I have a kind of superpower. I don't care what others think and I'm hard to influence. I see others being drawn into drama, or sweet talked by women, or letting people at work pressure them. If someone is trying to pressure me, I just respond very minimally, I don't give them a smooth verbal response or offer them a cogent argument. But I just walk away or do my own thing.
I have quit some jobs when my superiors give me shit. In my mind, I have what you could call the latte test. I can listen to their shit, or I can walk out the door, go to the coffee shop and enjoy a nice latte. Why would I ever listen to their shit?
I never get attached to women.
The flipside is, I'm not charismatic and I'm basically just as unable to influence others as they are to influence me. I come across as low-key beta, so people are just unable to read me when I turn out not to be easily manipulated. I surprise people in that way.
Perhaps I'm sociopathic or pyschopathic, but I don't think so. I have feelings and empathy. I have no problems with impulse control or criminal tendencies.
Basically I may just be on the asperger's spectrum. What do you think? Do you relate to my self-description?
oldredder 11y ago
Maybe asperger's, maybe an entitled child who has some special financial protection so you can afford to just quit jobs with no worries.
Given your lack of problem with impulse control, in your words, I'd say not Asperger's, except your description of just quitting a job is a problem with impulse control because it's an impulse to quit with a serious consequence for doing so (poverty), unless you're protected by some unmentioned wealth you won't earn, didn't earn.
Being a stubborn introvert is not an aspect of Asperger's - the other commenter saying this is flat out wrong.
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rpsavant198 11y ago
Some good points asd1100.
Yes. I think it's a true self-analysis. It doesn't always work in my favor.
I have no problem being arrogant or antisocial. Coward I don't want to be, but I don't think I am. I can work on being more confrontational though.
Narcissist, no problem. I Avoidant yes this is a flaw.
Right. Career-wise, it's taken me a while but I am on the path to being self-employed and I won't settle for anything less. Took me a while to find that game but it's one I will play. Employee, no thanks.
I'm none of these. I think I just am not a bonder.
It is definitely a weakness. I'm not good at negotiation and persuasion. Most Dark Triad individuals are gifted there. That's why I would agree I'm more of a stubborn introvert who hasn't gotten out enough. Room for growth.
Good point.
Again this is a good point to hear. I can be too measured and cerebral.
I certainly believe in putting myself first. I agree about offering actual value which I am attempting to do in my business and my social life.
cheers
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rpsavant198 11y ago
I can tell you're trying to serve up the hard ass wisdom but you're a bit off, probably due to lack of a clear picture. Not sure where the bit about blowing dudes comes from! Lol. I do just fine with women, details would come across as boasting but never fear I'm not suffering angst in that area.
Yep I know about dealing with clients and I'm willing to fellate them metaphorically to use the language you gravitate towards.
In the workplace, I'm not quite so pathological, I just don't get why others seem quite happy to slot into the workplace hierarchy and defend a pathetic domain to the death, getting shat on by superiors and HR in return for a measly salary, a cubicle and just maybe a chance to shit on others further down the chain.
asd1100 11y ago
It comes from meeting a lot of closeted gay dudes, that try ridiculously hard to like pussy or to justify lacking that bit of male aggressiveness. Wanting to be straight is not enough to make you a good heterosexual man, sometimes liking pussy isn't enough either.
Yeah, you could swing your nercisism as a bait. You understad what leading a woman is a having her follow is? If you have less than that you are not doing fine. I won't press harder to deconstruct your paradigm, just be aware that you have a tendecy to warp your perception of events to fall in your ego driven paradigm.
Fellate them metaphorically :)) that sounds pretentious as fuck, that is not the type of language I use. But seriously on the issue, if you understand that there will be some ass kissing, then I would work on loosing the attitude(because you aren't fooling anyone with your half asses ass kissing) and become a savant in asskissing. Once you are proficient you can even ask them to wash up beforehand so the job isn't as disgusting as it currently is. But without making that extra effort on your side, they won't give two shits about you. (now that's the language I use)
It's a copping mechanism, it's the path of least resistance believe it or not. Now you are different because your ego needed to kick in sooner than theirs, so the immature paradigm it created was maintained into adulthood. Most cubicle dwellers got their spirits broken in in early adulthood. So the adaptation is perfectly suited for the corporate environment.
cray-cray-cray 11y ago
Based on your self-description, you sound like an INTJ or INTP, with weak social skills.
