This is intended as a placeholder - but feel free to join and do tribal stuff! I'm u/goodmod on r/MensRights.
Posted 3y ago in Activism/Support - Permalink - Locked - 8.7K Views
Created By MenAreFine
This is intended as a placeholder - but feel free to join and do tribal stuff! I'm u/goodmod on r/MensRights.
HCEandALP4ever 3y ago
Hey, u/miss_chaos, I'm a bit late to the party, so I'm not sure how you're feeling about how you've been treated here. I just wanted to say that for my part, I think you're doing fine. I'm glad you're here, and thank you for your contributions.
miss_chaos 3y ago
Thank you so much!! I really appreciate that. Everyone's nice for the most part, and the angry and mean people are just that.
avinashlego 3y ago
If you guys want a great father's day movie to see with your kids, I highly recommend Guardians of the Galaxy 2. On the surface it's a pretty generic popcorn flick with some fun action/comedy but the movie's ending is so touching and really drives home just how far a father will go for their child. Really appreciate James Gunn for tackling the subject of celebrating your father in such a mainstream movie because we don't see it nearly enough in entertainment/Hollywood.
Secariel 3y ago
Gifted is another good one.
boxsterguy 3y ago
Also Onward.
theeduardocool 3y ago
That’s the reason Guardians of the Galaxy 2 is my favorite mcu movie. It’s just so emotional and it shows how dads really try their best with the tools they’re handled with.
avinashlego 3y ago
my favorite too :)
NohoTwoPointOh 3y ago
Life is Beautiful would be another.
nessfkrz 3y ago
I would have to agree moreso with Life is Beautiful. Guardians 2 is great and has a dynamic cast and all, but it is nowhere near the level of LiB. LiB has the most intense themes of loving through hardship in any movie I've ever seen.
illegalAmericano 3y ago
add The Pursuit of Happyness (2006) to that list.
PrimeWolf88 3y ago
My dad enjoyed Human Centipede
NohoTwoPointOh 3y ago
If Life is Beautiful is the gold medal of a father enduring hard shit with his son, The Pursuit of Happiness is silver.
Honorable mention to The Road--both the movie and the book.
illegalAmericano 3y ago
Yeah!!! The Road is a great one too.
Now that i remember, i would like to submit A Better Life (2011) to that list. Its another great one about the sacrifices a father makes to build (as the title suggests) a better life for him and his rebellious teenage son. A huge wrench gets thrown into the protagonists way that brings him & his son closer. Together they tackle the obstacle that life has put in front of them. Fasten your seatbelts & have tissues ready because this film takes you on a emotional roller coaster
NohoTwoPointOh 3y ago
Never saw it. I'll add that to the list! Cheers!
FlaggedAss 3y ago
Time to celebrate my father. June 21st, I won’t forget.
Hothotoro 3y ago
I was scrolling through IG stories and saw this one girl post "Happy Father's Day" on the 14th and I got a mini panic attack because I forgot to greet my dad lol
Bodonnabhain 3y ago
I agree
FrankSavage420 3y ago
Have you made your construction paper cutout card for him yet?
FlaggedAss 3y ago
Well what else would I do, use real paper?
FrankSavage420 3y ago
Only if you’re a bad son
UniCodere 3y ago
To be fair, people did shit on mothers Day with father's day shit, so if they do it's kinda revenge
[deleted] 3y ago
[deleted]
UniCodere 3y ago
Flex seal lmfao, they shouted out single dads on mothers day (WHICH ISNT A BAD THING), this post implies that single mothers shouldn't have the right to complain on Father's Day too
CrunchyJeans 3y ago
Anyone know of a good place or site to get detailed model cars? The ones about the size of a computer mouse? I’m trying to get my dad a car gift he’ll love
PNWDMD 3y ago
Won’t happen
Iamnotelephant 3y ago
Yeah, I'm not holding my breath.
Nevok_The_Hollowed 3y ago
I got banned from r/feminism debating about men's day cause a feminist was complaining about it. If my memory wasnt so shit I'd actually rememeber completely what they said
AkashUK 3y ago
Nearly forgot about that. Sorry dad.
skgody 3y ago
I am sure not all women are the same but some women turn into monsters as soon as they get pregnant and some turn into monsters after they give birth.
miss_chaos 3y ago
I believe it! I've seen it first hand. I don't understand it . Some turn into monsters once they get a ring.
skgody 3y ago
It’s funny that they blame the male when he runs away.
