Is there a reason why a woman would intentionally destroy her value among men and instead flatter other women for their beauty? | RedPillWomen

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Is there a reason why a woman would intentionally destroy her value among men and instead flatter other women for their beauty?

nobodysbusiness33

Posted 4y ago in DISCUSSION - Permalink - Locked - 743 Views

(30F) I used to interact with a lot of women at work in the past, and I noticed a pattern among some of them. There were some of them who used to put zero effort on their physical appearance and used to do things that decrease their value among men.

For example, one woman I knew, used to openly express her sexuality to other guys, despite being in a relationship, she used to have no boundaries when it came to men touching her inappropriately. She made it pretty clear to guys that she has no boundaries with respect to her body. And I didn't understand why a woman would lower her value like this. She used to constantly tell me how pretty I am and even touch my face in a way a partner should touch my face in a relationship. She had an argument with me once and started acting crazy and unhinged after which I stopped talking to her.

I had the exact same experience with another woman with similar traits.

Zero effort to look presentable,zero interest in her beauty
Having no respect for people's boundaries and touching women romantically
Antisocial behavior, starting fights and threatening to commit violence on other women
Having zero boundaries with respect to men touching their bodies
Being open about their sexuality in front of men

I want to understand if other women have experienced women like this showing similar patterns and if we need to be aware of such women trying to be friends with us.

Permalink

purplepansy88 4y ago

Some people are just very uninhibited and low in shame proneness. That sounds like the case.

Amongtheruins88 4y ago

It’s because they are deluded and conditioned into thinking that being a whore makes them MORE valued by men, because they are taught that men only care about sex, which isn’t even remotely true. It’s just that you don’t have anything else to offer besides sex, men will take what they can get.

nobodysbusiness33 4y ago

I think there are a good number of men who really only care about sex. The thing is,nobody wants these men,except for women who have low standards.

The 1 percent of men who are classy and high value are not attracted to sexually available women.They only want to be with sexually conservative women and if they can't find one, they still get into purely sexual relationship with the least slutty woman they can possibly find who would at least be exclusive with him.

[deleted] 4y ago

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nobodysbusiness33 4y ago

He never said men don't want women for their looks. He said men don't value women based on how good they are in bed. Looks and sex are not the same thing. Men will chose a beautiful girl over an average looking girl who is good in bed. I don't know how you confused looks with sex???

LateralThinker13 4y ago

Low self esteem and mental illness. It's not complicated. Usually have daddy issues as well, which includes lack of or poor boundaries.

Show me a sex worker who comes from a happy, well-adjusted two-parent household and I'll show you the other 99 who don't.

I didn't understand why a woman would lower her value like this.

Her value is, in significant part, what she BELIEVES it to be. If you look like an 8 but think/act/treat yourself like a 2, so will most other people.

Whisper 4y ago

I don't know if it's necessarily worth your time to examine the details of self-destructive behaviour.

nobodysbusiness33 4y ago

I really don't want to have anything to do with sef destructive people, but it's hard to avoid women like this. They can act like regular people and get into your social circle and once you have had a close enough friendship with them, they will start showing their true colors

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planterkitty 4y ago

Can't be helped. Some women are aware they're not and never will be conventially 'pretty'. They've probably have had internal struggles with this throughout life. I reckon we humans value our beauty precisely because it attracts the opposite sex. Women notice and understand when no one's ever given them a valentine at school, or asked them out, or been chosen by groups for being the 'beauty'. So what's her recourse? She may be done trying to live up to expectations of the opposite sex. (Weird 'youre beautiful the way you are' or variants from family and friends only reinforce that they're not.)

4–5. Believe it or not, a lot of people don't share our traditional values. My husband would not have dated me if I had been a puritan virgin. He didn't want to deal with women who are sexually inexperienced and would latch themselves emotionally to the first guy they come into contact with. Although contrary to my own personal values now, the sex-positive movement did help people feel better and more comfortable about their bodies and sexual experiences without attaching too much of their self-esteem and self-worth into it. It may sound foreign to you but there are a lot of confident, vibrant people out there who enjoy the dating scene and enjoy the intimacy that comes with dating someone. (Very few people actually do and enjoy one night stands.) Confidence in general is very attractive.

2–3. Just sound like bad upbringing.

My general advice would be... not much. I try not to judge people, and treat everyone the same. If needed I can establish firm boundaries ('Oh, sorry that makes me uncomfortable, could you please not to do that? Thank you.' and move on.) I have in the past made fellow women uncomfortable by trying to touch their face or tug at their freshly permed hair (because the bounce fascinated me). Each time I simply apologised for my lack of boundaries.

nobodysbusiness33 4y ago

Well having experience is different from letting random guys have freedom with your body. You were in some sort of relationship with the guys you dated in the past, either a friends with benefits one or casual sex or a relationship. In either case, you aren't just letting guys touch you unless they have some sort of relationship with you right? These women let random guys touch them inappropriately.

