How old are you and how familiar are you with RPW?

22 female, been lurking for a little while

What is your relationship status? single What is the problem? (Don’t badmouth your SO!)

While I have most of the aesthetic aspects of being a feminine woman down (I'm 22, college educated, self supporting, virgin, cook/clean, dress well, present myself well, don't party/drink/take drugs, good body shape), I have a really pushy and kind of bitchy personality.

This really rings true when I encounter "geeky" men that don't live up to my standards of how men should be especially if I become attracted to one. I say disparaging things "in jest" if they like something that is traditionally "not cool" like anime. I've come to realize this is incredibly bitchy and shallow of me.

I wasn't always this way, but in college it really got aggravated probably because I majored in comp sci and was surrounded by men like this. There's kind of a stigma attached to the major, and I really wanted to differentiate myself. If I looked down on those things, I'm cool. I'm not like them.

I've been watching what I say lately, and taking a deep breathe if I encounter something I would consider "weird" for a grown man to have or like.

I also noticed that I am a pushy person. I want things to be my way. I'm trying to control the situation I am in rather than let someone else guide me. I've ruined a lot of almost relationships because of this. I also get a lot of this from my mother. She "ruled" her marriage with my dad (and ran it to the ground), but I seemed to have picked up on that trait of hers. She was also overly controlling of my life growing up.

How have you contributed to the problem?

not letting go and being a shallow bitch.

How long has this been an issue?

hmm. well i kind of just realized and accepted this a week or so ago. To be honest, I never really thought excessively about dating until recently. Another flaw because I'm kind of old, but it's too late.

What have you done to resolve this problem?

I'm trying to watch what I say and let life happen to me.