In the Welcome to Red Pill Women post it points out that “You have the ability and the requirement to become the optimal mate for your optimal mate.” That is in a nutshell the difference between Red Pill relationships and Blue Pill. The Blue pill demands that you “just be yourself” and demands that “they love you for who you are unconditionally.” However, putting these two things together usually ends up with the result of “there is no reason to try” since they are supposed to love you no matter what. This is how you end up with a society full of fat shrill slobs demanding they be loved for who they are. In many relationships the man isn’t satisfied with their woman, the woman isn’t satisfied with their man, but they’re in a standoff where each refuses to improve themselves in a way that would create satisfaction in the relationship because they demand to be loved for who they are, no matter how horrible they are. In the Red Pill both parties aim to be their mate’s ideal, but almost always in so doing you become your own ideal as well.
I recommend people watch the movie “Wife vs. Secretary” with Clark Gable and Myrna Loy. It’s not the greatest movie, but you get a glimpse of two people embodying the male and female ideal. (If Clark Gable isn’t your ideal, maybe you like more thuggish males, substitute your own movie.) In this movie you will see two characters who are obviously concerned with their spouse’s ideals and strive to meet them. Notice that Myrna Loy is not the feminist caricature of the long-suffering submissive wife. She is dignified, classy, sophisticated, fun, sexy, graceful. And yet she obviously makes an effort to remain appealing to her husband, alpha male extraordinaire Clark Gable. Of course we can’t all be Clark Gable and Myrna Loy, but we can improve ourselves and both give and receive greater satisfaction.
The topic of this post is how to dress. However, I am not going to discuss what to wear in the bedroom, which is covered in plenty of other places. As a minimum, you want to be the best dressed woman your man will encounter that day. But this is not saying much considering how low standards have fallen in America, you should aim higher than the minimum.
What to wear is context dependent. Unless you live in Downton Abbey you won’t be wearing top of the line evening dresses every day. In our more modest suburban houses it would be incongruent to overdress. You also need to dress age appropriate, what is appropriate for a teenage girl to wear is different from what a woman in her 20s or 30s or 40s would wear. The advice here is for mature women in marriages, most likely with kids in the house. You want to be sophisticated and classy, but this has the danger of being sexless and unfeminine. You want to be sexy and feminine, but this has the potential to be cheap and tawdry. Aim to hit the sweet spot between classy, sophisticated, feminine, and sexy. But remember, your man’s opinion is of utmost importance, and since you are probably undoing decades of bad advice, emphasize the feminine. To offer a crash course in Red Pill attire is to simply say throw out all your pants, flats, t-shirts, and boring underwear. (Of course you can keep a pair of jeans around for gardening and the like). This is not to be tawdry and sleazy (although there is a place for that in the bedroom). Definitely emphasize your curves. The outfit should hint at what’s beneath, but not give away the candy store for free. Nor does it mean wearing towering stilettos constantly. There are plenty of comfortable feminine shoes with a low blocky heel. Within this range, there is an enormous variety of ways to express yourself and be creative.
This is supposed to be fun; your thought should be “I can’t wait to see his eyes bulge out when he sees me in this!” Also, odds are you have always been interested in fashion but haven’t allowed yourself to indulge in your own true desires and fantasies. When you fully ingest the Red pill you will despise your husband for NOT demanding you dress better. What high status man would put up with a woman who has such low standards!? Why does he put up with this? Why does he lack a backbone to go for what he wants? Why is he being such a pussy? And when he finally comes around and says “those shoes are unacceptable, put on your black pumps before we go out” you will get the tingles. Now he’s not taking any crap. Now he has standards. Now he cherishes me. Now he motivates me to be my best. Now he is acting like a man. Not dressing nicely for your man is a slap in the face. You both know you could dress better, and probably did when you were first dating, and so not dressing nicely now tells him, you are not worth my best. Somewhere inside you know you’re not giving him your best, and that you don’t respect him for tolerating it.
Of course, it’s not totally fun if you’re the only one playing the game. Your husband will need to step up his standards as well. But women need to be aware of what they are asking for as they tend to beta-ize their men. There is the stereotype of the woman buying a pink polo shirt and powder blue sweater for him to tie around his shoulders, and in so doing creating a man she is not attracted to at all. You are looking for what you find sexy in a man, for what turns you on. What you want is for him to be the best dressed man in the competition among men, not in some weird competition with your girlfriends. Of course, if your husband is an electrician or plumber he is not going to be wearing a suit everyday so there needs to be generous leeway. Also, you need to understand that it is complicated for men. A man who dresses incongruently will come across as try-hard. This actually serves to expose his weaknesses more than demonstrate his strength. A rich man wearing a suit exposes his strengths whereas a poor man doing the same exposes his weaknesses. It is like a fat woman by wearing heels and a miniskirt will make herself look worse, not better, by exposing her failings. It would probably be better for a poor man to wear a wife beater if it exposes his muscles.