NohoTwoPointOh 3y ago
They were monsters all along. Just sociopathically wonderful at hiding their true colors.
miss_chaos 3y ago
I believe it!!
gjoel 3y ago
A Danish blog asked people on twitter to write about their crap fathers for father's day. Apparently a lot of people with bad fathers have a hard time on fathers day, and the days leading up to it (due to ads), and need to let out steam. A lot of people were grateful for the chance to get it out.
They did the same on mother's day.
miss_chaos 3y ago
That's such a great idea!!!! It's nice to be considered like that. Both days are tough, possibly for all parties involved.
Grave_Heresy 3y ago
Don't count on it!!!
Dad = Disposable provider.
Dystopianlost 3y ago
Please ladies. A single day of celebration. Lena Dunham: this means you and all of your man-hating friends.
miss_chaos 3y ago
bopbeepboopbeepbop 3y ago
Also Lena Dunham: rapes sister
ivanoud 3y ago
Whoa she's still around?
Enfield13 3y ago
I love fathers day I love when people make shitty comments on FB, always good for a laugh.
MeMuchoGrandePene 3y ago
i just noticed my family has events on mothers day but not fathers day...wtf sexist family
miss_chaos 3y ago
Start a new tradition!
SOwED 3y ago
Wtf this post made me think I missed father's day
Ihavenopurposeinlif3 3y ago
I love to commit arson
Bigbog54 3y ago
This.
Silentpoolman 3y ago
I'm a single man with no children. Why don't I get celebrated on Father's Day?
miss_chaos 3y ago
You have to ask Santa that.
GeRyIsTheMan 3y ago
You have international men’s day
antilopes 3y ago
You may if you provide a father role to children around you. There's plenty of kids who lack a father figure, it doesn't take much to make a difference sometimes.
NohoTwoPointOh 3y ago
Because you aren't a father. The same reason that I don't get celebrated on Mother's Day.
If you would like to start Pool Man Day though, I'll sign the papers.
Silentpoolman 3y ago
Bigot
NohoTwoPointOh 3y ago
Fine.
Silent Pool Man Day.
We'll even have piñatas, cake, and whiskey.
Silentpoolman 3y ago
You're evil.
MrDoggo7 3y ago
I’m new to social media in general, do people seriously rant about Father’s Day on Father’s Day?
miss_chaos 3y ago
Yes. Some are long and heartfelt words, some are super dramatic, some are just straight up man bashing.
Help_understanding 3y ago
Your straight up female bashing post is ok though?
Unsuitablemasta 3y ago
Its a female dumbass
Help_understanding 3y ago
Ahhh, so only men can female bash, got it!
Unsuitablemasta 3y ago
Less to no bias
bearforever 3y ago
in my country (israel) we don't even have father's day,
we have family day instead
miss_chaos 3y ago
I love that!
swallowingbatteries 3y ago
Amen!
RickWest495 3y ago
Why do man hating women try to take away Father’s Day when all hell would break loose if men tried to take away Mother’s Day. All sexes deserve equal respect. And if you eliminate one, society ends.
miss_chaos 3y ago
YES
Heterodynist 3y ago
Thank you!!! This needs to be said. Can we have one day to honor GOOD fathers before getting back to the other 364 days of talking about everything evil about men and fathers?!
jakonr43 3y ago
FaThErS dAy TaKeS aWaY fRoM sInGlE mOtHeRs
Freezeonaut 3y ago
What's hilarious is that exact same argument could be applied to Mother's Day and how it maybe could take away from single dads. Misandrists are morons.
jynx2424 3y ago
Also celebrate the gay uncles raising their nieces and nephews.
miss_chaos 3y ago
Absolutely!!
hmspain 3y ago
So separate out the "deadbeats" and honor the ones that pay on time?
v573v 3y ago
How about we separate those who wanted kids from those who just wanted sex and stop pretending that they are the same?
NohoTwoPointOh 3y ago
Of course, this assumes that child support is a just, fair system. It is neither.
It also assumes that a father who cannot pay unfair and unjust amounts is a "deadbeat". Many are not.
It also reduces fathers to a wallet and reinforces the "men are only ATMs". We are not.
McDeez-Nuts 3y ago
Amen brother. I'm living it.
tippytoes2020 3y ago
as a percentage, more women than men that are ordered to pay don’t; to be sure, very few women are ordered to pay
NinjaDingo 3y ago
Couldn't have said it better myself, awesome post.
skgody 3y ago
There is no child support. It’s mummy support and is a form of slavery to men.
NohoTwoPointOh 3y ago
And given the statistics, it basically subsidizes poor decisions that destroy families and create devastating outcomes for the children.
