Note that in this article, they'll make the statement of fact....
Researchers have identified a potential source of this dissatisfaction that has not been assessed in previous work—a mismatch in the way couples’ sexual desires change over time (McNulty et al., 2019). This work appears in the new issue of the journal Archives of Sexual Behavior.
... but they don't have solutions on how to solve the problem.
and this little gem
The authors suggest that women’s sexual desire may function not only to facilitate reproduction, but also to enable pair bonding. They speculate that once couples marry, women may not feel as strong a need for sex to secure their bond with their husbands.
If she has no reason to work for you, how could she give a fuck and/or care?
I don't agree with that. A man who has secured a dominant female and had a baby with her has much more power on the dating market (if thing's dont work out). Women all know this and treat their kids like the obvious demerits they are when they are dating. From my perspective, I'd much prefer the limited downside risk on the guy's side here. Men are on the earth to reproduce with the best available woman or women. Men I know with kids who are dating say it almost always works in their favor.
It’s tempting to criticize this, but there are very practical reasons why this study had limited findings and did not overreach in terms of speculation on why sexual desire declines amongst women.
The study tested three (and only three) things:
Whether male and female members of newlywed couples experienced different rates of change in sexual desire.
Whether any such changes were accentuated by childbirth.
Whether any such changes had implications for marital satisfaction.
Since it was a yes to all three, any subsequent research on changes in female sexual desire can reference this study to tie it back to marital satisfaction. I’m not surprised that the researchers stopped short of speculating as to the causality behind changes in sexual desire; the study was clearly not designed to evaluate the “why.” I am surprised that such a study had not already been undertaken.
The "why" is often hard to find, but they could do comparative studies where they looked for what traits where typically found in couples with high sexual desire and relationship satisfaction, but not found in couples that lacked it.
Gottman did something like that, and for example he found that communication did not seem to relate to relationship satisfaction. He missed the boat on other areas, but it shows that you can make progress with studies.
I bet if you looked at the relation between scores on "how happy are you with your marriage", "how happy are you with your sex life", "how often do you think about what your wife wants", "how often do you make fun of your wife", "how seriously do you take it when your wife is angry with you", you'd see a clear red pill picture emerge.
The just need to compare the quantity of available fucks given by the husband to the marital satisfaction of the wife to the number of blowjobs per week - BAM problem solved.
I love this gem:
"The researchers also recommend studying the factors which might prevent women’s sexual desire from declining, such as “being more willing to meet a partner’s sexual needs, believing that sex takes work, and expecting sexual desire to fluctuate.”
See? You can just blue pill your way out of it! Lots of helpful shoulders to cry on over at Dead Bedrooms.
Kind of amazing. This group is the first time I’ve ever heard anyone verbalize a solution to these issues. “Everybody knows women just aren’t interested in sex after marriage”
Unless she has a high value man and a good reason to try.
Indeed, recent perspectives suggest that extended sexuality functions to help women gain and maintain investment from men. [She hooks you with her pussy, no duh. But the key part for the married man is the "maintain". She will use her pussy to keep youonly if she thinks she needs to.]
Consistent with such perspectives, recent research suggests that women are more likely to engage in sex outside of their fertile window when they perceive that their partners are relatively low in their investments into the relationship. [If she thinks she needs you more than you need her, she deploys her pussy power.]
It is thus possible that women’s sexual desire functions in part to secure investment from the partner through sexual behavior. [Hence the power of Dread - which tacitly threatens the withdrawal of your investment.]
If so, this perspective also suggests women’s desire may decline more than men’s as interdependence deepens over time, such as with the birth of children, because it may be less critical for women to maintain high levels of sexual desire as men grow more invested over time. [Once she has your commitment locked down, her pussy dries up. The bad news is, once you have children, you can't realistically threaten to "withdraw your investment" because the state will ensure you keep your resource investment coming to her even after she withdraws her sexual investment from you.]
I would bet it is more obvious than most men will admit. I know what happened to me is that I ignored my instincts, ignored the logic, and instead let myself believe the blue pill lie. It was easier that way.
Stupid. And my wife is actually pretty damn good. Actually adds value. Still....
