New TRP, late 30s - I know ; what a silly man I have been but was a complete beta up to about 6 months ago. I am a social-being and for some reason lived as an introvert for about 10 years, slowly ebbing any form of masculinity, humor or belief out of myself - and thought I don't want to live like a pussy.
One of the first improvements I did was sort my posture and walk out. Basically push your back out, straighten your shoulders. Don't be afraid to be yourself too - if you have something in your rucksack and need it, take it out and do it with purpose. If you are lost don't be afraid to ask someone or scared to look 'lost'. So many men are trying to fake everything to try and save face. Ironically they think this makes them look secure and it projects the complete opposite.
Making slow, decisive decisions - make them and don't dwell on regrets or bad decision - you'll make a better one next time, move on. If you are jittery or nervy around people, start building up your confidence by talking to friendly strangers - you can often tell within seconds if a stranger is happy to talk or not - if its fear of women, start with unattractive or older people. Listen too. People love talking about themselves, some will talk for 10 minutes without ever asking you anything ; if they are a good soul and you enjoy listening to them , if you remain a friend, they'll love you forever. I know a mildly autistic 25 year old guy who I'll meet 4/5 times a year, the conversation is basically 90% him talking yet I'll state my views often disagreeing with him ; last few times he's introduced me to his friends as a '' total legend'' and ''a great guy".
I am not even thinking about women yet. I'm working on myself, but I am meeting women without even trying. Not much has changed, I've always exercised and ate reasonably well yet had next to no interest from women - I was too shy to even look at them mostly. I was too timid, and if a woman showed interest in me I became even more beta - basically then ending any desire she might have had for me.
I met a drunk horny Norwegian MILF last night, all I did was mostly listen to her talk without saying anything at all, she told me she loved to party, at one point she was basically rubbing up against me right in front of her clueless boyfriend who was talking to some other guy about fishing! Nothing happened, I got bored of her, sex with her would have been fun and before TRP, I would be mulling this over for days or asking myself when will I ever meet someone like that? White knighting an aging MILF due to my lack of belief in myself.
And today, I don't care. There will be more women - better, younger, more interesting ones. So if you are new on this road, don't beat yourself up about regrets or fucking up a plate.
I'm nowhere near finished, but I've start using two words : frame and slow.
FRAME : this so important. I find people are submissive, friendlier, more respectful to me when I hold frame. I try to avoid conflict, but have told 1 or 2 people to ''fuck off'' recently - one was about 130 pounds soaking wet ; the other a 60 year old beer bellied loudmouth. Just hold your frame. Be polite though and nice, it opens so many doors and people will do things for you. Being handsome must help a lot for getting favorable treatment ; but a well-dressed, impressive, articulate, polite man can crack open hearts too - whilst it surely helps having a pretty face ; its not the end of the world at all.
SLOW : slow everything down - speech, mannerisms, decision makings. Often I find meeting someone within 2 minutes you can get a pretty good assessment of most people's character - of course BPD, sociopaths and a select few might take longer. If you are an introvert, shy or just want to push new boundaries etc you don't need to do anything to get people to sit close or talk to you.
I've been going to cafes, bars, museums and so on recently, mostly alone and just look around at how nervous and anxious most people are. By being relaxed, calm, looking around with a neutral and content/happy with yourself demeanor - you'll 100% get people wanting to engage with you. Women will sit next to you, beside you or across from you and many will show IOIs even in front of their boyfriends. And all you have to do is sit and be content.
Last thing - longer than expected - but you'll find out who your real friends are if you make any form of self-improvement. A friend of mine who is overweight is trying to lose weight by shooting hoops by himself and a few beta 'friends' have basically just been laughing at him doing this "You're 38 years old man" said one. These people are unhappy in their lives, and you'll get shit tests from betas or fake alphas too - you'll win most of these but sometimes its fine to lose especially if its someone with a screw loose( to avoid something stupid from happening e.g getting in to a fight) and what do you care if some low IQ NCP thinks he's better than you for half a second!
