Greetings!
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Recently entered a LTR, and three months in, she started acting bitchy. She started making biggest deals out of the smallest things, and stupid (light arguments) would ensue from silliest of topics. Stupid shit. On top of that, she also showed less affection and her tone conveyed a general lack of disrespect.
So I had two options:
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1) Cushion her with love and agree with her, telling her she’s right, apologizing...hell, maybe even do the dishes to make up for it.
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2) Not take her shit and my ground.
Well I did both. Can you guess what the reaction was with option #1?
It got worse, she disrespected me more, because she thought she could get away with it. She even began pushing me away more?
So I tried option #2. The next time she gave me a tone, or started an argument about stupid shit. I calmly told her that her tone/comment was inappropriate, uncalled for, and frankly disrespectful to the relationship. I told her communication would cease competely until she learned to communicate properly.
She kept talking and saying it was somehow my fault, but I ignored her, doing my own thing. She finally broke through and apologized profusely, showering me with love, and affection.
I wasn’t an asshole, or rude, or mean. I was calm, stoic, and respectful in my firm words to her. I was a man. Who stood his ground. Eventually, I got exactly what I wanted - by doing exactly what I wanted.
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A few days later she did the same thing. I quickly swatted her down respectfully and made her aware she was becoming hostile, and engaging in a silly argument. She fought back a little more this time. Clearly removing myself from the area wasn’t enough.
So I said “Since you haven’t changed your tone, I’m leaving”. I didn’t live with the chick, but I had some stuff I gathered up as if I was never coming back (like toothbrush).
She kept talking to me, insisting I was wrong as I packed to leave. I said nothing. She even encouraged me to leave, being indifferent. I opened the door and said bye, and that’s when she said “Stop! Don’t leave!” “Just please close the door!”.
She began to say how sorry she was and how wrong she was to speak to me this way. She knew she was wrong.
Always chose option #2. Not just for what you want, and standing up for yourself, but for your woman who needs a man and a leader, even when she herself doesn’t know what she’s doing. Be stoic, do not let her convince you that you’re wrong.
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TLDR LTR GF decided to be bitchy, cold, make stupid arguments, and disrespect me. When I gave her love/agreed/apologized, she stomped on me more. But when I stood my ground (by calmly telling/coaching what she did wrong in her communication skills, and that there was NO excuse for disrespecting me) even to the point where I told her I would leave if it continued. Only then did I get my respect, love, and affection back.
Women need leaders. She was so convinced she was right, and it took a calm strong leader who stood his ground to show her where she was wrong. Not in a belittling way, in a learning and developing way.
And when you talk this way, if she continues the barrage. Leave.
kanteroalberda 5y ago
Just be calm leader theory
jinglebells89 5y ago
Cluster b nut. Will get worse and worse.
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banthrow 5y ago
My experience:
My GF was a really tough/independent girl, those with short hair and short temper, we started dating and I was a total asshole, didn't care much about her antics, never answered her texts right away, didn't care if we fight or if we break up. I applied dread for the minimum offenses, etc. She fell completely in love with me, never saw a girl so infatuated. The problem were her feminist friends, telling her about my toxic masculinity, always speaking in her ear against me. She was so inlove she didn't care about that...until we had a small fight and she did care. Dumped me and we never talked again, one day she couldnt stop writing me love letters...next day I was a manipulative dangerous monster. So, beware, this is my cautionary tale, be always vigilant of their friends and don't display masculine traits in front of them. Yes, I was the chad she went crying to their friends after we fucked all night, thing is, their friends will take her away from you, and try to replace you with a beta-approved vegan boyfriend if possible.
Fyn689 5y ago
She.. Sounds a bit crazy tho
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redd_reality 5y ago
What I (try, ideally) do in an ltr when I get unwarranted shit thrown at me, is the same thing I do when anyone throws shit at me, I fling it back to defend my boundaries and then withdraw my attention.
What would the alpha do? The alpha is the prize. He is the top dog. He knows this and values himself first, always.
So, what would the alpha do if someone throws shit at him? He'd throw it back twice as hard to ensure it never happens again and then he would withdraw his attention and focus on greener pastures.
Keep in mind, if you aren't enjoying someone's company or if you're no longer benefitting from an arrangement, move on. Show the other person, in the moment of your disapproval, that you aren't willing to be around them if they aren't going to work with you for a mutually beneficial goal or aim.
This goes for friends, employers, ltrs etc.
Shark-fish 5y ago
Being reactive and butthurd might not be best solution
[deleted] 5y ago
What I thought red pill and mgtow was the same...
