Hi ladies, I come asking for a bit of advice after an incident last night. A bit of information first to get you up to speed: my boyfriend and I have been going out for 7 months now and I've found myself falling head over heels for him as though he was my first love. Sadly though, he is not my first relationship as I've had 3 LTRs, 1 FWB, & 1 ONS, while he has had only one non-intimate LTR. When we discussed our pasts (a big thank you to RPW here, because if I hadn't found you I wouldn't not have been able to have that discussion without becoming defensive and using the dreaded "insecure"/"it doesn't matter" lines), he simply asked how many people I've been intimate with, but not of the circumstances, so I decided to be fully open with him and tell him about how one of the LTRs ended (me cheating on the ex), as well as the time I spent stripping (to pay off debts, not because I wanted to/enjoyed it, I absolutely hated it). Needless to say he was not happy, but he did actually thank me for telling him; he had to leave on a business trip the following day and said he would take that week to think it over and decide. After probably the most stressful week I've ever had in my life he came back and said he wanted to give this a shot. I was elated and have now put RPW into overdrive whenever I can (it's a bit difficult to apply it fully as he lives in the US and I'm from the UK) and slowly we've been getting back to where we were prior to having that talk. I realize it will take time get there, but I'm willing to make the trek with him. :) (it's not just him dealing with a cocktail of thoughts & feelings, I'm having trouble shaking the feeling that I've failed him, but this isn't a therapist's couch so I won't bother you all with that)

How comes the incident from last night, we had decided to go out to eat and as we were heading back to my car to go home, a man shouts out from behind us "Hey <my old stripping name>, can I get a turn when you're done with him?". My boyfriend handle the situation well and seemed ok about it on the drive back, but when we got home he didn't want to have sex, so he wasn't completely invulnerable to it. I also felt disgusted with myself and honestly wish he didn't have to deal with this crap in the first place since he's already trying to sort through my past as it is. The problem though, is this is not the first time he has to deal with my past; about two months into our relationship, my last ex saw us together while out at a museum and tried to attack my SO (he's perfectly fine, he subdued the idiot until the police came). In his words, "You're just full of surprises, aren't ya?", and I'd rather not be, so do any of you have tips on keeping your past in the past and/or helping your partner deal with your past? I already know and am applying RPW, but I'm wondering if anyone knows anything extra I can do as I feel my baggage may overcome the RPW skills if another incident like this happens.

Some of the things I'm already/going to incorporate: -Avoid the town where I stripped. In hindsight, this is obvious, but I didn't think of it before it was to late. -If something does happen, try and make up for it with something really special, like a handwritten note. -Getting rid of all my male friends/acquaintances. I realized this one awhile ago, but I think it's worth noting; they are only likely to cause trouble as they are very likely to be orbiters. Something else I thought about is that in a way, you having male friendships seems to cheapen the relationships you have with your SO; the only thing that separates him from those friends would he is having sex with you and they are not. That line is uncomfortably thin to me and I'd rather have a really strong and unique connection with my man. -Avoid him talking to certain (female) friends. I think the next phase of RPW self-improvement for me is improving the quality of my social circle, which means trying to weed out the bad apples that have stayed on since my school life. While I love my best friends, I still need to be careful around them when they drink, as they know about my past and get pretty loose-lipped.

P.S. I'm heading to the U.S. soon to stay with him at his place for a few weeks, so I should be able to both improve my RPW game and give him more attention/spend more alone time together (when's he's here, we spend a lot of time at my place, but I live at my mother's house to help her through her illness and, while I love her and she is my mother, she is a child when it comes to getting all the attention).