Ex stared calling me names and saying how much she regrets meeting me after I went no-contact and blocked her on everything. Trying to understand what's in her head right now?
Ever get ghosted? There’s that small part of you that wants to provoke the other person into finally responding. Getting them to respond becomes a small victory.
Well chicks feel that too. And more often than not they have less self control over shit like this. So they act on it. She’s upset and she’s just trying to provoke a response out of you.
Women try to reframe reality into a version where YOU are the cause of her negative emotions. The fact that she currently cant bring you into this frame makes her lash out in frustration in hopes that you will walk into her frame for her, hence the nasty name calling.
never forget fellas... her default state of mind is, "innocent, pure, happy, not responsible, not accountable, 'girls just want to have fun,' positive, frolicking around without a care but want to be taken on an adventure... that ends in romantic sex."
if you understand this, you can understand why they ALWAYS try to blame others for any negative emotions they feel or cause others to feel. women always want to be INCLUDED in the herd... so they have to get rid of any negative feelings that may cause them to be thrown out from the 'good girl' popular group.
social status means everything to them... and that includes what other people think about them.
a woman can rob a bank, and on the way out... kick a baby, kill a puppy, push an old lady down, do drugs, and get gang-banged, but if she can, she will blame someone, anyone, etc. for MAKING her do all of that. none of it is her fault. and all those dicks she worked, "didn't count."
you're a man. what she expects you to do is take the blame so she can "cleanse herself" emotionally and move on.
my advice: go COMPLETELY silent. make it seem like YOU never existed to her. the hamster in her head will take steroids and burn-up his wheel.
You didn't gave her a closure. Her hamster is on fire and now she wants the upper hand and to provoke reaction from you.
Remember this: the second you react, or give any kind of closure, you automatically gave her hamster fuel to put you in the 'bad guy' category, validating her points that you were the scum in the relationship.
If the mutual friends(unless they're really close friends) are retarded enough to listen to her vent, then so be it. Don't vent about it to friends or acquaintances, because they're gonna spread lies and twist the story in the favor of whoever they like more between you and your ex. If you need someone to vent to, call up a close friend or best friend and if you have time go fetch a coffee and have fun.
Make sure you organize people you know in your head properly. Don't put them in the "close friend" category if you've spoken to them more times, or have gone out with them more times. Watch their actions and see if they have any ill intentions for you, if they do and want to go out with you and your friends then ignore them.
Losing a friend or not greeting an acquaintance anymore is by no means something to stress over.
Don't give your ex any attention. When walking past her look forward(be relaxed. getting anxious over seeing your ex after some time is normal, especially if you had deep feelings for her). Make sure you have a proper posture, don't give a shit about her existence or anything that can influence your mood negatively.
Long story short, she was my 'high school sweetheart.' She dropped me to marry the guy that was pre-med. Covered her tracks with a few false claims. I went on to make a fat stack, and she's periodically either tried to contact me or pull me into her legal issues. I haven't spoken to her in that entire time, and don't intend to again.
She doesn't but I don't want her to go around blabbering false things about myself. We all know how society generally tends to believe women and not men.
If he doesn't care why wouldn't he gave her closure?
When my explate start her full manipulate mode and after a lot of shit load she asked me can we make it up i just reponded no. Since then i've just one accidental on purpose message.
I think sometimes it is better to get her a quick clarification by telling no than deleting 10 voice message in a day.
How it is going to be entering her frame if the dumping her was a his choice. By telling her simple We are not gonna make it should simply short cut her complaining and stalking.
At least this works in my example
Thanks for reply but I think You misunderstood me. I wasnt talking about giving any explanation of his choice. There is a difference between explanation and making it clear that this relation will not go any further.
I know you're incredibly curious what she said and why.
But the feeling you get when you -actually- don't care at all and just delete her communications and go on with your life like they never happened and she barely exists is far better than whatever morbid curiosity you're satisfying by reading her rants and trying to understand.
Why bother to try to understand whats going on in her head? Even she doesn't understand what's going on in her head and she'll just forget it when the next distraction crosses her path.
Remember the story about the two monks and the woman at the stream.
It’s a waste of time trying to understand them trust me. It just leads to a bigger headache and more frustration. Women don’t even half understand why they do the things they do. I would honestly just not worry about it.
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bluefingerblue 5y ago
Ever get ghosted? There’s that small part of you that wants to provoke the other person into finally responding. Getting them to respond becomes a small victory.
Well chicks feel that too. And more often than not they have less self control over shit like this. So they act on it. She’s upset and she’s just trying to provoke a response out of you.
Keep doing what you’re doing. No contact.
SenorSwole 5y ago
Quit frankly I have no idea what the fuck you’re talking about. If someone ghosts me they’re done.
liberty1127 5y ago
It doesn't matter. Move on
spider514 5y ago
Women try to reframe reality into a version where YOU are the cause of her negative emotions. The fact that she currently cant bring you into this frame makes her lash out in frustration in hopes that you will walk into her frame for her, hence the nasty name calling.
omega_dawg93 5y ago
this.
never forget fellas... her default state of mind is, "innocent, pure, happy, not responsible, not accountable, 'girls just want to have fun,' positive, frolicking around without a care but want to be taken on an adventure... that ends in romantic sex."
if you understand this, you can understand why they ALWAYS try to blame others for any negative emotions they feel or cause others to feel. women always want to be INCLUDED in the herd... so they have to get rid of any negative feelings that may cause them to be thrown out from the 'good girl' popular group.
social status means everything to them... and that includes what other people think about them.
a woman can rob a bank, and on the way out... kick a baby, kill a puppy, push an old lady down, do drugs, and get gang-banged, but if she can, she will blame someone, anyone, etc. for MAKING her do all of that. none of it is her fault. and all those dicks she worked, "didn't count."
you're a man. what she expects you to do is take the blame so she can "cleanse herself" emotionally and move on.
my advice: go COMPLETELY silent. make it seem like YOU never existed to her. the hamster in her head will take steroids and burn-up his wheel.
