Hi ladies, I come asking for a bit of advice after an incident last night. A bit of information first to get you up to speed: my boyfriend and I have been going out for 7 months now and I've found myself falling head over heels for him as though he was my first love. Sadly though, he is not my first relationship as I've had 3 LTRs, 1 FWB, & 1 ONS, while he has had only one non-intimate LTR. When we discussed our pasts (a big thank you to RPW here, because if I hadn't found you I wouldn't not have been able to have that discussion without becoming defensive and using the dreaded "insecure"/"it doesn't matter" lines), he simply asked how many people I've been intimate with, but not of the circumstances, so I decided to be fully open with him and tell him about how one of the LTRs ended (me cheating on the ex), as well as the time I spent stripping (to pay off debts, not because I wanted to/enjoyed it, I absolutely hated it). Needless to say he was not happy, but he did actually thank me for telling him; he had to leave on a business trip the following day and said he would take that week to think it over and decide. After probably the most stressful week I've ever had in my life he came back and said he wanted to give this a shot. I was elated and have now put RPW into overdrive whenever I can (it's a bit difficult to apply it fully as he lives in the US and I'm from the UK) and slowly we've been getting back to where we were prior to having that talk. I realize it will take time get there, but I'm willing to make the trek with him. :) (it's not just him dealing with a cocktail of thoughts & feelings, I'm having trouble shaking the feeling that I've failed him, but this isn't a therapist's couch so I won't bother you all with that)
How comes the incident from last night, we had decided to go out to eat and as we were heading back to my car to go home, a man shouts out from behind us "Hey <my old stripping name>, can I get a turn when you're done with him?". My boyfriend handle the situation well and seemed ok about it on the drive back, but when we got home he didn't want to have sex, so he wasn't completely invulnerable to it. I also felt disgusted with myself and honestly wish he didn't have to deal with this crap in the first place since he's already trying to sort through my past as it is. The problem though, is this is not the first time he has to deal with my past; about two months into our relationship, my last ex saw us together while out at a museum and tried to attack my SO (he's perfectly fine, he subdued the idiot until the police came). In his words, "You're just full of surprises, aren't ya?", and I'd rather not be, so do any of you have tips on keeping your past in the past and/or helping your partner deal with your past? I already know and am applying RPW, but I'm wondering if anyone knows anything extra I can do as I feel my baggage may overcome the RPW skills if another incident like this happens.
Some of the things I'm already/going to incorporate: -Avoid the town where I stripped. In hindsight, this is obvious, but I didn't think of it before it was to late. -If something does happen, try and make up for it with something really special, like a handwritten note. -Getting rid of all my male friends/acquaintances. I realized this one awhile ago, but I think it's worth noting; they are only likely to cause trouble as they are very likely to be orbiters. Something else I thought about is that in a way, you having male friendships seems to cheapen the relationships you have with your SO; the only thing that separates him from those friends would he is having sex with you and they are not. That line is uncomfortably thin to me and I'd rather have a really strong and unique connection with my man. -Avoid him talking to certain (female) friends. I think the next phase of RPW self-improvement for me is improving the quality of my social circle, which means trying to weed out the bad apples that have stayed on since my school life. While I love my best friends, I still need to be careful around them when they drink, as they know about my past and get pretty loose-lipped.
P.S. I'm heading to the U.S. soon to stay with him at his place for a few weeks, so I should be able to both improve my RPW game and give him more attention/spend more alone time together (when's he's here, we spend a lot of time at my place, but I live at my mother's house to help her through her illness and, while I love her and she is my mother, she is a child when it comes to getting all the attention).
SpeakNoTruths 10y ago
You've got a very low partner count for an (assumed) attractive woman.
[deleted] 10y ago
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[deleted] 10y ago
That's the idea that I had and what I'm striving for with the help of RPW. I realize our relationship has started off on less than ideal footing because of my past and I'm determined to do everything I can to make up for it.
May I ask about your struggle?
[deleted] 10y ago
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vintagegirlgame 10y ago
I love the rational male!
[deleted] 10y ago
That was a really interesting and helpful read, thanks. :)
This once the missing piece of the puzzle I needed. I think I'm going talk to him again and try to delve a bit more deeper into the details on my past to help make sense of it, so he's not following ghosts. Since I'm bisexual and my past includes women, do you have any idea how that might factor into the above quote?
[deleted] 10y ago
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[deleted] 10y ago
I think you're right and I'll save the conversation till my trip over there when we're both in a good mood and away from everyone else.
