun with your solid group of friends and make sure you enjoy your time at the festival. Hell you paid for the event and to listen to that music, be present enough to enjoy it and don't worry too much about finding a random. Your enjoyment and good times with your boys are what matters most. I have been blessed with a solid group of friends who know this, can have fun with each other, can dance, and almost everyone of us pulls at every festival we go to.
I'll be at HARD summer at the end of this week!
AsschenSukar 5y ago
This is exactly how I've always felt. Hence the deep regret that many of my male friends don't/can't dance very well. I don't let it stop me, though.
The part about being in your world, having fun, that's so crucial. Women can tell if you're just looking to score, and they'll trip you up.
OP's advice, in my opinion, applies to parties in general, and it should be taken to heart.
clitman69420 5y ago
Take a roll go up to random ppl and dance (in a fun manner; not thirsty) eventually you’ll vibe with someone
Freedomoverbitches 5y ago
Another tip, don't take too much MD, keep it chill. If you're munching your jaws away and generally too fucked up, no one is going to sleep with you. But OP points are 100% solid.
shadexs55 5y ago
Ayyyy fellow raver, are you based in SoCal by any chance? I need TRP raver friends, it's shitty going to raves with bluepillers that are fun to rage with but can't pull like we do.
fortegould 5y ago
Wrong. All the fun is in sneaking in. Only beta bux spends money to get into a festival that is easily accessed with a costume and confidence. /s but not /s
rcsob 5y ago
I've always wanted to try raving. What's the best way to get into raves?
xShadoWChaoSx 5y ago
get some molly or LSD and then go with the homies. best time of your life. raving is life changing
rcsob 5y ago
What I mean is that I dont know how to find raves
xShadoWChaoSx 5y ago
Music festivals. EDC. Bassrush. Gold rush. Decadence. Etc. they all have facebook pages
rcsob 5y ago
Thank you so much! Also I just got roll random. Hopefully I will be able to get some friends into it.
xShadoWChaoSx 5y ago
What’s that? And yeah bro just convince them to go once. It’s life changing especially if you’re rolling
idontevenlift37 5y ago
I was wondering if there were any fellow ravers here in TRP. Totally agree with your advice, genuinely enjoying yourself and having fun is key. I see way too many guys at festivals who only go to meet girls, and they never look like they are having a good time.
GorgeousGamer99 5y ago
You said it my dude. Fellow raver checking in (trance/hardstyle), and I see sooooo many typical 18-year old bros try and fuck up the vibe of the event by being stupid aggressive towards every single girl. They ruin the experience, and more often than not they leave empty handed. I've never managed to close with a rave bae, but I sure as shit get closer than those douches by going for the music and atmosphere, with girls a distant 3rd priority.
shadexs55 5y ago
Any chance you're socal based?
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idontevenlift37 5y ago
Yeah girls definitely should not be a priority; when girls are at a rave they know they’ll get even more attention than usual so it’s even harder to stand out from other guys. That’s why it’s important to just focus on enjoying yourself. I’ve had a fair amount of opportunity’s to get a rave bae but I’ve only had a few, because frankly I prefer to be single at festivals, it’s more fun that way in my experience.
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Ayoung4u 5y ago
My method is to mosh so hard at raves that I’m exhausted and all the tension is out of my body. It makes me super relaxed, especially when you have a great mosh, with good friends, in the pit. It’s truly a bonding experience, like war to music.
After this, I almost always start dancing with a girl who was around the pit or one who I later approach. I also roll pretty hard though, so that could influence how much enjoyment I get out of moshing.
Who’s going to moonrise? Hope to see you in a mosh.
UbermenschUnicorn 5y ago
Another really good tip for festivals, especially the ones that aren’t too big like EDC, is talk to everybody. You’re at a gas station before the festival to buy gas, and you see other festival goers? Go talk to them.
This has 3 main advantages:
-It allows you to break your shell. The more you talk to people, the more confident you’ll become, and the less approach anxiety you’ll have. Get the snowball rolling early.
-It can give you status. If you talk with a lot of people and you’re charismatic enough, then maybe later on, they’ll say hi to you when you’re with a girl. The girl will think you must have status since a lot of people know you.
-The more people you talk with, the more chances you have of meeting a girl.
NikolaiVuhg 5y ago
Good post. I always talk about how when I’m on molly and I get a good 6-7 seconds of eye contact with a girl, it’s a wrap.
KeffirLime 5y ago
Pretty much sums it up, couple things I'd add in there,
- Don't get too fucked up, doesn't look as charming as you think
- if it doesn't happen early on, move on
- Once you've hooked, build sexual tension, close dancing, feel her up
- If you want to bang at festival and you feel the vibe is there, tell her "let's go for a walk" and direct it to a place you can do it, or if you're sure say "somewhere quiet"
- Wrap it up, these girls are loose, avoid admin later on
RandomTRPan0n 5y ago
Id also reiterate the ideal time
You should be leaving to close with the girl by midnight. That should be your general timeframe.
