I just can't seem to calibrate it correctly. I meet the girl, hang out, try to keep it light, escalate and show that I am interested in sex. We fuck once, twice, then I get ultimatum that we should either date and go towards relationship or split. This happens everytime and it's getting frustrating tbh. Once a girl invited me to her place after night out, we took a shower together and lay naked in the bed - she was wet as hell but didn't want to have sex since she is not that type of girl - I tried to escalate multiple times but after two hours I got bored and left.

I tried:

  • Telling very early that I am not looking for relationship - They get mad and fuck off.
  • No contact for a week after sex - They get mad and fuck off.
  • Nudge toward sex very early and keep nudging - They tell they are not that type of girl, they make me wait and wait so I just fuck off once we have sex.
  • Cudle after sex and show appreciation for her - that just speeds up the "talk".
  • Kiss and go home after sex - that also just speeds up the "talk".

I just can't find the balance for this. I don't know if I give away the LTR vibe, if I show too much or too little affection, if I go too deep in conversations or something else entirely. If I think I've shown too much affection and we are going toward texting more often I try to ease up on the contact, but it doesn't work since I think girl starts feeling like a whore in that situation and we get to the "talk". Keep in mind I am 35 and girls I date are in 25 - 35 range. I don't use apps, only approaching. I worked fucking hard on myself for the last 15 years and I am finally at the point in my life when I can pull some girls, so it is a pretty annoying situation for me.

Any tips for this, maybe some general direction or mindset that will help out both me and those girl to be clear and dandy?