So I arrived at work today and was greeted by my work colleague, who was eager to discuss the details of her weekend, more specifically the fact that she had got laid.
She explains the evening, from the one on one drinks and flowing conversation, escalation to a nearby bar for some dancing and further drinks, to the inevitable turn down back at her place where she proceeded to have the best sex she has ever had in her life.
She then proceeded to say that after ''the best sex she has ever had in her life'', the male in question requested that they stay in bed a while longer, and cuddle. At this point, my colleague confessed that after he said this, she kinda just wanted him to leave.
I contested her point, and said he seemed like a nice guy, has taken you on a lovely evening out on the town, no doubt spoiled you with drinks, and has also given you incredible sex. What's wrong with the man wanting to cuddle? He could have been a complete douchebag and left after he got what he wanted, text already written to another girl for him to repeat the process.
The response: ''Hell, if he did, I'd have just fucked him again, im the top woman here''
Conclusion - Never fall into Beta.
MisterRoid 6y ago
I think the mistake was to say that he wanted to cuddle, not the act itself. Women don't like it when men are too considerate or ask for permission. Personally I like to have sex in the spoon position, creampie the girl and cuddle while keeping my dick in her pussy. I have even fallen asleep like that a few times.
yfmod 6y ago
That sounds positively delightful my good friend!!
[deleted] 6y ago
Just like my style, my friend. Truth.
ashleyshafer27 6y ago
This is my go to for morning sex. Best way to wake up.
indecencies 6y ago
Laughably, that's how I lost my virginity the first time.
yfmod 6y ago
How did you lose it the second time?
Nomfwic 6y ago
I chuckled.
Have an up vote.
indecencies 6y ago
Lol'd. Well, there was this time in prison...
/s
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Jigsus 6y ago
That's how you end up a father
kenpachitz 6y ago
2 months later, on AskTRP
She says I'm the father. What do I do guys?
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[deleted] 6y ago
Fuck her once more then move to Mexico
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Drumcode-Equals-Life 6y ago
Watch out when you’re busting inside a woman, unless you’re certain she’s got an IUD then I’m not sure risk outweighs the reward man.
brucebannerstailor 6y ago
“Cream pie the girl and cuddle while keeping my dick in her pussy”
That has to be the gayest and straightest sounding phrase I have ever heard.
RAiderNat88 6y ago
I'm amazed at the amount of upvotes this received.
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CJ_900 6y ago
He should of just initiated the cuddle and judged her reaction, it's almost best to adapt to your situation instead of trying to pre-plan everything like he did by asking.
Just go for it, if it doesn't work then stay cool and move on like it never happened, asking and trying to make everything go a certain way just made him look needy.
Edgun 6y ago
Nothing wrong with cuddling if your chick wants to and you aren't a little bitch about it. This guy was most definitely a little bitch about it.
Whisper 6y ago
Played properly, this can be a good escape strategy.
Never underestimate the value of playing beta when you want to get rid of a tiresome girl with as little drama as possible.
Zech4riah 6y ago
Oh...this is golden. Gotta write this down. No more drama or crazy girls chasing, just go full beta for a week and the girl will be gone. Hopefully it doesn't backfire and the girl takes it well and wants to go for really deep relationship right away :D
Wish I had read this couple of weeks ago before that overly attached girl actually tattooed my birthday date into her neck after we had ONS. - Talking about red flags...
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antariusz 6y ago
Do not do this with any girl over the age of 26. Or fat girls with low self esteem. They’ll just see you as the best beta they’ll ever be able to land and you’ll get stuck with them a while.
Ghosting is far easier.
Ok I’ll text you... bye... yea we should totally meet up again, text me let me know when you’re free.... oh sorry, I had plans already, some other time. Oops I just got your message (12 hours later) I was sleeping. Maybe this weekend I’ll be free.
CoolyRanks 6y ago
Lying that much is too much effort. Just say you're not interested.
antariusz 6y ago
Good way to get a regret rape accusation.
PhaedrusHunt 6y ago
Yeah but alpha widowing a woman that has it coming is one of THE most satisfying feelings in life
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dongpal 6y ago
if i leave a girl i want her to feel bad about losing me. why would i try to act beta to strenght her decision that im a loser?
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Tesrali 6y ago
People with BPD need to stop reproducing though.
systemshock869 6y ago
You don't want to upset an insane person who might burn down your house the next day without a second thought. You also don't give a fuck what they think about you so you really just want them out of your life as fast as possible. This isn't every girl, obviously.
throwlaca 6y ago
Doesn't work for me. I currently want to escape from a overly attached girlfriend but shes a nice girl and I don't want to hurt her.
