I’m new to RPW and since adopting some of these principles over the last month, I have learned so much about myself, my SO and am loving the benefits of it all.
I’m working each day at being more feminine. Some feminine ways come more naturally than others and I’m still learning each day, through this forum and books I’ve been reading, that certain behaviors of mine are rather masculine. I’m grateful to have people pointing out behaviors as being “masculine” or “dominant” because, my upbringing taught me that these behaviors were normal for women and positive characteristics.
But, today, I am wondering about how Red Pill pertains to politics. My SO hates when I discuss politics. Whether I am saying something that I think he agrees with or disagrees with, he just does not want to hear it. It bothers me because I like to think out loud and an am excited to share new ways of thinking I’ve adapted but he finds it annoying. He also doesn’t care to share his own perspectives.
I understand that when he says he doesn’t want to talk about something, I should stfu rather than pushing him to listen or respond (what I would have done in the past). I also understand he may respond this way because of how I have reacted in the past to his beliefs that I disagreed with and that it may take time to earn trust back to be able to talk about certain things again. I’ve done a lot of damage.
But my question is, is it masculine to want to discuss politics? Or is it more likely my past behaviors that are turning him off from wanting to discuss them with me? I feel sad that he didn’t want to hear what I had to say, especially since I thought it would be something we may share opinions on. But I respected his wishes and shut my mouth.
Is there hope to talk about these things in the future after earning trust back or is this something I should try to only discuss with a friend?
If I’m asking the wrong questions, other related advice is welcome.
This community was created as a harbor for RP minded women whose goal is to build a lasting and happy relationship with a great man.
Created by LuckyLittleStar

Blackhawk2479 3y ago
There are some topics that are ultimately a hiding to nothing when discussed with loved ones, and politics is right at the top of the list in my opinion, especially if you and your SO are differently inclined.
Rather than worrying if it’s masculine or not to want to talk about politics, I’d look inwards a bit more and try to understand why you want to talk about them with your SO in the first place, especially when it’s a divisive topic that he’s already said he doesn’t want to engage in.
What are your motivations, and are they strong enough for you to potentially cause issues in your relationship? Can you find another outlet for your political thoughts to achieve the same outcome?
Spiritual-Screen- 3y ago
I guess my motivation is to have him validate what I’m thinking. I was going to say to validate me or provoke thought in another direction but that’s probably not true. I probably was looking for him to agree with me so that I could feel a sense of bonding. Or for him to see my change in perspective of societal issues that I feel relate to Red Pill without actually talking about Red Pill. I haven’t really discussed Red Pill with him or the changes I’m making. I’ve just been putting them into action as much as I can because talking about it seems pointless when I could just demonstrate it. I think trying to discuss this “political topic” was a way for me to share a change in perspective and I wanted him to be proud of me and bring us closer.
sleeplessbeanbean 3y ago
This is a very insightful answer. I think you're doing great in growing & learning about yourself & your habits, and self-examination like this will absolutely be valuable in continuing to adjust your behaviors and regulate your emotions. Good job, sister!
Spiritual-Screen- 3y ago
Thanks for the encouragement!
CountTheBees 3y ago
You've already come a long way, but depending on what you did, a month is probably not enough to undo the damage, especially since as you say, there's a lot of it!
It will help to openly and directly acknowledge what you did wrong in the past ---
"Look I know I've done the wrong thing in the past, by saying ____ when you were trying to explain ___ to me. I may have even dismissed you/deliberately twisted your words/(fill in your own actions, the other two are just examples) and made you feel like you were ____. I want us to be closer now and I want to be able to speak about these things." Etc.
Just keep on keeping on. It may take him a while to get used to the new 'you', and if he lashes out, don't get defensive or mean or argue back. He needs to vent. I think he has a lot of negative emotions about this topic and he's still not sure if your changes are permanent. When he is sure they are permanent and you are sorry, it will probably get worse. Instead of not wanting to talk about it, he may want to rant about it and criticise your old views very harshly and tell you exactly what it felt like to be shut down/dismissed and so on, and he will not support your own feelings on this topic or validate them, until he gets everything off his chest.
After that phase is finished it should be much better than it ever was, and you two may be able to have wonderful open discussions! This is known as the Pandora's Box phase.