I've seen women who were either indifferent to me or thought I was a cuck completely change their personality around me.
Abundance too. Easier said than done especially after decades of western media, movies, culture telling us a lie. A girl might look the dream girl to you, she has similar interests and so on ; but don't ever fall for someone on looks or a 2 min conversation - there's a huge chance she'll never live up to the hype of your mind either. Oh well, that's a pity but who's next? And move on.
Enjoy life. It's short. Too many people live mundane, boring lives. If you want that then hat's off to you and perfect, but if you are on TRP I'm guessing you are unhappy about something initially in your life. Do one thing you enjoy or something outside your comfort zone every day! If you are an introvert, start a conversation with someone, even if it fizzles out, NEXT.
This shit is legit.
slowlylearning1 8mo ago
I know no one has replied to this, but I'd like to add to this four months later.
Especially for those coming from a low self-esteem/anxiety angle to TRP.
At times I held back, I was too reserved or quiet for many years. I would put up with things I didn't like or couldn't be bothered with, I don't have too strong views on many things but I do have them (a bit each to their own in general) but I was the stereotypical orbiter for a long time. Speaking to cunty women or dickheads and just agreeing because I wanted to blend in etc. I've stopped doing this and something has changed.
The first steps are really hard. If you are shy, introverted or don't like making a scene. If you have low self-esteem, someone even looking at you with a mean face or saying a odd remark can take you down a few pegs. PUSH ON. Becoming bolder is often 3 steps forward half a step backwards when you start making these decisions. You'll have weeks of making great decisions ; flirting ; being on top of the world and then possibly two things don't go your way or someone makes a remark at or about you.
Brush off the remarks, the blowouts, and remember that is only one person's view. Think of all the smiles, friendly and great things you have achieved by being more outgoing. Read and learn about things ; be enthusiastic ; almost childlike curiosity at things even if you are 65 ; friendly/polite demeaner but stand your ground and don't talk too much unless it's someone you can see is engaged or you click with. Posture and solid, slow decisions. Treat everything you do with the goal of ''I'm going to fucking do this well,'' even just driving your car to work.
Focus. Keep pushing on. You will feel down, you will feel negative you might even meet two dickheads in one day. Every single interaction I've had with someone who has either made a smart arse remark or angry/mean, at the end of that day I've broken down the scenario and 90% of the team it was them. Start analyzing that person's demeanor, personality etc you will see more flaws in them and you'll realise we never really clicked or I doubt we will click. That's the way of the world ; just accept it and move on.
Women - its said often, but abundance. Its hard to get to abundance when you are at level -1 ; but if you do the time (strucutre, eat well, fitness, focus) you will get there. I think the thing that stops abundance is pedastaling - she's different ; she might be but she's a woman at the end of the day. Being rejected by oneitis is hard for many - you've put them up as this unicorn and you end up infatuated almost which makes you behave like an orbiter/weak and she'll run a mile due to this. Basically don't have crushes on people you don't know well ; and if you do have one, just go for it and don't get hurt if she rejects you. ANOTHER will be along. Trust me, I know it sounds a bit blow-hardy to stuff ; but you get your shit together, you will have options. Women will even come to you pretty much.
Anyone's who is not happy with their life or choices. Please start writing down what you don't like, what you want to do and start implementing changes in to your life to get there. I used to believe that good things only came to lucky people etc ; it's all nonsense. You put in the work at anything - career ; hobby ; dating it will pay off. There will be knockbacks though, the key is to disregard them. So what if a ''unicorn'' turned you down ; the next one is coming.
Let go of your ego too. We'll make mistakes, just move on and try and learn from them. Don't let them eat away in your brain. IDGAF to an extent.
The minute I became more confident, outspoken and assertive - well my life has changed dramatically. I no longer fear speaking to attractive women, I no longer pretend to be someone I had to be or should have been and I'm having fun as well.
The first steps are the hardest. If you are dealing with years of trauma, depression etc too. If you stay the course, you will make it!