After my divorce, I stayed in the marital home. It didn't really bother me, but at the same time it was a lot of space I didn't need.
Last summer I started to look at Bachelor Pads in the downtown areas of Dallas, cause hey - I am a single 40 year old HVM. Might as well get out of suburbia.
After I met Fitchick things went well, and I was less motivated to move. In Nov of last year I invited her and her kids to spend a week with me (she had been spending every day and night with me) to see how it would go. That week turned permanent.
I justified it because there was no "financial cost" to me. I already had the 4 bedroom house with pool, in my name only, but I was also in love and foolish. So I broke a few red pill rules and overall best practices.
Most of them were in regards to red flags, and un-necessary baggage. Taking a women in is one thing. Taking her and her 20, 18 and 13 year old boys? Idiotic. But I was in love.
The main rule I broke is Iron Rule of Tomassi #4. It states:
NEVER under any circumstance live with a woman you aren’t married to or are not planning to marry in within 6 months.
In previous OYS posts I talked about how I had the cards stacked in my favor for what would eventually happen today.
Due to being foolish and so deeply in love (and quite franking still am) I was willing to overlook these red flags, but at the same time I was at least smart enough to have an exit strategy.
As the months grew on, I started to realize the complete mess I put myself in with her kids. I was becoming trapped. Not with her - that part was great, it was her fucking kids. With in 120 days of them moving in, I saw the writing on the wall. It was not going to last. I made up my mind back in June, it just took me 30 days to find my balls.
We had talked about this before, and there several instances which led to several discussions about these plans, then this weekend had a trigger event. Before I communicated the plan with no commitment date. Today I applied a commitment date.
Today I sat down with her and restructured our relationship as follows, because I am still a fool in love and this is better for me:
I am putting the house on the market and plan to sell it in the next 60 days. I will be moving into more than likely "this" condo - (a condo she has actually seen before). I would like you to find an apartment for you and the boys very close to where I am so you are able to still come over as much as you want. The condo and associated costs will be "mine" your apartment and associated costs will be "yours and the boys". I am willing to continue a 1:1 dedicated, monogamous relationship and we can treat the condo as "ours" in every way other than legally. But I am not longer willing to support your children.
So far? After the initial blow up and crying on her part, I have stood my ground. "I will change, the boys will change" are weapons which were used before which now have no impact on me. But also - she is a woman with no options other than to follow what I say. She could easily move out, dump me and whatever. At this point, I don't care but I don't think that will happen. Ego? Or just knowledge that she can easily be replaced?
At 4pm the realtor will be here, and she has been looking at apartments literally within 2 miles of the condo I plan to move into.
This time, the plan will be executed. Still, by a fool in love.
Today I finally admitted my mistakes to myself, and that I am more important than anyone, its time to take my ball back and that she now has a choice.
Go with my plan and have a relationship with me, one that over time would likely lead back to full time co-habitation, or not have me at all. But I am no longer willing to accept your "package" deal of "my kids and I."
Secret is - she knows who the prize is.
Stay tuned faggots.

silent_dominant 5y ago
Update?
red-sfpplus 5y ago
Here you go. I posted it in OYS this time.
https://old.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/i3fisb/own_your_shit_weekly_august_04_2020/g0c82yn/
LeftTwixOnly 5y ago
calls us faggots...ha!
e39boy 5y ago
You fucked up, owned it, and fixed it. Now do not go back on your word or your commitment to sound principles and rules.
RP_4life 5y ago
Thank you for your post. It is important we share our mistakes, and not just our progress
I don't understand why as a 40YO high value man you would date a +3 single mom.
screechhater 6y ago
Interesting.
As if though I have some vested interest in judging your actions of the calamity of circumstance to which your life ended up with fit chick and her boys gravitating into your home.
Nice to read some fucking honesty in adjusting boundaries to make a relationship work. 2/3 of they guys here would have folded and gotten lost
Westernhagen 6y ago
When you said you were moving her and her kids in, I thought to myself, "if anyone can make this work, it's Red."