Playing beta doesn't work, she only gets more attached. I guess it's the same as playing alpha, some little detail always reveals you true self.
Steve_O-- 6y ago
THIS. I've actually went all Beta on purpose because I wanted to get rid of her.
I remember thinking at the moment "I'm going to test this out since AWALT"... If anything, I wanted to learn what NOT to do while I was in a lab environment.
My mindset was "fuck it, I don't like this chick, at least I'm going to experiment stuff and learn from it" and kept things interesting in my brain even though I didn't give a fuck about the situation.
Ananonguy88 6y ago
Did it once, when my wall-hitter plate requested relationship. I basically said "you need to know all about me then and accept me for who I am" and went on with emotional bitchy rant about my past, being as whiny and sissy as I can. She instantly changed her mind.
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Metalgear222 6y ago
Can confirm, "deploying beta smokescreen" is the most effective way to let a girl down easy. Use it bros.
CQC3 6y ago
Just ask yourself, what would Otacon do?
Moneyley 6y ago
genius post as always. laws of power says play a sucker to catch a sucker. Women work by way of impressions and what they will say to their friends vs a more non formal way of describing the events. EX1: Girl says "I fucked this cute guy this weekend.. he was such a hot fuck, wonder why he hasn't replied to my me?"... this same girl will likely show more neediness, more likely to have some psycho tendencies. EX2: Girl says " I fucked this cute guy this weekend, I wanted to date him but he seemed really needy and wanted to cuddle? Im like dude, im not in love with you, this was supposed to be fun"
Personally, after marathon sex I'd do pull them in to cuddle. They can think what they want but at that point they seem to just submit. When I think the girl has psycho tendencies, I do try to out-psycho her by initiating a cuddle sooner than her. Cuddle theory is REAL- if she initiates the cuddle and you leave... you're an ass but she'll likely hit you up again over and over. If you initiate the cuddle, you're a needy beta.
[deleted] 6y ago
Seriously? I’ve been beta with a girl or two, and all she did was get upset for an hour and fuck me when she calmed down.
Never had one leave without ghosting or forcing her hand.
Whisper 6y ago
If you're beta-ing to get her to leave, you need to beta hard and beta early.
It's useful for psycho chicks who might turn into bunny-boilers if you dump them.
Flying_Wingback 6y ago
I tried this in my last LTR before TRP. She ended up resenting me but was never able to leave (i'm sure was fucking on the side tho)
Extremely_Photogenic 6y ago
If trying to keep the girl as a plate is the best thing to do just, leave ASAP? Act completely disinterested and as if she didn't mean anything. Or was his fuck up just asking instead of grabbing her and doing what he wanted without permission
epicfadeout 6y ago
you don't necessarily have to treat em like dirt, but to ask for permission to cuddle...oof.
May as well have said to her, "Mommy will you hold me?"
Extremely_Photogenic 6y ago
Yea I agree with the second part. Although I think there is definitely validity to the idea that walking out seemingly without caring would make them more into you. Which is easy since usually after sex I don't give a fuck at all
DatingCoach111 6y ago
Nice. Never thought of this exit strategy.
CQC3 6y ago
Letting yourself play beta might be one of the most impressive displays of being secure with yourself that you can do. If you can't do it, then it means you're too obsessed with your own persona and not at all focused on the outcome.
In short, being the alpha is a validation fantasy for you and that is more important than getting laid and getting out.
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AnjaJutta 6y ago
To my understanding, the above FR demonstrates that the act of cuddling is at some level on our brain seperated from the act of sex and serves a different purpose.
omega_fat 6y ago
Conclusion - she's soooo alpha, any more alpha her clit grows into a dick
thewrecker8 6y ago
So by her saying "I'm the top woman here" she's trying to say she's alpha af?
htbf 6y ago
No, she's trying to hide how insecure she is about her position.
TheReformist94 6y ago
Is this sub still convinced women want committment? 5sec of emotional investment,and they're out! Cmon TRP. stop deluding yourself
RedPilledGodEmperor 6y ago
Yeah, nothing wrong with cuddling because I do love cuddling naked with a woman after sex (even if there is no emotional connection).
But who the fuck asks to cuddle? Even when I was more of a nice guy, I never asked. It just naturally happened.
kidwithambition 6y ago
Congratulations on your beautiful friendship with this girl as her emotional tampon.
Please, this shit doesn't belong on TRP.
