I always that RPW founds crying men to be very unattractive? Not trying to start anything, genuine question

So basically, you're concerned that your husband doesn't "talk about his feelings"?

There are 3 main reasons for this:

1. Men and women process difficult emotions differently. Mark Ungor's talk about the male "nothing box" and the female lack of it explains this in a surprisingly accessible way.
2. Generally, women are not attracted to emotionally vulnerable men, irrespective of how many times they say that they are. Attraction isn't cerebral, it's visceral, and men know that, even if women don't, or pretend that they don't.
3. Talking to a woman is like talking to a cop - they remember everything, and everything you say can and will be used against you in the next argument. And with women, there is always an argument coming sooner or later - even if it takes years.

Women's innate emotional response is crying. Men's innate emotional response is anger.

When you're telling a man to "show his emotions" and "open up", you're basically telling him "be angry".

Maybe this video will help you understand better : https://youtu.be/iA5Y1AKejd8

Make this post on the blue pill or purple sub .

That’s where it belongs

You don't need to know. He is much more attractive to you this way. Men handle such things differently than women. Think about it. You currently see him as strong, successfull, caring and attractive. If he started crying to you, you'd see him as weak, insecure and unattractive.

Just know he has his ways of handling things and you don't need to worry. It's not about trust, it's about control. Men should learn to process and control emotions, not display and act irrationally on them. He knows and he's sparing you a headache.

I completely understand your confusion and frustration. As a woman, our spiritual lives are dominated by our emotions so it can seem alien or wrong if the man in our lives don't emote in a way that we can understand. It can feel like they're hiding something from you or are emotionally repressed.

But, what I've come to understand after being with the same man for over a decade who I would earlier on call "robotic" or "unenthusiastic" is that man inherently process and express emotions differently than women do. There's this story I'll never forget one of my mentors told me about an NFL player (forgive me, I don't follow sports at all, so I don't remember his name). It was the day of the Super Bowl and right before he went on the pitch, he found out his father died. I know if that had been me, I wouldn't have been able to stand, much less play; but this man was able to compartmentalize his feelings and instead of crying or breaking down, he used his body as a tool to express how he was feeling. He played the hardest he'd ever played before and his team took the win. When interviewed later and asked how he felt, he expressed that he'd played for his father and his win was his final gift of gratitude for the man who raised him.

If you were just to look at him, you wouldn't necessarily know how he was feeling but the pain was there, the sorrow, all the emotions. They were just expressed in a focused and purposeful way; and that's what a lot of men do.

My advice is to take your husband's advice; don't worry about it. Make sure you're always emotionally available for him if he needs you, but remember it's your job as a wife and a woman to receive, not to control. Don't try to control how he expresses himself; show your softness and willingness to nurture him without him having to ask for it. Maybe you won't know if something is the matter (and sometimes that will be for your benefit; let him lead you) but if you're thinking every day of a way to make your man feel safe and wanted, that's enough because that consistent abundance of care rallies him for whatever awaits him outside your home and he'll always know he has a safe place to fall.

Could be that his grieving style is 'space'. Some people don't like being smothered when they're upset. Just reiterate that you're always there for him. When he's down maybe he'd like to smell fresh cookies baked just for him or something warm and safe (run a hot shower for him) instead of talking it out.

the reason he doesn’t share that with you is there’s more than a few stories of guys opening up/crying to their partner then the relationship falling off a cliff shortly after.

It's actually normal for women to be vulnerable and for men to be stoic. I don't think there's anything wrong with him.

Men need respect and women need love.

You dated, fell in love with, and married a stoic man. It has a lot to do with the respect you feel for him, in the same way that your vulnerability has a lot to do with the love he feels for you.

Don't try to change him! The way women try to change men is invariably to be more feminine because they think feminine is the right way. But men have totally different needs, feminine tactics are useless to them.

Sounds like he’s just being a good man.

It has nothing to do with not trusting you, and everything to do with taking up the burden so you don’t have to. Men are taught to be strong and shoulder the burdens of their wives and children. They are taught that being vulnerable and expressing their own emotions, concerns, traumas, insecurities, doubts, and pains, is for the weak. Maybe to another man this is acceptable. But to their wife and children? That weight is not for them to carry.

It sounds like you’ve got a good man right there. He’s trying to be strong for you. Do well for him; there is always an opportunity to do so.

I'm not sure about these answers. I'm a man and this man's lack of emotion and willingness to share sounds more than just stoic -- definitely not average as far as men go in my experience. He sounds repressed to an extremely unhealthy degree. People who repress tend to snap or otherwise expel that emotion negatively eventually. Everyone needs someone to vent to. Usually for a husband, their wife is that person.

If he doesn't speak to you at all, but he speaks to others, there's some brokenness in the relationship, he doesn't like how you respond to him, or he doesn't want you telling others what he shares with you etc. There could be lots of explanations. If he speaks to no one, worse yet. My suggestion: couples therapy with a focus on getting him to share more.

Does anyone else have an issue with sharing with you? Has he said anything that may explain why he does this?

Tell him how his lack of sharing makes you feel. Dig deep and really tap into how you feel, then use those words. As for me, that behavior would make me feel unwanted, unworthy, excluded, or unnecessary. I wish you the best.

Edit:

I've never met a man who's treated me better

Good treatment includes good communication. Was he like this before you were married? Just because he's better than anyone you've known before, doesn't mean he treats you well -- except relatively.