I mean even if you were okay with casual sex, you wouldn't just let a let a group of guys grind on you in a night club right?

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Amongtheruins88 4y ago

Wanting your woman to have had sex with other men before you so she could be “more experienced” literally makes you a cuck.

planterkitty 4y ago

Well, there's something to be said about a man who's sexually experienced, yet prefers virgins. You don't need to paint someone as having a weird fetish for cuckolding, just because he reasonably understands that just as he has a past, so do some women. And believe it or not, a lot of people end up putting the first person they have sex with on a pedestal, to their detriment.

If you're a virgin looking for a virgin, sure go ahead and uphold your standards.

Preferentially valuing virginity and deriding anyone else is just fetishizing purity and has nothing to do with virtue.

nobodysbusiness33 4y ago

Have you ever considered that men who have experience are actually doing this because women like us expect them to have experience?? Men who follow the traditions of society are under a lot of pressure to have sexual charisma and have the ability to draw women towards them. I'm saying this as a virgin woman who would prefer an experienced man over a virgin. Because I don't want an idiot who has no idea what to do with me in the bedroom. So men having sexual experience makes sense for women like us. It shows that

The man is desirable to other women
The man has a healthy sex drive
The man hasn't controlled his sexual feelings which means he isn't going to be desperate and crazy upon making out with a woman for the first time. Guys who've never been with a woman are creepy as hell. I don't want a man with teenage hormones anywhere near my body. I don't like being treated like a meal for someone who hasn't eaten for days. So obviously you think something is wrong with me because I prefer being a virgin and I want an experienced guy. But I don't really think there's anything wrong with people having preferences.

planterkitty 4y ago

Ahaha. Look, I agree with your general observations. However I don't condone this particular standard. I find it misogynistic (and it's textbook definition of a double standard). How did that line go? "Men always want to be a woman's first, but women always want to be a man's last."

I even said in another thread that virgins are ridiculously desperate horndogs when it comes to sex. But I find that goes both ways. I find that women may not be as eager to lose their virginity or have sex, but when they do they attach so much emotional significance to it and to the man they lose their virginity to, regardless of whether they're actually compatible or whether the relationship is really working.

So obviously you think something is wrong with me because I prefer being a virgin and I want an experienced guy. But I don't really think there's anything wrong with people having preferences.

This is actually the first time you've mentioned this on the thread, I think. No, I don't think something's wrong with you. My last comment was to address some rando's intimation that my husband's a cuck for not wanting a virgin? I would not stand for that. Like you said, there's nothing wrong with people having preferences. My husband is more sexually experienced than me, and taught me so many things in bed—particularly how to communicate and not just be a starfish/dead fish. He actually had a woman in his life who eagerly wanted to lose her virginity to him (not have a relationship, just lose her virginity) and he refused, precisely because he did not want to give her some sort of emotional scar or for her to regret it in the long run. He didn't want to be some random girl's baggage.

I'm not personally arguing against your preference. I'm just personally tired of seeing men devalue women and regard them as 'worthless' or 'leftovers' or some other incredibly misogynistic judgment that only apply to women and not them, just because they're not virgins.

nobodysbusiness33 4y ago

Do you have a problem with experienced men who don't prefer experienced women or do you have a problem with those men disrespecting the woman and slut shaming her? I mean, I know plenty of experienced men who are just not attracted to experienced women, but they don't have any malice in their hearts for them. They can still respect them if they're decent people but they just don't feel attracted to them and don't want them as a romantic or sexual partner.

In a way even I have double standards right? Because I want to be a virgin and still prefer my husband shouldn't be one? So that makes me a misandrist? Or is it only misogyny when a man has double standards?

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i_love_trump_MAGA 4y ago

the word cuck reminds me of a h-visual novel game i played that scarred me lol. Im not a fan of cucks , like why would you want your wife to cheat on you? or have "experience" , pretty sure women dont want their husbands cheating on them.

Amongtheruins88 4y ago

Lol yea, decent human beings normally aren’t fans of cucks

nobodysbusiness33 4y ago

I haven't met one man I've been attracted to that ever said he wanted his girl to have experience. The one's that said they wanted an experienced girl were usually lying because they were afraid of being judged by liberals.

Amongtheruins88 4y ago

Very true

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MuttonDressedAsGoose 4y ago

I don't know if I see these as connected. They sound like a list of unpleasant or self-destructive behaviour.

