I just can't seem to calibrate it correctly. I meet the girl, hang out, try to keep it light, escalate and show that I am interested in sex. We fuck once, twice, then I get ultimatum that we should either date and go towards relationship or split. This happens everytime and it's getting frustrating tbh. Once a girl invited me to her place after night out, we took a shower together and lay naked in the bed - she was wet as hell but didn't want to have sex since she is not that type of girl - I tried to escalate multiple times but after two hours I got bored and left.
I tried:
- Telling very early that I am not looking for relationship - They get mad and fuck off.
- No contact for a week after sex - They get mad and fuck off.
- Nudge toward sex very early and keep nudging - They tell they are not that type of girl, they make me wait and wait so I just fuck off once we have sex.
- Cudle after sex and show appreciation for her - that just speeds up the "talk".
- Kiss and go home after sex - that also just speeds up the "talk".
I just can't find the balance for this. I don't know if I give away the LTR vibe, if I show too much or too little affection, if I go too deep in conversations or something else entirely. If I think I've shown too much affection and we are going toward texting more often I try to ease up on the contact, but it doesn't work since I think girl starts feeling like a whore in that situation and we get to the "talk". Keep in mind I am 35 and girls I date are in 25 - 35 range. I don't use apps, only approaching. I worked fucking hard on myself for the last 15 years and I am finally at the point in my life when I can pull some girls, so it is a pretty annoying situation for me.
Any tips for this, maybe some general direction or mindset that will help out both me and those girl to be clear and dandy?
[deleted] 2mo ago
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coolsocks00 2mo ago
Sounds like the obvious answer.
Women make rules for betas and break them for alphas. That's the general idea. If you have a solid sexual frame and she likes you a lot, she will put out. Most will put out at day one, even the ones that normally dont. Some desperately hold off for date 2, usually because they've been burned before, but if you want to, you can practically always hook up at the second date. If she doesnt want to at that point, she's not in it for you but for your provisioning.
I suspect you may project solid LTR value and less short term value. Then again, your sample size is probably smaller than you might think. Trying so many different things with a small sample size isnt the best idea.
Up your short term sexual value and calibrate as you go. You wanna emphasize having a great time with them always. It's very important to have a non-judgmental vibe towards sex.
Lastly, keep going back to the sidebar, top posts and books that cover your sticking points. You'll figure it out in no time.
Vermillion-Rx 2mo ago
I would post questions in the askTRP tribe. It gets more clicks and engagement. Not everyone subscribes to the "RedPillMe" tribe