Hold on, let me explain. A few years ago (I'm 21 now) I had many fears like i couldn't pass pedestrians on a sidewalk or ask the cashier where the hell the mayonnaise was. Luckily, I never stopped challenging myself and so I got to the point where I feel very comfortable with myself, my looks, etc. (and yes, I can now pass pedestrians without fear!!). I built up a good social circle and next to my normal dayjob I'm building my startup.
Now about women, it's really weird.. it's a fear of being rejected I can't quite get my head around. I don't think it's the normal fear of rejection and here is why (and please correct my if I just made up some excuse): First of all, when I go to the club with my friends and a women starts getting closer and wants to dance, my body blocks completely the feeling 'I'm lonely, you haven't touched a woman for four years, don't mess this up' and the fear of being left alone kicks in. You can imagine how well this went. And second, it's funny: when I get to know a woman (still only on a friendship level of course) and I can tell from her signals that she doesn't find me weird, hates me or leaves me then something switches and I can have a great time with them, no problem getting a negative reply on a question of getting a drink together, etc.
The thing is I had fear asking female friends to come to the spa or to get something to drink in the past. But this is now pretty much gone, I really don't care. If they want to come, great! and not I will get some other people or go alone, no problem in that. But again when it comes to foreign females I get this existential fear of being weird, of being rejected, etc.
I could let go of many fears by reading, by understanding that they come from my childhood as my father had an alcohol abuse or that I had to fit in in school to not get bullied (which didn't really work) and that i had to talk to my inner child to let these fears go. And it worked very well with most of my fears. But not this one. And I don't know how to go about this. I don't know what question I should ask my inner child to why this fear is so strong? In short I'm afraid of being left alone and not being accepted / rejected of foreign women (the funny thing is, it's only women and not men from which I have these fear).
Do you guys have any similar experience on this or have any suggestions?