We are going to see deadpool! We aren't so much celebrating valentines day, but celebrating the end of my SO's first week at his new job, and (hopefully) successful full scale rocket launch for me.

I think it's very masculine to do something your SO wants, just because it would make them happy, assuming it's within reason. So if I want a candlelit dinner and he obliges without complaint, that's hella masculine. (Or alpha might be the right word. I'm a lady but I love feeling alpha and do it all the time; show up with whiskey just to see the smile on his face.)

If he stubbornly refuses to celebrate Valentine's day on some principle, that's very RP but not exactly masculine.

I try to make valentine's Day as much about him as I can. Make yummy food, wear his favorite outfit as a fancy new pair of underthings. Any reason I get to shower him in presents and spend time with him I love. He's very busy during the week, so I love when he take time out of his free time to spend time with me. It's the best present I get! ^.^ I don't usually get presents and that's because he usually buys me things if I ask for them, if i spend my allowance or if he wants to suprise me. We don't like to limit affection to just certain special days.

I summed up my opinions about this holiday here.

I don't encourage my man to do valentine's day - I dont think it means anything. He's very masculine and feels very happy to be relieved of this conformist sort of behaviour, as he calls it. We happen to be going on a date to a show but that is not v-day related! x

I don't think I could ascribe v-day efforts in general to a particular pill. It would depend on the motivations/desires of the man. If he's doing it because he feels bullied into it (like he'll catch hell if he doesn't do something) then that's one thing. If he has genuine desire to plan/buy something and play it up a bit, regardless of outside influences, that's another.

I don't think it's wrong to have a dedicated day to celebrate things that you already appreciate. Doing one doesn't negate the other. Otherwise why celebrate birthdays - shouldn't people appreciate I'm alive every day? Maybe I should just get presents all the time at random? Why have thanksgiving when I am thankful every day? Having special days is just a nice bonus and forces you to snap out of everyday routine.

That said, my personal reaction to v-day has always adapted to the situation I'm in. I've also never demanded/asked for anything. When I was single, it was just another day to me. When I was with my ex, we'd just go out to dinner somewhere and I was fine with that. With my current bf, he is really excited about it and has been teasing me for the past week about presents he's bought for me. His excitement is contagious so now I'm pretty stoked too, though mostly because I can't wait to give him what I've got planned for him :)

Apparently this is D's opinion on Valentine's Day

Me: Haha I saw this funny meme today of this skeptical looking dog that said 'when you know your girl being hella nice and you know it's cuz Valentine's Day is coming up'.

D: I don't get it

Me: Well because their girlfriends are usually bitches, but they're being nice just before to get better presents.

now I am feeling flattered about myself that he doesn't get it because I'm so far from being like that

D:....YOURE SUPPOSED TO GIVE GIFTS ON VALENTINES DAY??

.........

Me: ...Yes, honey, that's why all the annoying large stuffed animals are in every grocery store?

D: Do we have to do that??

Me: Absolutely not, honey

D: Thank you

My partner generally spends valentines day helping out lonely kids online that have no one so they have someone to talk to. We pick a different day to do our stuff, then again, We try and treat every day like it's valentines :)

We don't really care about it, but to answer your question

what is your perception of a man's effort to celebrate Valentine's Day- or not?

I would hate it if he felt forced to get me something or act a certain way just because there's this pressure to do so. I personally find the most romance in the most quotidian acts of caring, I would feel uncomfortable to be romanced extensively because I find the most joy in doing things for my man and giving gifts, not so much receiving gifts. I might be an outlier though, because I feel the same way about my birthday, I don't give it any publicity and will always prefer for it to be just the two of us on that day with a meal we like.

We usually go out for v-day, or the day before/after. We are both foodies just looking for an excuse to try a new restaurant or visit an old favorite. As for gifts, we usually just exchange a token gift, something tiny but meaningful to recognize a special day for lovers that isn't too nerve wracking. He's never indicated that this isn't how he wants to spend the day and I'm more than content with it.

If a guy didn't want to do anything special for v-day at all I'd probably look at it negatively, depending on the specifics of course. But the people usually against it are the sour-grape cynical types that I don't particularly care for.

Masculine is as masculine does. If you're a masculine man who celebrates Valentine's Day, great. If your a masculine man who doesn't, great.

We love celebrating Valentine's Day! We get each other gifts, go out to a nice dinner and generally just try and have a great day. No chocolates or flowers, and I make sure he's just as spoiled and happy as me!

This year I got him a nice flannel, a new book he mentioned wanting to read (The Gunslinger) and a pack of assorted exotic meat jerkies. And we're going out on the canoe for breakfast (I hate the canoe!).

I asked my bf what he wants to do for Vday. He said "hm, idk. i didn't really think about it." I think most men think this way. It's a day not really for GUYS but for GIRLS. How much do you love ME? How many hearts and things can you give ME?

Not a bad thing, it's just not something for them.

Anyway, to my bf's question, I offered to make him dinner and wear pretty things for his benefit :D He's fine with that. I may get him a card, idk. Frankly, with all the "romance" in the air the only thing I'm gonna try to maintain is serious STFU so I don't say something stupid.

Firstly, I myself really couldn't care less about valentine's day, and wouldn't even remember it if it wasn't for grocery store displays, radio ads, etc. The kind of guy that I like is not so much specifically very masculine as very rational/logic driven and more than happy to just not do anything. It's not about some anti-blue pill defiance sentiment, we just don't care. I'm single so likely I'll sleep in, go for a run, finish my homework, play some zombies. Typical Sunday, except that my housemates will probably be out doing something for it.

If it's important to you then I think the best thing is to make it more about celebrating your relationship and your care for your man, and remove expectations for gifts or romantic overtures. I would say yes, letting him set the pace would be the right idea.

I do like to acknowledge the day in some way. I prefer to stay in rather than go out though- no way I'm paying 3x normal price for a set menu where I don't even get to pick anything!

The first year we were together my husband brought home take out and a bottle of wine for Valentine's Day, and that's pretty much set the tone for us ever since. It's relaxed but still a little special and different from a normal day. Some years we have gotten gifts too but usually not.

We don't really do the traditional Valentine's Day thing. We typically get each other a very small gift (which we do for each other randomly all the time anyway), but we do have a tradition of going to see a local hockey game as our "going out" event. This year he decided to spring for a really nice hotel room afterward, so I'm looking forward to it even more than I normally do!

My perception of his effort? I leave it entirely in his hands to decide what we'll do because he doesn't like traditional date-type things, and he's great at coming up with fun things for us to do. I love the fact that we have a tradition for it, and that it's something we both really love to do. He doesn't have to put in any effort other than making sure the game isn't sold out and getting us to and from the game. I like that, because that keeps stress off of him. If he decided to switch it up and do something else, I would be surprised because it's different but happy just the same because he put in some effort and I trust that whatever it is, we'll have fun.

We go on a fancy date to a restaurant, and then just take a walk around the park.

I agree with scallopkid, Valentines Day has always been associated with shitty chocolates and fancified male obligations IMO. A isn't a big celebrater of many things so we more or less skip it. I'm not going to do anything 'special' like make him dinner or have great sex with him because I don't wait for a holiday to do those things. If a man only expected this type of 'treat' once a year I would say I respect him less because I don't think he could respect himself. We're going to see Deadpool on Valentines Day this year.

My perception of a man based on his effort is whether or not he's doing it because he feels obligated. I know whenever A does/says something endearing it's genuine and not because he feels its the appropriate thing to do/he owns a calendar.