Freud probably didn’t walk his patients through the streets of Vienna and tell them to cold approach women. If he did, he would have been beheaded (he lived in the Victorian era which was a little stuffy about dating and sex.) He did, however, have a lot of powerful insights about human sexuality, and some of his teachings can actually be helpful to today’s aspiring Casanova.

 

The Id and The Superego

 

According to Freud, humans have three different “sub-personalities” that are in tension with each other: The id, the ego, and the superego. Understanding these different parts of the psyche can actually explain why game is so difficult or most guys, and why we can be our own worst enemy when it comes to attracting women.

 

See, the Id is the part of our psyche that holds sexual, instinctual, and aggressive urges. When you see an attractive woman, and a mental image flashes in your mind of you throwing her against a wall and ravishing her- that’s your Id talking.

 

When it comes to sex, the Id is the driving force, and I would argue that if you were “in tune” with this part of your psyche, success with women would be very natural, even easy.

 

For better or worse, the id is at war with what Freud called the superego, which is what you might call your moral conscience (you could say the Id is the devil on one shoulder, and the superego is the angel on the other).

 

The superego houses your sense of right and wrong, good and evil, etc. The superego is largely developed through societal conditioning: it’s something you learn more than something you’re born with. The values that your parents, schoolteachers, friends, religion, and the media teach you coalesce into your superego.

 

When it comes to sex, the superego tends to have more conservative views than the id. Throughout our upbringing, are taught that we shouldn’t offend people, that we shouldn’t risk making people feel bad, and that sex is something that needs a deep emotional connection between people to happen.

 

So, when you see that hot girl, one part of your mind is thinking, “Time to fuck” while another part of your mind is thinking, “It would be nice to make friends with her, go on several dates, and then perhaps kiss her on the cheek afterwards.” (Obviously, your superego’s values depend on how you were raised, but it’s always more conservative than the Id.)

 

The Id and the Superego want very different- even contradictory- things. This creates an inner tension when it comes to the idea of learning success with women. Part of you (the id) wants to learn game for very instinctual reasons- sex for its own sake.

 

Another part of you (the superego) probably thinks the idea of learning game is stupid, even immoral. The superego thinks things like:

“Game is for losers with no self-respect.” “Game is creepy, it’s so weird to just approach strangers like that.” “Game only works on sluts; high-quality women need a different approach.” “I’m not going to spend so much time chasing tail, I have more important things to do.”

 

To be clear, I’m not saying the superego is wrong, and the id is right, they both serve important functions. But, in many cases, the superego is a voice in our head that has nothing to do with our own beliefs or values, it’s just a relic of how we were taught to think growing up, and when such is the case, it’s important to recognize the superego for what it is: an obstacle to getting what you want.

 

The Ego

So, that’s the id and superego, what role does the ego play in all this? The ego is the mediator between the id and the superego (i.e. it’s the person between the angel and the devil). The ego analyzes and hems-and-haws between the desires of the id and the superego. The ego looks to make sense of the desires of the id, “Well, I’m not going out just to fuck women, I want to better myself as a person.”

 

Sometimes your ego will side with the id, and others it will side with the superego. This is problematic because neither are ever going to poof out of existence. You’re always going to have an instinctual side that has deep-rooted sexual desires, and you’re always going to have a sense of morality and right-and-wrong, and they’re probably never going to be in complete agreement about what will bring you happiness.

 

Basically, your superego is going to try to convince you not to do the very kinds of things that turn women on. Your superego doesn’t want to sweep a woman off her feet with a spontaneous kiss, it wants to have socially acceptable (boring) relationships.

 

Your id, on the other hand, doesn’t want to have a long-term relationship, it wants to feel good right now, ideally with a new woman. Your id just wants to fuck.

 

A lot of the resistance guys have to the idea of doing game is due to the superego, it’s the part of our psyche that thinks a lot of what game entails is immoral. Additionally, the superego thinks game is “creepy” and will lead others to disapprove of us.

 

Is there an easy answer? No, you can’t get a vasectomy for your id (unless, perhaps you literally got your balls chopped off), and you probably don’t want to forsake your sense of right-and-wrong, either.

 

But, when you pursue this journey you might want to consider the fact that different parts of your psyche want different things, being aware of this can help you reconcile those contradictory desires and make a more logical decision about how to deal with them.

 

Ultimately, I believe the most important quality you need to develop to get the success with women you want is self-awareness. The better you understand the different parts of your mind and what they want (and whether or not you should listen to them), the more you can make conscious decisions about how to shape your life instead of living according to the whim of opposing psychological forces at different times.

 

Hopefully this was some interesting food for thought ????