This is a great insight to how far off left base dread can actually be, or not.

We all know that mrp is a box of tools.

Over the years, I have realized that most people refuse to read any instructions in anything what so ever.

I can only imagine a man coming here after waking up to his life sucking enough that his wife refuses to fuck him.

It’s most frantic paced bitches that need dread as they skip around, not getting results, or it’s most of us as our magnification of our life reveals the absolute unfucking ahead of mass proportions

Every mrp dude should be instilling dread as it’s a continual reminder not to get lazy and fuck your life up all over again

Ya. It’s a covert contract. So is the whole mrp idea, until, it’s not That’s the dichotomy

Thanks for this, just what I needed to hear right this moment.

This is a great analysis on dread. Never even contemplated the idea that applying dread in a way is entering her frame. This could also be good material on the main TRP sub.

Will add: too many guys think they can "make it happen." You do the work. Her reaction cannot be predicted. It may happen, it may not happen. But you can't make it happen.

This post helped me greatly, I hope more guys read it.

I never 'finished' executing all the levels of dread. Hell, I still haven't had an opportunity to flirt with another woman in front of my wife. But before I found MRP, I had started lifting, dressing better and improving my hygiene for me. That made an impact in my marriage long before I learned about dread from reading.

My wife overtly tells me: "I'm afraid that if I don't do X, that you'll just find someone else who will." So, the dread is there. But what if I don't want my partner to live in anxiety 24/7? What if I want her to do those things I desire, but also want to give her positive reinforcement and appropriate comfort? Those are the things that can be easily overlooked by ascribing to only the levels of dread, which frankly I am guilty of. Now, I'm finding a better balance, and your post clarified a lot for me.

Sorry for my ignorance, does anyone have a post explaining better about KINO ???

Cheat codes! Everyone wants the damn cheat codes! Quick, anything to beat the bad bad boss. Does it give me 30 extra lives or do I just have to have 3?!?

I like this post a lot, Tyred, and had Horns not given you MRP APPROVED a month ago I would have done so on this alone. Well deserved, I would note.

You're both right and you're not right. Three posts spring to mind: https://www.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/c32kq4/what_is_the_main_event/ ; https://www.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/374wln/what_we_talk_about_when_we_talk_about_dread_13/ ; and https://www.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/4clb60/had_a_fight_last_night_help_me_parse_it/d1jr3ej/ . Man, that J10, he really had a way with breaking things down into the right parts. There's a lot of good stuff in those posts that really clarifies a lot of your post up.

I also talk about this in my guide: "Personally, I think dread levels 1-5 should be relabeled “The Shit You Should Have Been Doing In The First Place.” Build your frame. Pass shit tests. Lead and seduce your wife. Improve the major areas of your life. Lift heavy weights. Build a life. You don't have time for a sexually disinterested, annoying, or angry wife – she treats you poorly, you disengage and get busy. Dress up and upgrade your clothes. Top off your solid, masculine, strong, indefatigable frame. Lead your relationship. Use kino and seduce your wife."

The thing about all of those posts is not around the covert contracts, but the creation of a solid frame as a initial starting point. Once you have a solid frame, you can make yourself your own mental point of origin, and things progress. You read the sidebar, of which No More Mr Nice Guy is part of, and you learn about covert contracts, and you in theory don't get sucked into this godforsaken covert contract black hole. All that stuff under Slippery Slope above, that's all the characteristics of a "Nice Guy". Fuck being inauthentic. Life's too short.

And you can't fucking negotiate desire. If people would get it through their thick skull, maybe they'd be able to make some progress. That's why if you have to issue a ultimatum, you've already lost.

You've basically outed one of MRP's biggest hidden secrets that we don't talk about. Yes, the dread levels are all bullshit - but it's about as close to a plan that can be given to a noob finding this place about how to systematically unfuck his life towards outcome independence.

Personally, I've considered writing a post on the MRPer's timeline/stages and what to expect, but I'm sure Rambo would just use it to create a covert contract and blow up his life when he doesn't move from stage A to stage B in exactly "one month per level" or some other retard move.

That's the thing about men in LTRs finding this place: They want a plan already made for them because well... they've never had one before... and they're looking for the payout (covert contract) to doing this MRP thing. So let's give them a plan and send them on their way and hope they figure out exactly what you've written about here in this post.

Problem is, the entire dread system does NOTHING to explain the WHY of it, and is like giving a kid dynamite if they don't sidebar. I can't remember the last time I asked a guy here "what dread level are you on"? It's retarded.

You know, I'm interested in getting the /u/sbIII take on this, since he has such strong opinions of the dread levels author.