Fun2badult 6y ago
Yea but he’s not pursuing her and being her beta tampon. He’s just a co worker. Now if he likes the coworker but puts up with this, then yea emotional tampon. But if he’s just a co worker and he’s reporting girl’s perspective to give us more insight on how not to be a beta?
yfmod 6y ago
I actually dislike this co-worker with a flaming passion.
BurnDownTheMission68 6y ago
Listening to a chick at work talk about fucking dudes is not being an emotional tampon
Good way to learn about the real truths chicks usually don’t share
This chick is stupid to share this stuff with a male co-worker and dude could prob bang her if he wanted
throwawaydefriended 6y ago
I think he's trying to say that the fact that she's actively talking to him about this means that she perceives him as a non-sexual emotional tampon, regardless of how interested he is, which means he probably couldn't bang her.
Fun2badult 6y ago
Bitches say they want to cuddle. Then when you do, they think you’re a bitch. Wtf world
Rtat 6y ago
girls do want to cuddle you just shouldnt ask. just do it lol
QPRCHOC 6y ago
Yeah I don't think the act of cuddling is wrong per se. If you're into the girl it helps build a good connection and I would think after giving her "the best sex of her life" putting one arm around her and spooning her from behind gives them the tingles they're looking for. However the act of asking her to cuddle is kind of beta.
If I've fucked a girl hard and well I take the opportunity to give her a few light kisses while running my hand up and down her waist. I think there's a case to be made for striking a balance between rough sex followed by a bit more tenderness and intimacy after you've finished.
That being said this girl sounds like a whore so it's not really the best example.
TunedtoPerfection 6y ago
title is a lie, should be renamed:
"The asking for permission like a little bitch effect"
Honestly sounds like this girl pegged said dude as a alpha, and in typical blue pill fashion all the guy had to do was just act and he fucked it up with blue pill words.
sadomasochrist 6y ago
Yeah, threads like this are perpetuating the autistic mindset a lot of guys are getting sucked into that bring them here. The same thing that causes this "is it alpha to cook" mindlessness. The idea that you can't hold a woman because "you're beta" is absurd. You do what you want, with no expectation in return.
What happened here is a classic showcasing of Mark Manson's observation. He displayed neediness and on top of that deferred to her. Frankly I'm surprised he didn't show it earlier asking to change positions, but the guy was probably drinking from the ocean and operating entirely on instinct. If I had to wager a guess, this guy is well read but inexperienced and this woman pulled him out of a draught. This is faking it to make it, but then showing who he was in a moment of weakness.
You hold a woman because it feels good and you both just got your rocks off and you use those chemicals to pair bond. If he just went for it, he'd have been fine.
We can debate the merits on whether or not he should have played elusive game vs this, but the point stands. It's unlikely he'd have shocked the monkey if he hadn't showed his incongruence.
That's why I like Mark's heuristic so much, despite him being blue pill in mindset. You do you, just don't expect a woman to fill the void of neediness in your soul, which is exactly what this guy did.
He's just lucky she didn't decide retroactively that she'd been sexually assaulted.
TRPalexmehr 6y ago
If you ever want to cuddle just fall back in bed and relax. The girl will slowly lay down next to you, then you pull her in close to you.
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clammastak 6y ago
agree, i think there was some sort of loss of frame and perhaps how he worded it. his tone, attitude, and frame at the time he said it would've been a good indicator...or she was a super hoe, in which case there was no hope to begin with...and he would've pumped n dumped her anyway.
Ananonguy88 6y ago
What's wrong with cuddling? Damn, man needs some cuddling too at times. Even the worst douches and chaddest of Chads do, I bet. What's wrong with these bitches?
CrimsonGoggles 6y ago
High pair count reduces bonding ability. Simple pleasures are more enjoyable with a lower pair count girl, and she tends to be easier to manipulate and not as ruthless toward mistakes in frame/attitude, which are inevitable. It can also be much trickier as some red pill strats work really well and others not as much. Redpill is still very necessary, if they're "hot", you're still in constant competition with other guys due to female hypergamy. Having sex with a low count girl releases the hormones necessary for her to pair bond, which makes her less emotionally manipulative. The difference in their mood/behavior is obvious. Mostly wrote this for myself.
PM_ME_NUDES_PLEEZ 6y ago
If its the first time they fucked, blue pill or red pill aside, that is kind of weird. Who asks a girl they just fucked to cuddle?
sanholo3211 6y ago
How would this translate into a situation with an LTR?
