I don't like the sound of this guy. Sounds like he just wants sex with a younger woman. Nothing more than that. Remember these four words: Men Lie For Sex.

He's 45 and you're 25. You serve only one purpose for him, don't delude yourself into thinking he cares about you. You're younger than his kids could be, this isn't love at all, it's an old man's lusts.

You’re instincts are right. He’s trying to use you as a booty call. He showed you his true colours.

So a man was super nice (a little too nice imo) to you in the beginning, texting you all day and being very sweet, then ghosted you when you declined a short notice request to come over to HIS place to “cuddle”?

Nope nope nope. Don’t text him some kind of novel, don’t get upset, just give him some distance. Others are saying you’re overthinking this but I disagree. I also don’t think you hurt his feelings. I think he’s a middle aged man trying to get a 25 year old woman into bed. Now, maybe he texts you tomorrow with some explanation for the silence and it turns out he’s a great guy with honorable intentions and really DID just want to cuddle and had some homemade chicken noodle soup in the crockpot for you, ready to go. But I wouldn’t count on it. Any short notice request for you to bring yourself to his place like a Pizza Hut delivery is insulting imo. (Edit: okay, so he offered to pick you up. That makes it marginally better but not by much.) Especially when you’re sick. He could have dropped something off for you. Could have offered to come to YOUR place and do you dishes, bring you some food, etc. I’m just hella suspicious of this thing and I think it’s valid for you to feel hurt/skeptical/etc. Just don’t freak out on him while you’re feeling this way. Calm, kind, dignified distancing is the best move.

Look you didn’t ask for this advice necessarily but as a woman older than you I feel the need to say it. In the future if you plan to keep dating men his age: The relative worth of him paying for your health expenses and other contributions like this, is a lot less for him than you. $100 to a 45 year old is often no big deal compared to what $100 is to a 25 year old. Don’t overvalue his generosity. I’m not saying don’t be grateful. I’m saying have some perspective and understand that to a 45 year old with resources and an established career and healthy income, paying medical expenses in order to get into your pants isn’t exactly out of the question. Depending on his position in life, him paying for your bill could be like buying a latte or a tank of gas for him. Sorry if this is harsh. And again I’m not saying don’t be grateful I’m just saying maintain perspective and don’t take these gestures for more than what they are.

As an active member in r/agegap with an 18 yr AGR, engaged and very happy with my life, I find all relationships like this rather funny.

All boys and men that contradict themselves, like another reply said, don't write a novel about it, point out the hypocrisy and then leave it there. Good men, good young men, and good older men, have the working brain cells to respect you and honor you, part of making sure your partner does that is by having a spine and not falling for red flags, or just things in general that rub you the wrong way. There's a lot of people that aren't compatible with us, which is why us having a spine and knowing when to leave is so crucial. I honestly think that knowing when to walk away and actually doing it if you see fit may actually be the majority of what makes another person respect us, because if they cared at all about us, they would've already thought about us leaving.

Anyway, the relationship may be too new to know if he's interested in what you're interested in in the long run, I know with my fiance, our first conversation was about our values and if our life goals aligned, which they did, and that's why we've been together for 5 years. Never settle for less, and if you don't know what you want, that's okay too, stay casual, but if you do know what you want, absolutely excersise your spine of steel, you'll find a wonderful man that way, they're out there, it just takes a minute to find them. Helps a lot to have that values conversation asap so you know if you're a good long term fit if that's what you want.

But yeah, this guy, I'd tell him off tactfully and swift. See what he says. 45 is the kind of age gap where they may be articulate with texting, or not. My fiance was, we had our talk via text through an app, 5 years ago he was 35. It depends on the person, if it rubs you wrong, ghost, there's always better in the dating world for women who know they're worth their salt. Never settle for anything but the best

I asked my former fiance over to cuddle many times and we never had sex. You don't know his intent. Even if he wanted sex, If you drop every guy who tries even at the beginning of the relationship then you are going to have a hard time finding a guy. A simple sweet I'm not feeling well but I would love to see you when I am feeling better would do.

Rather than trying to mind read, why don’t you wait and actually find out for a fact what his intentions are? If you want to see him again, see him again - as another commenter said, maybe he thinks you’re not interested and that’s why he’s gone silent?

Life is too short for nonsense. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.

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It's very rare that age gap ever works out or is ever genuine. When I was 22 I dated a 43 year old. It's just not good. I wouldn't recommend it. Just find someone closer to your age, you'll probably have better luck.

Wait, so it's currently Saturday afternoon, and you're worried because he hasn't texted you since Friday night? He is divorced and has two children, so if he has at least partial custody, he may be taking care of them this weekend. He may have had something else to do. He's not necessarily giving you the silent treatment. Please relax.

Also, I wouldn't read so much of a "contradiction" into what he said. He may have thought you felt well enough to have a chill night with him rather than going out, hence his invitation to you. And I don't know how far you've gone on your dates, but he's a grown man who is interested in you. Most men will try to make something happen if they see a possibility of the answer being "yes," regardless of how serious or not serious they are about you. Him trying and you saying "no" at first is not a problem, just so long as he respects your answer.

I will say regardless of this situation, I am wary of the difference in your ages if this is how you react to his texting habits, for instance. Older men can talk really well and sound like they're offering you everything even when they're offering you nothing, because they're older and more experienced than you. Don't let this guy use your age to his advantage if something seriously feels off in your relationship -- and no, I don't thing this incident is "serious."

After two dates, a man asks you to come over and cuddle. Whether you were sick or not, you can decline for whatever reason you would like, but I find that to be a pretty normal request in the modern dating world from a man (like it or not). They are going to try. Maybe his feelings are hurt. If it were me I would say something like “Aw I can’t I’m still sick but I’m so looking forward to seeing you when I’m better!!” he may just assume you’re not interested anymore and pushing him off. Paying for medical expenses after two dates is a lot so for whatever reason he’s trying to impress you, I wouldn’t get so worked up about this.

He hasn't talked to you in a day and you are worried? Give him some time.

I agree with the advice to see where it goes from here and just add a bit extra caution. He’s a grown ass man, he should be capable of understanding that you wouldn’t wanna cuddle with a man you’ve only been on 2 dates with while sick.

I also think it’s fair to give him a bit of the benefit of the doubt - maybe he was worried he was being too “into” you and didn’t want to scare you away, so he pulled back a bit. Maybe he has his kids today so he’s busy. Maybe he wanted to let you sleep in and didn’t want to text you early and risk waking you or something. Maybe he really did just want to try and get into your pants, but there are plenty of reasons why he could have done what he did, and not all of them are bad.

Also, as someone who dated a mid-40s guy in my mid-20s, older men just text differently than younger guys. If taking a bit longer to text you is all that it takes for you to question things, then maybe it’s not the right fit.

It’s disappointing, I know especially when you feel like there was the potential for a real connection, but when someone shows you their true colors through their actions just take their word for it. Him giving you so much attention but then going radio silent on you after you declined his booty call (while SICK no less) says a lot about the type of man he is. Remember even the devil could be charming.