Recently something happened that I hope will never occur again, and it’s definitely put me in even more of a grateful, appreciative, and contemplative mindset. Occam and I were at home, watching a movie and taking care of some minor things. We both wandered into different areas of the house when some abnormal ‘pops’ sounded. I was confused because the noise was too loud (and also out of place) for the movie we had playing on the TV. I remember freezing, and then turning out the lights and locking the doors on one end of the house (Occam took care of the other side). A few moments later, he found me (with a home defense weapon ((not a gun)) in hand), and quietly asked me to recount what I had heard. The silence outside was quickly replaced by police sirens and the area was blocked off by a cluster of squad cars.
Suffice it to say that I was panicked, confused, and more than a little worried. I’ve never been in a situation like that before, so I have no idea if my reactions were the ‘best’ ones or not, but they made sense to me at the time. Looking back, I’m surprised I didn’t scream or make any noise, but I think I was just dumbfounded more than anything and my instinct to be quiet/hide kicked into overdrive. Occam was thoroughly calm, and although alert, not at all frightened. He wrapped me in his arms and told me everything was fine. The cops had arrived, they were doing their jobs, and they would be knocking on our door at some point to talk to us. He went to the door and observed what was happening outside (I peeked very briefly once or twice, but overall felt much better sitting on the ground with my cat).
Without going into too many details, I will say that a bullet found its way into the house (no one was injured). We spoke to the police, documented the damage, and then (as odd as this may sound) everything went back to normal. I’ve been processing my emotions (from disbelief, confusion, and shock to feeling anxious, worried, sad, and apprehensive) and Occam has been an absolute rock. Had I been alone, there’s no doubt in my mind that my reaction(s) would have been very different, as well as my ability to process everything. He’s been nothing short of amazing through all of this. He has been calm, logical, patient, and comforting. Initially I just wanted to stay inside, but Occam coaxed me into going out for some food and to take care of some light errands together. I’m really glad he did that, because otherwise going out would have probably just made me more and more anxious the longer I waited. If I start to feel overwhelmed, Occam simply helps me calm down and stay focused. My reactions have been very proportionate considering the situation (I haven’t been hysterical or inconsolable by any means) mostly just a bit more jumpy and sensitive than usual. Sticking to our normal schedule has helped as well (ditto on working out).
Fortunately no one was hurt, and only property was damaged. There are a few theories about who did this and why, but it’s all speculation (no official word one way or the other). For privacy concerns I won’t be posting more information about this incident (apologies ahead of time).
I find a great deal of comfort in the fact that we both handled things well, and also that Occam wasn't jarred into unusual behavior patterns during (or after) the event. I know first-hand now that Occam is not one to buckle when things get a bit hairy, and it's comforting to know that he made not only our safety in general a priority - but also that he was focused on my well-being as well.
I am relieved and grateful beyond words, and overwhelmed with love not only for Occam - but for everything in my life.
I hope you all have a wonderful day. Take care and be well. :0)

cha-no-ki 11y ago
He sounds amazing, you're very fortunate! I'm glad no one was hurt!
PhantomDream09 11y ago
Thank you.
tinysunshine 11y ago
Literally under fire.
What a scary experience. Glad that nobody was injured and that you are safe. Time to buy a lottery ticket I'd say. Take care. :)
PhantomDream09 11y ago
Yes, the title of the post was a bit of my gallows humor bleeding through.
(sometimes I just can't help myself haha!) :0)
cruyff8 11y ago
Be safe
PhantomDream09 11y ago
Thank you, that's definitely the plan haha. :0)
FleetingWish 11y ago
Having an SO you can count on is one of the most amazing things. I know I am so grateful to mine for what he did for me. When I found out I had cancer, I was an absolute mess, but I was so glad to have [redacted] there. He never let me see him worried, and was completely their for me. He took care of everything, including helping me believe that I would be ok. I am so grateful to him. Like you said, he was my rock.
PhantomDream09 11y ago
I was glad to hear that you're doing better. :0)
FleetingWish 11y ago
Glad to know you're doing ok too. I'm glad no one got hurt.
tradmarriageftw 11y ago
Wow, it sounds like you a pretty quick reaction time there. I'm glad everything is okay and that you have such a wonderful partner.
PhantomDream09 11y ago
Thanks. I do have a very strong flight instinct and I can't recall a situation where I ever felt inclined to fight (which I'm very thankful for).
It sounds horrible to say "I'm glad Occam was there with me" because that suggests that I wanted him to be in danger (which isn't the case at all)....so I'm not entirely sure how to phrase this thought exactly. I'm glad no one was hurt, and I'm aware that my reaction would have been different if I had been all by myself (more panicked, anxious, muddle-headed), and I'm thankful that he was (and continues to be) so thoughtful, calm, and protective.