Tl,Dr; "Chin stroking blue pill motherfucking psychologists get paid a shit load of money to conduct a pointless multi year study and draw no conclusions other than what they see through their chin stroking, blue pill motherfucking eyes."
Interesting, that an entire study, and their handwringing conclusions, are so sharply focused through a fem-centric blue pill lens. Even when these intersexual issues are keenly observed and well described, the solutions escape them.
If you did a study and found evidence that appeared to support the idea that the Earth is flat, you'd find a way to shoehorn those data into the fact that the Earth is an oblong spheroid, right? You'd probably talk about your data being "the illusion of a flat Earth." That's what this is to them: gynecocentricism is the order of the day, so in order to be a credible study and not be dismissed as amateurs (or worse, right wing) the authors will always interpret their findings through the dominant paradigm: feminism and how things relate to -- and serve -- women.
the dominant paradigm: feminism and how things relate to -- and serve -- women.
Before RP I would've assumed this was just a radical rant.
My assimilation of RP has been long and slow. What was unbelievable and radical on my day zero in 2014, is mild mannered today. The journey continues...
I'll conjecture that the couples in this study had 1 or more of the following characteristics.
The masculine / feminine polarity gap between the 2 was very small.
The men were not built. They were either overweight, or clean and thin bearded runners of average height.
The man followed behind the woman and looked to her to make decisions.
Every year the woman posts a happy anniversary announcement on FaceBook telling everyone how great it is to celebrate X years with her "best friend".
They often sit in a restaurant and the woman will glance over at Chad and be pulled in by his bass / baritone voice and wide shoulder to hip ratio.
They come home and woman allows her thin bearded husband to bang her in her "favorite" doggy style position so she can pretend it's Chad banging her from behind.
Woman gets tired of pretending it's Chad and wants the real Chad.
Because these data were collected over time, the authors were also able to assess the reverse possibility—that declining marital satisfaction was predictive of less sexual desire. However, this was not supported by the data.
in other words; attraction cannot be negotiated
The authors suggest that women’s sexual desire may function not only to facilitate reproduction, but also to enable pair bonding.
if only it were so simple, IMHO - women meme a personality that is not truly their own in order to win their mate. it's not Machivelian; it's just nature. it's also a lot more pernicious problem than her gina tingles.
you and I have had this conversation several times in OYS - there is no substitute for actual competition - dread is a weak substitute and at best a compromise versus other priorities in a man's life
Psychology today... great gynocentric rag. Not gonna read the article or link because it's already explained below. I personally can say that with the RP my sex life has gotten better and the marriage much stronger than in the past. The "why" is because of game and frame. Shamelessly kino my woman, and I'm the family alpha/oak tree. It's so simple a cave man could do it.
This is also relevant to many men who are in LTRs.
I'm in an interesting situation. I have an LTR with a married woman who has children. She's completely dry for her husband mostly due to the fact he stopped working because of lack of motivation and ambition and has required her to work two jobs instead. She gets not only good sex from me but fun nights out, good experiences, trips, a running partner (that doesn't suck at it), and gifts from time to time.
At one point I felt she started taking me for granted because I was overly nice (hey sex was amazing and she was making sacrifices to see me at my whim) and she started acting outside of acceptable rules (adding other dudes from work that orbit her on her social media, not making sacrifices ah more, etc). I immediately started chatting up other women and going out with other people - nothing bad but just having a good time without her, maybe even going running with another girl friend. Immediately she was jealous and blew up at me but I basically told her she was doing the same and I wouldnt stop her. That night she went out with me, texted her loser husband she was going to out late with friends, and spent the rest of the night until 1 am with me doing whatever I wanted to her.
I have an LTR with a married woman who has children developed severe oneitis for a plate
I can smell the validation on you, brother. I bet it feels great, or it did at first, but now you're addicted to a plate. She leaves you to be with her family and you had a temper tantrum until she noticed. You think you're in love with this girl? Your choice of words tells me you've given yourself a second wife with a second set of weird BP rules around getting laid. Me and my plate have two rules:
1 Be discreet
2 Either of us can end it at any time
Dread works
Does it still count as dread if you're doing it as a responsive measure to one woman?