This is particularly curious when the same peer-reviewed studies and stats show that in non-marital relationships, men and women end relationships at almost exactly the same rate. However, when there's cash and prizes at the end of weaponized and misandrist family courts, women initiate divorce up to 90%.
To top it off? In America, child support has fuck-all to do with "the best interests of the child". It is a cash grab for the states and a welfare recovery program.
Oh, and one of the basic tenets of human rights, the eradication of debtor's prisons, does not apply in the USA. As you say, this horribly corrupt system is truly a form of slavery to men--all in the name of greed on the part of state governments and a certain large group of misandrist feminists.
skgody 3y ago
There is an entire parasitic group of people who are living off this situation. Lawyers. Police. Women’s refuge, prisons, contact supervisors, child protection services, Courts, judges, politicians, victims advocate services. Parole and probation services, and the list goes on.
DarkStar0129 3y ago
Father's day is an overwhelming experience for me. Like, I grew up without caring about father's day as I didn't have a father at home (courtesy of my mother), now that I'm living with my father and this is the first father's day in witnessing with him, I'm lost about what I can do.
bsthil 3y ago
Tradition in my house is to get me a wierd gift and figure out something to do together, generally as a family. We usually go to the local game preserve, but it's closed to the public this year.
janey_canuck 3y ago
Well, first off, tell him that: that this is an overwhelming experience for you. I'd bet it is for him too. Ask him if it is for him too; give him a chance to talk about it if he wants. If you're finally living with him after years of, I can only assume, lies and bad-mouthing by your mother(?) tell him that this is an important occasion, that you're not sure what to do, but you wanted to mark the occasion.
Secondly, you can apologize to him for the years of not "caring about father's day as I didn't have a father at home". Not 'it's my fault'-apologize, more 'I'm so sorry you've been hurt like that all these years - I never realized'-apologize). If he's not the type to want to make a big deal out of it or it will make him uncomfortable don't belabour it, just say it and move on. But say it like it's important, cause it is. He'll register it and it will stick in his memory as an important moment.
He'll know about the financial difficulties; I very much doubt he's looking for you to shower him with expensive gifts. He probably wants your love and appreciation. And your loyalty.
As others have said on here, ask him about himself, about his family history, about what's important to him in the world. If he's not used to that, then even just putting out that you want to know about it, and you have the rest of your lives to make up for lost time will let him work up to that slowly.
Don't get caught up and paralyzed by expectations. This is new for both of you, so you get to make up new 'traditions'. You can make it fun, make it meaningful, make it light-hearted, make it serious, make it all of those things if you want. Depending on his character, you can 'gift' him a sh*tload of IOUs: fun ones, silly ones, serious ones. Whatever you think might make him laugh, or make him feel appreciated. Ones that let him know your feelings and intentions.
Just make sure to let him know that he's special to you. The two of you will work out how to navigate the rest of it.
DarkStar0129 3y ago
This sums up everything. Thank you so much!!!
I literally don't have the words to thank you!!!
janey_canuck 3y ago
You don't have enough words, I have too many. :)
I'm so glad that helped. I hope you both have a wonderful time, and many more in the years ahead.
Nilraven 3y ago
How about spending time with him? Take some activity you can do with the both of you, bond a bit deeper than you usually would.
DarkStar0129 3y ago
Not usually possible due to his tight with schedule, but I'll try.
petrol_sexual 3y ago
Get up early enough to cook him breakfast? I know that would make my day.
DarkStar0129 3y ago
Uhhh cooking isn't gonna with actually. My household is quite particular with their schedule. My granny cooks breakfast. My dad wouldn't want to eat some new first I made when he wakes up. He'd enjoy that in the evening. I'll see of something I can cook.
gamessuck00 3y ago
Get him a card and a gift, we like that
DarkStar0129 3y ago
That's the hard part due to quarantine. My pockets are dry, and I can't go and buy anything right now.
Cyb3rd31ic_Citiz3n 3y ago
That's okay, firstly make sure you tell him Happy Father's day. Perhaps ask him about any happy memories he has of his father? Learn a bit about the family history. Men don't get to tell their stories often so he may like that. Also, you could try cooking dinner for the day. Perhaps plan a walk you two could d go on? Do something simple but take a photo of you two together so you can share in the memory. Promise the next year will be as good if not better. Tell him you love him (if it's applicable)
DarkStar0129 3y ago
Uhhh we don't have that sort of relationship with him, calling him 'dad' our a synonym is awkward to me. All of this will 100% be akward for him too. I'll have to think of something myself I guess.