Unable because you lack skill in doing so, or unable because you lack substance?
rpsavant198 11y ago
Bingo. INTJ.
cray-cray-cray 11y ago
In that case... You can open yourself up to more influence, and that will be something that will be helpful to you in life.
As an INTJ, social skills will not come natural to you, but if you accept that social interaction is a learned skill, then you have a lot of room for improvement on that front.
Apanthropos 11y ago
Your post gives the impression that you are trying to make yourself feel special. However, by posting it here, you are doubting yourself, contradicting how you describe yourself in the post.
What do you really want to get after this post?
rpsavant198 11y ago
Sometimes I feel confident, other times less so. I certainly posted this in a moment of lower confidence.
I was mainly wondering if others feel they have similar personality traits..
That is, not alpha, but not a beta who wants to be a part of a group or loves to serve women.
Call it omega or sigma, whatever. I lift, have travelled extensively, have made love to a good number of women, so not a classic pathetic omega. Not saying I'm hugely successful though either. I'm working on it.
asd1100 11y ago
it's a Does anybody else post. Op doesn't want to change, he wants enablers.
lm_Brian 11y ago
Best guess is this is caused by lack of practice, Do you get out much? Sounds like you're a stubborn introvert, which is basically the textbook definition of asperger's.
oldredder 11y ago
NO that's not the definition. Someone with Asperger's has NO ability to control social learning or get good at it, none at all ever no matter how much practice, but can improve "a little". In decades that person might improve like you would in a year.
I've certainly known EXTROVERT Asperger's people too.
rpsavant198 11y ago
Stubborn introvert. Yes, you're right. And I enjoy the fuck out of it. Especially saying no to people who aren't used to hearing that and who make passionate and persuasive attempts to get something from me.
For a long time I didn't get out much, but have been dating quite successfully. And I am starting my own business so I don't have to answer to anyone, so I would say I'm adjusting OK.
Part of this thread is me realising that I'm not really the badass I thought I was, but I may well have a disorder. Oh well :-) suck it, world.
alpha_n3rd 11y ago
Autism is a spectrum of disorders. It's possible to have some symptoms (e.g. inability to understand non-verbal communications, lack of empathy, etc) without having full on Aspergers. All of those mental health diagnoses are pretty vague anyway. It's not like there's a blood test for aspergers.
Anyway recognizing this is good because now you understand yourself a little better. You can use your strong points to your advantage and work on your weak points. You may not be the badass you thought you were, but you're still in a pretty good position to become that badass someday.
One of the nice things about it is that we can LEARN by rote what nature didn't see fit to grant us by instinct. Others aren't so lucky. Once you wake up and unplug you realize that you already fall somewhere on the dark triad spectrum, at least WRT narcicism and sociopathy. Not full on, aspies have LOW emotional response, not ZERO, and a lot of it is that we just don't "get" emotions, not that we don't care. But you can learn to use those powers to your advantage and thankfully Machiavellianism is teachable.
ibuprofiend 11y ago
Not to mention that Asperger's doesn't even exist as a diagnosis anymore under DSM5.
alpha_n3rd 11y ago
The set of symptoms which make up Asperger's still exists, it's just not labeled as such in DSM5, it's just labeled as "autism spectrum".
DSM5 is controversial for a lot of reasons. Although DSM overall is controversial, as is mental health in general. I worked with one guy who said that he got out of mental health because everybody in it is crazier than the people they're supposed to be helping.
wurding 11y ago
I think aspergers can provide a useful perspective, seeing through emotional noise, but you really have to work extra hard to understand female motivations. The plus side is you are less likely to have emotional hangups about swallowing the red pill.
This video of an autistic guy greetinghis date is HILARIOUS! he doesn't even acknowledge her properly. This is almost like being really alpha, but is actually just the side effect of his condition and won't really help him in the dating game.
alpha_n3rd 11y ago
It helps in some ways but hurts overall. I've had several girls throw themselves at me despite putting in zero effort. Probably in part because I put in zero effort. But my complete inability to understand them was always a major source of frustration. There's hope for the long game as long as the person is willing to edumacate themselves.
wurding 11y ago
my advice, as someone who was suspected of being autistic, never diagnosed and never accused of it now, is learn to read emotions and predict reactions. Always look at people's faces (hard for autistic/aspergers people) because normals see failure to maintain eye contact as weakness rather than disinterest.
alpha_n3rd 11y ago
Yup. We may not have been born with the innate ability to understand "normal" human behavior, but we have the capacity to learn.
My problem is maintaining a socially acceptable level of eye contact. I'm always staring something down, either another person or the wall.