If it didn't work for Red, how can it work for someone whose physical and mental frame is jello pudding compared to his?
Lesson there.
red-sfpplus 6y ago
I appreciate this comment. Thank you.
RStonePT 6y ago
SB kind of laid it out, not much to add...
Other than this whole speech looks like an invitation for her to guilt you into ceeding boundaries, and it looks like she pulled out all the stops. Crying, probably anger at some point, some ego stroking, possibly even hysterical bonding.
Be prepared to be the bad guy here, think you can handle it as well as handling something up your ass?
good luck man
red-sfpplus 6y ago
Brah, that took a long time and lots of training.
RStonePT 6y ago
I wasn't trying to demean your accomplishments man
Floatingsidewal 6y ago
If thier mother has potential, then the boys have potential. A direct discussion is only a starting point. There is nothing wrong with taking your leadership to the next level with these boys, regardless of the living situation. Address these challenges independently. Help them become productive and move to next level in life while addressing your long term residency goals. Don't tie the two together so tightly.
Persaeus 6y ago
Red has not really provided the details; but 20 and no job or school . . . from what it sounds like?
i don't personally know anyone that's came out of that on top. i mean people still need their grass cut.
Over60_FireTempered3 6y ago
This is where I could not disagree more. They are not "boys" they are adults. For me there is no "taking leadership to the next level".
I have been where Red is and it was on my LTR's adult children to take initiative to court me, as I also tried to get along with them. I owed them nothing. They owed me nothing. If there is to be a relationship with them, it is on an adult basis of two parties making reasonable efforts to come together. To an even greater extent, it was up to them as they had much more to gain from me, than I did from them.
The bottom line is, 20 years old and going nowhere, is not any benefit to me. Building relationships is still about adding value. No way I was going to ever support anyone's kids, even my own adult kids, if they aren't making the effort.
red-sfpplus 6y ago
Fucking amen.
I really wish I could provide all the details about what is going on.
I would certainly come across
moreless faggotry.IDK why buy lately I have been getting more PM's than usual. IDK if I am getting higher on the DOX radar.
Could just be the age of the account, IDK.
One thing I do want to clear up.
I actually sold my house last year. I had to cash out to pay of the ex.
We basically had the fucker paid off.
Anyway....the investor I sold it to gave me 12 months to either buy it back, or he was going to sell it.
I do not want to buy it back.
And I do not want to buy a house with her.
Over60_FireTempered3 6y ago
I had my share of doxxer attempts. My posts about serial cheating set some prim and proper panties on fire. Be careful. Go back and delete personally identifiable information in your posts. I was so loose with my doxxable info that deleting was the only option.
edit......
Good sense to not buy a house together. If you don't want to raise her kids, or worry with her adult losers, keep separate housekeeping, like you are doing until they are older or the relationship goes limp.
johneyapocalypse 6y ago
whats up with your wife?
I wasnt aware. sorry to hear.
Over60_FireTempered3 6y ago
Thank you. Appreciated.
There's nothing about her ... that I would share here.
As you well know, we all have an eventual endpoint that can be ever so demanding of our attention. Good luck to you too in your battle ahead.
SBIII 6y ago
Fuck me - this is hamstering at it's finest.
Bitch has annoying kids. I can't get rid of her.
Cuz I'm in luuurve.
Bitch lives off me rent free. I can't get rid of her.
Cuz I'm in luuurve.
Bitch's kids live off me rent free. I can't get rid of her.
Cuz I'm in luuurve.
Bitch basically sucked my dick to keep me distracted while she snuck into my house, with her adult kids, and now - 6 months later - I've just realised that I'm been fucking played .. AND I'm footing the fucking bill.
Holy fuck, Batman.. I'm Beta Bucks.
Again.
Only this time, I've got steroid induced muscles. So, I'm a bad ass. I tell people on Reddit they are fucking pussies. So, I'm a motherfucking badass. So how'd this happen? How'd I get played?