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[deleted] 10y ago
Sorry but this is the biggest piece of consumerist bullshit I have ever seen. There is nothing wrong with looking good, but needing to conform to a stepford variation of femininity is just another form of the blue pill.
Yes, you should take care of yourself and be sexy. Will wearing a dress and heels make you sexy? No. Do men find women that shop all the time and are overly concerned with looks attractive? No.
Being in great shape will make anything you wear 10x sexier than if you a mushy blob. Also being willing to do active things that would be uncomfortable to do in heels is more attractive.
unikitten 10y ago
My sticking point with this is pants - especially in winter. What's your advice for feminine winter wear? We get quite a bit of snow where I live.
Also, are pants really unfeminine? My husband LOVES my yoga pants. (when I wear them, that is - not him!)
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[deleted] 10y ago
because this is a forum for women who care if their men find them feminine and attractive from a male perspective, not attractive from the perspective of women who hate the notion that any woman should care what men want think SHOULD be attractive
enticingasthatmaybe 10y ago
Speaking solely for myself; tight sundresses are the height of femininity for me. Wear a sundress around me and you're not likely to be wearing it long.
sunflowergirly 10y ago
Awesome to hear. :) I live in sundresses during the summer!
enticingasthatmaybe 10y ago
Sweet, what part of the world is that?
sunflowergirly 10y ago
I'm from the Midwest USA. :)
enticingasthatmaybe 10y ago
Damn, no where near me. Such is life
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[deleted] 10y ago
Speaking of affordable, a good consignment shop is a goldmine. I've gotten several beautiful designer dresses for less than $20 a piece.
sunflowergirly 10y ago
Hey there, thanks for this post! Super informative.
I'm a 20 year old female and pretty much live in dresses - even in the winter I wear dresses (just add tights!).
Does this by any chance make me look 'older' and should I opt for 'younger' types of clothing (like short shorts and feminine tops) to attract more men?
The_Ringmistress 10y ago
It depends on what you are trying to attract. There are many men that wish women would wear more dresses. Truly, rather than worrying about a more sexy or younger style, keep in mind that attraction is about how approachable you seem.
Is your hair long? Then wear it down, or in braids or a soft up-do rather than something severe like a bun.
Dresses can look frumpy or older if they don't fit or look out-dated. Look to fashion magazines to find current silhouettes and then choose then according to your requirements for flattering your body type and level of modesty. Make sure that it emphasizes a small waist if you have one.
And then work on your smile. If you are even moderately pretty and put together, a smile will make the outfit. It's what takes you from being intimidating to approachable. Learn to put men at ease and be a good listener.
Dressing "hot" will attract attention, but if what you want is long-term commitment with a man who cherishes you, it will be the wrong kind. Feminine and modest with an approachable, low-drama, easygoing style will make you a breath of fresh air. Avoid both the tomboy and harlot extremes.
sunflowergirly 10y ago
Thank you so much! I will be sure to follow this advice. :)
[deleted] 10y ago
Why do you want to attract more men? There is a concept in the Red Pill sphere called The Carousel, which is basically jumping from bed to bed but in the process reducing your ability to strongly bond with a man in a long time relationship. Opinions differ, but I'd think that a point for Red Pill women isn't to attract MORE men, it is to get commitment from the best man you can get.
sunflowergirly 10y ago
You know what? That's completely true. I don't plan on riding the carousel though, at all! I would never sleep with every guy who found me hot and give it up like it's nothing.
I guess I feel like the more men I attract and know are interested in me, the more likely I'll find that best suitor sooner.
TempestTcup 10y ago
My husband & I are a little more rough & tumble & he likes me to be dressed to handle any situation (flying, gunshows, thrift stores, etc.), so basically my rule of thumb is that any outfit that makes him look at me with lust gets worn frequently. He really likes the teeny shorts & boots combo.
[deleted] 10y ago
Yes, that goes with "context dependent." What works at gunshows and thrift stores won't work at a fancy restaurant. Teeny shorts and boots is super-hot, but I wouldn't want my woman wearing it to the opera :)
TempestTcup 10y ago
Lol, we don't do opera & we tend more towards hole-in-the-wall steak houses, but I do get what you are saying.
Dresses do not make my husband lust, so I have little interest in them. Dresses do make some men lust, so their women should wear them.
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Roseflowertea 10y ago
Hey, you don't need to be conservative, but you don't have to be super-sexy to be edgy. Have you ever considered going for a 50's rockabilly-ish vibe, which is pretty trendy now? Sun dresses that show off your tattoos, leather pants with a conservative Western-style shirt - it's all about the contrast, and is a rather modest style.
You can also go for what I like to call an "office punk" vibe. This takes quite a bit of time to curate, but it basically involves personalizing a basic professional wardrobe with punk elements. Two huge studded cuffs with a classic pencil skirt and button-down top (or skirt suit). Heels with a row of spikes along the back with an otherwise well-fitting but plain outfit, ect. These little details end up intruiging people, with that "there's more going on here" hint. The accessories for this wardrobe can also be applied to the rest kf your wardrobe - wear the keels with some jeans (skinny or trouser, depending on your body type) and a t shirt. One of the cuffs with your little black dress.