Edit: misworded above--you should be working on closing around midnight. Best time to leave is around 1am-2am.
MarcosDomingues 5y ago
Have you ever actually been to a festival? Most people only come at 1AM
HerefortheTuna 5y ago
Most festivals I’ve gone to are more afternoon/ evening affairs. 12-1am basically. And yes people fuck in the bathrooms (gross)
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REAL_TALK_YA_CUNT 5y ago
Your local county fair is not really a festival.
Tastyhobo 5y ago
Coachella ends at midnight
DeontologicalSanders 5y ago
Lol.
TRP: The only place where you can go from reading a thread about how morality in the absence of choice is merely a rationalization of male weakness, to one about how to bang patchouli-smelling chicks with dreadlocks while listening to Wilco.
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sobrage 5y ago
Going to a festival today, but with only one friend and he has a gf. Dont think he'll be down to approach girls, what should I do?
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sobrage 5y ago
But it's just me and my friend
xShadoWChaoSx 5y ago
Roll and approach all the hot bitches solo. it's ez
oklivred 5y ago
You mentioned that you and your friend group could dance well multiple times. What did you guys do to get good at dancing and what kind of dancing do you do?
DonaldBaelish 5y ago
In New York my niggas milly rock.
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hawkeaglejesus 5y ago
"Dancing doesn't have to look good, it just has to look fun."
DavidEagle68 5y ago
I can attest to this... I do latin music, and whenever I feel shitty, I typically end up dancing shitty. Being happy, and moving your body is hard, and it takes practice to become normalized.
shinolas 5y ago
YouTube styles you like. Lots of tutorials available. Practice them. Really that simple. Honestly all you need is about three moves that most people can’t do (most people can’t do anything special) and be able to keep a smooth rhythm and then it will be considered that you “can dance” to most people.
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shadexs55 5y ago
Socal based!!!!!! Are you doing Hard Summer?
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sebass1223 5y ago
How would you dance like that alone? Cause to me that just looks like grinding
mitchiejones 5y ago
The dude is full of shit lmao, anyone takes this advice is....
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Gl0weN 5y ago
For real lmao
''me and my boys know how to dance''
''we dance with each other for an hour or so aka swinging aka grinding on each others ass like puss bois''
shinolas 5y ago
Lol if you’ve never had fun dancing with your crew you don’t know how to have a good time. The way he wrote is kind of cringe but his scenario is plausible.
Gl0weN 5y ago
Who said no one ever had fun dancing with their own crew? I was just repeating what he said.
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shinolas 5y ago
Lol if you’ve never had fun dancing with your crew you don’t know how to have a good time. The way he wrote is kind of cringe but his scenario is plausible.
Drumcode-Equals-Life 5y ago
Pretty much what I was thinking, as a rave veteran and techno DJ it reads as bullshit. I rarely pull on the main floor at the club or warehouse, it’s always in the green room or after party where the real action is found.
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johnyann 5y ago
What I picture when dudes tell me they know how to dance
cpk8080 5y ago
If all else fails... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CyW1FZxHC-Y
You're welcome. "Theres some good ass grabbing going on out there"
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xiannnnnn 5y ago
Hard summer is at the end of this week?
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DadOnDabs 5y ago
Any examples you could link of rave dancing?
Wardenclyffe1917 5y ago
For anyone that needs it: The DiCarlo Escalation Ladder
redpill77 5y ago
I couldn't find this when someone mentioned before. Such a great resource.
DaddyIssues6 5y ago
The biggest thing I’ve noticed going to these Raves is that you MUST standout. There is an extremely large pool of RaveBros and Tweakers, and then the dudes who just look around aimlessly inspecting he entire crowd, never really looking FOR something.
These past few raves (BassRush, NRG, EDC), ive managed to bring a new dance into light called Skanking or DnB Step which is primarily performed with Drum and Bass music but can work with the semi to high BPM EDM Genres. Girls could not stop staring at me. They’d come up to me, ask me what I was doing, tell me how amazing I was, and would want me to teach them. They came to me!
If you can dance and do it well, you can pick up rave girls no problem. Otherwise, you need to have a unique character; funny, artistic, wise, etc. just be different, and be vastly different. Whether you’re going in alone or with a group, make sure you stand out and the ravebaes will flock naturally to you
StJupiter 5y ago
I’m going to be at HARD Summer this weekend as well. I’d be interested in meeting up and hearing more about your escapades if it was at all possible. PM me man
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redvelvet_oreo 5y ago
Next year I really want go to Holy Ship. It looks like such a fun time man. I’m surprised there has not been a movie about that event.
youngSvenVanderwater 5y ago
Yesss.. I went to a dirty bird bbq earlier this year and there was an entire section of Holyship people
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youngSvenVanderwater 5y ago
Never thought I would find a vonstroke cultist like myself in TRP
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redvelvet_oreo 5y ago
haha just to make a small world smaller. Where you from? I been craving a dirtybird party man. I went to the MMW throw down last year, dope ass party.