Spiritual-Screen- 3y ago
Thank you for sharing about the Pandora’s Box Phase. I am currently reading Fascinating Womanhood but am not that far yet. I have never heard of this before but from what I’m reading in the link, I definitely think I have experienced it in the past (and of course reacted defensively, making things escalate even more!) It’s a true relief to have someone spell these things out for me!!
Jenneapolis 3y ago
When I was growing up, my parents and grandparents would not discuss politics with me at all. Even as a kid I would ask who they voted for and they told me that was private. Rather than looking at this as masculine behavior, he sounds like it’s just private for him. He doesn’t want to talk about it regardless of if you agree or disagree so I would just let it go. Find another outlet like a friend who wants to discuss with you.
Spiritual-Screen- 3y ago
I like this perspective. Thank you!
WhatIsThisAccountFor 3y ago
You have to decide whether your belief on politics is worth your relationship.
You said you reacted poorly to his beliefs in the past, and he doesn’t want to talk anymore probably because of that.
In my opinion politics in america have devolved to a point where everything is a partisan issue to a certain extent. I don’t think there is a lot of success to be had romantically between two people with strongly aligned opposing political beliefs in America.
I think if you can’t avoid talking about it, you should probably find someone else to talk about it with. If you want to talk about it specifically with your signficant other, and have meaningful conversations, then I think your relationship is going to slowly deteriorate over time.
If you’re both strongly on opposite sides you likely have moral incompatibilities which can’t really be resolved without compromise… and Americans don’t like to compromise on politics.
Spiritual-Screen- 3y ago
I think our views have opposed each others’ much more in the past than present. I feel they will only align more with each other the longer I live with this new perspective. I’ve actually had no desire to discuss politics with him in some time. The changes in my view on things, I’m sure are what provoked me to want to discuss them again. So in responding to these comments I’m realizing, he’s probably still in that place we had in common a few months ago, if not wanting to discuss them. I guess him not wanting to discuss them is not the problem. I’m the one that was trying to change something that had been working for us, because of my change in opinion on certain topics. I guess if it wasn’t super important to me when our opinions were more in opposition, it doesn’t need to be more important now.
magmawing98 3y ago
Your political stance greatly reflects your life values. If you cannot talk about politics with your SO, I can't really see how you can have a long term relationship.
Will he be equally uneager to talk about it when an actual life problem that touches the political sphere arises? Shoving topics under the carpet does not make them go away.
Also, him running away from words is kind of very un-red-pill-like.
Spiritual-Screen- 3y ago
I guess I don’t understand how that isn’t Red Pill like for him to not want to discuss the topic with me. But he does not necessarily consider himself Red Pill. These are things I’m learning independently and applying to our relationship on my end. I don’t know that I would ask him to be more “Red Pill” in the future but right now, I don’t really see the need to. From what I’ve learned so far, I believe so much of the change we’ve needed starts with me.
magmawing98 3y ago
If you ask me, Red Pill men tend to be leaders and protectors. I can't see a competent protector being vulnerable to words. And then again, maybe it's just me.
Love this.
Spiritual-Screen- 3y ago
Oh, okay. I get what you’re saying but I don’t think it’s so black and white. I don’t know that it’s so much he being “vulnerable with words,” but maybe avoiding a topic that has ended poorly multiple times before. Again, he isn’t familiar with “Red Pill” but I do think he is a natural leader and protecter. My desire for control in the past and to often have the final say, I would assume has broken down some of his more masculine and leading traits in efforts to not have to deal with my crap. I have noticed already that by stepping out of his way, he has in ways stepped more into his leader qualities but it’s still rather new soo my hopes and beliefs are that he will continue to move back to his leader roll. Time will tell.
emmalai85 3y ago
My husband doesn't like discussing politics, either, or me being a part of it. Not because he doesn't think I'm intelligent, but because friends and family brow beat me, or pressure me and dont' allow me to have my own feelings different than their own.
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so we have a no politic rule for our household outside of the two of us talking together. It makes life so much easier for us. it's a clear boundary I can set with everyone, family, friends, anyone who gets pushy.
It also helps that we moved out of the country, and I can simply say, too, "I don't live in the USA anymore, I moved out of here partially because of the political climate, so I no longer wish to discuss it with anyone. If it doesn't apply to where I live, it's irrelevant." and since none of the people I talk too, live where do, it is a nice way to stop conversations with people.
Spiritual-Screen- 3y ago
Thanks for sharing! It’s definitely encouraging to hear of other happy relationships with this boundary in place.