I like your comparison. I think it has merit. If a man doesn't balance his beta traits with his alpha traits, both caring for his wife when she's sick and taking no crap when when she's out of line, he'll go too far in either direction and be the asshat or the doormat. I do think the woman's situation can be a bit more precarious, though, because there's really only one thing your husband absolutely can't get somewhere else, if you want a faithful spouse.

As Jackie Burkhart once said: "The woman needs to be the cook in the kitchen, a maid in the living room and an acrobat in the bedroom... and I can hire a cook and a maid."

So I've just returned to this lifestyle after going in the opposite direction for several years. About 4 or 5 years ago I came across red pill theory after Rooshes parody of "a modest proposal" blew up on my social media feed and my feminist friends were signing petitions to skewer his balls. I read everything I could on the theory and I was absolutely hooked. But when searching for a forum for women there wasnt much out there. And what I was able to find seemed heavily heavily weighted towards moral purity and a moral obligation to be submissive. It was nothing like this incredible platform we have here today and women were being shamed for being anything less than the "madonna" so here I found myself trying to become not a better version of myself but an entirely different woman all together. At one point my husband who had no idea what I was even doing said "Taliahood, wtf are you doing? Stop being so submissive it's boring the hell out of me" I was so frustrated. I was doing everything right (in my opinion) and he called me boring? That and a number of other things completely derailed my efforts and I went back to my bitchy sarcastic critical self because at the very least that's not boring. But that wasnt working either. Here years later I'm returning to red pill because I know it's what is going to save my marriage and restore my husbands pride which ive stolen from him, and I am thrilled to see how much this community has developed. The other day I saw a post where a woman said "I'm just too opinionated" and another user told her that the goal wasnt to not have opinions and that having opinions was a good thing but in the end everything should be up to your man. This is what I didnt get before and I needed to read that. This time I'm finding much more balance in my relationship in recognizing that I need to stay genuine and not hold myself to an unrealistic standard. And I could even speculate that at times my husband likes to be faced with my inner bitch because it gives him reason to have to assert his dominance over me. But also I find a whole lot of balance in bring out my bad girl/whore in the bedroom. And escaping mommy and daddy roles of our day to day life by spending date nights at strip clubs is also massively helpful to to our marriage for a number of reasons.

But long story short, I totally see the parallel you're drawing even if it's kind of different.

Men will always lust after other women. Always. The reason for this is the male need for sexual variety. To seek out many sexual mates, not necessarily the highest quality mate.

When a man gets married, he gives up on actualization of this lust for variety but the lust itself is biological and will always remain. (Women in turn are supposed to give up their drive for hypergamy, but that's for another post).

Then there's love goggles, which is what happens when a man's provider/protector instincts are fully activated. He'll focus more and more of his sexual, emotional and other forms of energy at her and only her. He will be completely satisfied by her and her alone.

Not all women are capable of inspiring such utter devotion, but if you did manage to pull it off - please don't ruin it. Sexual rejection, nagging, criticizing, lack of respect, no more admiration etc etc etc will chip away at this utter devotion, causing death by a thousand wounds.

Even the most faithful, devoted husband will respond with lustful desire when presented with a desirable woman displaying desire to him. He may not act on it, but it'll certainly stir him because it's a biological response. Because men are hardwired to desire multiple women simultaneously, this desire does not diminish his desire for his wife.

Not so with the provider/protector instincts. These are highly focused. If these get directed elsewhere, your share will be diminished or eliminated. Unfortunately, sexual desire and the provider/protector instincts are often conflated in a similar way to how male and sexual imperatives are often conflated.

The Maddona/whore complex is the complete separation between the sexual desire and the provider/protector instincts. It occurs when it becomes one or the other instead of one and the other.

I thought you meant the singer Madonna so I was confused for a bit why you were separating her from the whore category haha.

You’re making the mistake of thinking you’re responsible for what men think and feel. Madonna/whore is about a man’s conflicting need to 1. respect and admire the mother of his children and 2. dominate his lover in the bedroom.

Some men cannot rectify the two which is where the syndrome comes in. She wants him to dominate her, but he can’t bear to see her this way. So he finds another whore to keep his wife on her pedestal - which obviously spirals into disaster.

I think it's very important for there to be a mix. There's no excuse for wanting other women while he's married. But men do want the lady in the streets slut in the sheets (only with him) so if you get a good husband you'll want to learn to make him crazy. All decent men would rather his wife be "the whore" with him instead of searching for other women.

The saying "Lady in the sheets, Freak between the sheets" exists for a reason. Be both.