There's a reason that post isn't on the sidebar. We've included the book there as supplemental reading.

Isn't this about the fact there are two ways to keep your woman:

1. She wants you. She adores you.
2. She fears losing you.

Both are highly correlated but the subtle difference is huge. The first one builds a peaceful mind while the latter one builds resentment.

Having to explicitly instill dread is a poor substitute for the natural dread she would experience if she were with a proper man.

This post needs gold. Finally someone really pointed out in absolutely clear terms, mistake #1 that we all have done (and still struggle with at times).

If I had to sum it all up, it's that when women are no longer the salvation you dreamed of, go back (or start now, if you never did) to being the man you were supposed to be and take full responsibility of your life back in your hands step by step. It's the only thing you could ever do or ever did.

Outcomes can't be controlled. Only choices can. Reactions can't be controlled or guaranteed. Actions can. Consequences can't be controlled, but goals can. A man's who's ok with any outcome at the end of the finish line is more attractive than the one who isn't because he can deal with anything. Paradoxically (or actually not), the more you seek, the less you find, and the more you find, the less you seek. This is the hardest lesson to learn.

Doing the other Step by Step stuff is in a way the easy part. But finally recognizing the root of the malady and getting out of the most basic and most fundamental and more insidious mistakes we make though -- "she she she", still in her frame, outcome dependence, dancing monkey, point of origin -- that is harder. It takes time for most of us to start to get it.

Many of the dread levels are about becoming a better man and have value. However, as you said, the guide is not about becoming a better man for yourself. It's about getting her to respond to your actions.

As much as you tell people to not focus on sex when they start off their MAP, it's hard to accept. That's the reason most people, including me, arrive at MRP. It's the hope that drives people to engage in this hard mode. It takes time to find something greater than that initial goal of more / better sex. To build the abundance, To build frame, to build a mission, etc.

I think the OYS posts are the best place to challenge people's mental models and eventually ask them, "Why are you lifting? Why are you dressing well? Hmm.." To push them beyond that initial goal of more / better sex.

Matrix Analogy Nerd Time

It reminds me of when Neo was learning Kung Fu and started to breath hard in the Matrix. Morpheus asks him, "Do you think that's air you're breaking now? Hmm". He is trying to push Neo out of how he views the world. At MRP, we are trying to push people out of their mental models about how attraction, sexual market place, etc. work.

The dread level guide hurts that effort. It works against the idea of outcome independence, covert contracts, etc. It does not help the new MRP person improve themselves for themselves.

One of the first things Morpheous said to Neo is, "I can guide you, but you must do exactly as I say." So, MRP needs to give a guide. But that guide should focus on the man, not the wife response. That's steel's post.

YOU, YOU, YOU.

The best dread comes from being your own point of origin.

Then you change from being a boy with a bomb, to a man with a gun.

The boy will blow her and himself up - because he is immature.

The man will walk in, no monologs, get what he wants, and leaves.

Can you go back in time and send this to me? The danger of that book, like Horns said, is that it outlines a 'clear' plan with levels of progression. When you are sinking you want so bad for there to be an answer and you can't see the answer is about you because you are so deep in someone else's frame. To be honest, even reading this at the start I would have followed the same path and created covert/overt contracts etc.

While I agree with this post in it's entirety, I also feel that it is important for men to understand the concept of dread. Kinda like the dark side of the force. Sure, the ultimate goal is as you described; To not give a fuck. But the path to not giving a fuck is paved with hard lessons. The Red Pill introduces short cuts along the path. Dread is a shortcut.

One cannot understand the concepts you illustrate here, without first knowing and having practiced the dark side of them. If it was as easy as telling guys "Just work on yourself and everything else will fall into place", we wouldn't need a sidebar. We wouldn't need Iron Rules. We wouldn't need The Red Pill. Dread is an easy way of helping guys understand why they should making so many self improvements.

Men don't come here for self improvement. They come here because they lost the girl, or can't get the girl. They come here because the girl used sexual strategy against them and they felt manipulated. Eventually, some of us reach that zen moment that you have described here, and that should be the ultimate goal. But until they reach that moment of clear understanding, tactics like dread are necessary evils.

Thank you for a great post! I have often felt that there was something inherently flawed with dread. I always looked at it more as encouraging men to self improve, with the caveat that if they did, good things would happen in all areas of their lives. I felt like it was as I described early; a pathway to getting to the point where you don't give a fuck. You are right though, it can consume you to the point where if you lose sight of the real goal and focus on the dread itself, you are working against that ultimate goal.