Thank you for all the helpful insight! :)
[deleted] 10y ago
Expect to provide threesome for him, because he will demand them
[deleted] 10y ago
I've only had one threesome (FFF) and it wasn't that great. I wouldn't be opposed to having one with him at all (I kinda like the idea), but I'd rather wait till the relationship is more solid and I'd rather save it as a gift for sometime special.
[deleted] 10y ago
this is EXACTLY what men object to, making the man you allegedly "love" jump through hoops for what you gave others for free. Why do women persist in this mentality
[deleted] 10y ago
I'm not trying to make him jump through hoops, I just don't want to pile every experience into the beginning of the relationship and not have anything left for the future. We only just started being intimate 2 weeks ago anyway, so it'd be a bit weird to bring in another person into the bed so soon; and that's still assuming he will want that too, we've haven't really discussed our desires yet.
Well...we are crazy...so... ;D
[deleted] 10y ago
youve got a good attitude, you'll be ok :) really, you can combat your past a bit by letting him "own" you any way he needs to have that demonstrated. This means allowing him to control how you dress, who you see and where you go if need be and total transparency with your email/social media/phone etc. His need to do this might be stronger or weaker depending on his character and it may wear off over time, but dont buck it as it comes up
[deleted] 10y ago
That's the goal I have mind. The Rationale Male link really gave me the answer I needed as it was the last piece to the puzzle. I can't really surrender to my boyfriend if he doesn't already feel like I'm his, if that makes sense. I knew my past with cheating was the biggest hurdle to overcome, so I tried the phone thing already (it was mentioned in a few other threads on here iirc) by giving it to him to look through while making dinner, and bless his heart, he didn't look through it because he didn't think it would be fair since I can't look through his (because of his job). I'll definitely try the other two things though when we see each other next.
I don't mean to make it sound like my boyfriend is an insecure wreck, he's not (I've never seen him show any negative emotion), I'm just trying to avoid future pitfalls because I feel like I'm already walking a fine line in a relationship that I desperately want to work out.
freebumblebee 10y ago
Make sure he knows you're satisfied and that you desire him. He is probably comparing himself to your exes but doesn't want you to know he's insecure about it, so he doesn't ask. You don't need to address it in a specific way (e.g. "You are better in bed than X."), but make sure he knows how much you love him, his cock, and fucking him.
Also, try not to beat yourself up too badly. The more you rag on yourself for something you can't change (that you were honest about!), the needier and more insecure you'll be around him, and the more you'll bring this up. Excessive neediness is not a good look.
DevilishRogue 10y ago
Demonstrate how much you appreciate how well he has handled these situations. Say it, act upon it, mean it. That's all you need to do.
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[deleted] 10y ago
I didn't think of that, so thank you for telling me. He doesn't even know the names of my past exes (well, except the one), let alone how big they were, nor does he seem to show any care for it. So I wonder if I'm the first to bring it up, does that throw up a red flag to him? And I'd be lying, so if he does find out somehow, I'd just have created another problem for him to deal with. I'd rather just not mention it and keep Pandora's box sealed.
scallopkid 10y ago
Yeah I think you're right here, if you bring it up, even in this positive way, he's gonna think that you were thinking about your ex's.
TempestTcup 10y ago
No, no, no, do NOT compare his penis to any other in any way. Do not mention other penises; don't go there at all, LOL.
[deleted] 10y ago
I know a lot guys are really sensitive about it, I don't understand why though. I've read enough of Reddit to know not to go anyway near the subject.
[deleted] 10y ago
Imagine that about 50% of your femininity was determined by the size of one body part. That's how the mainstream media depicts the importance of having a big dick.
vintagegirlgame 10y ago
Men just don't want any reminders that you've been anywhere near other peniss (what is the plural of penis?). They want to maintain the illusion of the Madonna/Whore, an innocent virginal maiden who turns into a whore for only him. Their woman talking about other peniss is simply a turn off.
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toalysium 10y ago
If you really want to know I can share my thoughts on that. I don't know how many guys feel the same, or feel this way and just haven't articulated it.
[deleted] 10y ago
Sure, go ahead. You can send me a message too if that's a better option for you.
DreamBoatGuy25 10y ago
I don't think it's rocket science or gender specific. How many women like their man comparing their bodies to his previous girlfriends? I had a girlfriend completely freak out and basically attack me when she found out that I had dated this other girl with enormous tits that were bigger than hers.