Long time occasional lurker, need some perspective here.
A few months ago I entered an exclusive relationship with a girl who has recently begun withholding sex. I admittedly developed a case of oneitis with this chick - the sex was incredible and frequent initially. I'd often pull her ass out in the middle of the night and fuck her brains out before falling back asleep and she didn't have an problem with it. And I genuinely liked the girl. Checked all the boxes for me. Fast forward to now and we're spending basically every night together and I become delusional, thinking she might be a good long term fit for me. Monday morning I hop out of the shower, get back in bed to grab her ass and enjoy a morning fuck before work, and she pushes my hand away. I don't think anything of it - it's the first time it's happened so whatever. Later that night, I try again. Same thing. I try not to make a big deal of it, but turn over and go to bed (perceivably a bit frustrated, in hindsight). A few days pass and a couple more sexual advances turned down, and she finally confronts me. "Are you mad at me?" I tell her no, not at all, I want sex but I don't need it. She explains her head is in a weird place because of some stuff going on with her career that I won't get into, and also because of the fact she's being forced to give her dog up for adoption (I'll spare the details but it's possible they're legitimate reasons). She also says she wants to not have sex for a while because lately she feels like that's all I want her for. Sucks because I've kept plenty of girls around in the past solely for sex, but in this situation I actually like the girl. At this point I'm a little frustrated. Trying to dread game a bit but keep getting accused of being mad at her. Tempted to next her, but I also want to entertain the possibility that she's just going through something and it will pass. For now I'm just withdrawing attention somewhat and keeping to myself. Might be a good exercise in self control, I dunno. Thoughts?
Dickvonpoundatsnatch 2y ago
If you let them stop fucking, they will never start again. This is actually part of a Shit-Test women do unconsciously. They feel out how often they have to have sex with you to satisfy you and keep you around. Whatever you tolerate is how often you'll get laid forever.
YourOwnDisaster 2y ago
Your time and energy are the only things of value that you have to offer someone.
Read that again.
Take them away from someone that expects it unconditionally when you're tired of being fucked over and see how they respond.
You can try a whole lot here. Check out Rian Stone's YouTube vids, he does the LTR thing. Anytime she denies you sex, for any reason, just leave. Go to the gym, go to the store for an hour, shut up, smile and leave. Come back with a smile and fog.
Start spending less time with her and more time doing things for yourself. If you're truly tired of not getting laid, hit the next button.
KirthWGersen 2y ago
"A few months ago I entered an exclusive relationship with a girl."
This is the root cause of your problem. An exclusive relationship means you are 100% dependent on her for sex. You have now handed her the most powerful relationship weapon she can have.
"Trying to dread game a bit but keep getting accused of being mad at her." You are half-arsing the dread. You care about her accusations and they affect you emotionally. Your feelings are dependent on her feelings. She has you wrapped around her little finger. Every relationship has an element of a power battle and you are totally losing this one. Don't half-ass the dread. Stop seeing her every day. Maybe stop seeing her for several days or weeks. Go and do other things you enjoy more than being around an unresponsive woman. She has to feel that she will lose you if her behaviour does not improve. Give her the gift of missing you and allow desire to spring back. If she wanted you enough, she would put her problems to one side to make sure she would not lose you and the only way that will happen is if she sees she is starting to lose you. When you think about it, that is actually better for both her and you: her desire for you would put her other problems in perspective.
I know it is not for everyone, but I keep all my relationships non-exclusive so this scenario never happens to me. That feeling of not owning you and needing to keep herself in your good books encourages good behaviour. Your set-up is killing her desire.
whytehorse2021 2y ago
OK, let me tie all these other comments together and send you off with a crystal clear understanding. In an LTR, you have to satisfy both sides of hypergamy. The alpha fucks and the beta bucks. When you lose frame, you stop being alpha and go 100% beta, and the woman loses all attraction to you. This is usually due to oneitis, which is usually due to going exclusive.
You have to re-establish frame by going alpha. This means going to the gym and getting buff, working on your self, being a little selfish, taking a dominant role in the relationship. This will bring back her attraction and she'll have sex with you again. Go search youtube for "rollo ovulatory shift". This will teach you how to time alpha/beta stuff according to when she's in that ovulatory stage.
I hope you've learned your lesson on going exclusive. You hand all the power in the relationship to the woman and they ALWAYS abuse it. Next thing you know she'll be getting fat and bossing you around like her little bitch. Get your alpha game going strong, get her attraction back, then apply dread game right before you have the talk about staying non-exclusive forever but in a committed relationship. If she won't agree to that, she is just using you and doesn't really like you. Leave her and find a woman who likes you.