My brother is 27 and I’m 24. We never got along because he is just genuinely a dick, even to his wife, but his wife just kind of drops it whenever he’s being a dick.

Whenever he gets an attitude with me, I will defend my position because I’m not going to let him push me around, and that’s how it’s always been, but it does get to me because my family will always act as though his demeanor shouldn’t be addressed since he’s so temperamental. He’s one of those people that, whether correct or incorrect (usually incorrect), will get an attitude and talk down to anyone who says anything he doesn’t agree with, IF he is close with that person. It seems like he only does it with immediate family, including his wife. So I find myself having to argue with him a lot because not only is he usually wrong, but there’s also no reason to be a dick when someone says something in a casual conversation that you don’t agree with. Example: Me: If you overpay on your water bill, it will build a credit and the overpayment will be applied towards your next bill. Him: YOU THINK THE COUNTY IS KEEPING YOUR BEST INTEREST AT HEART? HOW MANY TIMES HAS THE COUNTY EVER GIVEN A SHIT ABOUT ANYONE!?!?!?

So even when I’m correct, he puts me in a defensive position. My mom, dad, and sister in law all kind of just let it go when he does this to me, which is also frequently. I don’t because that’s bullshit.

He has turned simple conversations where he’s wrong into personal attacks once I defend my position. Many times, he has said I have no friends and he’s called me a faggot before, as an adult. I guess as a kid, this is normal, but as I got older I concluded that he’s a shit person and not a good friend.

Yesterday, I said we needed to test a repair in a certain way to account for different conditions, and he wanted to test it another way and asked me for information. I said we still needed to test it the way I said, and he got mad and started getting angrily going on about why we need to test it the way he wanted to test it. This was a misunderstanding at the beginning, since he ignored my suggestion and I wanted to verify that we were going to be testing it the other way, but since he was throwing a fit I cut him off by talking over him and giving him the info he wanted. He said “don’t give me that fucking attitude” and I said “what about your attitude?” And he starts going on about how I’m rude and I said he was rude and that he didn’t realize how he came across when no one is being rude to him, and he tells me I have no friends and that no one likes me. At this point I’m seriously done with him forever. Years ago, I had cut him off for about two years after he said I had no friends and that I’m a faggot, and he expressed sadness over that to my dad. I forgave him a while later and started talking to him, despite never getting an apology or an admission of guilt from him.

What I’m wondering is whether or not I should hangout with him around my mom, since she’s going through a divorce with my dad and all of us have been hanging out with her and going kayaking. It’s going to suck for my mom I guess but I’m thinking I won’t ever spend time with him again after this.