Nezzyknowzzz666 5y ago
all kinds of gains lol
4matting 5y ago
The hamster is going to turn into a little Ronnie Coleman
Nezzyknowzzz666 5y ago
gains all kinds
​
omega_dawg93 5y ago
lol.
redhawkes 2 5y ago
You didn't gave her a closure. Her hamster is on fire and now she wants the upper hand and to provoke reaction from you.
Remember this: the second you react, or give any kind of closure, you automatically gave her hamster fuel to put you in the 'bad guy' category, validating her points that you were the scum in the relationship.
Do not respond.
onpuzzle 5y ago
Should I expect her to eventually stop? It frustrates me if she'll tell the same lies to our mutual friends, like I'm the bad one and she's a saint.
omega_dawg93 5y ago
expect to lose a few friends behind this shit.
but as stated before, do not give a single fuck about her or what those friends have to say.
stay in your frame and move on. ignore them ALL if you have to.
kick6 5y ago
Yes, she’ll tell the same lies. And you’ll find out just how “mutual” those friends actually are.
DVidojkovic 5y ago
If the mutual friends(unless they're really close friends) are retarded enough to listen to her vent, then so be it. Don't vent about it to friends or acquaintances, because they're gonna spread lies and twist the story in the favor of whoever they like more between you and your ex. If you need someone to vent to, call up a close friend or best friend and if you have time go fetch a coffee and have fun.
Make sure you organize people you know in your head properly. Don't put them in the "close friend" category if you've spoken to them more times, or have gone out with them more times. Watch their actions and see if they have any ill intentions for you, if they do and want to go out with you and your friends then ignore them.
Losing a friend or not greeting an acquaintance anymore is by no means something to stress over.
Don't give your ex any attention. When walking past her look forward(be relaxed. getting anxious over seeing your ex after some time is normal, especially if you had deep feelings for her). Make sure you have a proper posture, don't give a shit about her existence or anything that can influence your mood negatively.
RunawayGrain 5y ago
Mine hasn't after about thirty years. I hope you don't have the same misfortune.
onpuzzle 5y ago
Oh wow. Curious to hear more about this. She's still pestering you?
RunawayGrain 5y ago
Long story short, she was my 'high school sweetheart.' She dropped me to marry the guy that was pre-med. Covered her tracks with a few false claims. I went on to make a fat stack, and she's periodically either tried to contact me or pull me into her legal issues. I haven't spoken to her in that entire time, and don't intend to again.
redhawkes 2 5y ago
You should up your ZFG attitude. She doesn't matter at this point.
onpuzzle 5y ago
She doesn't but I don't want her to go around blabbering false things about myself. We all know how society generally tends to believe women and not men.
redhawkes 2 5y ago
That's why I said to go ZFG. Don't enter her frame. People will see that she's the cunt.
Also, don't let society dictate your life. It's the core of the bp mindset.
[deleted] 5y ago
If he doesn't care why wouldn't he gave her closure?
When my explate start her full manipulate mode and after a lot of shit load she asked me can we make it up i just reponded no. Since then i've just one accidental on purpose message.
I think sometimes it is better to get her a quick clarification by telling no than deleting 10 voice message in a day.
redhawkes 2 5y ago
Giving her closure is entering her frame (DEERing) she aint authority to you.
Plus, her hamster is overloaded. Hence her provocation to rationalize OPs behavior and make him the bad guy.
[deleted] 5y ago
How it is going to be entering her frame if the dumping her was a his choice. By telling her simple We are not gonna make it should simply short cut her complaining and stalking. At least this works in my example
redhawkes 2 5y ago
Read the OP again dude. Explaining to her = giving a fuck.
The whole thing is power play.
[deleted] 5y ago
Thanks for reply but I think You misunderstood me. I wasnt talking about giving any explanation of his choice. There is a difference between explanation and making it clear that this relation will not go any further.
Take care.
redhawkes 2 5y ago
I know. It's too late for that in OPs case.
CainPrice 5y ago
Delete any communications from her unread.
I know you're incredibly curious what she said and why.
But the feeling you get when you -actually- don't care at all and just delete her communications and go on with your life like they never happened and she barely exists is far better than whatever morbid curiosity you're satisfying by reading her rants and trying to understand.
binrobinro 5y ago
"Trying to understand what's in her head right now?" Hilarious.
Imagine a rabid badger with one leg in a steel trap.
[deleted] 5y ago
Study this. Light switch effect.
http://archive.is/J4FdG
zuhbooze 5y ago
How do you know she's saying such things when you're in NC and have her blocked on everything?
Keep focused on moving forward and don't worry about her.
onpuzzle 5y ago
She started emailing me.
DulceDeLecheMardel 5y ago
FYI, you can send those directly to trash. E-Mail filter, very simple.
Musicgoon 5y ago
Ghost bro, she's an ex for a reason. Who cares what she thinks. Move on. Spin plates.
mechdemon 5y ago
Why bother to try to understand whats going on in her head? Even she doesn't understand what's going on in her head and she'll just forget it when the next distraction crosses her path.
Remember the story about the two monks and the woman at the stream.
PIGamer86 5y ago
The next step is to accuse you of something, either to friends or authorities. Be ready.
Dakutsuki 5y ago
Why do you care?
onpuzzle 5y ago
I don't care but I want to learn from this and better understand female psychology.
Dakutsuki 5y ago
It’s a waste of time trying to understand them trust me. It just leads to a bigger headache and more frustration. Women don’t even half understand why they do the things they do. I would honestly just not worry about it.