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Failedredemption 5y ago
A majority of these girls are on ketamine and mdma.. it’s not that hard and I honestly would rather not have sex with a girl that has been railed by more than 30 dudes.
Old-Jewish 5y ago
90% of women have been railed by over 30 dudes
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Lmao he probably meant in that weekend
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Drumcode-Equals-Life 5y ago
Not recommended if you actually want to fuck, difficult staying hard on amphetamines
clitman69420 5y ago
Bro.. at edc Vegas went to this girl’s airbnb after the fest and had the hardest time ever I get like ptsd from the whole situation ????
ArdAtak 5y ago
1000% disagree. It can happen depending on your health, age, timing (how long ago you took it), and volume.
But it's absolutely an enhancer and makes for some epic mind-blowing sex. Especially when you're both on it.
DayGameChirality 5y ago
It's not absolutely an enhancer. I have no libido on M.
Drumcode-Equals-Life 5y ago
Eh, sex while rolling is overrated IMO, but to each their own
ElijahBurningWoods 5y ago
What happens between the hookup on the dancefloor and the pulling to the bathroom?
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Metalgear222 5y ago
See you there this weekend! Going with a group of 8 with an airbnb nearby, only thing I can't decide is if I want to roll or not. I've rolled at an amusement park before and it was one of the best times in my life. Does anyone have experience with this at a festival that can chime in?
wander_company 5y ago
Absolutely do it bro, its part of the festival experience...just stay properly hydrated and dont drink too much alcohol.
Also, if you can actually get a decent amount of molly theres no better way to magnatize girls to you, they're all down to do it, just be aware of age...you'd be surprised how many underaged girls (and dudes) get into the bigger festivals
zeekt12 5y ago
Going to a festival on Sunday, thanks for this brah
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kevin_le0 5y ago
You can also do a PLUR handshake after you make eye contact and smile. This helped me brake the touch barrier, it’s like an unspoken code or something cool you can show around to someone who hasn’t seen it yet.
Yeah it’s gay as fuck, but it helps get the ball rolling.
VAlackey 5y ago
This made me burst out laughing, but it’s so true lmao.
bitcoin4urthoughts 5y ago
Helps if you also have candy (colorful bracelets for those who dont know). Another thing that could be considered "gay as fuck" but chicks looove to trade candy. You're at a music festival so at least try to look like you fit in.
DayGameChirality 5y ago
Don't try to look like you fit in. Fit in.
RedCardForMeJeff 5y ago
Could've used this this past weekend but i'll save this for future reference, thanks!
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youngSvenVanderwater 5y ago
Haha awesome!! I’m in Houston
temerity18 5y ago
Very detailed and broad instructions. Thanks AA
0fficialRider99 5y ago
Lmao, you did a good job. Don’t laugh but I want to be up on the stage performing and want to be able to just point and have a chick slide like a male siren lol. On some Weeknd or G-Eazy, drake type shit. I know how much work that will take I just needed to put it out there for the universe to conspire while I work hard. Good luck to your aspirations as well my gents.
xmanonthemoonx 5y ago
Keep working! I’m an aspiring musician as well and can totally relate to this. Believe in yourself!
shinolas 5y ago
Just get into your local scene as a DJ. A stage is a stage to chicks my dude.
DayGameChirality 5y ago
DJing sounds boring as fuck tho.
shinolas 5y ago
Does it? Because you don’t actually know how it works and you assume you’re just pressing play and standing there?
DayGameChirality 5y ago
It sounds boring because it is playing someone else's songs. I don't see the point of being a cover band when I can create my own stuff and control much more of the parameters coz of the access to all separate tracks. It just doesn't sound like I have much control over how the whole tracks are being played. As for instrumental music, I've never bothered nor had motivation to learn someone else's songs as well. It's not that I deem it beneath me, I genuinely have little interest.
Tell me more about it.
shinolas 5y ago
If you have little interest and think it’s just playing other people’s music why should I bother dude.
DayGameChirality 5y ago
What kind of DJing do you do? I know a lot of dub techno, however I find most of it boring. There are some interesting dub techno tracks though. Is the DJs work then to put together a mix of music that he finds interesting?
shinolas 5y ago
So to properly respond here it's going to be a bit long.
To start, I also find most techno extremely repetitive and boring. I mix house, hip hop, and bass music. Before I moved for career, I was a resident at one of the most popular clubs in my city that used local guys rather than bringing in big names.