You can get away with having an alarmingly simple wardrobe if you have many bold, fun accessories you change out. I spend literally half of my days in a pair of well-fitting jeans and either a white or black t shirt. I switch up hats, huge necklaces, scarves, and chunky bracelets for flair (not all at once!!! Lol), with appropriate footwear. Jackets or sweaters added depending on weather. People are convinced I'm well-dressed. :p
This site has a lot of great style ideas, and I picked an outfit that might work for you. A sundress and heels are very feminine and traditional. The leather motorcycle jacket mixes it up a bit.
[deleted] 10y ago
Who doesn't take you seriously? If it's just "people" then say too bad to them and do what your boyfriend likes. If it's your daughters that are mortified at having an aging rocker mom, then tone it down when out with them. If its work, then dress conservatively at work and rock out when you get home.
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Great questions... Man that's rough. I've got fam in the Deep South, so I know what you mean. People talk, and they're usually incredibly ignorant about it. It sucks they would draw your kids into it.
Any way to compromise? Wear the nice dress, but color your hair blue, or wear a pair of punk-ish boots? Accessories can help you keep a bit of your personality. I dress much different than I used to (much more feminine, used to be a tomboy), but I still have my nose pierced because my guy likes it.
margerym 10y ago
I'm with Redpillwifey. There are really nice and classy ways to dress rocker. Rocker chic, if you will. The main idea is to be fairly toned down and have a few well placed "rocker" attributes. I'd pick one piercing (I have one myself) beyond the ears and a nice complimentary hair color and dress fairly conservatively otherwise (jean maxi skirt and black blouse as an example).
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margerym 10y ago
I completely understand this. Does your boyfriend understand your concerns? Have you asked him for middle-of-the-road suggestions?
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LFCaptain 10y ago
Are you at all familiar with pinup or rockabilly style? You might find some inspiration there...still kind of alternative, but very feminine and sexy while still being appropriate.
margerym 10y ago
That is really hard. Wishing you the best!
MandaMoo 10y ago
You and i sound quite similar with our problems! I'm heavily tattoo'd and i work in a corporate environment so i understand the social implications!
Check out brands such as Hell Bunny, Collectif, Betty Page, Deadly Dames, Lucky 13, Tuk, Iron Fist and Stop Staring. They're a little removed from "rocker" but very alternative. I find i'm MUCH better dressed than the people around me and i am well within my style too :)
[deleted] 10y ago
Maybe look into some Victorian steam punk style? I'm not sure if there is anything that can be tame enough to get people to stop talking. I know that modern steam punk uses lots of buckles so it might be to your taste.
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If you ever need it, there are some great tattoo concealing makeup options out there. Brides use them all the time for back tattoos when they wear backless dresses.
[deleted] 10y ago
Yeah you can definitely get pretty creative with it. Most steam punk stuff is at least covering a lot of skin. It would likely be considered "strange" but the covered up part of it might alleviate the problem. Plus you can get pretty feminine with it while adding touches of buckles/hardware and leather. I grew up in the deep south so I understand where you are coming from with your kids.
FleetingWish 10y ago
On that note I discovered something really neat for women who want to look nice for their men. Ballroom heels. I haven't tried them yet, but since they are made for dancers, they are supposed to be very comfortable. They are as cute as regular heels, and cost about the same.
Also the website have some degree of customizable features (varies based on shoe), you can choose the height and width of the heel you want.
sunflowergirly 10y ago
Oh my gosh, thanks for posting that! I have such a hard time with traditional heels when it comes to walking and not falling.
[deleted] 10y ago
Those types of heels are just awesome. They are perfect for dancing. :)
[deleted] 10y ago
I love these! And affordable! Awesome.
un-coolmom 10y ago
These are very comfy, you won't be disappointed. If you're a shorty like me, the 2 1/2" dancing heel gives a much needed length of leg and really shows off those calves.
margerym 10y ago
I had to quote this because it so perfectly describes what happened in my life. I was the first to say "something is wrong with me and my relationship" when I was a fairly hardcore feminist a few years ago. As time went on the above thoughts came into my mind. Now my formerly doormat husband expects me to look a certain way. For us it's different for other couples (because all couples are different, of course). He isn't into a lot of makeup or anything flashy. He likes long skirts/dresses and jeans that hug my rear mostly so I dress to accommodate that. When I get dressed in the morning I ask myself "Would it be a matter of pride for him to have me on his arm?"
I'm still not perfect at this. I'm still combating the brainwashing I had before. It still takes a lot of effort for me to get up in the morning, put even the little bit of makeup I wear on, do my hair, and dress halfway decent. But his reaction when he gets home never fails to elicit those tingles.