I'm a seasoned red piller.
I am and want to be (close to) amog in most of my close circles, being a leader and not a tyrant. However there is one guy who is very high in dominance, low in friendliness/agreeableness, he's quite judgmental, loud, negative, .. He's also very short (I'm very tall) so it's easy to see why he is that dominant.
But I don't like the way he is. So low in friendliness and that dominant makes me wonder why anyone would like him / follow his dominance. yet people do. Books like 'how to win friend and influence people' are about showing genuine interest, listening, .. summarized being friendly, showing (at least some) agreeableness, .. He has none of it yet can still be very dominant.
I have a hard time ignoring people or judging them (I want to give value to everyone instead of dominating/domineering them) so being as dominant as the other guy is difficult. Yet he is the more dominant and that feels like sometimes he's the amog.
I'm looking for a good piece / advice on how to find the correct balance and avoid the nice guy trap.
wobbleelbbow 5y ago
You don't like him because he can get away with it because he does things righteously and you're not. At least not around him. You become his bitch in other words. Be your own universe and do things righteously, like Patrice O'Neal says. Go look him up. Will change your worldview on women and men. It will make you stop doubting yourself.
ectoplasmic1 5y ago
What's wrong with the nice guy trap?
I'm a seasoned nice guy, and I fall in that trap all the time. Doesn't look like a trap to me - looks like a nest! I'm having fun down here, cantcha see?!
Seriously, my perspective is, it doesn't sound like this guy is a lot of fun. Sounds kind of on a power trip or something. Just giving him what he wants - which is apparently control, in a social sense - gets you off the hook from having to deal with his unpleasantness. Let him be the big man. You can be "Dr. Fun" in the equation.
rp_nc 5y ago
awesome :) thanks