Eye contact is a dominant behavior though. Maybe it's better to err on the side of too much eye contact. When I stare at my wife she always gets giggly and self conscious.
qwerty_asd 11y ago
Alphaburgers
newlifeasredpill 11y ago
You can meet with a doctor and find out. Neuropsyche exam.
That way you can get best treatment
ibuprofiend 11y ago
Good lord... the kind of people who are attracted to this sub.
Lol no you don't.
So you have money to buy your fucking lattes? lol
People need to stop acting like mental illness is a good thing.
Finally, from the rules on the sidebar:
You need to stop trying to put yourself into a box and seeking approval from people on the Internet. It sounds like you have trouble relating to people which is generally a very BAD thing. Social skills are the most important factor in getting a good job, getting a girl, and tons of other things in life. You need to work on your social skills, and no, pretending to be Hannibal Lecter is not the way to develop your social skills, despite all the Dark Triad bullshit that gets thrown around here.
I too am quite awkward and generally feel distant from people, to the extent that some have suggested I might have Asperger's (which btw isn't actually a disorder anymore), but I've improved quite a bit. "Fake it till you make it" will be your friend here. Also read Dale Carnegie... it's still the gold standard. Also, develop some confidence so you don't find yourself asking a bunch of Internet strangers if you fit their "alpha" label... that's about the least alpha thing you can do.
asd1100 11y ago
The DSM is bullshit. If you can behave normally, you are normal, the only thing that matters is being able to be a funtional human being. Stop thinking that just because it's hard you are somehow broke. Everyone hates socialising, the alternative is simply unbearable and unthinkable. And like with everything doing it you get better at it. Stop with the labels already, introversion, autistic or hyperactive are just coping mechanism. The only reason they are a thing is because society wants you to behave in a certain way. It's a shaming mechanism like calling us misogynist for not being feminists. You can be your own person, learn to live with yourself and adapt in your own way to what society expects from you. Nobody has any idea what they are doing dude, stop putting yourself down for having a late start at the social game.
Learn to live in the moment and be aware of peoples behavior and their reactions, don't worry about reacting appropriately(in general minimalistic neutral responses are a safe bet). Congrats if you learn to do this out of reflex you graduated to "introvert". And so on until you get to alpha behavior.(you won't be as agresive as I am, but that is a personal flavor, you most certainly will be happier and better adapted than the sigma neckbeards that jerk of to their reflection reciting red pill mantras )
[deleted] 11y ago
I have aspergers and I could definitely sum up the experience as being immune to outside influence but incapable of influencing others.
You are already half-way there. Work on reading body language cues and predicting how people will act.
favours_of_the_moon 11y ago
Asperger's is a cop out.
You can get better at that shit, if you want to.
LeGrandDiableBlanc 11y ago
Alpha in a social and sexual context refers to your ability to lead others/influence them to want your goals.
Misteralcala 11y ago
Having Ass Burgers (that's what I call it) isn't a bad thing at all. It could actually be a benefit to you if you work hard and develop social skills to compliment your IDGAF attitude.
kingofpoplives 11y ago
You definitely are not alpha. You may be sigma:
http://voxday.blogspot.com/2010/05/explaining-sigma-again.html
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kingofpoplives 11y ago
Yea...everyone should strive to meet some arbitrary definition of "awesome" that you have so wisely defined for us. Because that's obviously possible, and because you, oh great and noble /u/asd1100, have been decreed lord and master of the universe.
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kingofpoplives 11y ago
I believe the term you are looking for is "loser".
"Looser" is the way your butt hole feels after Jimmy down at the truck stop gets done with you.
asd1100 11y ago
gay joke, so ironic coming from a cave dweller.
littledazed 11y ago
You know there's a study which shows that people who like lattes are indecisive?
Ermgotthis 11y ago
You need to read this, OP : www.ribbonfarm.com/the-gervais-principle/
rpsavant198 11y ago
I'm familiar with that.
Losers just want to have a job. The clueless buy into the organisation and love defending their territory. The sociopaths at the top exploit the losers and the clueless for money and status.
Your point?
Ermgotthis 11y ago
Basically, you have what it takes to become a sociopath, because you don't bond emotionnaly to people. Use this at your advantage : develop personnaly, and use what you learn to evolve professionnaly.
Johnny10toes 11y ago
I did an eye test once where you read the emotions in peoples eyes. They asked if I had aspergers I did so poorly. I doubt this is my case, I don't look people in the eye often enough to develop this better but what about you?