Again.
Yeah, but I'm a Red Pill motherfucker. I know the rules. I re-read them last month. One of them told me what to do. That's me being a badass red fucking pill mother fucker.
So here's how I'm going to get my fucking balls back, get rid of the annoying kids and still be in luuurve. And get my dick sucked. Monogamously. I'm nt going to kick her out. I'm going to sell my house. In fact, it's already fucking sold, bitch - deal with that.
Bitch - here's how it's going to be.
I'm kicking you out coz you are living off me rent free with your lazy fuckwit adult boys and it's not fucking on. Your pussy is good, but it ain't that fucking good.
Her.. "sorry, did you say something Red? - I couldn't hear you, you were mumbling"
Sorry darling. Look. This house is too big for me. I need to downsize. I think we should get seperate apartments.
Her: "are you breaking up with me?"
No, baby - I'm still in in luuurve with you - I just need some space of my own and a smaller apartment.
Her: "are you fucking someone else?"
No, baby I'm in luuurve with you and I don't want to fuck anyone else and I really hope you don't want to fuck anyone else either because, you know I'm in luuurve so I think we should keep having a 1:1 dedicated, monogamous relationship, cuz you know I'm in luuurve.
Her: "Is it about my boys?"
No, baby - you know I love them too.. it's just, you know, money and shit, smaller house and things, stuff like that.
Her: "I will change, the boys will change"
It's too late. It's done. It's my way or the highway. I am the prize.
Her; "Well, you sure as shit don't act like it"
Sorry baby - did you say something? I couldn't hear you?
Her: "No, I was just saying to myself that this sounds like a good idea"
Cool. You know I still luurve you, don't you?
Her, "Yes, Red, I know. I know all too well."
SteelSharpensSteel 6y ago
Ice. We need some ice for this burn.
red-sfpplus 6y ago
Damn.
SBIII 6y ago
The burn, the burn, the burn.. I dunno. I said what I had to say. You'll make of it what you will. This was always gonna be your House of Cards and you knew that from the start.
Either way, I still love you, man . You're my favourite poster on the forum by a long mile. You're an honest fucker. Prone to bravado and bullshitting but that's part of the charm. When you post like this - from the heart - we all learn something. Life is not a destination, it's a journey. x :)
[deleted] 6y ago
[deleted]
SBIII 6y ago
If I wanted advice from you on what I should or shouldn't post, I'd have asked you first.
Check your DMs - see if there's a request from me seeking your fucking approval.
red-sfpplus 6y ago
OMGF I would marry you.
SBIII 6y ago
I thought you'd never ask.
RStonePT 6y ago
It's exchanges like this that give me hope for men...
Yeah, I'll bet a lot of ego feeding sessions had her topping from the bottom.
Question for you to mull over. If I asked you what your motivations were, would you know, or would you think one up and say it because it makes sense?
that'll be the real mind blow for you
red-sfpplus 6y ago
You know me, more personally than anyone else on here. (giggdy)
You will just have to trust that I had half a fucking plan when I did this.
I just cant talk about it all here, but I can DM you Bb.
RStonePT 6y ago
Your plan sucks, you ended up with a divorced mom with kids and you paid bills.
You don't gotta be the tough one with me man, I get what you've been though and we all had some form of it.
Just sort it out and stop letting your shitty feelings put you into Messe Or not, it's your life
[deleted] 6y ago
[deleted]
RStonePT 6y ago
OK, SB did the good cop and bad cop, somehow you managed to make it about you.
Lets cut that shit out. Veteran or no, we are all here for the same purpose, analyzing who is the better monday morning quarterback does no favours, TRP proper would be a better venue for that
SBIII 6y ago
Dude, if you want some love, there's no point in getting pissy about it - you just gotta ask - I've got plenty of it to give.
