So I've been posting answers to a lot of threads over the last few months and now I figure it's my turn. I was just told something that has fucked me up for the day. Just had this hot coworker tell me, while eating from a bag of gummi bears, "when I eat a lot of these, Chris ( her husband) tells me it makes my pussy taste like them."
I'm not about to shit where I eat-- I'm one of the biggest advocates against it-- but goddamn, I have no idea how to respond or why she felt the need to tell me THAT of all things.
I just can't even...
ZeroSixNiner 5y ago
Just to follow up, today was business as usual. I intentionally played it straight and acted like it was another day at work. After letting this macerate overnight and working today, I've realized that I guess I'm a little too cautious about these things. I mean, yeah, always be on your guard at work, but it wasn't as big of a deal as I made it. I just never expected her to come out and say it so blatantly like she did. Had it been something more artful and subtle it might have just made me raise an eyebrow, but to say with a straight face "makes my pussy taste..." would have made me do a classic spit-take if I was taking a drink at the time.
So yeah... original crisis over. Still not shitting where I eat. Just gonna err on the side of caution from now on.
derrtderr 5y ago
metoo
AtlasCuckd 5y ago
You deserve the upvote Sir Derrtderr of India
PussyofBengal 5y ago
She might be bored with her husband and is just testing the waters with you. Do not engage her under any circumstance. It’s not worth it.
ZeroSixNiner 5y ago
That's what I was thinking, though they've only been married a couple of months now. We work together on the same team and HELL NO WILL I EVER GO THERE. Can't stress that one enough. In fact, I may need to do some strategic maneuvering to distance myself from her and maybe get on another team.
Skrenf 5y ago
Nope...Nope...Nah.
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'Chris, you know zerosixniner asked me if my pussy tastes like gummy bears."
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Nah. Avoid.
[deleted] 5y ago
Women are sexual creatures. Their literal purpose is to procreate and continue the species. They love sex and all things related to sex. They will blab nonstop about it given the chance. Be an awesome nonjudgmental man and these conversations become normal and frankly they get old.
I don’t know what kind of job you have. If this is a professional gig then I would not engage in this conversation. A throwaway job like restaurant/service/retail then go ham and have fun.
ZeroSixNiner 5y ago
Yeah, I just never expected this of all things. Now to be fair, we have a playful, flirty work relationship. Put your pitchforks down, guys, I'm talking subtlety in the "I know you're thinking what I think you're thinking, but we're at work, there are boundaries, and neither of us is going to cross them." sort of way. Any guy with a healthy social relationship with women knows what I mean. This comment, in my opinion straight up crossed those boundaries times 100. We have never had any overtly sexual banter, and I make it a point to avoid that for obvious reasons. Some innuendo, yes, but never anything that will get me hauled off to HR.
I'm a bit disappointed in her, really. It IS a professional gig, and when it comes to the work, we make a very effective team and are sort of rockstars in our own right. Don't want to get too detailed in what I do for a living, but it's all about productivity metrics and we rule the bar graphs. But this changes things. As much as I like working with her from the professional standpoint, I can't let myself lapse into a too-comfortable position with her. Double standards, you know. She's basically allowed to tell me all the details of the taste, texture, and appearance of her cunt without fear of reprisal, but all it takes is a coy, "Really? I don't believe you." out of me, and BAM.
So yeah, looks like it's time for me to maneuver out of this partnership for my sanity and continued drama-free employment.
[deleted] 5y ago
Look we do and do not live in a sexual harassment witchhunt world. The same as we do and do not live in a car crash world. Wear a seatbelt and minimize your risks. Your solution to exit this profitable relationship would be leaving your car in the driveway and taking off the rims for good measure. Take whatever feelings you have for this gal aside and it’s just some dumb girl talking about her crotch. Big fucking deal. No where near worth bailing out of the top team.
You need to learn how to navigate and prosper. As long as you’re working for someone else, there will be women there. You gotta learn how to deal with that or make your money on your own.
Fauxregaurd 5y ago
That’s funny, Chris told me they make my dick taste like gummy bears. That bastard.
madhguru 5y ago
Im glad I kept scrolling, this IS the best comment.
markinsinz7 5y ago
Depends on where u work, and if u give a shit about ur job
ZeroSixNiner 5y ago
I do give a shit about my job. Just had to get it off my chest due to how flabbergasted I was by it.
falecf4 5y ago
I'd just be hmmm, sounds nice. Like it was some other boring random fact. Then ignore her.
Or if you wanna get gross... My gf said my cum tastes like come when I eat a lot of guys cum...
But that'd be sexual harassment.
OfficerWade 5y ago
Dude your intuition, that gut feeling that is telling something is wrong. You feel that?
Do not pass go. Do not fuck with this girl. You was right.
Radkin007 5y ago
“Hello, HR I’d like to make a complaint.”
HurricaneHugues 5y ago
https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/960/082/cac.jpg
HurricaneHugues 5y ago
Lol resist the Jezebel, brother.
creating_my_life 5y ago
Congrats. You're a girlfriend.
dukes1998 5y ago
Just make like an equally subtextual and off color joke lmao it’s the type of subtle flirting you gotta do when 1. The chick is fucking married and 2. When you’re at work like bro be careful
But saying something like “wow what a coincidence gummy bears are my favorite” or “damn i need to get me some gummy bears” or “yeah I have the same problem with insert food you’re eating” probably not be too bad.
ThickSoild2802485 5y ago
Don't shit where you eat. Peroid. Don't even think about it. I would agree that remark is full of sexual innuendo, but girls do that sometimes just to get a reaction. I would take it with a grain of salt.
failingtheturingtest 5y ago
She's putting them in the wrong way!
Seriously, who gives a fuck. You should stop answering questions around here if some innocuous flirty joke from a colleague throws you for a loop for the whole day.