Dystopianlost 3y ago
Bro you're asking for help and there are some really good suggestions here! One thing you can do is just write him a quick note saying, "Happy Fathers Day, thanks for all your help!!" Ok take care bro, good luck!
DarkStar0129 3y ago
Yeah some of them have given me insight about what I have to do, and they'll help for sure. Thanks for the wishes!
jaw0012 3y ago
I would start by asking him today "Dad, I want to do something with you on Father's Day. Is there something that you would like to do that we could do together?"
He already knows the financial situation. And I'll bet he comes up with something that you might not have thought of. A long walk, a card game, cook dinner together.
But you said that you don't call him Dad. I'm don't know him or your situation, but based on some past personal experience I'll bet that you using that word with him may be the best thing you can do for Father's Day.
gamessuck00 3y ago
Get him an E-card and maybe an old picture?
DarkStar0129 3y ago
He's not the type to really think of E cards as a gift. I'm 80% sure that he's never recieved one from family.
petrol_sexual 3y ago
Yeah, e cards are completely lost on me. I'd rather a text message. At least that way you're not paying for it.
rehl25 3y ago
Get him the smallest unit of of his favorite beverage that you can afford, then spend the day with him. Off of your phones. The beverage will be a gesture, the day, the present. I'm this vague, cause my father loves Chinese spicy soup, but he has no Chinese restaurants where he lives, so I'm gifting him some. So not necessarily alcohol, just something to hand him, that he likes.
DarkStar0129 3y ago
Yeah, that's probably what I'll do, minus the beverage, cause his favourite beverage is alcohol lol (and it's illegal where I am).
Dug_Fin1 3y ago
Doesn't have to be his favorite alcoholic beverage, my dad was a huge fan of a very spicy ginger ale (Blenheim I believe) we got him some of that when we could.
miss_chaos 3y ago
How is your relationship with him now that you're there with him?
DarkStar0129 3y ago
It's pretty good, over the past year, we've bonded quite a lot. I'm living a 10x better, happier and satisfying life than I was with my mother. Even though I was in a 'big city' with my mother where we got McDonald's wherever we wanted or had a stable Wifi or other stuff, but live in a village on the country side with my father, where there's no fast food joints in a 150km radius and shitty internet.
miss_chaos 3y ago
That's great!! I'm sure conditions aren't so ideal, but in the long run it sounds like you're happy! That's really great.
DarkStar0129 3y ago
Yeah, we have our moments but we're making it work, no, absolutely crushing it!
miss_chaos 3y ago
That's really awesome!! I wouldn't worry about buying a card or anything for him. Is there something you two can do together? Do you fish? Work on a puzzle or something maybe? I never really had a father...he was there, physically, but drunk and violent, so I wouldn't even know where to begin to suggest anything.
DarkStar0129 3y ago
That's absolutely fine! We have a snarky sense of humor, so I might pull a prank on him. He hasn't witnessed any father's day, so it's very possible that he doesn't even know about it.
miss_chaos 3y ago
Maybe this is a chance to give him a father's day experience?
HopliteGFX 3y ago
I don't need a damn day. I'm a father 365 days a year. Let them be petty af. Don't stoop to their level.
NohoTwoPointOh 3y ago
Unfortunately, that approach hasn't worked out well. It has led to judges, courts, and politicians stripping away actual rights all the way to the Constitutional level.
miss_chaos 3y ago
MiguelCae 3y ago
What day is it going to be?
FlaggedAss 3y ago
(To be honest I forgot about when Father’s Day and Mother’s Day were, but Siri helped me)
miss_chaos 3y ago
Same. This picture came up in my Facebook memories.
benderXX 3y ago
Or simply say —Fuck off. Don’t beg for what already belongs to you! As silly as this day is dads don’t permission to celebrate.
PurpleBanner 3y ago
Posted on my FB page.
v4nk4 3y ago
You are being a bit too nice and considerate with this
ripyourlungsdave 3y ago
No need to sink to their level. Better to just show them how to not be petty and vidictive.
jjusedtobeonice 3y ago
just like with mother's day
Cyb3rd31ic_Citiz3n 3y ago
Beautiful. Going to slap this up on the day and save the comments for future evidence/use depending in how things swing.
sanrio-sugarplum 3y ago
I totally agree with the sentiment but you're not going to get through to anyone with this "sit down, this is our day" approach. It's better to just ignore the man-haters; they're a small minority anyway and people only acknowledge them because of how obnoxious they are.
Help_understanding 3y ago
Can I get help understanding what the point of this is? Have any fathers on here been personally attacked only on father's day?
