If the guy is beta, he'll likely stay that way.

As a man, my advice is cut the relationship now, before kids. I know, cold. But if he's beta, and you self-consciously want an alpha, you will wind up hating him and eventually cheating on him. When/If you have a child with him, you'll be stuck.

Better cut him now, then find yourself someone whom you respect. Because this isn't anything other than a respect issue. You do not respect him. You want him to change so that you WILL respect him. But people don't change, especially if they have no incentive.

Just my 2¢.

expat229

My husband was beta when we got together, but has become far more alpha and now I feel has a perfect mix. My attraction for him SKYROCKETED when he started exhibiting more consistently alpha behavior. I found that for me personally, all it took was me opening up and giving myself over to his influence. I was fighting his control and since he is naturally more of a beta he didn't have enough control in the first place to take it back. Once I realized I was doing this and standing in my own way of the relationship I wanted I worked on myself and he filled in the rest. I don't know how you are in your relationship, but I put way too much of the expectations on him to be dominant and didn't consider that I needed to move over and be more submissive rather than expecting him to beat me over the head with it until I gave in. I think that most beta men of quality and character only need a little push and the vote of confidence from their partner to move into a more dominant role. Good luck, and I believe you will see a huge rise in marital happiness as you begin to work on this together.

coming from a man... make him study martial arts to give him sense of purpose

First of all: it's okay if your husband is Beta. The Beta/Alpha stuff is really confusing as it gets thrown around for so much and has so many definitions.

Here's the thing: very very few men are bona fide Alphas. Most men are Beta males. The point isn't to make every man an Alpha (that's impossible) but to bring up Alpha traits in men.

I do understand your meaning here and hope is not lost! Men are emasculated by our culture so it often times takes some doing to repair that. What it comes down to is 1) being more feminine yourself (which attracts and brings out masculinity) and 2) getting out of the way so he can take over 3) valuing him and building him up from there (ie: actually value and take to heart what he says and praise him for what he does. All too often we get caught in nagging and only pointing out the negative and we also tend to not value his opinion or contributions)

Here are some hopefully helpful links:

The Surrendered Wife by Laura Doyle

5 Baby Steps to DeShrewing

Stop Doing it For Him

Create a Vacuum and He Will Fill It

You could use the same kind of conditioning that TRP uses to train their females. Encourage dominant behaviour by responding positively 'it turns me on when you take charge/do something else manly' followed by a touchy flirt, and ignore the beta by not responding with words or body language- not be bitchy, just be blank.

Why are you the sole provider?

[deleted]

Its a bad situation. I know from first hand experience that being the economic albatross is the relationship is not a position from which dominant masculine endeavors can be launched. You need to find a way to motivate him to get financially empowered before the rest can fall into place.

You just can't feel like a man when your wife is filling the mans role, ie. bringing the bulk of the resources from the outside into your home.

people can talk all the bullshit they want about this and that, but our self worth as humans is still very much tied to paleolithic gender roles.

I hope the guys at /r/theredpill see this, so they can see why I'm always telling them to date girls that are economic lessers.

http://marriedmansexlife.vanillaforums.com/

Get to the Married Mans Sex Life forum...stat.

How does he respond when you take the submissive role? If this is a 100% change for him, have you tried something small like leaving the dinner or date plans up to him?

[deleted]

If you love your husband, you could always talk to him openly about your concerns instead of coming to a forum, calling the person you married a beta and getting advice like "condition him like TRP trains their females".

TRAIN.

These are people we are talking about. In this case a person you LOVE right? Doesn't it seem weird to adress your situation in this terms?