Persaeus 6y ago
like you i generally learn my lessons the hard way. always have and though it may sound ignorant probably will keep on. i like risk and i like doing things people tell me i can't. when that's your game some time "mistakes are made"
so long as no limbs or fortunes are lost or jail time is incurred - it's all good. curious as to whether the two young men have any prospects in life? if not, smart man might just cut bait on that lose lose.
alphaonthecomeup 6y ago
The kids need a place to grow still. 20 and 18. They are not dead beat losers and they are not leeches. They are her children. And if she’s smart she’ll choose them over you. If she doesn’t then I don’t know why you would even want her.
The kids are not YOUR problem. Which is good that you realize , but don’t expect her to drop them out of her life, especially the 13 year old. It’s her job to raise him, which will take precedence over you.
To be honest this sounds likes way too much stress. I hate telling men to have abundance mentality cause I don’t have it either , I’m in love. But this is a wild situation. You should start talking and developing feelings for a different girl if you want to go the partner route.
Love is elite and if you actually do love her I don’t know. Some sacrifices might have to be made. Either you letting her go or you accepting her as she is.
Don’t talk down on the kids though. They grew up with a single mother. What do you expect from them, to be millionaires with their own cribs to go? I don’t know if they are in college or whatever, but they are young men and the children of the woman you love.
If your woman even loves you. Don’t forget your woman loves you for your value and what you could do for her - place for my kids to live, good dick, role model for my boys, some stability and something new. She doesn’t love your bitch ass for you and probably never will. She loves her children though. Once you stop giving her what she wants from your ass, she’ll probably just dip. Be ready for that.
So either you alpha up - which you are trying to do. Mad respect.
Or you beta bucks.
I read the rationale male I thought 40s was supposed to be prime ?? Why would you even start dating a single mom near your age group ? She is definitely approaching the wall if she hasn’t yet.
Take a look at yourself ? You got a 4 bedroom crib? Are you fit ? You got some bread ?
Go travel by yourself for a bit and take a break from The bs once corona is over. Get some new insight.
weakandsensitive 6y ago
Jesus fucking christ. This is the type of guy who spends all his time posting on askTRP.
Copying post and user (/u/alphaonthecomeup) for historical records.
The kids need a place to grow still. 20 and 18. They are not dead beat losers and they are not leeches. They are her children. And if she’s smart she’ll choose them over you. If she doesn’t then I don’t know why you would even want her.
The kids are not YOUR problem. Which is good that you realize , but don’t expect her to drop them out of her life, especially the 13 year old. It’s her job to raise him, which will take precedence over you.
To be honest this sounds likes way too much stress. I hate telling men to have abundance mentality cause I don’t have it either , I’m in love. But this is a wild situation. You should start talking and developing feelings for a different girl if you want to go the partner route.
Love is elite and if you actually do love her I don’t know. Some sacrifices might have to be made. Either you letting her go or you accepting her as she is.
Don’t talk down on the kids though. They grew up with a single mother. What do you expect from them, to be millionaires with their own cribs to go? I don’t know if they are in college or whatever, but they are young men and the children of the woman you love.
If your woman even loves you. Don’t forget your woman loves you for your value and what you could do for her - place for my kids to live, good dick, role model for my boys, some stability and something new. She doesn’t love your bitch ass for you and probably never will. She loves her children though. Once you stop giving her what she wants from your ass, she’ll probably just dip. Be ready for that.
So either you alpha up - which you are trying to do. Mad respect.
Or you beta bucks.
I read the rationale male I thought 40s was supposed to be prime ?? Why would you even start dating a single mom near your age group ? She is definitely approaching the wall if she hasn’t yet.
Take a look at yourself ? You got a 4 bedroom crib? Are you fit ? You got some bread ?
Go travel by yourself for a bit and take a break from The bs once corona is over. Get some new insight.
[deleted] 6y ago
I think the real takeaway is that short of blowing your head off, most decisions are reversible.
so_woke_da_wookie 6y ago
Ha, bang on.