GeRyIsTheMan 3y ago
Yes, feminists have repeatedly tried to remove it as a holiday because they deem it as sexist.
Help_understanding 3y ago
Who was personally attacked? There's a movement for everything these days...
feminismIsHateOfMen 3y ago
"celebrate the good fathers out there"
"So the good ones can be celebrated" ?????
Mother's Day makes no distinction though. So you imply that all mothers deserve to be celebrated and only some fathers deserve to be celebrated. That is extremely sexist and discriminatory. You're playing the game of feminism by demonizing men. This post should be more like a feminist subreddit.
Fuck off.
anarion99 3y ago
Btw she wasn't implying that all mothers are good. Good and bad mothers wasnt the focus of the post. The focus was telling women to stop focusing on the bad fathers( which exist, same as bad mothers) and let the good fathers have their day in the sun. Dont scare off a well intentioned woman.
JamiJim 3y ago
Yeah seriously I read this and was like, “Damn feminism is still apparent even in a father’s day post on a mens rights sub” like shit man even the mens rights people hate men
miss_chaos 3y ago
I meant this to celebrate dads and fathers, I didn't mean for it to offend. I don't like that good fathers get overlooked.
There sure are deadbeat mothers that don't deserve an ounce of credit they're given.
I honestly didn't mean for this to be offensive at all
feminismIsHateOfMen 3y ago
I understand that, however you have to stop being so lax with yourself and others. Good will is nothing if actions have bad consequences.
CertainCrow1 3y ago
I think his point was the double standard. Nobody picks apart bad mother's on mother's Day... But in Father's day women will choose to make it about them being a single mom or why certain dada aren't worthy etc. But yeah inheard you last line should just be so dad's can have their day and be celebrated or something
janey_canuck 3y ago
Well, that's starting to change in the last few years. I'm hearing a lot more now about bad mothers on Mother's Day, from both men and women, where that used to be absolutely verboten. But it's still not anything like you'd hear on Father's Day, and have been hearing for decades.
No doubt there is a massive double standard. And your point about the OP's last line is completely valid. The default should be the same either way: either we're celebrating good mothers and good fathers on their respective days, or we're just celebrating mothers and fathers full stop.
Sophisticated_Sloth 3y ago
God you sound like a feminist. It’s so insane that you’re not even hearing this yourself.
miss_chaos 3y ago
I'm personally not lax, but I understand what you're saying and I'm sorry.
Sophisticated_Sloth 3y ago
You really shouldn’t apologise. You’ve done nothing wrong, friend.
miss_chaos 3y ago
Thank you so much!
anarion99 3y ago
You dont need to apologize. I see it as a difference of opinion. And the reality we live. There are way more vocal, vindictive women then there are men. Hence the discrepancy. Just how it is.
miss_chaos 3y ago
You're absolutely right about that and it's terrible.
Dystopianlost 3y ago
Miss chaos, thank you for this post. You are a good person.
miss_chaos 3y ago
Thank you so much!
avinashlego 3y ago
same from me, thanks so much for this post. I understand the sentiment of the commenter who felt this was a feminist image but I understand it wasn't your intention at all. thanks again :)
miss_chaos 3y ago
[deleted] 3y ago
[deleted]
denis6566 3y ago
My god
[deleted] 3y ago
This post is an outrage to women. no one is stopping anyone celebrating father's day? do you think single mums are trying to steal father's day cards?
if you want to celebrate it fine. mothers and fathers day are both self-congratulating people. the baby never asked to be born and yet we have to give mothers and fathers a 'special' day? and yes im a parent i think its stupid for celebrating a day that the parent caused. i have a great life but what if someone's child has a shit life like gets cancer or goes blind? do they still have to give their parents a card for all the suffering they are going through and all the suffering they will have to go through before their inevitable death that comes with 2 people breeding?
also many men coerse women in to getting abortions or they rape their children so this post is an insult to those women. single mums get to celebrate father's day if they so choose to and you shouldn't be saying they should feel guility for stealing the day and yes I have an amazing dad and step-dad.
miss_chaos 3y ago
This is not the post for all of that.
thepopperguy 3y ago
God I wish I could've seen their username so I could see some other bullshit
assassinator1014 3y ago
Many men rape their children and coerce abortion... yeah imma need to see those stats
NohoTwoPointOh 3y ago
That poster would shit bricks and snort apple juice at some of the other stats.
antilopes 3y ago
A very tiny percentage of men rape their pre-pubescent children. After puberty the % shoots up for girls but is still a small percentage, far less than men who rape adult women.
I don't know about coerced abortion.