Fyn689 5y ago
Nope. You can be red pilled and MGTOW but it's not a synonym
redHussar 5y ago
If LTR gives you that amount of shit after THREE months then: 1) you are beta. You entered LTR with weak frame 2) she is shitty person 3) option 1 and 2
LTR should be EASY and dont bring misery into your life. At 3 months mark she should all over you and happy like never in her life
BewareTheOldMan 5y ago
I actually agree with your assessment - dude emanated beta personality/tendencies, weak frame, and/or his girlfriend is basically a crappy, disrespectful, entitlement princess and drama queen. However, I give him credit to seeing his behavioral errors and initiating more appropriate, corrective response of "not taking her shit and standing his ground" versus being "agreeable, telling her she’s right, apologizing," and being a supplicating punk.
OP is likely young and still learning his way around women. I correlate this to Blue Pill/Social Conditioning and society’s general lies about women. This is the good thing about TRP and similar forums as men who would otherwise revert to BP reactions/conditioning know better when faced with a woman’s disrespectful behavior.
Even if he terminates the current relationship, he will do better in future LTRs and should he eventually enter into marriage.
Either way - kudos on his improvement in dealing with women. He's a better man for the experience.
Also - you're absolutely correct..."LTR should be EASY." NO Disloyalty, NO Disrespect, and NO Disruption to your life. Among others things, a woman MUST be added-value to a man’s life. It’s that simple.
cpk8080 5y ago
This is exactly how I've responded to my gf's sh*t tests. Women do this, they disrespect you to see how much they can get away with. When you resist the urge to engage (its hard sometimes not to argue back) you take their power away.
hexlich 5y ago
if u argue with her, than u give her drama and emotion she craves, which encourage her to do more of that shit
get-tilted 5y ago
(You can say shit, we’re on the internet)
cpk8080 5y ago
It feels naughty....haha jk, I've only been browsing for a few months man, didn't know what rules this sub has. Thanks for letting me know the mods aren't a bunch of penis wrinkles...
[deleted] 5y ago
These other guys obviously never saw E.T.
1BetaOne 5y ago
Penis wrinkles.... Adding that one to the dictionary of insults lol
EnragedParrot 5y ago
"Penis wrinkles". Fuck thanks for that one, hahahaha
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Viramont 5y ago
Natural RP 17 year old me would laugh at my gf’s face when she’d nag to me lol
Sick fucken downvotes from angry ALPHA Cosplayers lol
xMellow 5y ago
LOL U Mad u got downvotes brah haha! lawl!!!!
CookieAdmiral 5y ago
This is so easy when you have plates spinning. Noone suffering from ONEitis would be able to do that, they would always choose option #1.
Foobyx 5y ago
Looks like a drama queen to me. If she repeats this behaviour constantly you might pin point her straight to this status and urge her to not doing it anymore.
zboo1h 5y ago
Excellent post, this definitely needs to be reiterated as much as possible. Women are abusive as the great Patrice O'Neal said, God rest his big fat soul. You do NOT negotiate with terrorists.
Fyn689 5y ago
Man, I miss Patrice so fucking much. Every time I'm getting comfortable with women I listen to some hours of Patrice and I'm back on track again.
[deleted] 5y ago
Nothing new here. Move along.
[deleted] 5y ago
Agreed, but repetition is always good. ;)
PerplexingPegasus_ 5y ago
Not new stuff in the RP, but new for OP.
TonytheNetworker 5y ago
Sounds about right. Giving in to their shit test and rude behavior indicates that you can't stand up for yourself and don't have a backbone. Keeping frame, stoic, and assertive communication = Leader that I want. The tough part is consistently doing so which is draining.
nutnics 5y ago
Amen brother. They are puppies that desire a master, but that master grows tired because the puppies never grow up.
Mr_Badass 5y ago
When they disrespect I stop giving them attention for a few days. That is how they learn. The person who cares the least about the relationship has the possible.
jinglebells89 5y ago
They learn huh? What do you think they’re doing those few days you aren’t talking?
Mr_Badass 5y ago
I don't care what they do. If they want to leave they can leave. She is just a plate.
civilizedfrog 5y ago
If you say that you we're gonna leave, then you better leave at least for a day. If you don't leave she will think that you don't have abundance mentality.
TheTrenTrannyTrain 5y ago
My thought exactly, if OP didn't follow through with his words and left her place, he's a pussy that's being manipulated by her. She will soon learn that manipulation will work on OP.
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MitchISU1 5y ago
Why are you in an LTR with someone who acts like a child?
AnyDoughnut 5y ago
The alternative is dating men.
Jesusonacake 5y ago
A different post I read the other day summed it up well. "Stick your dick in crazy but be careful. If your not fucking crazy, you're fucking dudes."
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nutnics 5y ago
Women are children minus the innocence.