I've been lurking here for a while, and I found the subreddit through another. As to how I came to identify with RPW, well, my husband. He'd proposed to me, and we were hashing out the logistics of what would be our married life. He made it clear to me that even from that moment, he considered us a family, and that he was the head of that family. He made it clear that yes, he'd talk to me and consult me on all decisions, but ultimately, he felt that if our relationship was going to work, the final say had to be his.

I will admit, I struggled with this like crazy. I was brought up in a feminist household. Told I didn't have to get married if I didn't want to, that no man should ever come first in my life, etc etc. I resisted my husband's desires, and wanted an "equal" relationship, where I "get" as much say as he does. Then he asked me if I trusted him. And I said that of course I did. I wouldn't want to marry him if I didn't. So if I trusted him enough to make a life with him, why didn't I trust him enough to make decisions for our mutual benefit?

The more I thought about it, the more I realized he was right. The more I looked back on my previous relationships and how they'd failed, the more I realized he was right. I'd been in relationships where "me" was more important than "us" or "him". They were ugly, and frankly, not at all what I wanted (I could relate to the Joy Luck Club clip someone posted a while ago!).

And now? Well, here I am... :)

I instinctively wanted this kind of relationship. I wanted to make my boyfriend feel good about himself and I have ALWAYS wanted to be a good cook for my eventual family and such things. Always thought sleeping with lots of guys makes you a whore. Always knew I want children eventually.

My previous long term relationship crashed and burned and I never wanted that experience again. So I had gotten into a relationship with a much older man and was looking for literature on that and on relationships in general that arent "equal" or whatever it was that I typed into google after some thought on what I wanted. I think I ended up on feminist websites and they were slamming Red Pill.

So naturally, I checked out Red Pill and realized that A) I failed with my ex because he never once would take charge and it turned me into the classic bitch, and B) that my current relationship is going so well because my man is naturally RP. I have since then applied even more RP to our relationship and its wonderful. We both have never met someone who is open to the type of relationship we have. We never have arguements, he never disappoints me, I never nag him nor do I want to, great sex, mutual trust and commitment, its all there. Im never going back, ever.

I always thought I accepted the "just be yourself" and "love yourself, you're perfect" lines, but I guess while other women had taken them to mean "you get a free pass to be completely selfish," I always just took them to mean "be genuine and confident." I noticed the crap lots of "empowered" women do, and it often irritated me. I had few female friends because I never wanted to listen to them hamster. I don't know exactly how I got to be that way but a few factors I think helped were that I have a good relationship with my father and we never had cable.

I found TRP and then RPW by stumbling into SRS somehow, and looking at their baddies list. Ever since I was old enough to be interested in guys, I was very open to trying to be the kind of girl they wanted. Before TRP though, I was going about it completely wrong; I was trying to be just one of the guys. But since I came from a mentality of trying to be appealing, once I found RPW it was easy for me to adjust to.

i wasnt a feminist and experienced reality

I already had Red Pill-like leanings. Years before I had read up on wifely submission both in kink and in "reality" and decided it was for us. But when my husband started reading Red Pill Room and I saw it over his shoulder I decided to investigate more. While he was at work I dug more into it than we had a conversation about how it encompassed what we had been thinking/feeling for a long long time- relationship hierarchy based in nature and reality vs. play/kink. The closest we had come was Taken In Hand but even that wasn't exactly jiving with us. What I loved the most was that it was honest about The Wall, desire, attraction, etc. Most places, especially the kink places, were all about how everyone is beautiful no matter what and if your husband disagrees he's a bastard, etc. I always respected a man more that would look at the weight and I gained and say "You're fat, you're unattractive, you can do better." But I value honesty. And reality.

I'm just rambling now but that's the gist of it.

Thanks for the responses so far, it's interesting to see the contrasts between how you've come to where you are. Are the downvotes in the thread just from trolls with nothing better to do or are there dissenting views that haven't been raised yet?

It was my boyfriend who introduced me to it, and helped me through it.

I'm not sure I ever "became" red pill... it was more something I already knew, both instinctively and through being raised in a fairly red pill manner (thanks parents!). It was then was put into words/theories and expanded upon when I discovered trp community.

My boyfriend introduced me to TRP about a month into our relationship (probably less). I spent a lot of time mulling it over, but I never invested much into the thought until late last month, which is when I started lurking the threads here after remembering I had a reddit profile to begin with.

So, yes, I'd attribute him as being my influence towards TRP, otherwise I'd still be an angry feminist.

Well, I was familiar with PUA from watching that hilarious reality show on MTV and reading Neil Strauss's book on the culture. As pathetic as I found the men to be intrinsically, not to mention the low-hanging fruit they were all pursuing, I did respect the "strategy" of it all.

I stumbled on TRP when I was skimming some feminist subreddits for inspiration on a paper I was writing (about antifeminism LOL). Without fail, there was at least one comment or post slamming TRP for being misogynist. I went straight over there and just started reading. Of course there were the bitter men, the players, and a few misogynists, but none of this shocked me because I was used to PUA and every group has its crazy fringe. Overall, I appreciated the honesty there. The men were angry because women weren't acting like women or allowing men to act like men. I agree and, to an extent, sympathized with their plight.

Then I found RPW and went to a Sephora-and-Nutella heaven (girliness is next to godliness). I was at the perfect point in my life for RPW to speak to me: transitioning away from manipulative and emotionally empty relationships with men and preparing myself for the grueling but rewarding work of actually being selective and only spending my time with men who valued me and demonstrated value to me in return. I love RPW because it seems so serene and sisterly here; we ask questions and we have debates but we ultimately all want each other to find a good man and treat him right so we both have a chance for maximum happiness. It seems way more pro-woman than any feminist forum I've ever been on, which has only been judgmental of my feelings about male-female dynamics and my pride in my pretty.

/sappiness

I come from a family where the women are very submissive to their husbands. I learned about Gorean philosophy pretty young and when I found the redpill subreddit, it was pretty similar in certain ways. My husband came from a feminist mother and was completely beta but had desires to be a more dominant man. I told him what I wanted to be and he instantly got into it, once he realized that he wasn't alone in these beliefs. Now we are a very fulfilled couple that incorporates gorean, redpill and domestic discipline into our relationship.