Over60_FireTempered3 6y ago
No doubt, 1652 Rule. She is forever stuck emotionally as a 16 year old. There are 52 cards and a joker in the deck. You hold all 52 and she has the Joker, that can only be wild if you accept it.
These words have never gone well for the many men here that have gone before you...
Finally some fucking progress. Now stay with it and bear down hard.
You should have never even considered accepting her "terms" ever.
She may know, but you seem to have forgotten and that is what matters.
You have come too far and gone through too much to delude yourself now, and not have everything that what you want out of life.
This is a damn good start back on your path, Skippy.
johneyapocalypse 6y ago
Wise words.
Happy 4th.
red-sfpplus 6y ago
I agree with everything, except this.
I allowed these terms, because I also come with these terms.
I believe it is unrealistic for 40 year old people to not have kids in their lives.
This is all about a 20 and 18 year old who are fucking deadbeat losers, raised by a single mom with a bead beat Dad.
What else do you expect?
I am not going to shelter and enable young adult losers.
Over60_FireTempered3 6y ago
You're confusing me. Were her terms that the loser kids were part of her "package"? You decided, later rather than sooner. that you didn't have to take on any of her kids you didn't want to?
Your only mistake, IMO, is allowing things to get this far. I see that you are still way too invested in her reaction to all this as you take back what is and was always yours. Your self, your stuff, your time.
SoggyTrain 6y ago
God you are a softy.
[deleted] 6y ago
[--removed--]
[deleted] 6y ago
[deleted]
RStonePT 6y ago
It's no one elses job, nut up
Over60_FireTempered3 6y ago
My Glock holds 10 rounds, you would be looking at getting them all...
red-sfpplus 6y ago
I am sad and offended you do not have a 30 round mag.
quesoburgesa 6y ago
Don’t you mean 33?
Over60_FireTempered3 6y ago
Old guys have old school pieces...
bogeyd6 6y ago
Glock 26? They got 50 round drum mags at KCI.
Over60_FireTempered3 6y ago
You Texas guys can blow away more ammo than a Somalian teenager.
bogeyd6 6y ago
No one will ever accuse us of not having enough!
Over60_FireTempered3 6y ago
Yup, there's the up side.
HighTesticles 6y ago
The older and more experienced I get, the more I realize how many of us are more fearful of freedom than we are of chains.
SBIII 6y ago
That would explain all the face masks.
howcanirememberthisn 6y ago
I cannot put into words how compact and correct this statement is.
This is at the root of everything.
afoolforfools 6y ago
Freedom forces us to face our shit. Chains are comforting and familiar.
Redpillbrigade17 6y ago
Nothing new under the Sun. As Rollo said, women are dream killers. Not because they want to but because men will give up on their dreams for a steady supply of pussy and the responsibilities that women attach to it.
RStonePT 6y ago
Dream killing is an opt-in problem
DrunkOldBear 6y ago
What would you do? Would you supress your feelings because "rollo sayz no oneitis"? What's the difference btw falling in love and pussy pedestalization? Honest question. A thorough answer will really help me.
RStonePT 6y ago
Feelings are memories of the past you can't articulate, so you feel them instead.
Now how many guys have the ideal past to guide them into a solid future?
Persaeus 6y ago
mostly self awareness. "falling in love" is a feeling that resides inside of you; and unfortunately it need not be mutual. when you realize it's a feeling inside; and not really external (that woman on the pedestal) you then understand this feeling can be replicated with many different women. she's not special and neither are you.
falling in love is riding a splendid wave. that particular wave is not your life; there are many more each a little different.
Redpillbrigade17 6y ago
Falling is love is beautiful. I am in love now. She’s amazing. We have mind blowing sex, connection and she is a true life partner. We have each other’s back. She is hot, smart, sexy, witty and caring. But she’s a woman. That means I need to be careful not to give in and give up on my mission and priorities in life in order to be with her. And that’s what happens to most men. They slowly become accustomed to the comfort and lose sight of what truly matters to them when in a “relationship” or marriage. Women may not even consciously do it, but they slowly encroach on a man’s deepest aspirations and dreams- in reality, they NEED and want the man to fulfill himself, and to submit to his energy and life force. They need to be told “No, I am busy”. But that’s not happens to 90-95% of men; add society’s BS laws, religion, culture and emphasis on long-term bonding + monogamous dynamic (that in effect is much more beneficial to a woman than to a man) and you have a recipe for shitty or unfulfilled men.
