I was falsely accused of rape by my ex during high school. She spread false rumors, and no police report was ever filed. Everything seemed fine because everyone knew her lies were outrageous, and only a few people ever mentioned it to me. It wasn't until after graduating that I start seeing the real effects of false accusations.
- While waiting for the bus, a girl from my high school recognized me and starting screaming "rapist". A few random guys nearby started to stare at me with anger. While yelling back at her and denying it, a larger guy grabbed me from behind and was positioning to throw me into incoming traffic. Luckily bystanders read the situation, and yelled at the guy to let me go.
- Another time in the bus (public), an ex schoolmate yelled rapist at me, etc. I argued with him and it was about to get physical. We were ready to fight and got more aggressive. He eventually backed down, maybe because he knew I had some mma training since high school. He apologized, but I could feel the awkward silence and stares at me for the whole ride.
- I was dating a girl (not from my neighborhood) for a few weeks until she somehow found out about these accusations. While talking about it at a park, I calmly explained to her it was completely untrue. She didn't care, and went hysterical. She went around shouting rapist to everyone nearby. A couple of guys nearby tried to attack me. I have some mma training so was able defend myself for a few seconds. Fortunately for me, cops were nearby and the attackers stopped. Later on, I found out that another guy pulled out a knife.
There were a few other incidents too. It was always with ex schoolmates who had no problem with me during high school, but had a change of heart after graduation? I finally have enough savings to move away from my town. I'm just worried that the rumors will somehow spread to wherever I go. My mma training saved me a little in situation 3 and 2, but I'm still a small guy. If it weren't for the bystanders or cops in situation 1 or 3, it could have ended very bad for me. Any advice on how to handle those situations in the future? Thanks
itcompter 3y ago
Thanks for the advice guys. Lots of good ideas. I'm definitely going to handle this legally, talk to the police, take this to court.
As for dealing with white knights, I'm going to move in a few months so hopefully nothing happens in the meanwhile or after. Unfortunately I can't carry a handgun now under state laws, but I'm going to try other type of (legal) weapons. I just have to be on guard and prepared whenever I go out.
n4l11n 3y ago
Happened to me but in a different situation.
Made a comment about breasts to a friend as a joke. Shit I regret it so much .Im 14 and i made the comment when i was 13. Lost all my friends, was CANCELLED by everyone in my year group. Called a rapist and padeophile when the girl is older than me. This shit happened daily for three months and when i tried explaining to teachers they gave me a suspension for 3 days, it wasnt that bad as I'd take that than go to school. I eventually moved school and even now ppl ask me in this school but i just play it down saying i dont know what they mean. I'd bunk lessons and assemblies and i hated going out cos of the the fear that some1 would call me that again. truly a harrowing experience and one of the reasons I dont trust people, especially females again.
I understand your pain brother, noone deserves this shit .
God bless
itcompter 3y ago
That's messed up. Hang in there, you'll beat this
jacksleepshere 3y ago
If there is any form of toxic masculinity, it comes in the form of being a white knight.
Lily-in-the-Valley 3y ago
I suggest you to have a proper talk with police officers in your local police station. Explain to them exactly what happened at school (falsely accused) and how many attacks you have received so far from people etc. They can work something out for you so next time they can intervene quicker and also already know your story. Maybe ask them if you can press charges on the girl too for defamation? You must take action now to protect your reputation, for your future jobs especially.
Lethn 3y ago
I think this is in the past unfortunately if the rumours do spread and these scumbags follow him he should absolutely get a lawyer and start suing big time. I would have done it the moment the lying started though especially with the ex suddenly deciding it was okay to go hysterical and attack his reputation like that.
Lily-in-the-Valley 3y ago
100%. I would have contacted a lawyer or got some legal advice. There are free legal advice services out there somewhere too.
perplexedm 3y ago
Toxic white knights are the reason why world is in this pathetic state of affairs.
MyDarkSideOfTheMoon 3y ago
Point back at them and yell "pedophile" or something. This will at least confuse the bystanders enough not to intervene.
itcompter 3y ago
Good stuff. I'm socially awkward and small though, so I tend to lose screaming matches. Not sure if this would backfire at me
Levantine14 3y ago
Carry a gun.
4437855 3y ago
You need to move. Your training doesn't matter because this has to do with peace of mind.
If you absolutely can't move, consult with a lawyer and have him/her notify the PD. Start threatening litigation against the false accuser if you can, and also those pathetic white knights. Most cowards back down, especially when there could be a loss of income.
throwlaja 3y ago
This is what happened to me:
I was falsely accused of stalking a girl. Then people start calling me a rapist because hey, it's the same thing right?. Girl actually sued me, and lost, she was certifiably insane. Meanwhile I lost jobs, girlfriend, friends, the usual. But I recovered.
Then she started to cry on social networks because I was about to destroy her legally, and his history was heard by a white knight (son of a oil magnate, kid you not). So this kid has A LOT of money, and so he would make "justice" by harassing me, and also my friends and family and anybody that would support me, using the best lawyers of my country. He sued me and my friends, spent thousands of dollars on lawyers. He even sued my girlfriend.
At the end he went a little crazy with the harassing and made a mistake, my girlfriend was able to use the "feminist" laws against him, and at the end, he lost again and we agreed to end all this bullshit.
This was a nightmare that went on for years, left me out of many jobs and friends, obviously, nobody want to get sued because he's friend with an "untouchable".
This is the society we live, I agree that past times was worse for men, but these times are no walk in the park either.
My advice is: Those rumors go away with time, I mean years. Remember Mike Tyson was actually in jail for rape, but now he's an hero and actually they going to make a movie about him. Time heal everything because people realize that a real rapist will continue raping people, and you did not, so they slowly realize the accusation was bullshit. Be careful, be safe.
itcompter 3y ago
Very true. Glad that it's finally over with for you. Thanks for sharing
iMnotHiigh 3y ago
You fucked up, I would have went after her for lying about the rape accusations
Lil_Krispie 3y ago
File a lawsuit for slander against the ex
RyansPutter 3y ago
If you really do have mma training, then next time one of these white knights physically attacks you, defend yourself. White knights are cowards. If you beat the shit out of a white knight trying to attack you, other white knights won't attack you in the future.
slimydrowner 3y ago
Move to Southeast Asia.
Intercouse_Fluid 3y ago
Y Southeast Asia
slimydrowner 3y ago
It's a whole new place compared to where OP lives.