First point is, if you are musically inclined, you don't have to just play other people's music. You can produce and play a lot of your own tracks. If you're playing a four hour set, you wouldn't want to just play your own tracks anyways. Second point is, even if you are not playing your own music, there are many ways to mix extremely creatively. Live mash up, acapellas, looping, hook switches, double drops, isolating elements and carrying them through the next track, track teasing, turntablism, firing samples, effects, the list goes on. People can spend hours upon hours putting together sets and published mixes, trying to find creative and unique mixes and flows. I know I have.
The main job of the DJ is to play the crowd, and not himself. The goal is to keep your crowd engaged, interested and not burn them out. In some establishments, you want to "turn the floor" but that's another topic. I learned the hard way you don't just mix for yourself. You want to take your crowd on a journey. You pace the energy levels and raise the tension in the room slowly and release it at peak hour with massive tracks that the crowd loves or will be able to release the build up to and repeat this process throughout the night. If you just play banger after banger, the crowd quickly tires and gets bored.
The feeling of being in control of an entire club's vibe is a great one. Just thinking about some of the better nights where I was completely in tune with the crowd and them with me still brings a smile to my face. There's just something about dropping the right track at the right time and having the entire club react positively or killing a complicated routine AND having the crowd wondering how the fuck you made it happen while going hard on the dance floor. It's like those aux cord memes on steroids.
Hey, you might still find that boring because there isn't an instrument in your hands and your not in complete control of every aspect of the music but I would then still say you don't actually get what DJing is about. It's about connecting with your crowd. It's about the love of the music, even if it's not your own. At the end of the day, I love making people dance.
DayGameChirality 5y ago
Thanks for the elaborate reply. Makes sense, and I think I've found some of my own reasons to try DJing as well. There's only so much time you can put into one thing in your life, IMO: I don't want to be doing something all day all week, I can't be creating music everyday for 8 hours, that doesn't work for me. However! Making mixes is a different thing. And listening to new music can go both ways: DJing and creating my own music. Time management!
I don't know majority of those terms. What are good resources online to learn all that? I work in Ableton Live with Midi controllers so I'd most likely be using that. I've seen some DJs use vinyls but I don't buy into the hype, even my DJ friend used to do vinyls + Serato and he switched to Ableton, mostly because of being able to program everything himself for his needs.
What's that?
I think I was too harsh and rigid when I first posted my doubts. Inflexible mind leftovers. As for the instrument, I just remembered that my friend has a KORG Kaoss Pad. It's a multi FX touch pad, I had great fun with it plugged after the sum. Obviously this could give the whole mix a completely different vibe, though.
Ah, I do like techno. Not all, but some. Dub techno is like (minimal techno)^2. However there are some great tracks. I like trancey music that puts you into deep trance. Gotta be a mix between repetetive and engaging. There are even some studies about it, albeit very, very limited. Music trance is an underresearched topic.
shinolas 5y ago
Yes, you can certainly do both. That is what almost every DJ you know does. And making mixes is a lot of fun. A friend and I have a mix series we do. We'll get together, have some beers or smoke, throw ideas together, find new tracks, try new transitions, it's a blast. And our entire friend group always looks forward to the lastest release. They're pretty popular for no name guys on soundcloud. And then there's prepping for a gig, which is it's own fun and challenge. Normally I'll create a set list that I'll improvise from, jump in and out of it, hitting routines along the way.
I use a Traktor S4, which is a controller and I use it with the Traktor software. I taught myself from YouTube and djtechtools.com. djtechtools.com is great if you're going to use Traktor and a controller. I've never learned abelton live, but you can 100% find almost everything you need to know via YouTube tutorials. The second way I learned was once i had the basics of my gear and mixing down, I would listen to mixes and sets from my favorite artists and then recreate them. I learned tons of new transitions and techniques this way. Vinyl is old school and cool, but it's dying tech. If you want more control and the ability to program, stay digital.
Turning the floor means when your spinning in a club, there are likely people dancing and people on the outskirts. The idea is to get the people dancing to take a break and go grab drinks (aka spend money) while getting the people on the outskirts onto the floor. Usually accomplished with a genre change or going from a high energy banger to something more chill.
A complicated routine just means a pre planned group of songs and or samples, acapellas, that you play in a set way. Some mixes just really couldn't be created on the fly with quick transitions, up to four decks playing at the same time, etc etc. Over the years I have a lot of routines I came up with at home, usually while making a published mix, that I'll jump to in live sets when they fit.
There are "DJs" that play completely via MPC or drum machines, or that incorporate other electronic instruments or even live instrumentation into their sets. Check out The Glitch Mob, GRiZ, Araab Muzik, Gryffin, and to an extent Illenium.
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