Frankly, reading 16 commandments of Poon every single day for rest of your life should get you there. You’ll see what I mean.
DrunkOldBear 6y ago
Thankyou very much.
RedPillGlasses 6y ago
Falling In Love = Standing together, independently, facing the same direction (sounds gay, but more or less accurate)
Pussy Pedestal = She’s looking forward, you’re looking up at her for approval. When she says “yes” you turn and face the same direction, but always double checking to see if she’s still going that direction.
First example, you’re moving forward and you know she’s walking forward with you too. And if one day you realize she’s not there anymore, then you’re lonely and it sucks for awhile, but...... there’s lots of different people to walk with.
Second example you’re always checking, always a little worried, and eventually it’s a little clingy and she walks away to find a guy that’s more fun/sexy/exciting/not fat to walk with.
A little more gay than I would prefer, but there it is.
DrunkOldBear 6y ago
Excelent! Good one!
Sepean 6y ago
I’m going to take another angle on this: love is real. It’s a real emotion. You, like most men, feel it.
We can talk trash about disney romance and how it turns men beta and yadda yadda, but that doesn’t make it go away. That’s why not just the MRP vets but from all over the manosphere end up in LTRs. Sex and plate spinning is fun, but most of us end up wanting to live with a girl we love.
And MRP shows us how to make that work, how to stay alpha and have a great relationship. How to love a woman but do it on your terms, without letting that emotion be leveraged again you.
But there are costs and downsides to being a couple. If with this woman and her kids, the cost is too high for you, I can’t say. If the two apartments is the right solution with a better balance between cost and benefit, hats of to you for making the call and going through with it.
But to me, the lesson here isn’t “haha he moved in with a single mom”. It’s that we should plan for falling in love. Maybe that’s setting up your housing situation for it, maybe that’s vetting plates for red flags earlier so you don’t risk falling in love with the wrong girl.
But I think for most men, spinning plates to the grave is unrealistic. It’s only a fun period until you fall in love again. Pretending that won’t happen will leave us open to getting blindsided by it, and denying it when it happens will cause you a lot of heartbreak, again and again.
It’s the same for most of the guys trying to save their marriage. It’s not just the kids and the finances, most love their wives too (if ambivalently, dead bedrooms injects a lot of poison).
We talk too little about love around here. I don’t mean like “ooh I love her so much”, but recognize it as an emotion that alphas get too, and as an emotion that can both give great happiness and but also comes with the risk of making us do really stupid shit and make us misread situations badly.
Over60_FireTempered3 6y ago
Well said. Very well said.
red-sfpplus 6y ago
This is so fucking spot on.
Spinning plates and hookup sex is so unfulfilling. Its something most men CANT do it.
But I can. And I did.
And I wanted more. I wanted a partner (not a wife)
I will argue that what I did was a very complex vetting process, because I know that any single mom is going to have kids.
At my age - 40 - if she doesnt have kids - that is a bigger red flag than her having them.
I absolutely protected my position as much as I could, while I could explore this path with her and see if it is something I could do.
I see this as a win-win for her, her kids and I.
She can "pay" for the 3 kids apartment, they can live there and I will pay mine and she can "spend all her time" at mine.
Its not so much I am kicking her out, I am kicking her kids out.
Blarg_Risen 6y ago
Then kick her kids out and change nothing else.
No problem with what you're doing, but let's call a spade a spade. You love her, you're changing your life to suit your vision of living close with her but getting her kids out. The whole framing it as "getting your balls back" is a thin veil that it looks like everyone sees thru.