Some women really want male sexual attention, hence the vulgar behaviour.

Some women very much want to discourage male sexual attention, and so may make zero effort to groom attractively.

Both of the above may have their roots in sexual trauma early in life, by the way.

Some people of either sex are angry and pick fights.

Some people have different ideas about physical touch and appropriate boundaries - it's entirely possible that the things you consider romantic caresses are to them just tactile innocent expressions of affection. I mean, I touch my children in ways that might seem "romantic" if done to a man because they are tender touches of affection.

People just kinda do odd things.

mugatucrazypills 4y ago

lazy, particularly if they have natural appeal or SMV many fall into the habit of not working on or maintaining their appearance. In the same way many poeople don't live up to potential in many areas. Think of the people that breeze through high school but run into trouble with college material since they never had to develop prep and self-managment.
People do what they can get away with. If have been no serious consequences for misbehavior or impulsivity(as our "progressive" society is broadly biased against sanctioning women for sexual or aggressive behaviors), many behaviors will simply escalate untill they are exausted or a boundary is found.
See 2. Possibly high testosterone, without the aggressive social sanction and resulting emotional/social modulation most men have to develop.
ADHD, BPD various DSM-V and later conditions, hypersexuality as validation and coping mechanism. High T(sex drive). Impulse control.
High T. Attention-seeking behavior. Proxy Psychopathy (they enjoy the consequences and disruption their socially transgressive speech and conduct causes)/self-importance.

nobodysbusiness33 4y ago

This is so perfectly explained. Thank you. I honestly feel like these people either don't have social awareness of their image among people, or want to have a negative image idk.

statuseffect_ 4y ago

I think that’s called a mental disorder

JadedByEntropy 4y ago

Sounds like she was molested as a child and thinks her value comes from being sexually available to everyone rather than a prize to be won.

Thats a good reason why she doesn't do beauty standards herself, she doesn't feel beautiful and has no desire to draw attention to herself unless she invites it. If she makes herself "ugly" noone will want her without permission.

The aggression and violent streaks comes out of abuse and seeing a lot of it.

katx_x 4y ago

what?? why would your mind automatically go to sexual assault??? not everyone holds the same values.

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JadedByEntropy 4y ago

These aren't values. They're a wild and chaotic response reaction. The behaviors are conflicting eachother. Seeking attention, avoiding attention. Its very much a standard response but also shifted into the feminist view of selling yourself is powerful.

[deleted] 4y ago

I hate the demoralization in "the dating scene".. Sleeping with your boyfriend is seen as acceptable, but where's the line? It's like you can just date a guy, screw him, break up, date a guy, screw him, break up x300 and it's like there's just no value in sexual relationships anymore. More and more kids are born to unmarried couples, are being raised by single mothers. Self-proclaimed sluts with no self control promoting their impulsive validation problem as empowerment. There still needs to be some control!! I don't associate with hoes as it is but some come and go from friend groups like relationship nomads. From my experience they have similar traits too, and some completely align with yours

Drug addict of some type, or ex drug addict who never stops talking about how fun and crazy it was being an addict. If it's an ex drug addict, they pretend to have remorse but get way too excited to talk about the "glory days".
Ruin conversations by being overtly sexual, heavy flirting, directing conversation to really heavy baggage, shit talking, or just pretty disgusting things as if it's totally normal casual conversation.
Step on your boundaries constantly, and when reminded it makes you uncomfortable or to stop treating you a certain way, they'll get offended like you're the bad guy, or they'll exaggerate how awful they are as if you just told them they're the worse person in the world. Meanwhile you have to guess what their boundaries are since they're so ultra open about everything it seems like they don't exist, but they do and they're based on whatever their mood is on a day-to-day basis.
Can't be trusted with any responsibility. Brushes off letting people down, and not keeping their word like it's no big deal but then becomes overly angry and dramatic if they're let down even the slightest bit themselves.
Will hit on girls' boyfriends. Have basically no moral compass when it comes to respecting other women or their relationships while thinking they're the pinnacle of a respectable "free" woman themselves.
Always end in a crazy breakup and after they try to poison the well to put everyone on their side.

nobodysbusiness33 4y ago

I mean, women like these are not difficult to ignore. I know people think its easy to just ignore people, but its not. It's really important that we're aware of such behavioral patterns so we avoid being friendly with women like this.

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nobodysbusiness33 4y ago

I'm sort of a loser myself. My life experiences and values are so different from other people that I have been neglected by society a lot. I also have emotional issues that affect my personality and I can come off as neurotic. But I have never threatened violence on women or alow random creepy guys to touch me inappropriately. I mean, you can't really associate being a loser with being a sexually loose antisocial person.