SteelToeShitKicker 6y ago
LOL.
screechhater 6y ago
Satisfaction.
Survey says - researchers can’t get Pusey at home so they are on their own quest
weakandsensitive 6y ago
Note that in this article, they'll make the statement of fact....
... but they don't have solutions on how to solve the problem.
and this little gem
If she has no reason to work for you, how could she give a fuck and/or care?
[deleted] 6y ago
[deleted]
RicoJay13 6y ago
I don't agree with that. A man who has secured a dominant female and had a baby with her has much more power on the dating market (if thing's dont work out). Women all know this and treat their kids like the obvious demerits they are when they are dating. From my perspective, I'd much prefer the limited downside risk on the guy's side here. Men are on the earth to reproduce with the best available woman or women. Men I know with kids who are dating say it almost always works in their favor.
hack3ge 6y ago
Unless you flip the script - wonder how one would go about doing that....
part_wolf 6y ago
It’s tempting to criticize this, but there are very practical reasons why this study had limited findings and did not overreach in terms of speculation on why sexual desire declines amongst women.
The study tested three (and only three) things:
Since it was a yes to all three, any subsequent research on changes in female sexual desire can reference this study to tie it back to marital satisfaction. I’m not surprised that the researchers stopped short of speculating as to the causality behind changes in sexual desire; the study was clearly not designed to evaluate the “why.” I am surprised that such a study had not already been undertaken.
weakandsensitive 6y ago
I get why they don't do it, but the point is that it isn't useful. It's like Captain Hindsight from South Park.
Also -- they can't test the "why" in a meaningful way.
Sepean 6y ago
The "why" is often hard to find, but they could do comparative studies where they looked for what traits where typically found in couples with high sexual desire and relationship satisfaction, but not found in couples that lacked it.
Gottman did something like that, and for example he found that communication did not seem to relate to relationship satisfaction. He missed the boat on other areas, but it shows that you can make progress with studies.
I bet if you looked at the relation between scores on "how happy are you with your marriage", "how happy are you with your sex life", "how often do you think about what your wife wants", "how often do you make fun of your wife", "how seriously do you take it when your wife is angry with you", you'd see a clear red pill picture emerge.
hack3ge 6y ago
The just need to compare the quantity of available fucks given by the husband to the marital satisfaction of the wife to the number of blowjobs per week - BAM problem solved.
Sepean 6y ago
Hack3ge's Law: in any marriage, the number of blowjobs received is inversely proportional to the number of fucks given.
weakandsensitive 6y ago
"how attractive is your husband to other women?"
[deleted] 6y ago
[--removed--]
part_wolf 6y ago
Agreed. Why don’t you think it’s possible for the causation to be studied in a meaningful way?
RuleZeroDAD 6y ago
The answers would be far from flattering.
In addition, every shrew and asshole she's with are different in ways that can't be controlled for.
IRunYourRiver 6y ago
I love this gem: "The researchers also recommend studying the factors which might prevent women’s sexual desire from declining, such as “being more willing to meet a partner’s sexual needs, believing that sex takes work, and expecting sexual desire to fluctuate.”
See? You can just blue pill your way out of it! Lots of helpful shoulders to cry on over at Dead Bedrooms.
WorkingThePath 6y ago
Kind of amazing. This group is the first time I’ve ever heard anyone verbalize a solution to these issues. “Everybody knows women just aren’t interested in sex after marriage”
Unless she has a high value man and a good reason to try.
Never felt more relevant
Edit: working on better phrasing of my thoughts
weakandsensitive 6y ago
Phrase it like that and you'll have no one who'll argue with you.
WorkingThePath 6y ago
So much better, editing my original post now just to start putting myself in the habit. Great way to phrase it.
Westernhagen 6y ago
Science confirms the obvious.
nester79 6y ago
If only it were truly obvious to more men.
DeepReindeer 6y ago
I would bet it is more obvious than most men will admit. I know what happened to me is that I ignored my instincts, ignored the logic, and instead let myself believe the blue pill lie. It was easier that way.