And quite frankly I'm a bit surprised a strong willed man like yourself has to frame it like that to her too rather than "Hey, your kids are annoying and I don't want them living with me. Here's my plan that I'm willing to do if you'd like to keep what we have going. You in or out?"
SteelSharpensSteel 6y ago
Yep. Always have to remember who is the prize.
RedPillGlasses 6y ago
Like previous commenters have said, you don’t actually WANT to sell your house. You said you were totally fine living there, it’s only NOW that you want this condo.
You’re only doing that to keep fit chick around, because deep down you’re scared to lose her.
And that’s more or less okay, but just own it.
And yeah, stop trying to say you didn’t “jump into this”, because you fucking did.
“Did you forget there was 15 months left before my wife left and Fitchick moved in???”
That’s not a long time dumbass. So you dated 2-3 girls, felt face first for the first hot one you got to bang, dated for six months, and then took on all her baggage.
I was single for five years, and dated my main plate for two years before moving her in. And that’s AFTER she got me 5-6 threesomes with her friends.
Anyway, have the balls to actually go after what you want, or continue to compromise what you want for a woman. Either way man.
johneyapocalypse 6y ago
Certain dudes have a habit of "falling in love" - or at least "shacking up with" - every 1st, 2nd, or 3rd girl they meet.
First girlfriend. Fuck yah, let's get married.
I agree that we "talk too little about love around here," but at the same time, bouncing from one marriage to the next live-in LTR in the blink-of-an-eye is fucking retarded.
I know a lot of dudes - seems like red is one - who cannot manage themselves unless they're living with a woman. To miss that independence the first time around, and then dive into something else quickly once you're just tasting that independence... sad thing is those dudes miss out on a lot.
To me that speaks of something else, something like fear to be alone, even if just for a little while.
Sepean 6y ago
Yeah, I’m not saying that love is something that we should blindly follow, at all. It regularly makes people do retarded things.
red-sfpplus 6y ago
Jesus Fucking Christ what is wrong with you?
Did you forget there was 15 months before my wife left and Fitchick moved in?
My other girlfriends NEVER lived with me.
I lived alone and was happy. Just fine.
I was fucking ready and optimistic.
Edit: Wife left in Feb 2018. Fitchick moved in Thanksgiving 2019. You do the math. I didnt rebound or jump into jack shit.
Wanna call me a faggot fine, but get the facts right brother.
so_woke_da_wookie 6y ago
What the fuck, read your own timeline Red. That’s no fucking time, especially when you factor in the shit you went through.
johneyapocalypse 6y ago
You're the one getting all emotional dude, not me.
HighTesticles 6y ago
Any unknown poster would be getting crucified for this thread
bogeyd6 6y ago
Hold some frame, at least you admitted you fucked up. I've met women with pussy so good you think your dick was being jacked off by an angel. You gotta learn to separate that and its called abundance mentality. You dont wife up the slut, you look for the next one.
Over60_FireTempered3 6y ago
You met her too?
Then her sister? Then her next door neighbor? Then the President of the PTO? Then the refreshment queen of the kids soccer team? and her best friend? ...and I thought they were all so special.
KoolAidMan7980 6y ago
What is your relationship like with the 20 and 18 yo? Will not living together and all the stress that comes with that help improve the relationships?
MachoManRandySavages 6y ago
Bro, nice to see you are coming around. The elephant in the room is that she is a single mom raising three kids, two of them are now adults but they are young adults, the younger one is going to be around for a while. Hopefully you are mentally accepting that, Having your own space is great, but the kids are not going to disappear, it is a package deal. I’m not saying this is good or bad, it just is, It works for some and it doesn’t work for others,and that’s not going to change with you moving into your own space. Good luck.
johneyapocalypse 6y ago
What the fuck else did you think was going to happen moving in with the first girlfriend post-divorce?
Rookie.
red-sfpplus 6y ago
She wasnt my first girlfriend and I didnt move in with her. She moved into my place.
But yeah, rookie.