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PhantomDream09 11y ago
Yes, he does feel protective of me and he enjoys making me feel safe. We were also in an earthquake together. I woke up very panicked and my yelping/shouts are actually what rousted Occam (not the shaking room haha). It was fairly concerning, but he wasn't phased at all. Just held me close and stayed up with me until I drifted back to sleep.
[deleted] 11y ago
Good job!
PhantomDream09 11y ago
Thank you.
[deleted] 11y ago
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PhantomDream09 11y ago
I was definitely stressed, and freaked out...but I guess most of that was processed internally and expressed in a very muted way. When Occam went to the door, I did ask momentarily ask him to stay away from the windows/door in a pleading tone. He looked directly at me and simply said "I need to figure out what I can, stay here and sit on the ground." I was scared, there's no two ways about it, the entire experience was unreal and nightmarish - but I'm relieved that we were both still able to communicate and figure out how to proceed.
Thank you for the kind words, they mean a lot to both of us.
bicepsblastingstud 11y ago
Good choice in your partner.
PhantomDream09 11y ago
Haha, he picked me - so really, I'm the lucky one. :0)
Aine_of_knockaine 11y ago
I'm glad that you're all okay.
I think having an idea of how to defend yourself or your home in emergency situations is really important. I think it's important that everyone prepares for an emergency situation from a fire to a home break in.
PhantomDream09 11y ago
Thank you, and I agree - knowing how to respond in emergency situations is important. I know what to do in the event of most natural disasters or a fire, I even have a plan if someone is trying to break in - gunfire on the other hand isn't really something I ever spent much time thinking about. The good news is that Occam and I are changing that, and have already looked into a few possible solutions/aids etc.
sugarcrush 11y ago
I'm so happy both of you are okay! What a scary situation.
Your instincts seem pretty spot on to me. As a suggestion for everyone here, Even though it's depressing to talk about, and you'll probably never need it, I think it's good to have a plan for emergency situations like this. I know personally my instincts usually suck, so having a general idea of what I SHOULD do is comforting/helpful for me :)
PhantomDream09 11y ago
Thank you sugarcrush - it was definitely an experience I never want to deal with again, that's for sure.
I agree, knowing what to do in unusual/emergency situations is very important. I mentioned this in another comment, but Occam and I are taking some time to hammer out a more thorough plan if/when something like this happens again.
Like you, I feel better when I have a general plan in mind before one is actually needed. It's interesting because in school (and even at most work-places), you go through 'Fire Drills' etc so that everyone knows how to respond. I remember when I was little, my parents taught me what to do if the fire alarm went off, or if there was an earthquake/flood/tornado, but I've never done a dry 'run through' as an adult (more just thinking/making sure there's some resources and a first aid etc). I definitely need to update all of that and go over everything again (as well as check my car emergency kit).
khxddr 11y ago
I'm a man, and want to point something out.
I'm perfectly willing to remain calm, collected and supportive. In fact, I want to do it. I was, however, very disappointed in my ex girlfriend when she just took that for granted without offering anything in return. There's a good chance he's rattled too, and while you shouldn't need to be his rock, you can still do things that you know make him feel good + show appreciation.
I'm not saying you don't. This was just not covered in your post.
OccamsUsername 11y ago
I'm the man being discussed.
I don't rattle easily, I've seen and been through worse in my life. As an aside, she knows and performs her various First Officer duties quite well, which is why I continue to operate as the protector.
PhantomDream09 11y ago
Writing this post is one way that has allowed me to express gratitude and show my appreciation for him. However, it is not the only (or even main way) that I strive to communicate those things to Occam. We have a very mindful relationship, and we both strive to communicate certain things to each other. There are certain things that I rarely talk about online, not only because I am a fairly private individual, but also because there are certain things that I consider 'privileged' (they are only meant to be known/observed etc between two people).
Appreciation, respect, gratitude, and loyalty are extremely important in any healthy relationship. Which is why I have spent time writing about them at various points on the RPW (and other) subs. I try to find a balance between providing insight, while also maintaining a certain amount of 'distance' between our experiences as a couple and what gets shared on reddit.
I would also like to say that Occam does not startle, jolt, jump, scare, crumple, hesitate, or feel intimidated easily. He is perpetually calm, logical, and carefree. Everything is a puzzle to be solved, or a system that needs to be organized or re-arranged so that it can operate more efficiently. I am attentive, but he doesn't need (or even want) me to fret over him too much and without reason. If/When I have overlooked something, he won't hesitate to alert me so that the error can be corrected. Healthy relationships require constant maintenance and a thorough understanding of what the other person considers essential, absolute, and optional. Everything up to this point indicates that we have been working cohesively as a unit.