Stupid. And my wife is actually pretty damn good. Actually adds value. Still....
SBIII 6y ago
Tl,Dr; "Chin stroking blue pill motherfucking psychologists get paid a shit load of money to conduct a pointless multi year study and draw no conclusions other than what they see through their chin stroking, blue pill motherfucking eyes."
Over60_FireTempered3 6y ago
Interesting, that an entire study, and their handwringing conclusions, are so sharply focused through a fem-centric blue pill lens. Even when these intersexual issues are keenly observed and well described, the solutions escape them.
SorcererKing 6y ago
If you did a study and found evidence that appeared to support the idea that the Earth is flat, you'd find a way to shoehorn those data into the fact that the Earth is an oblong spheroid, right? You'd probably talk about your data being "the illusion of a flat Earth." That's what this is to them: gynecocentricism is the order of the day, so in order to be a credible study and not be dismissed as amateurs (or worse, right wing) the authors will always interpret their findings through the dominant paradigm: feminism and how things relate to -- and serve -- women.
Over60_FireTempered3 6y ago
Before RP I would've assumed this was just a radical rant.
My assimilation of RP has been long and slow. What was unbelievable and radical on my day zero in 2014, is mild mannered today. The journey continues...
red-iron-man 6y ago
I'll conjecture that the couples in this study had 1 or more of the following characteristics.
Taipanshimshon 6y ago
No shit.
Persaeus 6y ago
this is the money shot
in other words; attraction cannot be negotiated
if only it were so simple, IMHO - women meme a personality that is not truly their own in order to win their mate. it's not Machivelian; it's just nature. it's also a lot more pernicious problem than her gina tingles.
you and I have had this conversation several times in OYS - there is no substitute for actual competition - dread is a weak substitute and at best a compromise versus other priorities in a man's life
FoxShitNasty83 6y ago
Well said
RicoDunne 6y ago
Psychology today... great gynocentric rag. Not gonna read the article or link because it's already explained below. I personally can say that with the RP my sex life has gotten better and the marriage much stronger than in the past. The "why" is because of game and frame. Shamelessly kino my woman, and I'm the family alpha/oak tree. It's so simple a cave man could do it.
BostonBrakeJob 6y ago
Sexual desire? Or sexual desire for their partners?
RStonePT 6y ago
They'll never make progress, no one would fund a study to solve male sexuality, and no ethics board would let anyone experiment on people.
It's the limits of social science
nester79 6y ago
It'll have to just be retrospective observational studies sadly enough.
nester79 6y ago
This is also relevant to many men who are in LTRs.
I'm in an interesting situation. I have an LTR with a married woman who has children. She's completely dry for her husband mostly due to the fact he stopped working because of lack of motivation and ambition and has required her to work two jobs instead. She gets not only good sex from me but fun nights out, good experiences, trips, a running partner (that doesn't suck at it), and gifts from time to time.
At one point I felt she started taking me for granted because I was overly nice (hey sex was amazing and she was making sacrifices to see me at my whim) and she started acting outside of acceptable rules (adding other dudes from work that orbit her on her social media, not making sacrifices ah more, etc). I immediately started chatting up other women and going out with other people - nothing bad but just having a good time without her, maybe even going running with another girl friend. Immediately she was jealous and blew up at me but I basically told her she was doing the same and I wouldnt stop her. That night she went out with me, texted her loser husband she was going to out late with friends, and spent the rest of the night until 1 am with me doing whatever I wanted to her.
Dread works.
BarracudaRP 6y ago
I can smell the validation on you, brother. I bet it feels great, or it did at first, but now you're addicted to a plate. She leaves you to be with her family and you had a temper tantrum until she noticed. You think you're in love with this girl? Your choice of words tells me you've given yourself a second wife with a second set of weird BP rules around getting laid. Me and my plate have two rules:
1 Be discreet 2 Either of us can end it at any time
Does it still count as dread if you're doing it as a responsive measure to one woman?
hack3ge 6y ago
I’m so confused on being in an LTR with a married man that he then has to dread to fuck him - but maybe it’s just me.