Chump_No_More 6y ago
I have little doubt that we could judge more harshly than you have already.
Being red pilled doesn't mean you have all the answers.
What it does mean is that you have the tools to be (eventually) introspective, hold yourself accountable (otherwise known as owning your shit), and make the necessary course corrections.
Yes, you're 40, but still ahead of the game... most men NEVER figure this shit out.
Keep on truckin', brother.
RedPillGlasses 6y ago
Pretty sure I told you all this like six months ago, but fuck it whatever
_Icarus_Reborn_ 6y ago
At least you course corrected and held fast.
Well done lad. Life on your terms.
agedmail 6y ago
Nice outro (I admire your lifestyle corrections and your sign off).
LivingRPLife 6y ago
You sure YOU really want to move from a house to a condo (with fees and fucktard neighbors) or are you just finding a way to get her and “kids” out without actually telling them to GTFO. You’re not really selling YOUR house you fought so hard to keep from your ex-wife just to have an excuse to get them out? Why do you need a bachelor pad if you’re monogamous? Something doesn’t add up.
UsefulWalk4 6y ago
Glad somebody had the balls to say it. Red's a bad ass, we all know, but that's what I was thinking when I read this shit pile. If I'd posted the same text, this sub would rip me to shit. If you really want a Condo good on you, if you are doing it so you have an easy way to kick out her kids, that's weak as shit.
DocHollidaysPistols 6y ago
He did say right at the beginning that he was staying in the marital house but it was a lot of room he didn't need and that he was looking at bachelor pads in the city because he wanted to get out of suburbia. I'm assuming that was before all the rest happened.
jacksarmy 6y ago
'20, 18 and 13 year old boys' That's two men and a boy
part_wolf 6y ago
What exactly do you believe prompted you to overlook the red flags? Was it ego? A sense that the benefit outweighed the results? Or, did you simply allow yourself to be invested in someone - and accept their baggage - knowing that you could pull the ripcord at any time?
red-sfpplus 6y ago
It was this.
I cant stress this enough.
We NEVER made the decision to move in together. Her shit is in storage. It is MY house. Her lease was up. This was always a "let see what happens" idea.
This woman is not stupid.
She is not going to let a 20 and 18 year old fuck up her relationship.
How many of us got kicked out at 18 or were told to go join the military?
The 13 year old being around is one thing.
Fuck two young adult leaches.
part_wolf 6y ago
Well, you didn't. She certainly did. It doesn't really matter.
Maybe she won't, and maybe she will. It doesn't really matter.
Hypergamy may have been working in your favor thus far, but you and I both know exactly how ruthless it can be. It doesn't really matter.
I did. I got kicked out at 18. Perhaps she's capable of doing the same for her kids to keep a high value man. It doesn't really matter.
The only thing that matters here is what you want and what you will do to make sure you get it. Good luck.
Westwood_1 6y ago
Good job, man. I think we’ve all been in situations where we agree to one thing and it turns into something else. Totally foreseeable in hindsight but also an understandable mistake in the heat of the moment.
Credit to you for fixing this (and being willing to end things if need be). But you both know you have the cards again and that you’re the prize.
By the way, I don’t know how young you are or how interested in nightlife you are, but the Knox/Henderson area of Dallas seems to be the hot scene in Dallas right now and is not a bad place to live. The Turtle Creek area is quieter and a lot more expensive, but still close to Uptown and there is fun stuff going on there, too.
[deleted] 6y ago
[deleted]
Westwood_1 6y ago
IMO there’s a big difference between a weeklong visit and a permanent move in.
red-sfpplus 6y ago
You are correct.
I CHOSE to take the risk, but I also had myself as "protected" as I could be.
RedPillGlasses 6y ago
“As protected as I could be”
Until she puts a utility bill in her name, then goes to the DMV and changes her license to “your house”
Except now she lives there, and there isn’t shit you can do to get her out.
Good on you for being honest, but take back 80% of the shit you’ve said to anyone on here.