CrimsonGoggles 6y ago
Show affection equal or less than what she does, and keep dread going in some form. It depends on how much other male attention she is getting. More external male attention means more redpill strats are necessary to keep her / prevent her from using you. You also have to make her crave your touch, so it doesn't become a deadbedroom. Not as much male attention and you can get away with more, but she'll withdraw once a more RP guy starts talking to her. LTRs are the dream for many guys, but they are also damn pain if you're not clearly above her in SMV.
Lateralanouncer 6y ago
He may have thought he found a keeper. But instead he fucked a high number count woman that had already lost her ability to pair bond.
IndianChad 6y ago
What kind of retard doesn't like cuddling? You have to be borderline socio. Cuddling and being cuddled is super relaxing after sex. I get it tho, cuddling/sleeping with her after sex is like the gate way to getting feelings. I think these "independent" girls don't want to cuddle, because they don't want there feelings fucked up and destroyed.
Sumo94 6y ago
Wtf I love cuddling. So I shouldn’t initiate or are some bitches hoes
DrankOfSmell 6y ago
"I'm the top woman here."
Can anyone explain the logic here for me?
empatheticapathetic 6y ago
She's showing off how much of a man she is. Doesn't pair bond, fucks for sport, finds beta gestures disgusting.
[deleted] 6y ago
Let the girl ask to cuddle with you. Not the other way around.
Friendly_Friends 6y ago
This chick sounds trashy as it is. No surprise she doesn’t like to cuddle. I’d have her fired for talking about her sex life at work. I’ve turned down potential plates for being so candid. Don’t have a thing for crazy
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[deleted] 6y ago
Sorta on topic with this post, I find it funny how women can talk about their sex lives at work and nothing happens. I got in trouble multiple times for even a slightly sexual joke and had to have a "talk" with the store manager or department manager. But women can straight up talk about getting dicked hard the past weekend with a greasy random hookup they never met before and management won't bat an eye. I called that shit out but of course it never works.
bobfrompinecreek 6y ago
him leaving simply would've just been the cherry on top - im sure he could EASILY fuck her again after cuddles if she was raving about the sex.
basically what she was getting at was a super honest insider female psychology (what this sub is all about) that it was a 9.5 because he didnt abruptly leave her wanting more.
Entropy-7 6y ago
There was a question on AskTRP a while back from a guy whose girl just wanted to cuddle. He tried to escalate and she said "But what's better than cuddling?" He was looking for responses.
My comeback was "Post-coital cuddling."
IMHO, post-coital cuddling combined with follow-up texts about what a great time it was are your best defences to any lingering chance of a sexual assault claim, especially if you were silly enough to include alcohol in your evening.
tolerantman 6y ago
So I read somewhere, I can't remember now, about a dude who called a woman he was dating and asked for 'cuddling', she thought he was just joking around and wanted to bang her, she arrived there and they actually cuddled, she left and never answered his messages ever again.
throwlaca 6y ago
Maybe that's what he wanted. To escape, he already fucked her after all.
throwawaydefriended 6y ago
Eh, this thread, mainly the title, screamed at me a bit at first, because I have a thing I do from time to time (which is actually efficient and involves actually applying some things I learned from lurking here) - when I meet a girl I'm interested in or connect on Tinder or some other app, often in the pre-meeting conversations, I ask if she likes to cuddle.
I know the consensus is to never text for anything other than logistics, which I do aside from that. But if I'm gonna make an impression via text, might as well plant some potential escalation seeds. How they respond to that question (usually positively) speaks volumes. They probably are used to guys pussying out of asking anything like that and trying hard to make a "respectful" impression, like the club guy in the other thread.
Never mind the fact that it often has the conversation take a sexual turn which she's into, something which wouldn't be on most beta's lexicon. And that's doable without getting to attached or having the bar set high, as long as it's made clear that we might not be feeling it in person (usually we are though anyway) then there's not really much to lose. Cuddling is like a gateway drug for getting laid.
Of course OP's story probably has nothing to do with it and the woman was probably more put off by the idea of asking to cuddle once you are already in bed which is silly and redundant.
To be fair though she sounds like a borderline psycho.
truedemocracy3 6y ago
Eh most women like to cuddle after sex. Certainly not something they look down on.
berlengas 6y ago
Quite honestly i think the definition of love is not when she is atracted to the alpha but persists on the beta. This is a good shit test to see if she really likes you, or only likes the appearance that you are dominant
big_goat 6y ago
Never had a female co-worker who divulged every bit of her sex life to me. How are we supposed to take these posts for fact?
yfmod 6y ago
You’re right, just because you’ve never experienced this, it means other peoples experiences cannot be deemed truthful.
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